Mrs. Ruben set Matthew free in twelfth grade.
On the mountain, eighteen-year-old Matthew was a bold mighty lion. Charging the mountain-top he boasted his presence with a bellowed roar that started in his toes and exploded out his mouth. He used every opportunity to visit a local private park. He sneaked into restricted sections to climb granite outcroppings that were once quarried.
He rock climbed, bouldered and talus ran. He raced over changing terrain, jumping and kicking off the face of massive boulders, rocketing upwards, grasping and mantling the top and dropping down the other side without losing speed. Charging the peak he boasted a bellowed roar announcing his presence to the universe! HERE I AM! On the mountain, he was a bold mighty lion.
Socially, Matthew was a meek little mouse. Classroom group activities brought anxiety. He told himself he preferred to be alone, yet he yearned. From afar he watched them gab, and argue, and cry, and comfort, and laugh, and kiss, and hold hands. On occasion someone would try to engage him, but he spent little time in the real world; if he was not climbing or reading, he was daydreaming.
On those occasions he felt unceremoniously ripped from his continuous internal narrative. Frowning in concentration while making the switch--like a computer saving the state of one application before moving to the next--he'd replay the intruder's words in his mind trying to decipher what was meant. Frankly, the interruptions irritated him. While he thought he masked his annoyance well, the intruders thought otherwise.
He was a very handsome, fit, young man, it took courage for a young woman to approach him, and his interruption-frown embarrassed and humiliated. He was fast becoming a full-blown curmudgeon at the age of eighteen. Soon he had the reputation of being haughty and superior to mere mortals. Jokes and laughter would follow him.
He thought they simply laughed at the world's biggest loser. So he stuck his chin out and ignored them, which only confirmed their suspicions. So he avoided people; he retreated. He dragged his aching loneliness everywhere he went. On the mountain he was a bold, mighty, lion; in the presence of his peers, he was a meek little mouse.
The thought of his physical education teacher, Mrs. Ruben, comforted Matthew in his loneliness. Mrs. Ruben was in her early thirties and not physically beautiful. She had acne scars all over her cheeks. Her nose was a bit big, and not entirely straight. She put almost no effort into enhancing her looks meaning she didn't wear make-up and she always wore a track suit, yet, Mrs. Ruben starred in Matthew's dreams.
Mrs. Ruben earned her starring roles with kindness and generosity. She encouraged Matthew with praise and suggestions; she did that with all her students. He knew that, but her efforts resonated with Matthew. Hers was about lifting, not masking scorn with clever sarcasm. In other classes, even the teachers piled on. Matthew was intimidating with good looks, height and solid muscle mass. Once they recognized his weakness--his reluctance to engage--they exploited it. In her class, he was finally safe from ubiquitous disdain. She earned her special place in his heart.
Mrs. Ruben played the love interest in Matthew's day dreams: She stood alone; surrounded by circling thugs--not incidentally composed of Matthew's worst tormentors--they mercilessly berated, and goosed her. Emboldened by her isolation and increasing fear, the circle closed. Mrs. Ruben begged and pleaded, but this only encouraged the lecherous beasts. Trapped and whimpering, shaking with fear, she was about to surrender to their fiendish desires when one hero strode through the ring of sneering thugs to stand by her side.
The hero was hopelessly outnumbered yet he stood tall, chin up, and unconcerned. The gutless worms flinched at his squinting, steely-eyed gaze. Indomitable because he fought for love, his love, Mrs. Ruben. With righteous rage, he vanquished the thugs to the amazement of Mrs. Ruben; who was very grateful. The unsung hero was, of course, Matthew. His chest swelled with pride... but that was make-believe.
The daydreams were a comfort, but Matthew needed to act. He ached for Mrs. Ruben to see him, really see him. He knew on Tuesdays Mrs. Ruben, as the last one out, would make a final check of the showers and locker rooms. His plan was to wait in the shower, without the water running. So she would come in and find him naked... by accident.
This ingenious plan would inject an advantage from one of his worlds into the other. She would glimpse the lion in the mouse. He was muscular from rock climbing. Climbing turned his hands into calloused claws, built muscle and as for his pride, his package was generous. Matthew felt certain if she saw him naked, she would see a man, a well put together man. Whereas speaking to her would render him a ridiculous, stammering mess. This way, she would see what Matthew could offer. She would glimpse the bold mighty lion trapped inside the meek little mouse.
Matthew waited in the shower surrounded by baby blue tiles and shower nozzles. He meant to impress her with a little extra size, so he teased his organ a bit. Not enough for it to stand, just a bit of blood-flow. He heard her approach the showers. He froze under a shower head, shaking with anticipation when the realization hit--
THIS IS A STUPID PLAN!
With nowhere to run--the only exit blocked by Mrs. Ruben--he stifled a despairing moan and froze under a shower head. Mrs. Ruben reached into the shower for the switches and clicked the lights off without looking in. He stood in the dark, heart in his throat, unable to speak. He exhaled in relief, unfortunately, pumping adrenaline made the utterance a little too loud.
"Is someone there?" She asked. Wearing a light blue tracksuit with white stripes, she came back, turning on the lights. Mrs. Ruben's mouth opened with a soft pop. She gaped at his large erection bobbing with the beat of his heart. She knew she should look away, but it was so difficult.
Heat flushed her sex. She appreciated the tanned, unblemished skin of youth with his underlying musculature clearly defined. She acknowledged his overall shape: his narrow waist, wide shoulders and deep chest.
It's not fair!
She knew she had to resist him, but why did he have to be so magnificently built?
Matthew couldn't stop shaking, the tension was too great. In agony, he stared at her while she gaped at his erection. Then her crimson blush... he stifled the urge to howl in victory! He knew. Knew! She no longer saw him as one of her sexless students.
As Mrs. Ruben's perusal reached his electric blue eyes, she felt an inexplicable thrill, like being doused in cold water--a wide-eyed wakeup, a sudden intake of breath, skin tightening leaving a pleasant tingling in her most sensitive parts.
But his nervous, uncertain expression reminded her he was barely a man. The spell broken, she looked away, and cleared her throat. She assumed her teacher voice, told him to get dressed, and meet her in her office.
At eighteen Matthew's penis was like a prairie dog popping out of its hole at any provocation. Matthew stared at his aching, unplanned erection, and wondered how it got so hard. He reasoned it must have been the excitement.
Donning pants proved difficult for Matthew as his organ refused to settle and the activity only stimulated. In frustration, knowing Mrs. Ruben waited for him, he loosely enclosed his pants without buttoning the waist band leaving his glans sticking out. He loosely covered the affair by tenting his tee shirt. Attempting to walk in this ridiculous manner only further stimulated.
Mrs. Ruben sat at her office desk frowning, trying to collect herself. Her tiny lime green interior office had no windows, a few chairs, a desk and a white board. Buzzing fluorescents illuminated the room. She intended to grade papers; though she'd read the same answer five times, comprehension still eluded her; her mind was elsewhere.
