Remember...

Chapter 9: The Calm

*****

This chapter is done, thanks to my editors on Lit: secretsxywriter and Goddesss_of_Sunshine, as well as a couple of my RL friends! It was so long that it got split up into two parts (Chapter 9a and 9b... but that looks clunky, so just 9 and 10, now)

No content warning this time. Regular smut is regular :3

Enjoy, and as always, comments and feedback welcome.

CCG

*****

The Elven ambassador's office was filled with smiles as Mark and Allura introduced their companions formally, for the first time, all the while holding hands and stealing glances at each other at every opportunity.

"I'm so happy for you!" The sorceress gushed while she hugged her.

"Thank you," Allura said, her voice full of relief.

"My lady," Falalie interrupted, "it's almost time for your speech. We should get back to the party before people start wondering."

Pulling back from their embrace, they shared a happy grin. "Okay, let's go."

Mark was about to put on his helmet when he hesitated for a moment. Instead, he put an arm around Allura's back, and kissed her. It wasn't long or sensual, but it made her heart skip a beat. It was the first time he had kissed her in front of her guardians.

When their lips parted, there was a confident smile on his face. Without another word, he put on his helmet, and in moments, faded from sight, leaving her standing there, blushing, but wearing an undeniably happy smile. It took her a few moments to finally recover.

"Well, I really hope you like bath salts," Mari said while Allura donned her handmaiden mask once more.

"Why did you think I was trying to convince you that it was a good idea?"

With a nod to everyone, Allura opened the door into the halls.

Following Tenais, dressed in the princess's fineries, Allura rejoined Ellisa outside. Andrew's guards that waited alongside her fell in line behind their king once more while the group made their way back to the ballroom.

There was a brief speech that Allura gave on the balcony before the food and cake were served and performances began. There was more talking and more dancing. Finally, at the end of the night after all the guests had left and she had changed out of her handmaiden dress, Allura laid down on a chaise lounge on the second floor of the ballroom and closed her eyes while several of her guardians busied themselves with preparations for their departure.

"Long day, huh?"

Allura opened her eyes. "Hey Asger. You're still here? I thought I saw you chatting up that pretty violinist earlier."

"But you look so tired and bored here. What kind of a brother would I be if I didn't keep you company on your birthday?" He sat down in a plush chair next to her.

She laughed. "Like the brother that I've always known. I don't remember you ever doing this at my other parties."

"Well maybe I'm just feeling sentimental today. This place brings back memories."

"Oh?" She perked up.

"I was here when the White Keep was first built, you know? Me, Felix, Jurian, Mother and Father. We were all here. We all came to the grand opening of this embassy in the capital of our new ally. A young Queen Isabelle stood in the very same spot where you gave your speech earlier. She addressed the gathered crowd, declaring the friendship between our countries and her gratitude for our assistance. You reminded me a little bit of her."

Allura smiled with a raised eyebrow. "Were you

fond

of her?"

"I admired her, if that's what you mean. But you're asking me if I slept with her, aren't you?" He laughed while he playfully patted her on the head. "I

do

have a reputation to uphold."

"What did you

admire

about her?"

Asger ignored the teasing and seemed to think for a moment. "Did you know she first came to Mise when she was only 19? At the time, the country of Rancer didn't exist. All of this used to be part of House Osis of the Mamet Empire. She came to us as her father's envoy to ask for our assistance in their rebellion. She asked for an army in return for some land that they will give back to us when they win, and the promise to ban the use of certain magic. Of course, at the time, whether their rebellion would even succeed was in question, but she was firm in her belief that they will.

"About a week after she had arrived, news came that her father had died in battle. He was one of the major leaders of the rebellion, so we thought that was the beginning of the end for them. But the very next day when we mentioned it and offered her asylum, she only quipped that her father had the strength and bravery of a hundred men. That giving her a hundred more soldiers would make up for her loss and could continue fighting.

"She didn't show any grief, nor did she want our pity. She only spoke of her goals for the war, and plans of creating a fair and just country, where she could realize her and her father's dream of self-determination. A lot of that was obviously rhetoric, but she was eloquent and tough, and she made an impression on Father. In private, he heavily leaned towards giving her our support, since we would have loved to see Osis gone. But he held back from telling her, because... well, lots of reasons: we needed time to gather forces; we wanted to see what else she would offer; but most importantly, because we couldn't let House Osis know of our intent too soon.

"Finally, at the end of the last day of the meetings, Father told her that he would give her his decision the next morning. It was a rather vague response, I admit, and the fact that Father and Felix did not show up to dinner that night probably looked to her like they were avoiding her. So when Isabelle got back to her quarters, she broke down in tears. As it turns out, she wasn't made of stone. That night, she asked to see me in her quarters and offered herself to me."

Allura sat up, surprised. "What? She tried to bribe you with...?"

"No. She knew I wasn't in charge of the final decision. I told her again, but she knew."

"Then why?"

"She said she wanted to live her life by her terms. And without an army, she knew her chances of survival weren't high once she returned. Isabelle asked for me because she just wanted to cross something off her bucket list before she dies, or it's forcibly crossed off for her."

"Oh. I see. So did you-"

"What, take advantage of a clearly distraught girl? I hope you have a better opinion of me than that," he said, giving her a look of amused disapproval. "And I told her that too. Instead, after an awkward beginning, I spent the night talking to her. Eventually, she told me about her childhood; about her father, her mother, and her childhood pet cats. Did you know she's very fond of cats? We spent at least half-an-hour on them.

"I told her about our family, a little bit. About Felix and his duties as the Aspect of the Forge, and my responsibilities as the Aspect of War. Back then, Jurian was around your age, maybe a decade or so older, so he didn't receive his Dominion yet. I talked about wars I've fought with the Orc clans, the wars and border skirmishes with House Osis, and then the conversation got onto the topic of swords. One thing lead to another, and I somehow agreed to give her a sword."

"You gave her a

sword

, huh?" She looked at him suggestively.

He mirrored her expression with a playful smile. "Yes, a

sword

. Among other things."

Allura giggled. "It sounded like you were getting pretty friendly with her. You really didn't sleep with her?"

"Well, I mean our conversation got late, and I think we both drifted off at some point, so I guess I... 'slept'... with her? But no, nothing happened between us that night. Of course, that's not what people assumed when they saw me coming out of her room the next morning. Anyway, when Father finally sent for Isabelle and told her of her new army, the look on her face...I'll never forget it. She was caught somewhere between tears, laughter, surprise, and something else... It was a lot of things.

"It took about a week for the troops to assemble. During that week, I asked Felix to forge the sword for her while I talked to her about her new army and how to use it effectively. It turns out she wasn't clueless. Who would've thought that someone who's already been through a couple years of civil war would be experienced, right? But still, I made sure she knew the difference between the soldier that we were giving her and her own. During these talks, sometimes our conversation would digress and we'd spend hours on other things like gardening, or hunting, or cavalry tactics. Now that is a topic which she was quite knowledgeable in. She even taught me a few things.

"On the last night of her stay in Luminare, she once again asked to see me in her quarters, and... well, let's just say I showed her a good time."

"Uh huh." Allura narrowed her eyes with amusement. "What changed your mind?"

"Nothing changed my mind. She was the one that changed. She was a whole other person, taunting me in that imperious tone of hers. Asking me if I would give up the chance to introduce the future Queen of Rancer to the pleasures of the flesh. With a challenge like that, how could I refuse?"

"Wow. That's bold of her."

"Yeah, I'll say." Asger seemed to stare off into the distance at nothing. A smile slowly formed on his face before he laughed and shook his head. He looked at his sister with a sideways glance, the corner of his mouth curling into a mischievous smirk. "Anyway, a year-and-a-half later, Isabelle was crowned Queen of Rancer. I was here in Luminare with Father and Felix for that. Then, two years after that, we all came again for the opening of the White Keep. I decided to invite Queen Isabelle to the White Keep at night, to christen each and every room, in the most entertaining way."

"What?" Allura raised an eyebrow, not sure if she heard her brother correctly. "What do you mean by—"

"She wasn't married yet at the time and wasn't seriously pursuing any of her considerable list of suitors as far as I knew. So I asked her to come here at night to give her a night tour with complementary pleasant activities. She enthusiastically accepted, and we decided to test the acoustic qualities of each room of the White Keep over the course of a week. In fact, this chaise lounge that you're lying down on is looking very familiar."

Before he had even finished the last syllable, Allura jumped up to her feet with a horrified look on her face while her eyes darted between the seat and her brother, who only responded with laughter. "I'm just kidding! Allura, I'm kidding! I promise!"

"Asger!" She scowled at him, punching him on the shoulder.

"On the other hand, that balcony where you gave the speech, I

definitely

remember that spot. Her voice sounded wonderful from there."

"Asger! You jerk!" She hit him again, and he laughed.

"My lady, Prince Asger," Ellisa said from the stairway as she coughed to announce her presence. "The carriage is ready. We can depart at your leisure."

"Ah! Okay, thanks Ellisa. I'll be right down," Allura said, stopping the sibling abuse for just a moment. Turning back to Asger, she narrowed her eyes playfully. "Please never tell me anything of that sort ever again."

"Not a chance."

Allura shook her head and followed after Ellisa, who had already gone.

"Asger," she said, stopping at the top of the stairs.

"Yeah, Allura?"

"Did you love her?"

"What?"

"Isabelle. Did you love her?"

Asger smiled but shook his head. "I loved her as a friend. A great friend. And I do miss her."

"Oh." Allura wasn't sure, but she thought she saw a flicker of an unfamiliar emotion across his face.

"Why do you ask? Is there a human boy that's caught your interest?"

Whatever she thought she had seen was now replaced by a sly smile. "Uh. No!"

"Human girl, then? Wait, don't tell me it's a boy and a girl?"

"Asger!" She sighed, turning to leave. "Good night. Thanks for the company."

"Good night, Allura. Happy birthday."

+-+-+-+-+-

It was just past midnight when they finally arrived home. A small pile of presents were already on the dining room table, but Amanda had eyes for only one very specific box. While she ran upstairs to the bath that Vin had prepared, she read the notecard that was placed in the package: "Happy birthday Princess... blah, blah, blah... Great honor... blah... Try this in the dark... Yours truly, Mari Izer, Society of Magic". Curious, she poured a scoop of the pink crystals into the bath and dimmed the light globes.

She looked and saw... nothing. The water seemed perfectly normal, except for maybe the faint scent of "Sinful Rose." Amanda frowned. It definitely didn't seem all that interesting to her right now.

Maybe it's just regular bath salts?

With a sigh, she quickly undressed and stepped into the bath. Then, almost immediately, she saw it. Her feet and calves— the parts of her below the water level—started to tingle and glow a light pink. Amanda lowered herself completely and scooped a handful of the water into her hands to study it. Close up, she saw in detail what she had originally thought was the water glowing but was instead thousands of tiny sparks flashing across her skin. The sparks also produced a cooling tingle that contrasted in an oddly pleasant way with the warm water of the bath. With a content sigh, Amanda leaned back against the tub and whispered, "Thank you, Mari."

Almost half an hour later, Amanda returned downstairs to open the rest of her presents while her guardians gathered around her to share in her excitement. There were paintings, jewelry, and even a five-charm collar (from the Drow, of course). She passed around a box of Elven chocolates from her brother, much to the delight of her guardians.

"My lady, perhaps you should go to sleep now, and continue this tomorrow," Celistra said, snatching the box away from an indecisive Falalie. "You still have to wake up for training with Captain Banks."

"I know, but Mark said that he will come here after. I still want to speak to him." Amanda paused and looked up to her guardians. "I'm sure you will want to speak to him as well."

"We do," Ellisa nodded. "Knowing now who he is, there are a lot of things that I wish to speak to him about. But I also want to speak to both of you together."

"Oh? What is it?"

"Don't worry about it now. We can talk tomorrow morning, when you're rested."

"Ellisa," Amanda began, but a knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. "Ah. That must be him."

When Vin finally showed Mark to the dining room, the other women had already retreated, leaving Amanda alone. With a small bow, Vin, too, left.

"Mark," the elf greeted him. She smiled, but despite her best efforts, she felt tears well up in her eyes again.

"Amanda... no, Allura," he smiled, too, and embraced her.

"Mark! You're making me cry again," she half laughed and half sobbed, returning his hug.

"I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you." He kissed her.

"You're going to have to do more than that," she laughed again in between sobs. "I wish I could just stop crying. I'm actually really happy, but... Argh!" She gave a tiny yell of frustration.

"Let's go out into the yard. Maybe some fresh air would help."

When they reached the middle of the lawn, Mark sat down and motioned for her to do the same next to him.

"Why are we sitting?" she asked, sitting down.

"We're not."

Amanda yelped when he pulled her backwards until they both lay down on the grass, looking up into the starry, night sky.

"I see. You could've just told me to lie down."

"It's more fun this way."

"But I thought you wanted me to calm down."

"You stopped crying."

Amanda blinked. It was true. "Huh. But still. Jerk."

Mark laughed. "Yeah. I know. I'm sorry."

"I was joking."

"I know, but it doesn't make it not true," he said while he held her hand. "I'm sorry for what I did to you. You deserve better."

"We've already talked about this tonight. I understand why you had to leave. You made the decision right after we got the letter from Linae, right? I should've realized sooner, but—"

"Allura, you didn't have to do anything. I did make the decision after Linae's letter, but I already knew that I had to do it soon. Your guardians are persistent, so I knew I couldn't stay around much longer. With my duties to my king, I just couldn't..." He sighed. "And besides, this wasn't the only thing that I did to you. There was also the time in the alley. I hadn't given you a safeword yet, so I was only relying on my judgement to see how far you could be pushed. To be honest, it wasn't very safe. I could've really hurt you."

"The time... Ah. I remember that. I was scared then, but I also trusted you. I trusted you because you have had so many opportunities to hurt me before that point that I couldn't believe you would start then. It turned out I was right. It was certainly an experience, but It was a fun one in the end." She smiled up at the night sky.

"It was still dangerous, what I did," Mark admitted. "Though I guess we have a safeword now."

"I still 'remember' it," she laughed. A nagging thought tugged at her. If they were going to be completely honest with each other, then she would have to tell him. She took a deep breath. "But I have a confession... and a request to make as well."

"What could you possibly have to confess?"

"The time we were in the alley? I felt something while you were... doing things to me," she finally turned to meet his eyes. "I don't know how to describe it, but it made me feel totally powerless. Everything you said that you wanted to do to me, I thought was the greatest idea ever. I felt like I was losing my sense of self, wanting to become whatever you wanted me to be. At the time, it felt incredibly good. But afterwards, I realized that it was terrifying. I also felt a similar but lesser feeling on the night when we played with ropes. I tried to pass it off as something caused by the collar you made me wear, but I knew it wasn't. Mark, I like what we do together. And I want us to keep doing it. But I'm scared of losing my mind. I need you to promise me that you won't mess with my head with anything permanent when I'm vulnerable."

Mark looked at her with concern. "I promise. But I need to ask you, when did you first start feeling like that?"

"Hmm? I just told you. The time in the alley."

"Are you sure? Do you remember the night we first met, in Carrou Forest? Did you feel it back then, before I arrived?"

"No. Back then I was just terrified. Though the collar made me feel things that I didn't want to feel, I still wanted to fight against those men tooth and nail, not submit to them."

He frowned. "I see. Okay. I promise I won't take advantage of you. I would never do that."

"Thank you," she smiled and looked back up to the stars.

After a moment, Mark spoke again with a hint of amusement. "'Anything permanent', huh?"

"Hey, I said I like what we do together, didn't I? And besides, I trust you." She glanced at him again.

"Do you?"

"In this, I do. I know we've been keeping secrets from each other, but... I don't know. In this, it feels justified."

Mark looked at Amanda with a smile and kissed her cheek. He, too, turned to the sky once again. "I'm glad. I think our biggest secret is behind us. Because of our positions, I'm sure there will be more secrets we have to keep from one another. But I will try to be as honest with you as possible. I will never willfully hurt you."

"Me too." She laid her head against his shoulder. "Though... what if I want you to?"

Mark laughed. "You know what I mean!"

They lay there in silence, staring at the stars. Listening to sound of crickets. Being content in each other's company until finally, some time later, Amanda pointed up towards the sky.