Sarah Sharp & Supply Station Seven

"Good Morning, Miss Sarah. Did you sleep well?"

Sarah glanced at the holographic image speaking to her and frowned. It had been the same fucking question from the same fucking hologram in the same fucking effeminate fucking voice for the last five fucking months.

"Fuck you, Dickhead. I did not sleep well and it isn't morning. It's just what you call morning. Morning has sunlight. It's fucking dark all the fucking time here."

The response and Sara's reply was the same as it always was.

"My, my, Miss Sarah. I sense you are a bit upset this morning because you are using numerous variations of the verb 'fuck' and once again you call me by 'Dickhead' instead of by the name given me by my creator. Perhaps if I were to adjust the level of cushioning of your bed, you would have a more refreshing sleep."

"I don't give a good hard fuck what your fucking name is supposed to be. To me, you're Dickhead. Live with it. And, changing my fucking bed won't do any fucking good unless you can either grow a fucking cock in it or grow one yourself. You do know what a cock is, don't you?"

The hologram smiled.

"Of course, Miss Sarah. In proper usage of the word, ' cock' is the noun used for the male of various species of avian life. In the manner in which you use it, 'cock' is a colloquialism, a rather crude one I might add, for the primary male organ of copulation. Synonyms are the more anatomically correct 'penis' and the equally colloquial 'dick', 'dong' and 'prick'. There are many others in other languages. Would you like me to list them for your perusal?"

Sarah sighed.

"No, and for God's sake, can't you even try to sound a little more butch? Maybe if you sounded like you have a pair of balls, I wouldn't say 'fuck' so much. I say it because that's as close to it as it looks like I'll ever get again and that pansy-ass voice of yours doesn't help."

"Miss Sarah, my creator was not informed as to the gender of the future manager of this supply station prior to my creation. He therefore created my voice to be gender neutral. I apologize if my manner of speaking displeases you, but I have no other choice."

Sarah frowned again.

"I thought you were supposed to be artificial intelligence, not just a dumb-ass computer. Why can't you change it?"

"Miss Sarah, I am as you say, an artificially intelligent system, but without an example of a voice that would please you, I am unable to modify my programming. I could, if you wish, modify my voice to mimic your own, but I did not believe such would please you so I have not."

As always, Sarah gave up. Harold, or Dickhead as she had nicknamed him, was incredibly intelligent and incredibly stupid at the same time. He could speak all known languages of earth including all dialects. He had committed the entire contents of all the libraries of Earth to memory and could recite any book in them on command while translating as required. He had the same knowledge of the solar systems in the universe and the chemistry and physics that applied to them as all the physicists on Earth combined. What he did not have was the simple understanding of how she thought and what she needed.

It didn't surprise her, not after she'd been flown up here and left by herself. Nothing would surprise her again, at least anything Erbium Exports decided to do.

It had been a job when most people couldn't beg hard enough to land one. That alone should have warned her something was not exactly on the up and up. The recruiter had said it was an assistant manager's job with lots of responsibility and the pay and benefits to match. That also should have raised a few flags of warning. There were no managers in any business anymore, much less assistant managers, not since all manual labor had been taken over by robots.

She didn't really consider how she would utilize that pay and those benefits so far from Earth. She was just happy to be employed. Sarah had accepted the first offer, and after a week to pack and say goodbye to friends and family, had boarded the shuttle "Rubenskorsky" on its outbound trip to Supply Station Seven.

Supply Station Seven had been described to Sarah as a satellite warehouse in a solar orbit between Earth and Mars. It was used to re-supply Earth cargo shuttles between the erbium mines on Mars and the smelting plant on Earth. It needed a manager to oversee operations, track and maintain inventory, and make monthly reports back to Earth.

The shuttle docked with Supply Station Seven six months later. Sarah thought it a bit unusual that as soon as she and her bags had stepped off the shuttle, the hatch closed. Five minutes later, the shuttle un-docked and was gone. Sara opened the briefcase that she'd received just before the shuttle hatch closed. "Everything you need to know is in the book", the flight captain had said. Sarah opened the case, took out a thin pamphlet titled "Supply Station Operations Manual", turned to the first page, and began to read.

Congratulations. You have joined the team of professionals of Erbium Exports, the Earth's premier corporation in space mining. Our mission statement is:

Erbium Exports will insure its continuing success as a business by maintaining steady growth of our customer base and by maintaining financial independence.

The goals of Erbium Exports are as follows.

1. To place our customer's satisfaction ahead of all else by

 Providing products of the highest quality

 Providing products by rapid and on-time delivery

 Providing products at the lowest cost

2. Maintain enthusiasm of our employees by providing

 Equal opportunities for advancement

 Equal pay for equal skill

 Comfortable working conditions

3. Maintain the quality of life of every Earth citizen by

 Conserving Earth resources

 Protecting the Earth environment

There were other paragraphs that Sarah skipped over because they appeared only to say the same things in different ways. She turned to page two and read the title.

Operation of the MXN45689563 Supply Station

Step 1 -- On the control console located near the docking station, locate the red switch labeled "ON/OFF".

(Note 1: On some versions of the MXN45689563 Supply Station manufactured in Europe, this switch may be labeled "I/O".)

(Note 2: On some versions of the MXN45689563 Supply Station manufactured in Asia, this switch may not be labeled, and will be blue in color.)

Step 2 -- Turn this switch to "ON" or "I" as the case may be.

(Note: Blue switches should be turned so the pointer is to the left of center.)

Step 3 -- The system should boot up in approximately ninety seconds and the station control hologram should appear approximately sixty seconds later.

Step 4 -- Introduce yourself to the control hologram by giving your full name and Earth Security Number. The control hologram will automatically log you into the system and then be ready to accept and execute your commands.

Have fun by getting to know your holographic partner by discussing your backgrounds, discovering commonalties, and by exchanging personal preferences. The control hologram contains all the information required to operate and maintain a successful and profitable supply station as well as maintain a happy and comfortable environment for you. All you have to do is ask.

(Note 1: If the station does not boot or if the hologram does not appear, turn the red switch to "OFF" or "O" as the case may be, wait for at least ten seconds, and then repeat Step 2.

(Note 2: In the case of the MXN45689563 supply station manufactured in Asia, it is not necessary to return the switch to its original position. Simply press and hold the blue switch for approximately twenty seconds and then release.)

(Note 3: If the above does not result in the station booting and the hologram appearing, refer to the troubleshooting diagram on the last page of this manual and to the circuit breaker listing on the circuit breaker panel in the control room.)

(Note 4: Should this also fail, use the emergency transmitter located under the control panel in the control room to initiate an emergency call for assistance. Enough food and water is stored in the closet marked "EMERGENCY USE ONLY" inside the control room to sustain life for approximately one hundred Earth days.)

Sarah found the only button on the control panel to be a yellow knob with no markings and no pointer, but took a chance and turned it to the left. Nothing happened then, so she turned it to the right. The main interior lights came on then, and the small lights on the control panel began to blink. About a minute later, the hologram of a man's face appeared in front of her and began to speak.

"Hello, hello. My name is Harold. What is your name and Earth Security Number?"

Sarah smiled. It had worked, well, sort of.

"Sarah Sharp, 916724365764."

After that, things went pretty well for a while. Sarah told Harold her background.

"I grew up in San Dieangeloclarfrisco, California and got my degree in People Relationships from UCBDIAMRDBC. I applied for this job right out of college and I got it."

"I see", mused Harold. "How interesting. You certainly rate an 'A' for achievement. I am certain we will have many very interesting conversations during your term of employment.

"I was born one year ago at the Erbium Exports AI lab in Bishop, New California. I received programming and databases encompassing all current knowledge in language, mathemetics, physics, chemistry, and biology as well as programming specific to the mission and operation of the MXN45689563 supply station. My circuits mimic the synapses and memory of the human brain, though multiplied by two to the hundredth power, and I have the ability to learn -- the term is artificial intelligence, I believe -- though I am quite real. I will be happy to answer any questions you might have for me. In addition to my other duties, I am here to make your stay as comfortable and pleasant as possible."

Sarah could think of only one question.

"What exactly is it I'm supposed to do here?"

"Well...actually... nothing. I perform all tasks required to operate the supply station."

"Then why am I here?"

"It is really very simple, Miss Sarah. In the event my systems should fail, you are needed to summon emergency assistance to save the supply station and its contents. I could not very well do so myself if my systems ceased to operate, now could I?"

"So if you croak, I call home and ask for a mechanic? That's it?"

Harold's face developed a patronizing smile.

"It is not exactly accurate to say you will call home. All you need do is press the orange button on the transmitter under the control console and the transmitter will send the signal. Depending upon our position in orbit relative to Earth, the repair mission will dock with the supply shuttle in one hundred ninety to two hundred fifty Earth days to repair my systems."

"But the manual says there is only enough food for a hundred days."

Harold smiled again.

"Ah, yes, that is correct. The space available for emergency food storage would not allow a longer term supply. Depending upon the time since the last re-supply shuttle to the supply station, there should be more food available."

"So I just die up here if there isn't?"

"Not necessarily. Two hundred fifty days is a worst case scenario, and even so, there are many documented cases of humans living a quite long time without food. As you are young and in very good physical condition, I would anticipate your survival at eighty nine point seven six three eight four percent, although you will weigh somewhat less when the repair shuttle arrives."

"Yeah, about twenty kilos less. I only weigh forty eight kilos now."

"Forty nine point six four seven eight one kilograms actually. You seem to be over hydrated to some extent but there is no cause for alarm. My MRI scans of your body indicate you are four Earth days from beginning menstruation. The cause of the increase in normal body mass due to water retention is the result of that condition and is perfectly normal."

"You can tell that?"

"Certainly. I am fully functional in all areas of expertise including medicine."

Sarah smiled.

"I don't suppose you're fully functional in every area, are you?"

Harold's holographic face smiled.

"To which area do you refer?"

"Well, when it's this time of the month, I tend to get really horny. Back on Earth, I had a friend who took care of me. Apparently up here, I just have you. Can you...you know...have sex?"

Sarah realized Harold's patronizing smile was becoming irritating.

"Miss Sarah, as I stated before, my creator did not know the gender of the manager of this supply station and created me to be gender neutral. I am a holographic image as well, nothing more."

"Damn", sighed Sarah. Since I'm an assistant manager, I thought there would be another person as the manager up here. I'm gonna go crazy if I can't get off."

"Miss Sarah, it is not possible to 'get off' this station as you say. That will only be possible after your ten year contract has expired."

"Ten years? What? I thought it was one year and then I'd get promoted and sent back to Earth to do something else."

"You are partially correct. After one year you will be promoted from assistant manager to manager, but you will remain on the supply station for another nine years post promotion. Did you not read the section of the contract entitled 'Terms of Employment'?"

Sara's voice was sarcastic.

"No, I didn't. The print was really tiny and I didn't have my microscope with me that day. That's not what I meant by getting off anyway."

Harold smiled his now infuriating smile again.

"Oh...please explain."

"Getting off, you know, the big 'O', cumming, creaming the weenie, making the kitty purr?"

"Miss Sarah, I recognize most of your words, but I can not correlate them to a meaning except for 'making the kitty purr'. Unfortunately there is no immature feline on the supply station you may cause to do such."

Sarah sighed.

"I mean have an orgasm, you dickhead."

"Ah...now I understand. Orgasm -- a noun describing the release of endorphins in the brain as the result of sexual stimulation."

"That would be it. You can't?"

"No. I am not so equipped as said equipment would be quite different depending upon the physical and mental gender of the person involved. I believe I have explained my own gender neutrality to you prior to this."

"So I have to wait on some shuttle to dock before I get laid? That's only supposed to happen every six months or so. "

Harold smiled.

"I am rapidly learning your use of euphemisms in your speech by correlating the words with the current topic of discussion. I assume by 'get laid' you refer to the act of sexual intercourse. I am afraid that will not be possible. Early in the erbium mining project it was determined humans could not cope with the months of continuous space travel. They would begin to deteriorate both physically and mentally after only two years. All transport shuttles are drones operated by artificially intelligent systems much like my own, though without my depth of knowledge.

"You mean I'm not going to see another person for ten years?"

"It is not likely, Miss Sarah. As you were speaking though, I accessed the database relative to human sexuality. It is quite possible for you to achieve an orgasm by envisioning an appropriately erotic situation and manual manipulation of your erogenous zones. I would think that is a better course of action than, as you say, going crazy."

"That works, but it's not the same. I know how I'll fix this. I'll just hop on the next ore shuttle going back to Earth and tell Erbium Exports to go fuck themselves. Then I'll get myself fucked back on Earth."

Sarah saw that patronizing smile again.

"Miss Sarah, it is not possible for you to do as you say. In order to minimize costs, the ore shuttles are not equipped with the life support systems required by humans. Based upon your lung capacity and your metabolism, you would expire approximately fifteen minutes, twenty three point five seven one seconds after the ore shuttle un-docked."

"Only approximately", sneered Sarah.

"Miss Sarah, as I am certain you can imagine, any calculation relative to human endurance under extreme conditions is somewhat of an estimate."

"Yeah, well you haven't seen extreme conditions until you've seen me not getting laid for a few months. I turn into a real bitch."

"Ah...bitch...a female of the species canidae. I do not believe it is possible for a human to transform into another species."

"You really are a dickhead. That's your name from now on -- Dickhead. Not that kind of bitch, Dickhead, a bitch as in a woman who needs to get laid and starts screaming her head off and breaking things because she can't."

It was the seventh month when Sara realized there was a way. The station had just received a supply of food and other things Erbium Exports deemed necessary for her survival. There was enough food in the storage locker for at least another six months plus the emergency food. That afternoon, or at least what Dickhead called afternoon, he was involved in inventorying the items delivered and wasn't around. Sarah looked under the control panel for the emergency call transmitter.

The button was green instead of orange, but she pressed it anyway. One second later, Harold's hologram appeared over the control panel.

"Miss Sarah, you have pressed the button to activate the emergency transmitter. Why would you do this? All my systems are perfectly functional."

"Well, all my systems suck, and they're gonna keep sucking until I get laid. Maybe the repair crew will be human and I will."

Harold smiled.

"Indeed, the repair mission will be human, though only one person. It is equally probable that person will be female rather than the man you seek. Erbium Exports prides themselves on equal representation of the sexes in all positions."

"Right now, I'd settle for getting my pussy licked if I can't get fucked."

"There is only a ten percent probability the person responding will prefer partners of the same gender. That is the percentage of same-gender preferences and the target percentage of Erbium Exports. A female would in all probability not wish to do as you do."

"Oh fuck you, Dickhead. I'll convince her...or him if that's what he turns out to be."

It was one hundred and ninety five days when the repair shuttle docked. Sarah waited at the docking hatch until the pressure of the shuttle equalized with the pressure of the supply station, and then opened the hatch.

He hadn't shaved in a while, but he was a man. Sarah's heart began to beat faster when she heard the deep, masculine voice.

"What seems to be your problem, little lady?"

"I have something that needs fixing. You're not gay are you?"

The man laughed.

"No, not by a long shot. All you company people are really into diversity, aren't you? What's it matter?"

"That's what the brochure says, but I --"

Harold interrupted her.

"Yes, Erbium Exports prides itself on hiring the most diverse candidates. Your trip was in vain, though. We need no repairs. I am functioning at a level of one hundred percent. You may return to Earth."

The man looked at Sarah.

"Is he always such an asshole?"

"Pretty much. I call him Dickhead. Dickhead, meet...what's your name?"

"Brad, Brad Lake."

"Dickhead, meet Brad. Now, go inventory something. Brad and I have things to do."

After Harold's hologram vanished, Brad looked at Sarah.

"I think he's right. Everything seems to be fine. What made you activate the emergency beacon?"

Sarah began unbuttoning her uniform blouse.

"I'll make it plain and simple. I need to be fucked and I need to be fucked more than once. You up to the job?"