ADRIANNA
The woman's name was 'Hannah,' and she was a scout in Esmerelda Giana's rebellion. The force was made up primarily of women and the elderly, which had undoubtedly been laughable to the nobles of the Feractianas province when they'd first heard of it. They weren't laughing anymore. Esmerelda's army had swallowed entire swaths of the southern Highlands, moving untouched through estates that would've been armed to the teeth in peacetime. If the gentry of Feractianas had thought that an army of women could not be brutal, they were now dissuaded of that notion. Esmerelda was carving a name for herself.
I poked at the morning fire with a stick. The rolling hills of Feractianas shown like glitter in the dew-frost, catching the dawning sun in a trillion spectacular fractals. I hugged my knees beneath my robe, wishing for the first time in months that I had more clothes on. Hannah stirred in her sleeping bag. We were camped a few hundred yards off the road, deep in the brush so that no one could see our fire. It felt like ages since I'd last made one, but Thomas Adarian's old skills came back to me readily, and there was no smoke to signal our position.
As I tended the heat, I watched Hannah pretend to sleep, and I wondered what I was getting myself into with her. I could tell by the looks she stole, that she was more than just curious about me, but she never said anything, and I didn't press. Lesbianism wasn't as scorned in the Highlands as male homosexuality, but it was still a mark that would stick on her if she was ever caught, and I got the feeling that Hannah wasn't really gay; she just hadn't been with a man in quite a long time—if ever—and she was in the full bloom of her womanhood. She'd made little noises in her faux-slumber last night, soft moans and hushed gasps that weren't quite quiet enough for me to be ignorant of what was going on in her sleeping bag. It had made it damned hard to sleep myself, and I'd had to bite into my pillow and cure myself of insomnia with a few practiced caresses between my legs. I was much quieter than she was. She had tried to conceal her orgasm with a cough, while I played the veteran move, and ruffled my sleeping bag loudly to muffle the breathy hiss. Even afterward, neither of us slept the entire night. I didn't know what plagued her mind, but all I could see behind my waking eyes, were the faces of those I'd betrayed. I wondered if they'd ever let me sleep again.
"You're not fooling me, you know." I said.
She opened one eye. "Are you watching me?"
"Yes."
She scooched deeper in her sleeping bag, and rolled herself into a sitting position. The frost hung from her blonde hair, making it twinkle in the fire and sunlight. She assessed me with a critical eye. "Have you thought about what we talked about last night?"
"I have."
"And...?"
I prodded at the fire some more, nursing the flames back to life. "I told you, Hannah, I'm a traitor. The Dark Queen didn't send me here to help you. She doesn't even know your rebellion exists, or if she does, she doesn't care."
"But you—"
"There's nothing I can do for you." I said resolutely.
She sniffed, and scooched herself down the log to get nearer to the fire. We stared into the flames for minutes before she next spoke. "I heard..." she said pensively, "I heard that... there was rumor, anyway, that Thomas Adarian was captured by the Dark Queen, and... changed. That estate we were in... it was his by birthright."
I nodded.
"It's just strange that you were sent back to his estate, you know." Her eyes flicked to me.
"Thomas Adarian is dead, Hannah. Whatever rumors you heard were just rumors."
"You expect me to believe that?"
I smiled at her. "I don't really care what you believe."
She screwed up her lips. "I know who you are."
"You know nothing."
She bundled herself tighter in her sleeping bag, and glared at me from across the fire. "You think you're so much better than me, don't you?"
"Should I lie to you?"
She spat into the fire. "That's how I know you're Thomas Adarian! That undeserved sense of superiority that nobles have; why would it change just because your race did?" She leaned toward me, "Maybe you are better than me, Alkandran, but a hybrid of earthly means would still see me as an equal!"
"What do you know about hybrids?"
"I know about people!" She snapped, "Everyone thinks high-elves are all pompous peacocks, but it's just you nobles! The rest of us are humble folk, but the world doesn't know about us because we're tending the earth while you gallivant around and make us all look bad! And now that the screws are in, where are our allies? Nowhere to be found, because nobody likes us! So superior is our race, oh, yes-yes-yes, so pure, and elegant, and wise, and high-minded we are. That's why the poor starve while the rich are fat! That's why most of us have to scrape and claw while the few of us lounge and moan! Oh, I know exactly who you are,
Adrianna.
"
I opened my mouth, then closed it. Hannah's piercing blue gaze cut right through the fire, and I suddenly found it very difficult to meet it. "I uh... I'm sorry, Hannah." I muttered, "I didn't mean to be a bitch. You're right, on all accounts."
"So?" She asked sharply, "Are you going to help us make it right?"
"Make what right?" I asked, splaying my hands hopelessly, "What good will come of this? You tear down the structures of society, and then...? You think you'll get freedom, but you'll just get anarchy. Your rebellion isn't unjust, but it is misguided. Also, the whole part about Esmeralda chopping off the cocks of her prisoners is—"
"Lies by our enemies!" Hannah snapped.
"Even so, you see my point."
"The structures of society have already been destroyed. The new king abolished the Noble Court, and sends his army—our own sons, brothers and fathers—to kill us! If we don't stop him, all of us will be put under his heel. Esmerelda knew it was coming. She knew it was only a matter of time before those with most of the power took away what little the people had left. If you have any love at all for your country, you'll help us."
I put my head in my hands. "Why am I always called to duty? Even when I'm convicted of treason, I'm guilted with my loyalty!"
"Maybe someone up there is just giving you second chances." Hannah said, "You have a chance to do it right this time."