Shaza's Tears

Chapter 4

Mehkel

Let me fucking tell you, the native alcohol on this planet is the strongest shit I've ever had in my life. It tastes like dirt, but damn does it get the job done. I'm going to have to stock up on this... Shaz... Shaz'kajar? Whatever. I'm gonna have to stock up on this Shaz'ka-knock-me-on-my-fucking-ass when we leave this blue sand box.

I slam my glass on the bar and smile at the pretty bartender. She's one of the Shaza natives, and I have to say she's pretty attractive. That dark... What fucking color did Zaroi call it? Burgundy, I think? Yeah, that's it. That dark burgundy skin looks like the Saukaberry chocolate balls they sell on Nakinta, and I've been fantasizing about running my tongue all over it since I walked into this joint.

Then there's that thick mop of bronze curls covering her head. And those eyes... They're the same color as the sand that covers their planet, but damn, when I look into them I imagine the glassy ice caps that used to cover Ztar. I take a peak in her head as she glances over at me from beneath that canopy of eyelashes and I smile.

Oh yeah, she wants me.

"Hey sweetheart, wanna take a tour of my star ship? its not much but... You know what they about the size of the ship, right?" I wiggle my eyebrows at her and she giggles in a positively addicting manner, "One more shot, princess. I've decided the room isn't spinning fast enough for my liking,"

"Shin

Mehkel

," she murmurs in a seductive whisper as she saunters over to where I'm sitting, "don't you think you've had enough? I'd hate to walk you to your ship and discover that you can't...

You

know,"

"Oh, I definitely

know

," I laugh, and lean over the bar as I hook my finger under her chin and pull her closer so I can whisper in her ear, "I also know you've been fantasizing about my cock for the last two hours. And yes, its as big as you hope it is,"

I didn't think someone as dark as her was capable of blushing, but she was certainly blushing now, and the deep purple tint made her eyes brighter than before, if that's even possible. I tune in as her brain runs through the same thought process anyone else does when they discover I can read minds.

He can actually read my thoughts? Is it just the thought I'm thinking now? or can he read everything? Can he read my memories too? What if... What if he can tamper with them? Is that even possible?

"Yes, no, yes, yes, and yes," I reply, and her eyes widen as she refocuses her attention on me, "don't worry sugar, your secrets are safe with me,"

She brings forth a nice little snippet of the bath she took this morning and my cock immediately stands to attention. Oh, she's a naughty little slut, isn't she? I smile even wider as she winks at me and turns her attention to the Kheloran sitting at the other side of the bar. He turns his emerald cat eyes to me and grins.

Lucky bastard. She won't even give me a second look. Maybe its the ears, I don't know.

Nah, she's just intimidated by you. If she wasn't so distracted with me you might have a chance with her. She is in love with your eyes.

Really?

Yeah. She's just scared you're more animal than humanoid. You just gotta show her that's not necessarily a bad thing.

I wink at him and he shakes his head with a wry grin before turning his attention back to his drink. I've found that most of the people here don't give two shits about my abilities. In fact, they all more or less treat me like some circus show with their wide eyes and curious thoughts. its a relieving change to the typical reactions, but who knows. Maybe my people skills are just getting better. Or maybe living here has given them a better perceptive on prejudism. My com beeps and I look down at the restricted number.

Fuck you, mystery man. I'm not in the mood for a game of guess who.

I set my interface to only send through calls from Zaroi, and turn my attention back to the new drink that has been set in front of me. I turn to my left to spy the culprit, and find myself face to face with a young man hidden behind a shawl. No... Wait. A woman. Her mind is like rubber, and I find it a bit difficult to push through.

Interesting.

"Hello darling. You must be mighty hot in that cocoon of fabric you're wearing,"

She nods in assent and sits on the bench beside me. I try to push through again, and I succeed. I watch her flinch and I raise my eyebrows in question. She can sense me? I brush her mind again and find more barriers. I can only access her current thoughts, and I frown. She's nervous, and I'm getting the feeling she isn't supposed to be here.

Tell me, sugar. Where'd you learn to block me out like that?

No learning, just knowing.

You can trust me, sweetheart. Whatever's going on... I can help you. Just let me in.

No.

I brush my mind against the barriers again, feeling them out for weaknesses. With a bit of finesse, I slip through one and access her native language so I can communicate easier. She shivers at the sensation, and I calm her nerves with a mental caress. She's terrified, but she is determined to finish something. I can't tell what yet. I take a few moments to process her language before I try to speak to her again.

Talk to me, Little one. Why are you here?

The Orahkan. I must speak with him. You are his friend, yes?

I am. Whatever you need to tell him, you can tell me.

No. Only him. No one else.

I slip past another barrier and access her senses. I'm immediately shocked by the fact that she is completely blind. Her other senses are heightened, including the control she has over her mind.

Very

interesting. Maybe she was born blind? I want to find out, so I push against her memories, but she lets go of all the other barriers to focus on keeping me out of them. I use the opening to flood the rest of her mind and she stiffens in fear. I latch on to her nervous system and help her relax. She tries to push me out, but now that I've familiarized myself with her neurotransmitters and their electrical patterns, she has no way of resisting me. I sort through her storage of thoughts to discover what I'm looking for.

Relax, sweetheart. I'm not going to hurt you.

Get out of my head!

Not happening.

I continue to read the thoughts and frown. They are fragmented and broken, and I'm surprised she is still able to hide some of them from me. I dig a little deeper, but all I can find is something about the Tears being alive, and blood of the Shadow... Whatever the fuck that means. And then, out of nowhere, a sharp pain shatters my control over her and she shuts me out again.

I have never, in my entire fucking life, been shoved out of someone's mind before. My head is pounding too hard to do anything but try to stay upright as she flees from the bar. One thing I was able to get from her before she locked me out was her name, and I hold onto it like my life depends on it.

Nejua. What a name. Shit, what a woman.

I take the shot sitting in front of me, and set my focus on repairing the damage that was done to my own mind. Getting yanked out of someone's brain like that can be dangerous for both people involved, since it can disrupt the flow of energy the neurons are emitting. It can even result in memory loss, so its always better to work my way out slowly, as to avoid hurting either of us. What she did was pretty dangerous, but luckily there wasn't any lasting damage on my side... And since she seemed fully capable of running away, it must not have done much to affect her either. Damn that girl knocked me on my ass better than any alcohol could, and I admit I'm already addicted to her. What can I say? I'm a masochist.

She'll be back, and when she comes around again...

"Shin Mehkel, are you alright?"

"Oh yeah, don't mind me, darling. Just a little headache. It will be gone in no time... Perks of being mentally superior and all that," I grin up at her as her features relax from the worried expression she was wearing. I lean over the bar and nibble on her earlobe, smiling to myself as she shivers from the contact, "when is your shift over, baby? I'm

dying

to see if your pussy is as pretty as you are,"

She gasps at my brazen words and giggles again as I place a few kisses down the side of her neck. I'm positive that everyone in the bar hates me right now, but fuck it. I haven't gotten laid since we left Coren three weeks ago, and I'm dying to find out what these Shazarine girls are like in the sack. I put the mysterious blind girl on the back burner to sort out later. Right now, Shazarine pussy is my first priority.

"I'm off in ten minutes," she whispers in my ear, and I give her a shit eating grin as I relax back into my seat, "will you wait for me?"

"What do you think I've been doing for the last three hours?"

"You've only been here for three hours!"

"Exactly my point," I growl and she giggles again, "The moment I set eyes on you, I've been waiting to take you home,"

"Home?" she seems thoroughly confused, and I try not to get irritated at her inevitable response. its not her fault I don't have a home planet anymore, so I glue a grin on my face and wait for it, "but I thought you are just visiting here. Isn't your home planet somewhere else?"

"My ship is my home, sugar,"

I don't have a home planet

, I want to say, but I shove the bitter thought aside, "I'm a nomad, baby. All I need is my ship and my captain,"

"Oh, I see," she registers my response with the naivety of someone who doesn't know the history of my people, and I let out a breath of relief. No aggravating pity to deal with, thank the stars, "it must be so exciting, traveling all over the galaxy like you do. I'd love to see some of the other planets I've been reading about on my interface,"

"Oh yeah, there are things out there you couldn't even imagine," I reply with a smile, and I continue to watch her work while I wait for her shift to be over. Just watching her in action is arousing, and by the time she's ready to go, I'm pretty fucking turned on. So I lead her out the door, half stumbling, half walking, and she's clutching my hand and giggling like a little school girl, her hand clasped over her mouth in a way that makes me think she was teased about her smile as a kid. I don't know why, but that really pisses me off, so I spin around and catch her shoulders in my hands. She looks a little shocked at the abrupt change in momentum, but blushes again when I take the hand she's hiding behind and bring it to my lips.

"Don't

ever

hide your smile, okay? You're beautiful," I tell her, and her eyes go wide like I just discovered one of her deepest secrets. I can see Tears forming at the corners of her eyes, so I just kiss her nose in a playful manner and tell her she's beautiful again. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pull her against my side as we walk. I can feel her curl against me, and it almost makes me regret what I said.

Don't get me wrong. its not that I regret making her feel better about herself. its just that... Well, she shouldn't fall in love with someone like me, and I can tell that's what she's doing. I tune into her thoughts and frown. Yeah, she's romanticizing me in her mind, and it makes me hate myself a little more than I already did before. I press my lips against her temple and she leans into the contact like a puppy starved for attention.

Fuck, I shouldn't be going through with this.

As much as my moral compass is directing me away from sex with this girl... I can't seem to make my body agree. Fuck man, I am not a good person, I know that about myself. I know I'm a fucking prick, and sometimes I just wish I had the fortitude to change it. But I don't, and eighty percent of the time I don't give two shits about it. But the other twenty, like right now for instance, reminds me just how much of a fucking loser I am. I should be letting her down easy, I should be sending her home with a well practiced "you deserve better than me" speech, but my dick has other plans so I just keep my mouth shut and continue walking, hoping she doesn't fall too hard because I don't have what it takes to catch all her broken pieces and put them back together again. I'm just not that kind of guy, and I never will be.

We reach my little ship, and I smile to myself at her reaction. Of course, it doesn't matter that

Starsail

is about as small as a two story house. To her, its still magnificent. I activate the ramp and main entrance with my portable interface, and grin a stupid fucking grin when she gasps in excitement. Tomorrow I'll just be another prick she's going to regret, but tonight I'm gonna make sure she has one hell of a memento of our time together. I lead her up the ramp and the moment the door shuts again I push her against the wall and kiss her like we've been lovers for years. My hands roam her body in a desperate way, and all thoughts of sending her home go right out the window, along with any self control I may have been holding onto before we got here.

And then I'm being yanked back against the other wall, and the girl is screaming like I'm being eaten alive or something. A knife presses against my throat and I sigh. Really? Someone has to test me,

now

of all the fucking times? The Shazarine girl is clawing at the wall where the door used to be, and I activate the entrance to let her out. She scrambles away and stumbles down the ramp, screaming like the devil is on her tail, and I shut the door again before addressing the person behind me.

"You just fucking cock-blocked me, and I have to say I'm not happy in the least," I close my eyes and focus on invading his... No,

her

mind, and my eyebrows raise in surprise, "Nejua?"

Remembering the blind girls name somehow makes me feel even worse, because I realize that I never knew the bartenders name. Why didn't I care enough to remember her name? Because she wasn't interesting enough? The knife at my throat brings me back to my current situation, and I think about a way to stall her while I reach out and access her motor control. She seems to be hesitating about something. She's afraid, but angry, and I have a feeling she doesn't want me poking around in her head again. She shivers as I caress her mind and presses the dagger closer to my throat in a warning. The blade is sharp enough that I can feel a small drop of blood run down my neck from the slight contact.

"You know, sweetheart, I'd be a little more intimidated if you were holding the knife the right way," I bluff, and listen in as she second guesses her self, readjusting her grip on the handle in an attempt to check her hold on it. I use the moment to reach up and break her grip on the blade, and it clatters to the ground as I spin around and pin her to the wall with my forearm across her chest. I knock the air out of her, and she huffs in a frightened attempt to catch her breath. her shawl falls from her face during the scuffle, and I'm entranced by what I discover. Her hair is whiter than mine, and her skin is a soft lavender color. The most striking feature is her bright crimson irises, which, coupled with her blindness, leads me to believe that her species evolved to survive in a dark environment. She has an extremely fair face, and I decide with a smirk that her lips are very kissable. While she's still distracted, I push through her control and disable all movement from the neck down. She shrieks in terror as I catch her limp body in my arms and lift her off of the ground.

"What did you do to me!"

"Relax, honey. It isn't permanent," I explain, and she shakes her head and tries to push me out of her head again, "you don't want to do that, doll. You could end up paralyzed for real,"

"You said it isn't permanent!" she cries in anguish as I carry her to my room and lay her down on my bed.

"It isn't, as long as I'm able to reverse it," I reply, and I'm honestly a little proud of myself for coming up with this plan, "if you shove me out of your head like you did last time, it might cause permanent damage,"

She begins hyperventilating, and I brush my fingers across her cheek as I infiltrate her brain again. She stiffens, and then begins to cry in a very heart wrenching manner. Fuck this is killing me, but the girl has left me no choice! She broke into the ship and tried to kill me, and I'm not about to just let her off easy.

Well fuck... Maybe I am a little. I mean, I can't bring myself to hurt her, so even though I have all the rights to shove myself into her consciousness and figure out why the fuck she's here, I still find myself tip toeing my way through her synapse as I familiarize myself with her neuron's electrical patterns. After a few moments of immersing myself in her mind, I realize that the connection is somehow... Addicting. its drawing me in, and I find myself having to fight against the desire to connect entirely to her core as I break down her defenses. The sections I've been in before are easy to reach, but she still continues to hold onto her thoughts and memories with the stubborn fear of a cornered animal.

Let me in.

No!

I don't want to hurt you.

She shudders again as I push against this last barrier with everything I have. I coil around it, seeking out kinks in the armor. I can feel her strength waning from the strenuous fight she's putting up, so I begin to lull her into a state of sedation. I've found the easiest way to put someone to sleep without damaging them is to trick their circadian rhythm, while simultaneously influencing the influx of hormones like melatonin. its less harmful, but its a long process, and I typically don't use it since most of the people I put to sleep need to go down quickly. The more abrasive method is to shock the recticulor neurons in order to produce a coma like reaction... But in this case I have the time, so I caress her mind with my aura as I pull her to sleep, while simultaneously focusing on snaking my way past this mental wall she has up. I don't know how she's doing it, but even as she loses consciousness, she is keeping an iron grip on her damn control.

I swear I'm trying my damned best to be as gentle as I can but her stubbornness has backed me into a corner. I continue to cocoon the barrier, waiting until she's fully asleep before I work through the holes. At least when she's unconscious, she can't match my prodding with her defenses, so once I find an opening, I'm able to break past it. I dig into my prize with a carnal greed... And groan in frustration when I find yet another barrier. As I start rummaging angrily through what I have access to, I come to a shocked halt when I discover her dreams.

In every single dream, she can see someone. I know from what I've found that she was born completely blind... So the fact that she's actually seeing images in her mind while she dreams intrigues the fuck out of me. Every dream I sift through, the figure becomes more clear... And when I settle into the dream she's currently having, I let out a shocked gasp at the person staring back at me.

She's dreaming of me. She's never seen a damn thing in her life, but somehow she's dreaming of me, and she has been her entire life. I see myself reflected in her mind as clearly as if I was looking into a mirror, and suddenly I have to know why... So I spend the next four hours looking through all of her memories and thoughts so I can figure it out.