"That bitch is now eighteen and some people are starting to talk about terminating my regency and installing her as the proper and anointed queen. They say my rule is too harsh and that it's time for the Princess to take her proper place" Queen Ravenna was livid. That damned princess with her pale skin and her happy smile and fancy name was enough to make anyone sick. What sort of imbecile named their Snow White, anyway? Something had to be done.
"Eric," cooed the Queen, turning a charming smile on her favourite huntsman. "I think the time has come for you to take the Princess for another jaunt in the magic forest."
"The magic forest, my queen?" queried Eric. "It's a dangerous place, you know, and I was under the impression that the princess was forbidden to go there."
Ravenna smiled. "But she so loves that forest. It would be a shame to deprive the sweet child of one final treat."
"I'm not sure exactly what you mean," said Eric, the sickening drop in his stomach telling him he understood only too well.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said the Queen. "Let me be a bit more explicit. You will take the princess into the forest, deep into the forest, where you will arrange a little accident for her. A fatal accident. Understand?"
Eric gulped nervously. "I understand, Your Highness. I'm just not sure if it's wise."
"You don't have to be sure," came the cold reply. "You just have to do as you're told. Bring me back her heart. If you fail, there will be no more nookie for you," she added sweetly.
Eric looked at the beautiful queen, eyeing her magnificent body. He'd do what was required. As he turned to leave the Queen spoke again.
"Remember, Eric, the child is a virgin. Don't be tempted to rape her while you're in the forest or something very nasty will happen to you. It's not called the magic forest for nothing. Just go, do what must be done and then return here for your reward."
The huntsman left, and very soon Snow White found herself riding into the magic forest, delighted with this unexpected treat. Deep into the forest they went, Eric picking little used trails to take them into the very heart of the forest, where it was rumoured strange and mighty magic abided. Finding a glade by a small pond he stopped, and after helping the princess dismount stood back and watched as she danced around the glade, admiring everything.
Snow White was delighted with this shady little glade, dancing around and seeing the birds and the animals, even the very trees, reflecting her mood and seeming to dance with her. Then there was a change. The animals and birds fled as one, the flowers seemed to turn from her and the trees were now threatening. Startled she turned to Eric, to find him standing behind her with a knife.
"What's wrong, Eric?" she asked. "What is happening here?"
Eric looked at the innocent face looking appealingly to him. The princess had no concept of treachery, he realised. She'd trust him right up until he stuck the knife in, and even then she wouldn't understand. It just wasn't right that anyone should be that naive. He couldn't do it.
"You must run, Princess," Eric told her. "Run and hide in the forest, for Queen Ravenna means you ill. I'll carry word back to the castle that you died here, but if you ever come back to the castle you will die there. Aye, and so will I. So run, Princess, run!"
With that, the huntsman mounted and, seizing the reins of the princess's horse, turned to gallop into the forest.
Before he left he paused and told Snow White, "Remember, this is the magic forest. Be careful of what you agree to in here, because the forest will make you live up to your word." He rode off, leaving a stricken princess to her fate.
"Whatever happens, I didn't kill her," he told himself as he fled. "I've given her a chance."
Snow White stood there, watching Eric ride away. She'd known her step-mother didn't like her, but to plan to have her killed? How could she? Quite easily, she glumly acknowledged to herself. She's not a nice person.
Knowing that standing there doing nothing wouldn't help, and might even be dangerous if Eric had a change of heart and came hunting her, Snow White looked around the little glade. There was another path running even deeper into the forest and Snow White headed resolutely down it.
Eventually, she game to a little valley, and in the middle of the valley was a house. Snow White considered the situation and then realising she had no real choice in the matter, headed towards the little house. Maybe someone there would be able to help her.
As she neared the house, Snow White saw that it was quite a bit smaller than she had thought. The sizes were all wrong for a proper house. She knocked on the door and waited tentatively for someone to answer. Knocked again, and still no answer. Sighed to herself and decided to enter.
"It's a child's playhouse" she exclaimed, once she was inside. "This is so cute, little table and chairs, little cupboards, everything scaled down for children. I wonder where they are. Perhaps they'll come tomorrow to play. I'll spend the night here."
Looking around the house, the Princess frowned. Grubby little children she decided. The whole house needed a good clean. Well, her step-mother had always given her plenty of chores at the castle, so she knew how to do housework. Having nothing else to do she set to and began a good spring clean.
The dwarves were on their way home, disgruntled. They'd put in a hard days work at the mine and what did they have to show for it? Diamonds, that's what. What they wanted was good hard iron. You can make things with iron. Gold was good, too. Not as good as iron for making things but kind of pretty when you wanted to add a bit of decoration to an axe. And what were they stuck with? More diamonds. They now had a bleeding barn full of the shiny little stones, but what the hell could you do with them? They looked pretty, but they didn't carve worth shit. They heard that big folk wanted them, so maybe it would be worth taking some to town sometime and see. Might get a few bob for them.
Pushing open the door, Grotty stopped and stared. "What the fuck's happened here?" he yelled. "Somebody's cleaned the place up. Was someone's mother due today?"
The other dwarves crowded in around him, looking at the strange sight in awe. "Jeez," croaked Nosey, "They even cleaned the windows."
"OK," said Bob, "let's look around and see if anything's been nicked."
The dwarves separated checking out the house and then quickly responded to Grotty's call. "For fucks sake. Come and look at this, you guys."
The dwarves quickly gathered at the bedroom, looking in. All their beds had been pushed together and there was a person sleeping on their beds. A big folk type of person. Female, too.
"Nice tits on that one," observed Horny.
"Maybe so," said Bob, "but what's she doing here?"
"How the hell would I know?" said Horny. "Ask her."
Bob reached out and grabbed a foot and shook it. "Oy! Wake up," he yelled.
Snow White felt someone shaking her foot, and a voice calling. After all the housekeeping she had been quite tired and had decided to take a nap, thinking that the children wouldn't be back until next day. As the voice filtered though her sleep it slowly dawned on her that the children had come back. She opened her eyes and smiled at them. Then a little voice at the back of her mind said, "Those aren't children."
Bob and the rest watched with interest as the woman screamed and scrambled up to the end of the bed, using her skirt to try and hide the sight of them. "Nice legs," said Biggun. "Nice pussy, too."
Hearing the comments a red-faced Snow White hastily lowered her skirt again. "Go away," she quavered. "You're not children, you're little people. Go away. Don't hurt me."
"Hey," said Bob indignantly. "Why should we go away. This is out house. You're the intruder."
"Hey, Bob," said Smelly, "Can we keep her. She's cleaned the place up real nice. We can use her for a housekeeper, among other things,"
"We don't need a housekeeper," snarled Nosey. "Just kick her out into the forest and let her go back where she came from."
"Your turn to do the cooking, remember," interrupted Randy. "And we could use some other things, too."
"Cool it, you lot," snapped Bob. "Let's see if we can get the idiot to talk instead of babbling."
As Snow White watched, the little people stopped talking amongst themselves and the one who'd been shaking her foot turned and smiled at her. She hoped it was a smile. Maybe he was getting ready to bite her. She pressed herself harder into the corner.
"Hullo, I'm Bob," said Bob in a soothing voice. "I'm a dwarf and this is my house. Who are you?"
"Bob? What sort of name was that for a dwarf?" Snow White thought.
"I-I'm Snow White," Snow White said nervously. "I'm a princess. My mother wants to kill me so I had to run away."
Bob turned and looked at the other dwarves. "Cor," he muttered. "We've got a right nutter here, but she sure can clean, can't she."
"And do other things," murmured Grotty.
"Well hands up if you want me to ask her to stay and clean and do other things" said Bob, putting up his own hand and watching as six other hands joined his. "OK. I'll ask, but you know the rules about asking for the other thing."
"We know. We know. It's not fair, but we'll do it and let her decide," snarled Biggun.
"All right, Princess Snow White," said Bob with a smirk. "Here's the deal. You need a place to hide from your mother and we need a housekeeper. You can stay here and we'll guard you, but in return you have to cook and do the housework. And other things" he added hastily.
Snow White looked nervously at the little men standing before her. She could cook and clean but what did they mean by the other thing? She'd heard them mention it several times now. "What does 'other things' cover?" she asked.
"Oh, little things like laundry, gardening, milk the goat, fetch the chicken eggs, fuck. Little things like that," said Bob, talking very fast.
"Ah, what was that last item on the list?' asked Snow White sharply.
The dwarves seemed to give a collective sigh. "OK. You got us. We have to follow the rules before you can give us an answer on that last item."
