The afternoon sun beat down on a throng of exhausted girls as they wearily out of the square-embossed bronze gates of Form. Relief, if nothing else, was the emotion they held in common as the sweat from a day of military training soaked through their scant white clothing. Some were relieved to have finished with the gruelling physical activity. Others were relieved to have escaped the disturbing, guilt inducing aura that permeated the section of the Temple most known for its rigorous enforcement of discipline.
"Talla? Talla?" a shaky voice called out.
She spun around quickly upon hearing her name, before realizing that the enquiry was clearly being spoken by someone who didn't know her, for the tone of voice was that of a teacher taking roll call on her first day with a new class.
Talla grimaced. If she hadn't reacted so quickly, she could have pretended not to have heard her name and simply sauntered back to Endowment and soaked in a pool. Even if this was trouble – even if it was the whole affair with Jenni and Zhair'lo falling apart – she wouldn't have been able to dodge it forever. Ordeals, after all, were to be confronted.
The chance to run away had slipped by, so she faced the young Initiate craning her neck and scanning over the horde of departing girls in white.
"Yes?"
The Initiate fixed her eyes on Talla.
"Are you Talla?"
"Yes," she admitted.
"Mistress Tia wishes to see you immediately."
Talla was taken aback. Had she heard right?
"The doctor?"
"My Mistress is the Second of Within and also a physician," the Sweetness girl confirmed.
Talla disguised her sigh of relief as an entirely authentic sign of exhaustion. This was not a trip to Form.
She hadn't been caught ... at least, not yet.
"What about?"
"Not for me to say," the girl replied with a dutiful set of her shoulders. "I was only to summon you when you finished your assignment."
Since they were both Initiates, clad in the same style of tiny skirt and simple top – though Talla's was larger to accommodate her significantly larger breasts – they walked side by side.
"Is there a rush?"
"I hope not," the Initiate blew out a breath. "I've been doing nothing but running errands." She wiped away sweat that had been beading down her forehead and threatening her eyes.
Talla couldn't be sure of her own feeling right then. What could the Summons possibly be about? She wasn't due for any kind of check up, was she? She didn't think so. What else would a doctor want with her?
They marched through the Goddess's central triangle up the hill toward Sweetness and possibilities began to filter through Talla's head. Was this about that nonsense from the upgrade? Had they figured out something about Zhair'lo and her? Did it have something to do with whatever had happened in the Priming room?
Talla tried very hard to convince herself that this had to be a simple check up, following up on her quadruple upgrade. But this rationalization had more to do with the heat and her level of exhaustion than any logical examination of the facts.
'I'm just too tired to believe anything else right now,' she sighed in resignation.
The weary girls passed through the triangle-embossed, bronze gates of Sweetness and Talla found that her guide was leading her quickly through the hospital wing. Travelling down the hallway Talla spotted the room where she'd once helped revive Shen. The sight jarred her for a moment.
She did not want to remember Shen, lying on that table, grey as death and wasted away.
Wasting away, she reminded herself. Not wasted.
Talla had been in a panic then, knowing that she'd probably broken him that night. In her desire to right one wrong – of having escaped punishment where her friends had not – she had wronged another. She had selfishly forced her needs upon Shen, drawn the blood of her punishment from his veins, and damaged his mind in doing so.
Not her greatest moment, simply put.
Talla tried to shake it off, but pale ghosts clung to her back as she trod down the hallway.
"This way, Talla," the Initiate said, waving her through a narrow archway into the room beyond. "My Mistress will see you in short order."
It was a small, windowless space in which she found herself. No one would be foolish enough to light candles or torches on an afternoon as hot as this, so the only light was the many-times reflected sunlight that wended its way down the corridors.
Talla gulped. She sat, alone, on one of the four chairs which were the only furnishings in this room. No question which way she would go next, for there was only the archway back the way she had come and a heavy oak door – slightly ajar – opposite.
She found the heel of her left sandal tapping nervously on the floor.
'Don't think about Shen,' she steeled herself. 'Don't. Don't. Don't.'
"Talla. Is that you?" a mature voice called from beyond her door.
Talla inhaled stiffly, drawing as much courage as possible into her voice.
'I'm not guilty. I'm not.'
"Yes, Mistress," she assured herself that her voice absolutely did not sound like the squeak of a mouse.
"Come in, girl."
Talla stood, pushed the door open and entered the office beyond. It was a pleasant space, a storey and a half tall. The windows faced south but were very near the ceiling so sunlight shone off the north wall and softly lit the room. Behind a desk, half hidden by a mound of parchment sat a woman Talla well recognized.
But it was not the Second of Within who had called for her. Another woman, in yellow, beckoned her forward with a friendly wave and smile that seemed sincere.
"Hello, Talla," she beckoned amiably. "Please. Please, sit. We called you here because of Shen M'han."
Talla tried not to freeze in mid-step, but knew that Jora had seen her stumble.
"What – what about him?"
"Perhaps you could tell us," Tia looked up from her papers, a stern expression on her face. "Before you came along, he was an unstable wreck of a boy. Yinay ador. Unsuitable for upgrades. Uncontrolled and uncontrollable. Barely able to please his partners."
"My – my experience was the same," Talla said.
Gods damn it. Stammering was no good at a time like this.
"Was it, though?"
"He came in my mouth, entirely by accident," she defended. "He was ashamed – it wasn't on purpose, I'm sure of it."
"Had you Served him before?" Jora asked.
"No, Mistress."
Was the 'Mistress' necessary? It seemed safer, at this point.
Jora turned to Tia.
"She must have Served him, to know that about him."
Talla was taken aback by this. There was still some question of whether she'd done her duty that night?
"Indeed," Tia did not take her eyes off Talla. "Tell us, Initiate, what he was like."
"Ashamed, mostly," she looked down at her hands. "It took a lot of work to get him around for a second try, you know? But I couldn't leave him like that, feeling bad about it. I think he'd already had a lot of negative sexual experiences."
She paused a moment before looking up into the physician's eyes.
"We're supposed to help other people, right?"
The fierceness in Talla's expression surprised Tia so much that she blinked before smiling with amusement.
"Indeed we are, Initiate," she replied. "Go on."
"So I got him going, as gently as I could," Talla said. "And I rode him once, which went well because I could kind of control him, you know?"
