I overheard Mr. Hanson telling Mr. Jensvold, "Life in America will never be the same."
Mr. Jensvold replied, "It hasn't been for a long time, but no one has noticed. The idiot people are more interested in staring down at their iphones or watching 'American Idol' than paying attention to what the corporations are doing to them...they had this planned a long time ago, and anyone with common sense could see that corporate greed was going to ruin this country."
I fought the urge to get in Mr. Jensvold's face to tell him it was American workers who were the greedy ones. I wanted to educate him about the 'job creators' and how unions made business so unprofitable the corporations were forced to outsource millions of jobs overseas just to make a profit.
I wanted to let him know that government regulations and high taxes were the cause of the massive unemployment that was sweeping across America.
I had graduated from high school only a month earlier, and those were the last facts I was taught in my 'Responsible Government' class. If anyone were to be blamed for the economic crisis, it was lazy and greedy workers, and a socialist government that doled-out free money to the 'takers' at the expense of the 'makers'.
My mother was talking with Mr. Barnhouse, my father's boss. I waited until he walked away.
My mother's face was white as a sheet as I approached her. Her eyes were puffy and red. Her hands were trembling; some of the coffee she was drinking spilled onto the floor.
"What's wrong, mom? Are you alright – you don't look so good," I said. She really did look sick.
She appeared to be in shock; her eyes glazed over, staring into space.
"Oh my God – Oh my God – Oh my God...." she mumbled over and over.
Now I was scared. She'd never acted like this my entire life.
"Mother – what is it? What is wrong?" I asked in a slightly panicked voice.
"Johnny, oh my God – we have no money – we're broke – we can't even pay for your father's funeral – thank God Mr. Barnhouse said the company would pay for this reception – I don't know what to do...."
"Mom," I said, "please, calm down, we have dad's pension and his life insurance policy."
When she stared into my eyes I saw unbridled and abject fear. I knew something was terribly wrong. The hair on my neck stood straight.
"Some financial investors from back east bought the factory...Mr. Barnhouse just told me they declared bankruptcy – they canceled everyone's pension – they took all the money for themselves."
I was stunned. "They can't do that – people worked their whole lives there with the promise of a decent retirement."
"That's what I said to Mr. Barnhouse. He said the Supreme Court approved it – first they recognized corporations as people and a few weeks ago they ruled since corporations were people, they were entitled to the same bankruptcy laws as everyone else – they can legally wipe out all their debts, including pensions...."
Something isn't right, I thought. I never read about this in the newspaper or saw it on Fox News.
"What about dad's life insurance? That'll help us get by for a while, won't it?" I asked her softly.
She slowly shook her head as tears flooded her eyes. Now I was truly frightened.
"Sweetie, I didn't tell you the truth – I didn't want you to know...." she whispered to me. She saw the look in my eyes and continued: "Your father didn't have a heart attack at work...."
"Huh? What happened? How did he – you know...." I asked.
She lowered her eyes as she spoke. "He was laid-off at work...that same afternoon Mr. Hack, your dad's financial guy, told him his investments were worthless, that the junk bond market had crashed and it wiped him out...."
I stared at her in disbelief. Why hadn't I known about this before?
She continued in a monotone voice, with a dead expression on her face.
"The next day he went to the factory and confronted Mr. Barnhouse...Lonnie, I mean Mr. Barnhouse told him about the financial investors and his pension...your father went out to the car, sat in the front seat, put the forty-four to his head and pulled the trigger...the insurance company won't pay for a suicide."
The image of my father in the front seat of the car filled my head. He was such a strong and forceful man, for him to do something like that he must have been in a very deep and dark place. Crushing waves of sadness swept over my body.
"How come I never heard about that?" I asked.
"Lonnie, I mean Mr. Barnhouse kept everything very quiet – he didn't want us to be humiliated – he's been a very good friend to us."
She stared into my eyes once again and said, "Sweetheart, we have no money."
"What about the house? You could sell the house!" I said with a glimmer of hope in my voice.
"We haven't owned the house in quite some time...when they cut your father's wages at the factory, we couldn't afford the payments anymore. He made a deal with Mr. Bagley at the bank to pay rent so we could still live here...we can't afford next month's rent."
"Mom," I said, "go ahead and use my college money – I'll keep my job and give you my paycheck to help out with the bills. I can wait a year or two before I go to school."
She didn't have to say a word. I saw tears of shame in her eyes. They had already gone through my college money.
Then she said softly: "Please don't tell your sisters about this – I don't want them to be scared...we'll get by - I'll figure out something...."
She left me standing in the middle of the room.
Suddenly, the light around me became so bright I was blinded. The conversations in the room were so loud I wanted to clamp my hands over my ears and shut out the noise.
My hands began trembling. It quickly spread to my arms and legs then my whole body was shaking. Intense fear had me in its hold and it shook me like a rag doll. I was scared out of my mind.
This had to be a dream. One person's life couldn't change this drastically over the course of a few minutes.
"Johnny?" I heard a female voice. "Johnny, are you okay?"
My eyes slowly began to focus. My shaking suddenly stopped.
My girlfriend Sarah was standing before me. My sweet, sweet Sarah; her beautiful face looked positively angelic to me.
"Oh...'hi'," I said.
She took my hands in hers.
"You don't look so well – do you want to lie down?" she asked in her melodic voice.
I saw the concern in her eyes and my heart melted. I loved her more at that moment than I ever had.
"I'll be fine – I'm alright now," I said.
I saw tears form in her deep blue eyes.
"Johnny, I'm so, so sorry," she said then threw her arms around me and held me tight.
I wanted to cry, too, but I didn't. I was now the man of the family. Men don't cry.
"Thank you, I know you are...." I said softly.
"Would you take me home? My parents aren't ready to leave yet and all these old people are making me uncomfortable," she asked.
"Of course I will," I replied. I took her hand and led her towards the front door.
I stopped and looked around and saw my mother talking with the banker, Mr. Bagley.
"I better tell her where I'm going," I said to Sarah.
As I got nearer to them I heard her say: "...isn't there something else I could do? Don't you have a job for me at the bank?"
My heart swelled with pride. On the most difficult day of her life she was more concerned about providing for her family than the pain I knew she was feeling.
What I hadn't heard was Mr. Bagley's comment to her before I walked up to them.
He'd said: "Mrs. Strong, I believe you were only sixteen when you married Jeffrey and your son was born...you never even finished high school...what are you qualified to do? Mrs. Strong - Judith, you're still young and a very desirable woman...come to my office tomorrow, I think we can work out some sort of an arrangement so I don't have to evict you and your children from this house...and wear a dress – I don't care for women in slacks."
"Mom," I said, interrupting them. "I'm going to take Sarah home, okay?"
Her face slightly reddened then she said, "OH - yes, of course, dear."
I turned to leave and Mr. Blank, the owner of the supermarket where I work was standing in my way.
"Son," he said. "I'm very sorry for your loss."
"Thank you, Mr. Blank," I responded.
"John, come to work a little early tomorrow – there is something we need to discuss."
I felt uneasy when I heard his serious tone of voice.
"Ah, yeah, sure, Mr. Blank," I said.
When Sarah and I went out into the darkness it was like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I took a deep breath of the warm night air, took Sarah in my arms and kissed her.
"What was that for?" she asked with a smile.
"For being you," I said, and kissed her again.
She sat next to me in my '98 Pontiac Sunbird. I felt better; I always did when she was with me.
"Johnny," she sang my name. "Can we stop at the park before you take me home?"
My penis suddenly twitched inside my briefs. I knew what 'stopping at the park' meant.
When I parked the car, we walked thru the trees into the park and found a thick patch of grass to lie on. We lay on our sides facing each other.