Tivy was sitting alone at the kitchen table. The white LED lights overhead buzzed against her ears. Never before had the light been so harsh, nor the sound been so loud, but yet, not enough to distract her from the events of the day.
The flat was unusually quiet. With so many people in a relatively small area, normally it was nigh on impossible to get a break from the hustle and bustle of people coming and going. But tonight, the mood had shifted; solemn, sad. It wasn't particularly late either; everyone had decided to go to bed early, as no-one felt much like socialising after V's funeral. Tivy too had gone to bed - for a while - but after what felt like hours of tossing and turning, she'd realised that she just couldn't settle. She'd crept out of the bedroom, so as not to wake Trent who had passed out almost immediately, and made her way into the kitchen. Normally this was her place of haven, of cooking and socialising, of warmth and family, but it felt like none of those things this night. Although, the cold floor beneath her bare little feet was somewhat soothing. And the light, although harsh, was a welcome embrace against the dark. And the ringing in her ears, although it made her twitch and flick her head as it cut into her ears, was a saving grace from the deafening silence, that was so seldom heard in the small flat.
She fidgeted for a while. A half-eaten bowl of chocolate fudge cake sat on the table in front of her, drowning in pouring cream. She poked at it with her spoon, but for once, her appetite failed her. She yawned, as she was exhausted, and yet, she was restless too. She wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting on the hard wooden chair, but her feet - which couldn't quite reach the floor - were starting to go numb, and pins and needles were tingling up her legs. Finally, she forced her body to move, sliding down from the chair, and began to tidy up the place.
Unfortunately, there wasn't really anything to tidy. They had eaten at V's wake, and no-one had had an appetite afterwards, and so there was no washing up. There was no laundry either; for once, Tivy cursed her hyper-organisation, and no-one had left their dresses and suits in the bathroom for her to clean.
She found herself in the hallway, and slowly started picking up their pairs of discarded dress shoes, kicked off and left in the entryway. She placed them all, one by one, gently onto the shoe rack by the side of the door, then walked back into the kitchen. She pulled the tea towel off of the radiator, re-folded it, then put it back. She walked over to the fridge, and opened the door wide. The fridge's usually gentle hum seemed... louder than usual. She peered inside, standing on her tiptoes so that she could see the very highest shelves, and reviewed its contents. Meal prep was one of her jobs and... of course, she'd already done it. Everything that could be done, had been done. Tupper-boxes of pre-sorted soup mixes, diced meat and sliced veggies, hell, even pre-weighed spice packets for everyone, so she could get their soup just how they liked it. The fridge was as complete as a fridge could be.
There was nothing for her to do.
And she hated it.
She stood in the middle of the kitchen, wishing someone had left a glass or bowl out, anything. But there was nothing.
WAIT!
Tivy padded over to the table excitedly, back to her half-eaten dessert. The bowl needed washing! And needed putting away! She could empty the food bin too, and take it outside...
But she didn't move. She stood, fingers gripping the back of the chair, and just stared into the bowl's murky leftovers. She couldn't bring herself to raise her arms.
What am I supposed to do?!
She'd be angry if she'd had more energy. Now, she was just frustrated, and sad. She hated both of those feelings. As she stood, staring the bowl down, her eyes boring into its soul, sure that at any moment, just her mental determination alone would cause it to move itself over to the sink --
- She heard a soft click down the corridor, as one of the bedroom doors opened.
Tivy panicked. She immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and shovelled a heavy piece of cake into her mouth. The sickly sweet concoction swirled around in her mouth, and no matter how much she chewed, it only seemed to get thicker and stickier. As she was preparing herself for another mouthful, heavy footsteps creaked against the floorboards, and Seeth walked into the room. She walked slowly, almost deliberately, and opened her mouth to speak. Although she seemed a little hesitant, she looked poised, and determined. However it was in this momentary hesitation that Tivy's panic boiled over.
"I WAS HUNGRY." Tivy blurted out, sending cake crumbs flying across the table. Seeth froze, her mouth still agape, but no sound came out. It wasn't often she was caught off guard, but Tivy... Tivy seemed to have a knack for it. She stared across the table at the critter, her mouth covered in chocolate, who was furiously pushing another heaping spoonful of cake into her mouth. There was a long moment of silence between the two of them, in which Tivy made a very loud, very obvious audible gulp as she swallowed.
"That's... great?" Seeth forced out a dry, awkward chuckle. Unlike Tivy, who had gotten changed into a comfy onesie adorned with little yellow ducks the moment she'd gotten home, Seeth was still wearing her suit, consisting of a black pair of trousers, a smart black blazer and a white shirt. She had loosened the tie around her neck though. The blazer fit her well and was quite long, reaching down past her hips, and while it doesn't completely hide or envelop her figure, it didn't highlight it either. All in all, she looked rather modest, which was exactly what she was going for when she paid extra for the fitting and adjustments. The last thing she'd wanted was to be the centre of attention at someone's funeral, and it was money she was happy to pay, out of respect for Garnet's wife. "I... I just wanted to see how you were doing? I heard you get up. I couldn't sleep either." Seeth smiled then, sadly but genuinely.
"I want the sleep... but the sleep don't want me!" Tivy laughed half-heartedly. "I dunno. I feel weird. I... I don't actually want the cake... I just kinda panicked."
"Why did you panic?" Seeth laughed back. "We're not the cake police, Tiv."
"I-I know! I just felt... silly... standing around in the kitchen." Tivy grinned up at the czarite.
"Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad that you're still up. I was wondering if we could talk?"
"Sure! Is it about your soup for tomorrow? It's all prepared, even the meat! Geralt helped me! I done the spices just how you like them!"
"Err... No. Maybe we could go into the living room? Might be a bit more comfortable there."
"Okay!"
Tivy hopped down from the chair once more and pattered off towards the living room. On the way, she yanked a few sheets of kitchen roll off the side and furiously rubbed the chocolate away from her mouth.
Seeth followed behind, and gently pushed the door to behind her. She sat down on the sofa, in the furthest end of the room. Tivy, after switching on the fireplace, had quickly curled up into the single armchair. Like a house cat, Seeth thought to herself with a smile.
The smile quickly wavered, though. She was feeling... pretty good, all things considered, cool, calm and collected, however she was under no assumption that this conversation was going to be an easy one.
"I wanted to talk to you. About today and... about the attack on the Den."
It was Tivy's turn to be taken off guard now. She froze, and Seeth noticed immediately the shift in her demeanour. "It's okay, Tiv." She said softly. "You're not in any danger. It's just me, and we're just talking."
As she began to quiver, Tivy stood from the armchair and went over to Seeth, hopping up onto the sofa and sitting herself right next to her, getting as close as she could to the Controller. She reached her hand out towards Seeth, and she reciprocated, Tivy's whole hand only able to hold just a couple of Seeth's fingers. After a few seconds, she calmed.
"Okay... We can talk, if you want."
They sat in silence for a few more seconds, while Seeth considered exactly what to say. There was so much she wanted to ask, and didn't know quite where to start. "I just... Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what?" Tivy replied.
"About your past? That you and Vora Baro-"
Before Seeth could even finish her question, Tivy started trembling with fright, just at the very mention of their name. Seeth took a deep breath. "Did you tell anybody?"
"N-N-o... But Trent k-knows now. I was having n-nightmares a-after..."
"It's okay." Seeth did her best to sooth the critter. With her free hand, she rubbed gently against Tivy's back. "I just wish you'd told me -"
"Why?!" Tivy suddenly cried out. "What difference would it have made? Would you have turned down Garnet's contracts? Y-Y-You've helped so many people, people that were like m-me... But V got hurt, and... and now I don't know how to feel..."
"I would have been more careful." Seeth said, softly but firmly. "I would have talked less about my work at home. I wouldn't have told you at all! I would have made sure I came home clean, and left any... dirty clothes at the Den. You washed my uniforms, Tiv, and still you didn't say anything! I would've kept you safe. And, maybe..." Seeth dropped her gaze. "Maybe I could've tried to get to you first. And maybe, if I had, V would still be here, and -"
"- You didn't fail." Tivy turned her large, sad eyes to look up at Seeth. "Someone else might have got hurt instead. You can't think like that, what if what if what if. It's good to move forward."
"Is that what you do? Move forward?"
"I... I have to... A-Anyway, why are you suddenly interested?" Tivy laughed shakily. "We've been friends a long time now, and you never asked any of us about before!"
Before... Before what? Before we kidnapped you? Violated you? Destroyed your livelihoods and changed your lives forever. Yeah. Before. "I know... I'm trying to change that now, I'm trying to be... a better friend." Seeth cleared her throat, then changed the subject back before she could get lost in her own dark thoughts. "Pushing forward like that, all the time, it must get tiring sometimes though?"
