Dramatis Personae
Elastique
Innocent Bystander
Robber
On a fine sunny afternoon in New Lust City. A citizen walks down the main street with his friends. He sashays as he tells the stories of his latest conquest at some local club. His crew cackles and carries on as they pass the dark alley. In a city this huge the crime rate is unexpectedly low due to all the Superotics in residence, so it comes as quite a shock when a dark hand reaches out and snatches up the designer bag right off his shoulder.
"Hey!" he screeches as the figure disappears into the dark.
"Sorry Sucker! You're outta luck today!", the robber shouts over his back as he books into the recesses of the alley, "Now I can finally get that new switch! This handbag is gonna score me a mint!"
The thief rapidly navigates the back alleys between the downtown businesses, finally slowing down in a dank corner where he hides behind a dumpster as he starts to open the bag. "Now let's see what else is in here!"
A merry chuckle from out of nowhere catches the Thief's attention and he looks up just as he hears the words...
"CANNONBALLS!"
From the rooftop the Superotic Elastique stretches his body like a rubber band and fires himself at the thief ... BALLS FIRST! As he rapidly closes the distance his scrotum expands 10 times...20 times...80 times their normal size. Morphing into gigantic titanic testicles that crash over the unsuspecting thief's body knocking him prone to the ground. "Ooooooooooooooooh yeah daddy!" Elastique moans as his testicles encase the perpetrator, Elastique looks down at the pinned perpetrator while sitting upon his massive sack using it as a giant bean bag, "Now...you seriously didn't think you would get away with this in this town huh? So...cutie...why don't you just give us the bag and let's get you down to central station for your photoshoot Huh?"
The thief struggles under the massive mounds of manliness, "Ugh...are these your balls??? Get off of me!! " he prys his arms free and attempts to pull himself out from under the massive testicles.
"Oh here let me help you!" Elastique says as his bulge shrinks down to normal size. As they shrink Elastique is left straddling the thief's shoulder and face, his balls resting upon the pinned perps mouth and chin.
"Aaghhhhhhhhh get your balls outta my face!!" the thief shouts as he attempts to shove Elastique off of him. Simultaneously, Elastique swings his leg over the thief's head as he attempts to turn around to pick up the discarded bag. Unexpectedly, the shove finds a different target than intended.
The Thief finds his hand plunged in between Elastique's jiggly buns. Normally, in any other situation this would probably be an impossible event. You see Elastique's powers provide him the ability to stretch and expand any part of his body! He is virtually malleable and moldable and thus impossible to harm. The thief surprisingly finds his hand plunge in between the jiggly buns up past his wrist.
Elastique moans and gasps at the sudden unexpected penetration. He turns and winks at the thief, "I didn't expect this on our first date!"