"We know antimatter exists...but we don't know anything about its properties. Shouldn't it follow the same laws of physics as matter? And if all matter has mass, and therefore gravity, then shouldn't antimatter also have gravity? And if it has gravity, then won't it by nature tend to aggregate? In which case, why can't there be antimatter asteroids? Comets? Maybe even planets?" I re-read what I wrote, and clicked send. Another salvo in my ongoing campaign to prepare the physics community to understand what it will be looking at when, some nineteen years down the road, the antimatter comet destined to collide with (and thus obliterate) Earth will first show itself.
I went to my email and started clearing out the hate mail I was getting from the physics establishment, which considered me a crackpot if not an outright nutcase. A number of petitions had been circulated calling to ban me from the boards, but so far at least the moderators had refused to do so, since I was persistent but polite and was not violating any of the rules of the forum. That, and the pesky fact that although my opinions were unpopular and contrary to prevailing wisdom, there were no FACTS that could definitely disprove my assertions. Like in "12 Angry Men," as long as I was allowed to keep talking, eventually the facts would bear me out, because of course I knew all about dark matterβit's a lot more common in the corner of the universe I come from than it is around here.
Oh, whoops...I suddenly realized the email I'd just deleted wasn't from the physics board, it was from the much more exciting part of my plan to save the worldβfathering an army of half-human hybrids that might inherit some of the "powers" indigenous to my kind. Your species and mine are an amazing case of parallel evolution, despite taking place 300 light-years apart and in vastly different environments. We are so similar that, amazingly, we can interbreed; so far there had been two dozen or so live births. I estimated that it was going to take about 200 individuals with abilities like mine, however, to try to divert the comet, so every day I diligently went out, met and mated with at least one human female. Yeah, it's great to have all that sex, but it's also extremely draining over the long haul--just ask any aging rock star. Fortunately, it had recently gotten easier thanks to a chance encounter with Crystal, the mother of one of my first children. She frequented singles boards on the net; once I let her in (against my better judgment) on the future fate of earth, she started using those connections to hook me up with others on the boards. She would tell slightly embellished tales of how amazing it was to have sex with me and how huge my dick was, and every now and then someone would bite on the bait (for the record, phalluses of my species seem to run about 50% bigger than yours).
Sxyktty21 was a girl I'd hooked up with last week through one of Crystal's connections, and she seemed to have left a satisfied customer. It was too soon for her to realize she was pregnant (she wouldn't have expected to be, not knowing that my sperm carries hormones that stimulate ovulation and thus counteract oral contraceptives), so I was curious why she'd be emailing me again. I went to my trash bin to find the message and opened it up.
Bill-
Thanks again for the amazing eveningβI'll be forever spoiled by the size of your...manhood. But just as I didn't believe it, I have a girlfriend who is convinced that I'm making up stories. She'll only believe it if she can see it for herself, so I told her I'd pass it along to see if that would be something you'd be interested in. There's a big costume party that we'll both be going to next weekend, and it tends to get a little wild--I'm quite certain it would be well worth your while, if you know what I mean. Let me know if you're interested, and I'll send you the details...
Kelly
Awesomeβa customer referral, so to speak. Good thing she signed her name, though, because I had forgotten it. Come to think of it, I don't think she'd ever told me her name; she was anxious to see the goods, and once she did you couldn't pry her off me. Smiling to myself, I wrote her back saying I'd love to.
------------
That Saturday night I found myself walking up to a huge mansion in the hills outside Hollywood. It was dark and stormy, which seemed appropriate because the massive structure I could make out with each burst of lightning seemed to be half Hefner and half Frankenstein. There were a lot of cars out front, but the only other sign of life was an older, baron of industry-type who was walking in the door as I approached with what seemed to be a vivacious young blonde. It was hard to tell, because she was wearing a long pink trenchcoat, but in a flash of lighting I saw she had on the kind of high heels you generally only find at a porn shoot.
I got to the door. I was expecting to find a butler, but instead found two burly, hired-security types. I murmured the secret passphrase without which, I was told, I would not get int. That was just one of the things that was odd about this event; she had said it was a costume party, but when Kelly wrote back she clarified that it was kind of a costume party for the girls, but for men the dress code was business casual. Then, when I got inside, I was ushered to a large room on the left with all of the other men. I got myself some gin, then went to wander the house--but the only other door in the room was watched by a servant, who admonished me as I approached "not yet, sir. Soon." Soon--for what?
Almost all of the men seemed to be mover-and-shaker types. There were a few faces I recognized from the film industry (both sides of the camera), but I won't out those people by naming names. I wasn't here to schmooze, so I took up a position by the wall where I could see the entryway. I soon recognized a pattern. A few men came alone like me, usually the younger-looking ones. Most came with a beautiful young escort; the ladies were always shuttled to the right, the men to the left. A few times a group of beautiful young women came unescorted; I actually saw Kelly arrive with two other girls who I presumed were her friends. I thought she would come speak to me, having invited me, but instead she only gave me a quick wave before heading to the right. And the weirdest part of all--every single woman came in wearing a long pink trenchcoat. What was this, a coordinated costume party?
Another partygoer came up to me suspiciously. "I don't believe we've met. My name is Arthur."
"Bill," I said, shaking his hand and seeming cordial without inviting further conversation.