The two most read stories in the newspapers involved two scandals. The biggest headline concerned the massive discovery of The Colony and the near solving of the murders of several people from years and years back to the current one. Of course, those who were familiar with Marchioness Lillitu Masen were horrified to learn that her death was not a suicide. As for Erdgar Adurant's name, because it had been crossed out, and he was still very alive, he was not mentioned in the newspapers.
The second biggest headline concerned the mysterious disappearance of the Roiters couple. Some had assumed that The Colony was involved with them, but there was no evidence of that for any law enforcement to examine. Not even the Roiters' servants had any idea what had happened to the couple. It was as if they had vanished in the night.
***
The first month in Osgarth was rather carefree for Del ... no ... Heidi. Her favorite activity was food shopping with Ku ... no ... Tomek. His eyes would light up when he found a good price on good ingredients. He'd even have small conversations with her about the history of each ingredient and all the appropriate cooking methods available.
Ma ... Olga became a much more tolerable roommate. She smiled more often and even gave an occasional compliment. She was gradually decorating the townhouse with little knickknacks and flowers. She also took a peculiar interest in cleaning. She dusted. She mopped. She washed all the dishes. She even did the laundry, and she hummed all the while. Never before had Heidi seen a woman so amazingly proud to wear an apron.
The cotton spinning mill turned out to be profitable. It was nearly enough to throttle the mind. Tomek hired a few maids right away to give Olga more free time. Despite all the welcome help, Olda still wanted to at least dust things. Tomek shrugged at that, saying, "I'd rather have a happy business partner."
The second month was more luxurious than the first. Tomek took Olga and Heidi to a seamstress' shop so that they could order a few nice dresses while he went to a tailor. After that, all three went on a leisurely search for fanciful things to buy. Board games, playing cards, books, and even a few silly music boxes were purchased.
And Heidi realized that something was wrong.
Her normal monthly flow didn't come.
And soon, she realized she was pregnant, which was the most terrifying thing in the world.
During another cold night, when Tomek came to her bedroom for another intimate encounter, Heidi decided to tell him. She waited for him to close the door. Then she went to him, putting her palms and spread fingers to his chest. She said very carefully, "Tomek, I have grave news. You might become angry."
His hair smelled like vanilla. The sweet aroma teased Heidi's nose as Tomek's head leaned to one side and his nose twitched. "How could I be angry with you? You've always been docile and tender."
As she told him about the pregnancy ... his expression became something that frightened her. His grin ... his grin ...
He had his very own madman's grin.
His eyes were manic. The fireplace's normally comforting glow turned demon-like as it reflected in his dark eyes. His fingers slid up and down her back as he held her snugly, and he lightly crooned down to her, "An angel's child, an angel's child, a sweet little angel's child." His tune was similar to a child's rhyme. "To be the father of an angel's child, that's a blessed honor indeed!"
Oh no ... really?
Heidi tried to pull out of his embrace, but he only tightened his hold. His lips went to her forehead and then to her nose, leaving little dots of warmth behind. "We should be married, Angel. Would you please marry me?" His face sunk into the side of her throat.
Heidi squeaked out a concerned noise. Her fingernails clawed around the buttons on his coat. "Marry? Marry?! You want to marry me?!"
"It will be a short wedding, since we don't have friends in this city, but it will be fine. We'll gain reputations eventually. We might even be invited to higher class engagements." He was making plans right there, not even assuming that anything bad could happen. He slid his face up and put a kiss right on her earlobe, which had her trembling. "Our child will seem normal, but I know it's destined for wonderful things. The God of Hope is smiling at us!"
That was her breaking point. She didn't want to have a baby. She didn't want to get married again. She was too afraid, all too aware of the horrors reality shuffled in with everyday occurrences. Possible consequences forgotten, Heidi cried damning words into his clothing.
"I don't believe in the gods! I stopped believing long ago!"
His muscles tensed around her. It was so quiet that when some cracking and snapping rang out from the fireplace Heidi gasped.
Wooden and jerky, Tomek released her and took a step back, his eyes dragging to the floor.
Heidi's cheeks, hands, lips, feet, and even her genitals, all felt cold. Deep in her heart, she believed she had wounded him. It was a sickening feeling. She reached out and touched his arm. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know you've always thought so highly of me, but I don't want to deceive you any longer. I'm not an angel. I'm not holy. I'm only a non-believer who took advantage of other people's beliefs to make a profit."
He didn't do or say anything at first. So, Heidi continued. "I should seek out an apothecary to have this issue ... dealt with. I don't want you to endure this burden. I refuse to do that without your consent, though ... because," her nose seemed to tingle and she wanted to sneeze and weep, "I don't believe a pregnant woman should ... do such a thing if the father doesn't agree to it."
Shaking ... he was shaking beneath her hand.
Gasping ... was he about to cry?
Laughing ... he was laughing?!
Heidi removed her hand and stared at him with a furrowed brow.
Tomek's head rose. He looked like he had been drugged with a stimulant. She thought she could see all of his teeth. That's how hard he was smiling. No human should ever smile like that.
He grabbed her again. "It wouldn't do for an angel to be aware of their status! Wouldn't do at all! Of course you wouldn't believe you're an angel. I even understand why you'd lose your faith. The world is too cruel, and it's difficult to have any hope, but if I can keep my faith then certainly yours can be renewed."
Heidi blinked. She thought she was getting a headache. Was he simply religious or insane?
Was there a difference in this context?
Was he lying to himself? Was he that desperate to keep his worldview and to keep her all at once?
His hands slid around her back. Then one of them went to her braided hairstyle. There were dangling loops and pinned swirling shapes there. His eyes were so delirious. Did he ever drug himself for non-medical reasons? He did say once that his parents were that way.
Or was this only the way his brain was built?
He licked his lips and said, "Let's marry, let's marry and raise our child with confidence because we are decent people. We are good people who will raise a good child."
She couldn't ...
Her hand rose to one of his sharp cheeks. He shaved often. He smelled like a high class man with a hint of earth. "You honestly want this ... don't you? You want this child. You want this life. You want me."
His eyes finally cooled then. His eyelids lowered. His voice became huskier. "Even if all this wealth is taken from me, I will continue to work to care for this family. I'll even steal if I need to, but only if I need to. And I'll hide treasures for you, so you'll always have something in case of an emergency." His fingernail tugged on a plain ribbon weaved into her locks. "Hmmmm, would you like a showy new hair ornament? Something with ostrich feathers and precious stones?"
That wasn't important to her.
Heidi put her weight on the balls of her feet, oddly wanting more closeness, more heat, even though she knew she was going to say something that would put more emotional distance between them. "Can you be content with a wife who doesn't believe in the gods you hold so dear? Can you be content knowing she will raise your child? Your sincerity alone will never convince me to be faithful."
Another horrible, wordless moment.
There were several tiny twitches in his face, but he calmed himself very rapidly. The air seemed to be taken out of his body. His embrace was drooping, but it felt earnest. "If you never find your faith again, that will be fine. It's not ideal, but as long as you're sweet and kind, as long as you'll be a good wife and mother, I'll support you."
Her pupils dilated. Her lips parted.
That was one of the most sensible, most realistic, most not insane things she had heard him say.
Was he getting better? Was this peaceful life healing his mind? She wasn't a doctor. She didn't know. She did have hope, though.
Her arms locked around him, pulling him down. She kissed him loudly, humming and smacking. Her mouth was wet when she pulled her lips away, but some of her brown curls tangled around his red hair. The tip of her nose touched his. His eyes were too vulnerable.
"Tomek ... let's have a plain wedding. We shouldn't even wear our best clothing. Then we can go shopping for nursery furniture."
***
The wedding was so ordinary, so simple, and so quick, that it seemed to barely happen at all. They had plenty of time for shopping after that. Vital things for a baby were ordered, but Tomek insisted on looking for a present for his new bride. He ordered a pretty violin for her. It had a gently carved image on the back, an elegant pattern of thorny vines and roses.
As they walked to the new carriage Tomek had recently purchased, Heidi clung to her new husband's arm with a feeling she couldn't remember having before.
Pride.
She was actually proud.
The past didn't matter anymore.
This man was a better husband than the creature she had been attached to before.
Heidi gazed at him with bright eyes and an excited smile as he helped her into the carriage.
"Young Madam!! With the brown dress and black cloak!! You!!"
She was inside the carriage when her brain registered the fact that someone was calling out to her. She peeked around the vehicle's exit as Tomek turned his head, his hand gripping a space just under the door's hinges.
A dark skinned woman with cropped black hair rushed towards them, holding up an average reticule.
"Oh!" Heidi reached out from her seat. "That's mine!"
Innocently and lightly, Tomek blinked and smiled. "How kind of her!"
The woman hurried to the carriage and tossed the reticule into Heidi's expectant and grateful hands. Heidi said to her, "Thank you, Miss. I appreciate an honest and helpful person."
With a modest smile and a curtsy, the dark skinned woman said goodbye and walked off, the hem of her cloak flapping in the air.
Once they were home, Tomek helped the servants make a cake while Olga and Heidi planned the layout for a bedroom that was meant to become a nursery. When the cake was done, they all ate and spoke of happier things. When that was finished, Tomek took Heidi's hand, kissed her fingers, and led her to her pretty green bedroom.
It was a life that couldn't have been achieved by following propriety and the law.
She was held inside that room. Then she was pressed against a wall. Between each kiss, more and more clothing was plucked and peeled away. Her nipples were pinched. Then she was held up by a a sturdy arm so that each nipple could have a turn being suckled leisurely, agonizingly slowly, as if each little movement of his lips and tongue was an earnest vow.
It was the safest life. It was a life of earthly wonders and sacred commitments.
