Yeah, yeah. You're thinking, 'Who the fuck names their story 'Robot Sex Doll Model Freeway Heist?', but after you read this, you'll understand why it fits. In fact, by the time you finish reading all of it, you ought to be thinking, 'What else could it be called, but 'Robot Sex Doll Model Freeway Heist?'
This whole business is madness. I guess when one works at a sex doll factory, one should expect to have a memorable experience here and there, but what happened to me is almost too much to swallow. No pun intended. Allow me to start at the beginning...
***
I didn't want to work at a sex doll factory. It was never an aspiration of mine. I just needed a decent paying job. I had made it through three years of college before dropping out, bored to tears, thanks to my ADHD. The most I got out of that experience was a mountain of debt and a bitter ex-boyfriend. I needed to make more money if I was ever going to get out from under it, so when Brody Pastel offered me a job at 'Brody's Bodies,' I jumped on it.
Brody is a good friend of my old boss, Carl Casta. I handled desk duties at his company, Casta Creative. Stuff like billing, scheduling, along with the occasional pagination job. I was a glorified office secretary, nothing more. Carl often raved about me, telling Brody things like, "Samantha Dunning is a breath of fresh air!", "We'd be lost without Sam!", on and on. These days, Carl jokes about how he should have kept his stupid mouth shut, because Brody offered me double what I was earning at CC to come work for him. Brody said he'd been through four terrible assistants over two years and needed someone dependable and capable. Carl assured Brody that I met those qualifications and I was grateful to them both for allowing me the opportunity to switch jobs for better pay. However, I was apprehensive about working for a place called Brody's Bodies.
There are several high-end manufacturers of sex dolls on the planet. I mean that in the literal sense. Several. Very few. Brody Pastel is considered one of the best in the business, offering sex dolls that can be manipulated and moved like real human bodies, with proper weight and weight distribution (very important, so they say). These dolls can be propped in nearly any position. They can even stand, balancing almost as well as any person would. For this and other reasons, Brody Pastel was considered a genius in the industry.
Personally, I'm no fan of the merchandise. All the dolls are made up to look like oversexed Barbies, yet with even more ridiculous proportions than those plastic classics. I'm not sure why the physical appearance of the sex dolls bothers me so much, considering they are literal sex objects. I guess I just find it insulting to real women with real figures.
I'd probably been working a week or so when I met Jennifer Pastel for the first time. She looked quite a bit like the dolls we sell, with a healthy six figures of plastic surgery performed on her. "Hi, honey. I'm here to see Brody," she said while strolling past my desk at the front of the office.
"Shall I tell him who -" I tried to stop her, but she was long gone. She walked with confidence, knowing her exact destination.
"That's Brody's ex, Jennifer," said Pete Unger, behind me. His office was the first past mine, just off the west hallway. He must have just stepped outside his door when Jennifer came in. "Those two are in the midst of a divorce. They still haven't settled their... well, you know... who-gets-what-and-how-much issues... Jennifer thinks she's entitled to more than half."
"More than half?"
"Yeah, she's batshit. She was one of our first models, and the doll fashioned after her is still one of our most popular... but that's the most she ever contributed to the company. Jennifer's never actually worked a day in her life."
"Oh. How long were they married?"
"I dunno. A few years, maybe? Let's see... yeah..." Pete looked up, squinting, trying to reach back into his memory banks. Finally, he relaxed and answered, "It would be almost five years, I guess. But for the last year or so, they haven't been around each other very much."
"What's going to happen?"
"I'm sure Brody paid for a good lawyer. This will cost him, but it won't break him."
"I hope not."
"You wouldn't be here otherwise, Miss Harper."
"Please, call me Samantha. Or Sam."
"Alright, Sam. Brody's a good guy, you'll see. Pays us what we're worth; expects reasonable results in return. You found a good place to plant your feet, career wise."
"Really?"
"I mean it. I'm not just being a cheerleader for the company. Brody is a good leader. Solid guy. I suppose there might be better bosses out there, but they would be hard to find."
"That's good to know. Mr. Pastel said he had so much trouble keeping help, I was worried he might be a bit of a tyrant or something."
"Brody is no tyrant. We just have the worst luck with finding decent help."
"I hope to change that," I said, thinking on it a bit more. Why would anyone perform poorly when this place pays so well and everyone seems so nice? Maybe people just didn't like the idea of working for a sex doll company. Again, I wasn't thrilled about it myself. In fact, I didn't even tell my friends. When the subject of my career comes up, I just say I handle administrative duties. It sounds boring enough that no one ever asks follow-up questions. I certainly don't mention anything about the sex dolls in various stages of production in the workshop.
Jennifer Pastel didn't stay long. Before Pete and I finished our conversation, we could hear her heels click-clacking far down the hall, coming our way. The footsteps were loud, which I interpreted as anger. Judging from the expression on her face, it seemed I was accurate. As Jennifer exited the front door, Pete whispered, "I wonder what set her off. Usually, she's calm as a cucumber."
That was quickly answered when Brody approached a moment later. "Jennifer just found out I pulled her models."
"Wait, what? You pulled her models? Even the latest, upgraded version?" Pete sounded incredulous.
Brody nodded, "Yup, we'll make a better one. No more royalties for that terrible woman. And because of some good intel that my P.I. picked up, Jen will be lucky to make it out of this divorce with much of anything. It will be a very modest figure. No house, no additional cars, nothing. But if she were smart, she could still retire on it. Knowing her, it'll be drained within a year."
Pete was belly laughing. "Really? You stiffed her?"
"She stiffed herself."
Pete was red in the face, happy. "Boss, if anyone deserves it..."
"Maybe... but it doesn't make me feel great. Her loss, though." Brody glanced to me. "I won't bore you with details, but I really loved that woman and she blew it."
I wasn't quite sure how to respond. I said, "Some people just don't know how good they have it, sir."