"Mmmnnnnnn."
I hated how groggy napping made me feel afterward. That was probably part of the reason why I rarely did it. But my partner had been fussing over me so much with how weird and dizzy I'd been feeling all day, I decided to go along with his suggestion.
I opened my eyes into blackness. Did I sleep that long? I started reaching for the light switch and realized it was so dark because the covers were completely over me. I reached up to yank down the top edge, but I couldn't find it. Couldn't feel any of the edges, in fact.
Okay, what the hell have I been doing in my sleep that I've messed up the blankets so badly?
"Honey?" My partner's voice, in a strangely loud whisper. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," I mumbled, getting irritated that I couldn't untangle myself. "Was I doing gymnastics in my sleep or something? Help get this blanket off of me."
"I just... I just don't want you to panic. Because... something happened. I... I don't know how-"
"Oh God, did work call again?" I gave up and tried sitting up, swinging my legs off the bed, only to be met with... more bed?
What the? Had I rolled onto his side? I swung my legs in the other direction. Still more bed.
"Sweetie, please calm down," he said, probably watching my movements. Why the hell wasn't he helping me untangle myself? "I don't want you to hurt yourself and I don't want you to get scared."
Scared?
"You've just... You've gotten a little- argh, bad choice of words. You've gotten... smaller."
Smaller?
"What do you mean, smaller?" I asked.
"Okay, I'm going to take the sheets off so you can see. I just... I didn't want you to panic when you first woke up."
I felt the sheets come off of me, and my eyes slammed shut against the light. Cool, fresh air rushed to me, and I could breathe a little better than under that stuffy blanket. After a moment I was able to force my eyes open and slowly adjust to the light.
And I was convinced I was still dreaming. Or at least half asleep, something to distort my vision.
The distances and proportions of everything were all off. My nightstand looked like it was 50 yards away, at the end of which was a monolith shaped like the glasses we kept in our cabinet. Before me were frozen ocean waves, unmoving and the same soft green color as the bed. The bed, which seemed to stretch out in all directions, until...
I may have screamed, I don't remember. I wasn't paying attention to much once I saw the 3-story facsimile of my partner kneeling beside me.
"Wha-? Wha-?" I was feeling dizzy again, the fresh air seemed to have gone away.
"Shhhhhhhh..." He reached out his hand toward me, probably meant in a comforting way. I backed away instinctively, it looked like a semi was barreling toward me. He stopped and put his hand on the bed, looking at me, worried.
"What happened?" I managed to spit out.
"I told you, I don't know," he said in that same loud whisper, which I now realized was probably so he didn't blast my eardrums out. "I came in to get something off the computer and found you like this. I didn't even see you at first, I thought you had woken up and gone to the store or something..."
I was trying very hard to keep breathing regularly- no, to keep breathing at all. For whatever reason I picked then to try to stand, and between the uneven surface of the mattress and the dizziness from hyperventilating, I immediately fell backward.
"Careful!" he almost shouted, reaching out a hand again to catch me from behind. The width of his hand came up past my waist, easily cradling me, and I partly recoiled, though also wanting to cling to the comforting touch. Because damnit, SOMETHING needed to comfort me right now.
"Honey, honey..." he tried to soothe. I think he could tell, even from that high up, how much I was freaking out. I could feel him cup his hand underneath me, and then suddenly I was on an elevator. Outright panic took over as I scrambled for anything to hold on to. "Honey," he said, looking at me though I couldn't bear to look him in the face, it was too overwhelming. "I've got you, I'm not going to drop you. Just come here."
He moved me until I was held by both hands, pressed against his shirt. My feet had slipped out so that they were exposed to the air, but he had made it so the rest of me was encased. So my senses wouldn't get overloaded. The only other things I could feel where his hands, the fabric of his t-shirt, and what I realized was his heartbeat underneath me. That heartbeat that I had listened to so many times before while lying on his chest.
My breathing started to become more regular. I started to relax a little, at least as much as I could under the circumstances.
He held me like that for a little while longer, then whispered, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, okay?" I let words work their way into me, and then slowly nodded so that he could feel the movement in his hands. "I'm going to pull you away now, okay?" I nodded again. I felt his hands shift again so that they were underneath me now, moving away from that chest and the heartbeat that had been keeping me calm. I tried to maintain that calm feeling; his hands had stopped moving, and I could feel his face above me, watching me. I forced myself to look up, to not be afraid, and...
That face. That beautiful face. Smiling down at me. He looked more careworn than usual, whether it was from my situation or the amount of detail I could now see, I wasn't sure. But I loved it when I could pick out those details about him, when he let down his guard for just a minute...
"Hi beautiful," he said.
I could have just melted into him at that.
"You know," he said, smirking a little bit, "I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now, but you are quite cute this way."
The melting was immediately replaced with annoyance.
"I mean it!" he said, laughing; he seemed to feel better now that I wasn't having a panic attack anymore. "You're so cute and tiny and adorable-"
"Excuse you, I am a fierce, strong businesswoman, who-"
"Tiny and adorable," he said, grinning.
"I'm going to kick your ass."
"Oh, really?" he said, smile getting bigger. His thumb moved and the next thing I knew I was pinned. "How are you going to do that when you can't even get up?" he teased. I was yelling at him to let me up, but he thought the whole thing was hysterical. "How are you going to do that when you're so helpless you can't...move..."
He trailed off and released his grip on me. I barely noticed the change in his tone, just focusing on getting upright again. I looked up to half-glare at him, and noticed the look on his face had changed, too. He was half staring at me, half looking lost in his thoughts.
"Will you do me a favor?" he asked, still looking half in a dream. "Take those pajamas off."
THAT was the look.
"Wha- Are you fucking insane?" I yelled.
"It's just... I just had the thought... you usually like submissive stuff, and with this... you literally don't have control of anything... you're just... small and helpless..."
He was verbally salivating as he said the words. The problem was, he was right. I was completely helpless like this, and once he pointed that out, I had other parts of me I had to fight with.
"What exactly do you think we can do when I'm like this?" I asked, trying to get the logical part of my mind to win out.
"That's what I want to find out," he said, the hunger escaping his voice.
Even the logical side of me started to whimper inside.