Chapter 3: The God Taylor and the Goddess Alexis
Taylor slowly landed the
USS Asgard
back on Arcadia. He had just finished dropping off his passengers to the various cities throughout this "Earth": Argolis, Boeotia, Imanthia, Phthiotis, and Heraklion. He felt more than a pang of concern for them. He worried for their safety. But what happened now was entirely up to them.
Taylor would have preferred not to make all these little trips around the planet. The remaining generator operated through a series of temporary repairs which could collapse at any time. But the ship had managed to make these short trips, and now he was returning to Arcadia. This time he landed right in the center of the city, in a big plaza by what looked like the largest Shrine of Sparticus in the city.
Tara, Alexis, and Jefferson met him at the airlock, all wearing their spacesuits (without helmets), as he had instructed. Taylor thought the futuristic look of the suits would help with their initial introduction.
He told Jefferson to stay with the ship, and then the three of them headed out. In the back of his mind he wondered if Tara and Alexis would get along with each other. It should have been the least of his worries, but he thought about it from time to time. It seemed like Alexis enjoyed hugging him and holding his hand whenever Tara was around, and Tara would always give them dirty looks when she did.
A large crowd of curious people started to form around the
Asgard
, as Taylor intended. People stopped and looked at them in their spacesuits.
Taylor had spent every free moment he could studying the Book of Sparticus. He felt it held the key to understanding these people and communicating with them in a way they could relate to.
It was both a fascinating and a horrifying read. Sparticus had not been a God, not exactly, but had been closely associated with them. He had been a hero of the Gods, working on their behalf. He fought and he conquered and he killed and he murdered, all in the name of the Gods. His specialty was in killing non-believers and those who strayed from the path of righteousness. This went on for pages and pages, mixed in with vague parables which suggested ways in which followers should live their lives. Or maybe not. Many of the stories were so vague that it was hard to make sense of them. What does it mean that if you have three cows you should slaughter one of them? Are you meant to do it only if your neighbor is starving for food? Does the rule apply to goats as well? The stories, without further context, made it difficult to make sense of, which is what led to preposterous rules like the murder of every third child.
Equally fascinating was the description of the afterlife. Those who were worthy and virtuous could look forward to quite a reward in the heavens. Men could be assured a life of paradise with 173 women to service their every need. The physical properties of these women were described in great detail, as having "spaces between their legs twice as tight as a child's", having bosoms "firm yet overflowing with goodness", and being of a mind to serve the righteous to satisfy their every need with the mindset of cheerful sex slaves.
People who strayed from the path of righteousness, however, were condemned to spend eternity in what was called the "Womanless Forest". That's right, it was called the "Womanless Forest", a place with no women to fulfill sexual needs of any kind. The forest was essentially empty, filled only with trees and flowers and berries and streams and sunlight and birds and animals. Living in nature, without having female sex slaves, was considered the most horrible sort of afterlife that the followers of Sparticus could imagine.
And their entire culture was shaped by this theology. Taylor kept this in mind as he faced the crowds around them. He put a megaphone disc to his mouth.
"We are the Gods of Sparticus!" he said. The crowd 'Oooohed' and fell to their knees.
"We have returned! Just as the Book of Sparticus promised, we have returned in a fiery chariot made of silver! My name is Taylor. You may call me 'God', or 'M'Lord'. With me are two other gods of Sparticus, the Goddess Tara and the Goddess Alexis. We have come because we are displeased! You have not been properly following the Book of Sparticus!"
There were cries from the crowd. They were obviously distressed.
"We will be gentle with you, but we will show you the way!"
The crowd started to yell, "Yes! Yes! Save us! Save us, God Taylor!"
Taylor put down the megaphone disc. He saw an entourage come out of the Shrine of Sparticus. He recognized Aristedes, the High Tollah, surrounded by guards and a gaggle of other lesser Tollahs.
Taylor, Tara and Alexis stepped forward. This time their encounter with the High Tollah was going to end quite differently.
The High Tollah was trembling in their presence.
"Sparticus save us!" he gasped, falling to his knees. There was no more talk of executing the visitors.
"Will you obey the word of the Gods?" Taylor boomed, his silvery spacesuit shining mightily in the morning light.
"Yes, God Taylor!" said the High Tollah.
"Good! To begin with, there will be no more killing of third children!"
"No more killing of thirds?" The High Tollah gasped. "But the Book of Sparticus says that thirds must be eliminated. Anjaman had three cows, while others had none, and Sparticus told him that he had one cow too many, causing him to slaughter the third."
"You have misread the Book of Sparticus," Taylor said.
"I have?"
"People are not cows," said Taylor. "Did you realize that?"
"Yes," said the High Tollah. "But the meaning was clear-"
"In the Book of Sparticus, Sarus of Melkingham also had three songbirds, and Sparticus praised his singing, did he not?"
"Yes," said the High Tollah.
"And Ingram of Mellnus had three bales of hay for his donkey, but did not feel overburdened, did he not?"
"True," said the High Tollah.
"This is what the Book means with regard to babies. Third babies are more like third songbirds and third bales of hay than they are like third cows."
The High Tollah's face was screwed up, as he tried to follow. "Yes... yes.. I follow... I think I see."
Taylor raised his voice. "Raise not your hand against your third children! Anyone who does so will be violating the teachings of Sparticus, and face the wrath of the Gods!"
And then the crowd actually cheered! His first ruling had been a popular one.
Behind him, he heard Alexis turn to Tara and whisper admiringly, "Hey, he's pretty good, isn't he?" A chill went down Taylor's spine.
"And now we come to the matter of execution for heresy," said Taylor.
"The Book of Sparticus clearly states that those who slander the gods should be executed," said the High Tollah.
"You misread the Book," said Taylor, and there were gasps from the crowd. "The actual passage states that, 'And Heronimus of Delphi spoke out against the Gods, and Sparticus saw to it that he was severely punished for his crimes.' The Book does not speak of death."
"But... the implication...."
"Now that we, the Gods of Sparticus, have returned,
we
will be the ones to punish heretics. We have punishments which can cause a hundred times greater pain than you can imagine, and yet without leaving a mark on the victim."
The crowd oooohed at that.
"Give us your heretics, so we may give them the most painful punishment they can imagine, a thousand times worse than death!"
"It shall be done," said the High Tollah reverently.
By then, Taylor had them eating out of the palm of his hand. Both Tara and Alexis looked at him admiringly. They never imagined that a lowly Survey Service Lieutenant could impersonate a God.
But Taylor was not done. "Next, there is the matter of welcoming your young daughters into adulthood."
Aristedes was defensive immediately. "The Book requires it of us! It is a duty for all fathers! The Book says that all girls who reach the age of ascension must be welcomed into it by their fathers!"
"Yes, the Book does say that," said Taylor. "The Book also says that when Thartos arrived at Ismir, he was welcome by Shasbut. Does that mean that Shasbut had sex with Thartos?"
"Well... no."
"When Torus of Mir went to visit his ailing father, it was said that his ailing father also welcomed his son. Does that mean that sick fathers should have sex with their grown sons?"
"Well... no," said the High Tollah, proceeding slowly and reluctantly.
"Therefore, the word 'welcome' can mean things other than having sex, can it not?"
"Well..."
"You have misinterpreted the Great Book," Taylor intoned.
The crowd Oooohed.
The High Tollah scratched his head. "So what does it mean, that a father must welcome a daughter into adulthood?"
Taylor sighed. "It simply means they must talk with their daughters, and tell them the responsibilities of being a woman."
"That's it? Really?" Aristedes looked doubtful.
"Yes," said Taylor.
Aristedes paused, and look at the crowd. He saw no other way out of it. "It shall be done," he said reluctantly.
The crowd gave a roaring cheer. Evidently the practice of fathers having vaginal sex with their 12 year old daughters was not exactly a popular religious practice here.
Taylor turned to Aristedes with a smile on his face.
"What else, Lord?" Aristedes said, thoroughly cowed.
"This is a sufficient beginning," said Taylor graciously, having outlawed infanticide, child rape, and the execution of so-called heretics, all in the space of ten minutes. It had been a productive morning. "We will need accommodations, and food, befitting Gods."
"The Palace of Sparticus here in Arcadia is among the smaller of Sparticus's Palaces, and may be too humble for you, but might suit your needs temporarily."
"Let us go and see it then."
They did, and the crowd followed them.
The Palace of Sparticus was small, for a Palace, more like a large mansion, but impressive nonetheless. It was a majestic stone building, with two floors and fifteen rooms. It looked well maintained, and was apparently occupied by Tollahs.
"Will this do, Lord Taylor?" the High Tollah asked.
"For now," Taylor sniffed. "Have your lackeys clear out."
The Tollah barked orders, and the Tollahs streamed out of the building at a run.
"I will order food and drink to be brought to you in plenty, and have the Fists of Sparticus protect you so that you are undisturbed," said the High Tollah, indicating his pikesmen.
"You are so kind," said Taylor.
He turned and left to make the arrangements.
The minute he was gone, Alexis grabbed Taylor and gave him a great big kiss on the lips. "You were wonderful! How did you know what to say?"
"I studied the Book," said Taylor. "Once I knew the rules, I knew how to play the game."
Tara looked at Taylor with admiration too, but also with something else. She bit her lip as she watched Alexis hugging Taylor. Alexis caught her stare. "What's wrong, toots? Feeling left out? You can give him a hug, this one time I give my permission."
Tara turned away, and Alexis laughed.
Chapter 4: The God Samuel and the Goddess Pamela
"Are you ready?" Samuel whispered, standing at the airlock. Taylor had just landed the ship in a big plaza in the middle of Argolis, one of the six great cities of the planet "Earth", and crowds had gathered outside.
"I'm ready if you're ready," said Pam.
"Well, I'm not ready, so you must not be," said Samuel.
"We can still go back," said Pam.
"
You
can go back. You'll be much safer with the Lieutenant," said Samuel.
"So that's what this is about," said Pam. "You're just trying to get rid of me. You're not really afraid."
