Yeah... big sorry for how long this one has taken to anyone left wondering. Here now anyway.
Okay, so this is where a gets a bit controversial. There's a bit more stuff based explicitly round religion in here, but this is meant to be erotica, and it's not meant to poke fun or criticise any religious points of view. That said, if you feel you might be offended by it, just don't read on.
Also, goo girls ahoy!
*
"What, I want to know is, what are the police going to do about it?" demanded the pensioner.
"I... I'm sorry?" stammered Ted, as he tried to keep up with her fast-paced and repetitive torrents of meaningless soundbites.
"This urine!" she snapped, pointing to the damp spot in the ceiling. "I'm 75 and I manage to restrain myself from peeing on the floor!"
"Well, I mean, I think this is more an issue for the housing authority, Mrs Mee. "If that's a toilet up there, it's their job to repair it. Have you rung them yet?"
"The council have been useless. Absolutely useless... What I want to know is... what on earth's that?" she distractedly interrupted herself as she peered over Ted's notepad.
"Er, shorthand. It helps me keep up with you," Ted said, the stench of urine beginning to get the better of him.
"I don't know how you read it, love..." she muttered. "Now, this damp patch..."
Ten agonising minutes later, Ted stumbled out of the house, almost gagging from the assault on his nostrils. No sooner had he cleared the door however, then he hit a torrential downpour of rain. He cursed under his breath, before turning and forcing a smile as he waved goodbye to the slightly senile Mrs Mee.
Getting back to the cramped offices of the Copwith Courier, Ted saw that most of the staff had buggered off to lunch without waiting for his return. Only his fellow reporter Kate remained, frow burrowed as she spoke on the phone about what looked to be a strong lead story involving a looming overspend on the district council. Bloody Councillor Jones he thought. He gives her all the inside scoops and it's blatantly not because he views her as a force for democracy. Bloody tips for tits.
Resigning himself to working through what little material he already had, Ted sat down and began typing. He'd eat once the demented pensioner had been written down and dealt with.
Five minutes in and the phone rang. It could be something interesting for a change or it could be someone calling for the pizzeria again. Probably the latter he thought bitterly.
"Newsroom," he said, in his customary greeting.
"Hello... newsroom," replied a woman's voice that sumptuously dripped like honey.
Ted sat forward in his seat.
"I've got a story for the paper," she continued.
"Oh... what-what kind of story?" struggled Ted.
"It's about Copwith Manor. I know your paper has been trying to cover it for a while now, sending reporters round there to find out what's going on. "Ted Wilson, is it? He's been there a few times."
"Um, yes. Sorry, that's me. I'm Ted."
"Hi Ted..." the woman said, with a hint of amusement and coquettishness. "I'm the head of a Copwith woman's group -- you won't have heard of us - and we recently bought the property to use as a community venue. I could show you round if you like -- we're all here today... right now."
Ted's brow furrowed -- he'd not seen any planning documents that would support these claims, but he was curious to meet this mystery woman. She sounded like no local society chairman he'd ever spoken to.
"I'll be there in half an hour."
***
Half an hour later, and drenched from the persistent rain, Ted knocked on the heavy wooden door at the front of Copwith Manor.
When it was slowly opened, he subconsciously moved his head to get a look at just who was behind it.
In front of him was a girl who couldn't have been more than 20 years old. Her body was petite, with a delicate frame, slender limbs and a dainty head. Sleek black hair was neatly tied behind her head and youthful brown eyes widened as she took him in.
Hers weren't the only ones. Ted openly stared as he gave her the once-over -- she was dressed in a French maid's outfit. The black and white frilly get-up started with her skirt and moved up into a figure-hugging number round her chest, which was only the part of her that wasn't dainty. Indeed, it nearly spilled out of the tight outfit containing it. Dark tights hugged her legs, before ending as garters at her thighs. A frilly headband rested on her hair.
"Er...I..." he began.
"You must be Ted," beamed the maid. "The lady of the house has been expecting you.
"This way please."
The girl turned round and sauntered down the hall, her backside wiggling just a bit
too
much as she did. Ted followed her in and absently let the door close behind him.
Inside lay a cavernous entrance hall coated in oak panelling and bearing a large staircase in its centre, which forked out to coat the walls and lead into first floor rooms at each side. They soon arrived at a truly majestic lounge -- inside large framed paintings of former ladies of the house hung from the walls, a large mahogany piano rested to the side of the entrance corner and ahead of Ted, two long sofas faced an open fire.
On opposite ends of one of the sofas sat two thirty-something women, dressed in figure-hugging lace mini dresses. One, a copper-haired beauty with peachy skin, filled out the chest of her dress with a pair of breasts that couldn't have been smaller than a double-G that gently quivered as she leaned forward to get a closer look at Ted. The other, an elegant Asian woman with jet black hair that curved inwards beneath her chin, well-plucked eyebrows and large, rounded hips, sat with her back to him, effectively demonstrating the curves of her derriere, as she glanced over her shoulder at him. Both women had flawlessly smooth, creamy skin, with glossy, healthy-looking hair.
In front of them sat a coffee table overloaded with platters bearing a hearty feast -- an assortment of meats, including an entire roast chicken, as well as assorted vegetables lay next to dishes with sweets and candied fruits. Delectable smells wafted over and tempted Ted's nostrils.
Standing on the other side of the table opposite the two women, stood a woman in her late thirties dressed in an sleek but patternless black lace evening dress. Straight black hair fell down to the top of her shoulder blades and draped down her shoulders. A parting in the skirt of her dress hinted at long, sleek thighs while her chest, though not as large as the redhead's, must have ventured into double-E territory.
Ted thought of Mrs Mee's piss-stained ceiling as he tried to discourage his boner, and tried not to dwell on the distinct impression he'd come underdressed.
"Ah, you must be Ted!" cooed the woman. "I'm Bella, Bella Black, we spoke on the phone."
"Oh, er right, yes of course."
"Oh my, you look soaked! Here, take off your jacket and hang it on the coat rack in the corner there."
Looking behind him, Ted saw a wooden rack by the door, and he wandered over to hang the sodden rag of a free peg. While there, he pulled off his tie, which had begun to irritate him as the damp fabric rubbed against his collar.
"We were just about to have a spot of luncheon. If you aren't full, we'd love you to join us."
"Actually, I've not eaten yet as it happens."
"Oh you poor thing, you must be starved!" cried Bella. "Here, have a seat between Stacy and Suki. You should be nice and warm there."
Stacy and Suki certainly looked warm enough, given that they weren't covered in goose pimples in such scant get-ups.
Ted nervously wandered over and sat down stiffly between the two. The sofa clearly was a large two-seater, but not large enough to give much personal space for three occupants. As he sat down, Ted noticed the area was very warm, and he became aware of hints of a sweetly spicy aroma wafting towards him.
"Please, do eat up," offered Bella as she sat on the sofa opposite him. Stacy and Suki both leaned forward to pick up some unusually shaped nuggets of white meat, coated in a red sauce.
Stacy passed Ted some of hers and he quickly gobbled it up. It was spicy, though it didn't ring true with the scent pervading his nostrils. It was however delicious, and when Suki passed him another chunk, he greedily wolfed it down without questioning what it was he was eating.
As he sat back for a second to reflect on the taste, he noticed that already his shirt -- which had been spared most of the rain by his jacket -- was already mostly dry.
He looked round to see what Stacy and Suki had opted for next, and was surprised to see them both gazing intently at him.