Author's note:
This is version 3. It was edited once for inconsistencies/continuity errors really embarrassing editing mistakes, and now it has been edited so I don't have to retcon later on.
I wrote the first story as a stand-alone satire, then it grew out of hand. Since I've returned to it and established a proper plot and universe, I've gone back and am re-editing these to make sure they fit.
Original Author's note: if you haven't read the first one, this really isn't going to make any sense at all, so don't blame me if you haven't and you get confused.
#
Sable lay on her bed, rhythmically tapping her fingertips together and staring thoughtfully at the ceiling.
For some reason, she hadn't thought about changing out of her costume into something more comfortable. When she thought about it, that bothered her.
It also bothered her that Sunburst Girl, when she recovered with the help of about five minutes in the headquarters and a glass of milk, had gone straight back to being brainless valley girl and appeared to have entirely forgotten about everything that had happened inside the Engineer's workshops, relating it as "We were caught, and Sable broke us out!" It may have taken five minutes, from her telling, not three hours.
Also, but far from finally, it bothered her that nobody said anything about revenge or a retaliatory attack. They just took it as another part in life, and started talking about who was going to do the evening patrol.
Even less was making sense than anything to date already hadn't, including this sentence.
The behaviour of her colleagues, however, was beginning to seriously worry her. If they had all at one time been normal humans who had died and been given a second chance, well, they couldn't ALL have been children's television presenters or kindergarten teachers, could they?
She had tried asking Fern about her former life and the horticulturist had acted as though Sable had made an indecent reference to her grandmother. Clearly, it wasn't just prior names you Don't Talk About.
Even worse, she had a sneaking suspicion she was beginning to play along with their little brainless fantasy. What was it the Engineer had said? "Try doing something evil, and see how well it works for you," or something like that.
There was the costume, for a start. Yes, she had discovered limitations in the clothing designer, but she was wearing a fucking corset!
Then there was her behaviour when she "rescued" Sunburst Girl. That stance, and saying... She shuddered, just thinking about it. They were rubbing off on her.
Her telephone chimed. "You're patrolling with Zephyr!" Volcano's cheerful voice thundered.
Oh, am I, she thought sourly. Patrolling worked so well last time!
But she went, anyway.
They found a bank robbery in progress.
Sable assumed that there must be non-Super criminals operating somewhere in the city, but these were not they.
The first clue was the smoking, half-melted hole in the bank's facade.
Zephyr, saying "Cover me!" dived straight towards the hole.
Sable thought that was such a good idea she crept around the back.
Sure enough, four goons were carrying sacks of money out of the bank's back door, towards a large van.
After first checking briefly for supervisors, she quickly dumped the thugs in a large garage skip against the back wall of the bank and locked them in, disabled the van and locked the money in that, and then tiptoed inside the bank.
Zephyr was, astonishingly for someone whose super power involved wind, holding her own against someone who could shoot bolts of energy from his fists.
He kept missing her, and she had managed to stir up a small indoor tornado which was making a horrendous mess but was also making it hard for the Villain to keep his footing.
Sable stayed still and quiet behind the door, eyes flicking around the huge inside of the bank. There didn't seem to be any more goons around, she couldn't see anybody else involved in the fight, and nobody seemed to be moving, so...
Taking a deep breath, Sable hoped the villain was alone and encased him in a vault of blackness which she shrank until he was forced into a foetal posture and running low on air.
Zephyr was surprised by Sable's appearance and produced handcuffs with bad grace. Sable stopped herself from making any lewd comments about the cuffs.
The bank was grateful, effusively. The customers were grateful, tearfully. The cops were grateful, admiringly. The media which turned up as soon as it was safe to do so were gushing in their praise as they stepped over bits of bank.
Sable stared in disbelief at the holes, the chaos of paper, the several customers who had been quite severely injured, and silently cursed the lot of them for fools.
She left Zephyr to talk to everyone, and slipped away quietly.
She was not impressed, and wasn't sure she could keep it in.
"Are civilians immune to injury?" she asked when they were all gathered in the headquarters for mutual congratulations.
"What was that?" Volcano rumbled.
"There were at least twenty people inside that bank. Are civilians immune to injury?" with a nauseating feeling in her stomach, she realised that they honestly didn't know.
They all stared at her, but she was getting used to it by now.
"What do you suggest I should have done?" Zephyr flared up. "Let them get away?"
"Check out the situation," Sable replied evenly. "Scout around. Find their escape vehicle. Wait for them to leave, then apprehend them."
Zephyr laughed, scornfully. "They disappear! Into the sewers, into buildings, down ramps! The Engineer has escape routes all through the city!"
Ah, thought Sable to herself. And so we come to this. I knew we would eventually. I'm going to have to have a word with him, I can see.
#
She chose the novel step of wearing civvies, after finding out the wardrobe could do that, and visiting his front company as a client. She even made an appointment.
Hiding her height and assets inside a business blouse and suit jacket proved difficult, and she ended up looking like a Superheroine wearing a skirt, suit jacket and high heels. But she was counting on the rules of this world making a pair of glasses a good disguise, and so far it seemed to be working.
The security guard sent her straight up to his office. His receptionist, walking remarkably well for someone in 5" heels, a corseted 16" waist and a skirt that kept her thighs together as well as a leather strap would, showed her into a meeting room, directed her to a chair and offered her coffee.
Sable declined refreshments out of generalised suspicion, then stared at the proffered chair for a few moments before sitting in the other one. Then she steepled her fingers together and waited.
He wouldn't keep her waiting long if she didn't have something to drink...
A door out of her field of view opened, briskly.
"Good afternoon! What can... Oh, hello."
"Hello, again. How's evil villaining?"
"Same as usual. How's heroing?"
"Frustrating. I want a word with you."
"Oh, alright then." He deftly flicked a remote control out of his pocket, pressed something and only then sat down in the other chair.
"So you rig that chair by force of habit, then?"
"Pretty much, yes. Can't hurt. What's bothering you?"
"I helped catch a bank robber three days ago."
"Thunder. I heard about that, yes."
"He was a bit thick."
"Can't argue with that."
"In fact, they all are."
"Can't argue with that, either."
"Except you."
"Except, thankfully, me."
"You appear to have built this entire city."
He raised his hand and waggled it in the time honoured symbol of an approximation. "Large parts of it, yes."
"You would also appear to have the distinction of being the only known villain to not actually have a criminal record."
"The mayor has always regarded my civil works kindly as a mitigating factor."
"I bet he has. In fact, I suspect you built him, as well."
His face split in a wide grin. "I see your thought processes. You want to know whether I really am THE Engineer. "
"Are you?"
"No."
"Oh."
"At least, not entirely. Yes, I essentially planned this city. Yes, I do have extraordinary access to the basic rules of the game. No, I did not build this universe, and I did not have any say over my body, yours, or anyone else's. I have purely built within the limitations of this world.
"Whoever the architect is, if there is one, is a far bigger pervert than even I. Trust me, there are much worse areas for you to have landed in."
"So how the fuck, exactly, did you get so much control?"
"Because I really am an engineer, and I worked out the rules. I may not be a scientist, exactly, but the line is always only ever thin. As soon as I realised there were things I shouldn't be able to do that I could, I spent a very long time exploring what they were."
"Like your radiation orgasm machines?"