Tales of the Apprentice - Book 1
Chapter 3
"Is it always like that?" Galen asked, later that evening.
They were sitting in the kitchen, the remains of dinner still on the table. Serana smiled, the light of the flames dancing in the fireplace flickering across her face. She shook her head.
"No, not always," she said. "Don't get me wrong; sex can be absolutely incredible. As you now know. But more often than not it isn't, because most people aren't very good at it, and because they're not really in touch with their inner sexual selves, let alone with someone else. And for us, sex will be part of our workings with the Energies most of the time, which means we can't afford to simply surrender to the pleasure."
"But sometimes we can?"
"Yes. Sometimes it's special."
He gazed into the fire.
"This was special," he said softly.
She nodded.
"Yes, this was very special. But this is also the most difficult part of it, Galen. Because right now it is far too easy for you to fall in love with me. You must not let that happen."
The look he gave her was... pensive, she supposed the word was.
"I understand that," he said, slowly. "And you're right; I might end up there if I let it happen. But..."
"But nothing. You
must
not. It would cause all kinds of problems right now. So don't let it happen."
"Are you saying that sex mages can't love? Or that they can't have sex out of love, or simply because they want to enjoy it together?"
"No, Galen. That's not what I said. What I mean is that at this point in your life, this early in your training, love will get in the way. And so will lust. What we did this afternoon was a rare treat. We both allowed ourselves to let go. And that's fine. Once. But we must not do it again. Trust me, it will be better and easier for you if we don't."
But she felt a pang of guilt as she said it, because deep down she knew it had been more than that, somehow. Much more. There had been a connection between them, a closeness, a melding, that she had not felt since she... Suddenly she realized that her words had not been just intended for him. She'd been speaking to herself as much as she'd been speaking to him. Great Mother, what was this young man doing to her?
"I never knew it could be like this," he said softly.
With some effort Serana got her thoughts back under control, and she smiled to hide it.
"I'll be honest: you did surprise me a little, Galen. You are either a quick learner, or you have far more experience than you told me you did. Are you sure you have had sex only twice before?"
He nodded.
"Tell me about it," she said.
He looked up, shrugged.
"Not a lot to tell," he said. "It was much like you said when we first met: I had no idea what I was doing and it was over before I knew it. The first time was a few years after I'd left Lower Dareth. It was in a small village. I don't think it even had a name. If it did, I never heard it. I was doing all sorts of odd jobs at the time while I moved from one village to another, and there I ended up rebuilding a collapsed wall behind an inn. It wasn't much of an inn, but the innkeeper gave me room and board while I was working on his wall. It was hot and I'd taken off my tunic as I worked. After a while I looked up and I saw this girl looking at me from one of the windows on the first floor. She was pretty. She smiled at me. I smiled back."
He stared into the fire for a moment.
"Maybe she liked me," he continued after a while. "Or maybe she was just interested in seeing a new face. I don't know. But that evening while I was cleaning myself up at the back of the stables, she came to me. Before I knew it she took my hand and led me inside. There was a large hay loft above the stables. She told me to go up the stairs, and I did. And then we were out of sight and there was all this hay right there..."
Serana smiled and nodded.
"I think I get the picture," she said.
"Yeah. Anyway, it was over far too quickly, and when she left me there she hadn't even told me her name. What I remember most of her..."
Suddenly he fell silent, looking slightly embarrassed. Serana looked at him and smiled.
"Go on, Galen. After what we shared this afternoon it can't be that bad. And you won't upset me, if that's what you're concerned about. I'm quite a few centuries past that kind of thing."
"Well, she had these wonderful, magnificent..."
She chuckled.
"I think the word you're looking for is 'enormous'. Yes, country girls can be rather busty sometimes. So I take it that you were on your back, she was on top of you, and there they were, bouncing right before your eyes, and all you had to do was reach out and..."
"Alright, alright, you've made your point," he protested, laughing. "Yes, that was pretty much it. And that was my first time."
Then he stopped laughing, his face suddenly serious and a little sad.
"The second time was a lot different..." he said slowly.
Serana kept quiet, waiting for him to gather his thoughts.
"The second time was a few months later," he finally went on. "Her name was Rhinda. I'd gone a few villages further south, and I was working at the local bakery, building a new oven. The brickwork at the old one had started to crumble because they hadn't use the right clay when they originally built it, and... Anyway, that's not important. She came there every morning to buy bread. First we just exchanged a few glances, and a few days later she walked past me while I was having a drink of water at the well in the afternoon. She wasn't especially pretty, I suppose. But she had the softest brown hair and lovely eyes, and she was the sweetest person I'd met in a very long time."
He smiled, remembering, but his smile was sad.
"What happened?" Serana asked.
"We, ehm, somehow kept running into each other more often from then on, and one evening we took a walk together. It was a beautiful evening. We kissed, and one thing sort of led to another. I was nervous and clumsy, but she was patient and sweet. It was quite late by the time we came back. I saw her off to her home, and then I went to sleep in the shed behind the bakery where I was working. The baker would let me sleep there while I was working for him."
He sighed, his face suddenly grim.
"I woke up a few hours later. Rhinda was banging on the door of the shed. She was a mess. Her father had beaten her half to death. But what she was most upset about was that he'd beaten my name out of her. There she stood: bleeding, bruised, black eyes, missing teeth and what not, but all she was really worried about was me. She told me to run, because her old man was on his way to kill me. There was something in her voice that told me she wasn't exaggerating. She was terrified. I didn't want to leave her like that, but she got more and more agitated by the minute and she begged me to go, so finally I grabbed my stuff and left. I was going to hide somewhere and come back the next morning to see if I couldn't get things sorted out, but I had barely made it out of the village before Rhinda's father caught up with me. He had a knife in one hand and in the other he had a sword, if you can believe that. It was old and pretty rusty, but it still looked like it could make a nasty hole in someone. So I ran. If he hadn't been half drunk I'd never have made it. Also, the moon had set by then and I managed to lose him in the dark. I never went back there."
He sighed again and stared into the fire.