Chapter 23: The God Liam and the Goddess Miranda
"Let me get this straight, Mushy, you want me to lead a prayer?" Liam asked.
"It would be a great honor, Lord," said Myanmush, showing his yellow teeth. The holiday of the Great Reward was fast approaching, the day when citizens celebrated their eventual reward for showing fealty to the Gods. "The people would love to hear more details of the afterlife to come from an actual God."
Liam and Miranda exchanged warning glances. Then Liam smiled thinly and said, "Of course! It will be my pleasure, Mushy. Spread the word!"
"I will, my Lord!" and he turned and left.
"What was that all about?" Miranda asked.
"Mushy thinks he's being clever," Liam said, in a low voice. "He wants me to give a religious sermon, and he thinks I know nothing about the Book of Sparticus, and that in my ignorance I'll expose myself."
"But he's right. You don't know anything about the Book of Sparticus."
"I tried to read it once, but it has a very meandering plot and I can't relate to any of the protagonists," Liam complained..
********
That Sunday, nearly a thousand parishioners streamed into the Shrine of Sparticus in central Phthiotis. The Shrine was so crowded, that many parishioners had to stand.
Liam stood on the stage, flanked by Miranda, Myanmush, some Tollahs, and a number of his Fists. Mushy couldn't contain his grin. He thought Liam was going to expose himself as a fraud.
The previous night, Liam had picked up the Good Book. He had tried to read it again, but it was too many pages. The print was too tiny. And it was too tedious and meandering. No, he would just use his wits for this one.
"Welcome, everyone," said Liam, using his megaphone disc, to impress them with his godliness. The crowd rippled with anticipation.
"I am here today to say a few words about the Great Reward." He saw Miranda looking at him intently. So was everyone else in the audience.
And Liam had absolutely no idea what he was going to say next. He found he worked best that way, sometimes.
He remembered one fact about the Book which had stuck with him. "The Good Book says, if you do good works in your life, that in the heavens you will be rewarded with 173 women."
The crowd hung on to his every word. Here, now, was a God telling them about the afterlife!
They looked like they wanted him to say something more. It was time to start theorizing.
"But what you may not know is that these 173 women are all exceptionally beautiful," said Liam. "They all have large breasts, wonderful breasts of many different kinds. Round breasts, cantaloupe shaped breasts, eggplant shaped breasts, melon breasts, juicy breasts, firm breasts, and more. Every variety of breasts you can possibly imagine."
He looked at the audience. The men seemed really interested.
"And their faces! Gorgeous faces, all with plush lips, beautiful hair, and sparkling eyes, of every color."
Liam paused, desperately thinking for what else to say. "And between their legs! They are very tight down there, very tight, five times tighter than any woman here on Earth!"
A low moan went over the crowd.
"But do not worry! They are also wet, very wet, so you will get incredible friction, better friction than you ever dreamed of in real life!"
"And now for the best part!" What was the best part? Liam tried to think quickly. "When you have sex, you will NEVER tire. So if you want to, you can have sex with all 173 women, every day!"
The men in the crowd roared, and started to go wild. Liam began to feel inspired.
"And more about the women! They never have their periods! They never complain! They never say they are too tired, or have a headache! They never need to go shopping, or spend time alone with their friends! They are always eager for your touch, always grateful to service you! They moan at the slightest caress! When they climax, they look at you with such appreciation that you yourself will FEEL LIKE A GOD!" He roared that last part.
The crowd was cheering wildly now. But Liam noticed that only the men were cheering.
"But let us also not forget the women! Good and virtuous women have their rewards when they go to the heavens too." From what little Liam knew of the Book, nothing was mentioned of what would happen to women in the afterlife. So he would have to be in full creative mode now. Should he say that women would be rewarded with 173 men? No, they might not like that, and it also might upset their husbands. So what should he say?
"Ladies, when you go to the heavens, you will be with your husbands. Yes, they will have 173 women, but that will only be on weekdays. On weekends, you will have them all to yourselves! And when you die, you will appear in the heavens young, as when you were 20 years of age, with firm breasts, skin that doesn't sag, no wrinkles, and the thing between your legs will get wet quite well without any outside help!"
The women started to look happier.
"And you will never have to do cooking, never have to do cleaning, never have to do chores again! Angels will gladly do all of it for you! And the laundry too. Angels will do all of that for you!"
The women looked positively gleeful.
"And you will never have your periods ever again!"
Now it was the women who were roaring with delight.
"And your children, they will all be reduced to babies and toddlers, who will never grow up, so you can play with them as you once did! And when they annoy you, you can send them away to Angel daycare, who will take care of them until you are once again in the mood for them!"
The women were cheering at the top of their lungs now.
"That is what awaits you in the heavens! That is the reward for those who are virtuous! Follow the Gods, and all will be yours!" Liam said, raising his voice.
Myanmush looked shocked as the crowd cheered him on.
"God Liam! God Liam! God Liam! God Liam!" they shouted.
Liam turned to Miranda, who couldn't help but smile back at him.
********
"Is what you said in the Shrine, about the afterlife, really so?" Gabrielle asked innocently, her large breasts pressed against his naked chest. Liam had just finished servicing Arola, the chambermaid, and the moment she departed, Gabrielle had promptly come in and stripped down and gotten into bed with him. The redhead lay there, pressing her wonderfully soft and lovely breasts against him.
"Definitely," said Liam, looking down at her twin beauties.
"So, suppose there is man I like here, on Earth," she said, looking at him. "In the heavens, he will have 173 women, but I will still be able to have him on weekends?"
"Yes," said Liam.
"Then what am I do to on weekdays?" Gabrielle asked.
"Shopping," said Liam promptly. He fondled her breasts. How could breasts really be this soft? "There is a lot of good shopping in heaven."
"Really?"
"Yes. Shoe stores, dress stores... you can have your nails done every day. Did you know that in Heaven, they sell 20,000 different kinds of shoes alone?"
"They do?" Gabrielle looked excited. Her nipples started to expand, though whether it was from Liam's touch or the thought of 20,000 shoes was hard to tell at the moment.
"Yes," Liam assured her. "Heaven can give you the most tremendous shopping experience you can possibly imagine." He gently let his fingertips roam over her body.
"But how do I pay for these things?"
"Angel dust," said Liam promptly. His mind was on automatic now. He was really just basking in her young, hot, warm body.
"And where do I get angel dust from?"
"You just scrape it off of clouds. It's everywhere," said Liam absentmindedly, as he returned to her breasts, squeezing them firmly. They felt so good in his palms! "You'll have enough to buy whatever you want."
"It sounds wonderful," the redhead said wistfully, laying her head against his chest. "Will you be there, too, God Liam? Will I see you there?"
"Of course," said Liam. "I am your God. I am everywhere," he said, gently stroking her hair, and then tilting up her head, to give her a kiss.
********
"You're late," said Miranda, as she finished her breakfast the next morning. Liam came in and sat down.
"What's wrong?" said Miranda.
"Nothing," said Liam. "I was just meeting with some travelers from Heraklion."
"Oh? That's Brother Khalid's territory, isn't it?"
"Yes," said Liam.
"I wonder how he's doing there."
"Quite well, from what I hear," said Liam, biting into a piece of toast.
"Liam, is something wrong?" Miranda asked.
Liam smiled. "No. I just have a big announcement to make today."
"What is it?"
"The biggest."
********
"I have been in communication with the Gods," said Liam, speaking loudly. "They are starting to be pleased with your spiritual progress. But they want more. They want to see some positive sign of your devotion to the Gods."
"What must we do?" A man in the audience of the Throne Room asked.
"You must build a mighty temple. Mightier than any you have ever built before. This temple must be in the shape of an enormous pyramid. And to prove it is to honor the Gods, the top of the pyramid must bear my image."
"Liam!" said Miranda, jumping up.
He ignored her. "This temple must be complete within nine months."
"Nine months! That's impossible!" said someone.
"Every able bodied man must contribute half his time to building this temple. This temple is more important than all other efforts.
"More important than bringing the crops!"
"Yes."
"More important than running a business?"
"Yes."
"How will we tend our farms?"
"Your children and women will have to help out. The Gods demand this of you to prove your devotion. Will you deny them this?"
The audience yelled "NO!" resoundingly.
"Then let us begin."