Purely Scientific Ch 01

Author's Note:

I put a line break in at the point where it gets ~sexy~, so you can jump straight to that if you want.

*

This is my first time writing anything adult; I am a very unsexy person and I'm not sure where the motivation for this came from, but here it is. I don't know anything about penises so if anything is glaringly off in my descriptions, let me know and I'll try to fix it! Thanks.

"Chip, show me your dick. It's for science."

At this statement, Christopher "Chip" Turner sat up in shock, bonking his head on the bunk above the one where he rested. He was a human in space with aliens, so he was aware that life would spring a few surprises upon him. Commands like this, however, were not a part of his expectation.

He tried to regain his composure. Instead, he tumbled out of his bunk like cereal shaken out of its box. He stood up, straightened out, pulled his shirt straight, and snapped to attention.

A pair of eyes, like two black marbles suspended in milk, peered up at him intently, blinking only so often as a cat's. Chip still has to get used to all of that; however, he was eternally glad that the aliens were at least humanoid in form. They were just like people, for the most part: only slightly smaller, and lithe. And purple. So, yes, it was different, but the physical traits were easy to accept. The things that came out of their mouth, sometimes, though. That was another story.

Here, the alien in question was one Chip knew somewhat. They went by the name Zoo, which was less weird than it sounded. Due to linguistic barriers, the aliens were easily able to learn human language, but things didn't operate easily the other way. Thusly, there was no term for their species other than "the aliens", and their native names couldn't be replicated by Earth tongues. Instead, each individual gave themselves a "human name". These names were usually random nouns that had nothing to do with actual naming conventions.

"I'm sorry," Chip said, realizing his train of thought had made a complete detour. "What, exactly, do you want?"

"I wanna see your dick," Zoo repeated with the same conviction. "I mean, I'm pretty sure that's what I'm looking for. I was told "dick" is the term for male genitalia."

"I mean. You're not wrong." He closed his eyes, sighed, and put his hands up. "Just, give me a second to think, please?"

Chip needed to figure this out. Interaction with aliens was hard at times, because humanity was new to the galactic scope of intelligent life, and culture clashing was inevitable. That's why he and Zoo (along with others) were on the ship in the first place; not to explore the cosmos, but to explore inter-species dynamics; for each party to learn about each other in a setting other than either's home planet, to remove any upper hand the other might have.

Zoo was a New Anthropologist; they studied humans socially, to help their species as a whole understand and adapt to their new intergalactic ally. Their excitement about their work made them easy to get along with, but lots of their questions didn't align with what humans considered acceptable to ask. Chip had to figure out how to correctly respond to such a loaded question.

While he thought, Zoo stared at Chip's raised hands. "Oh!" they exclaimed after a moment, misunderstanding his gesture. "Yes! Human handshake." They grabbed his right hand and shook wildly, the way one might shake a ketchup bottle to get more condiment out. Alien understanding of human customs was growing, but there was still a long way to go.

"Official greeting is out of the way. Am I allowed to see your dick now?" They beamed, revealing vaguely pentagonal teeth. Chip's mouth grew taut.

"Listen. Zoo. You have to give me a bit of context for what you're asking. Like. . . why you want to, in the first place."

"I'm reading up on some of the findings my colleagues have reported, and some of it pertains to human mating behaviour—and, honestly, I think whoever's giving them information is just garbage. Cause there is NO way the stuff I'm reading was true."

"Well, what kind of stuff did it say?"

"Gadzooks, where do I start? For one, it was all just confusing. Humans are monogamous, but sometimes not, and are expected to mate for life but rarely do; and the fact that you have different genders—which is wild enough on its own—is actually based on your sexual organs, except that isn't always true, either! And your mating partners depend on gender, but never in a succinct way. humans can't decide what they want!"

Chip laughed and ran a hand back through his curly dark hair. "Yeah, we're pretty weird."

"It also days that you wear clothes to hide your OUTER SEXUAL BITS."

"...Yes?"

"And you have nothing to say to that?! Having external reproductive parts? That's like me telling you I have a lung outside of my body. What the heck kind of shoddy design is that?! You don't even get all the parts, but the ones you do have are just—loose?!"

Chip recalled learning of the alien species' hermaphroditism. From their perspective, sex and gender must be wholly unnecessary complications.

"Yeah," he admitted, scratching the back of his head. "But, really only the cis males. And it's for temperature control, I think—it's been a while since I had biology, I'm sure the internet has better explanations for you, honestly."

Zoo shook their head, eyes wide. "No-o. The internet here won't let me see. It blocks all of the links that come up. That's why I want you—" they point at his crotch "to show me."

At the serious look in their face, Chip's smile lowered. Zoo—his coworker—seriously wanted him to just take his dick out for inspection?

"There are a lot of layers to unpack here, Zoo—"

"Not really. Just your uniform and boxers."

"That's not what I meant." Chip looked to the only door in and out of the sleeping quarters. It was closed, but another crew member could come in at any time. He lowered his voice.

"Humans are more . . . conservative as a species than your people are. We don't just show people our junk. That's usually reserved for, uh, mates."

"Oh!" Somewhere in the depths of those dark eyes, a flash of understanding sparked. Zoo put a hand to their neck. "What I just asked, then, was inappropriate."

Chip smiled embarrassedly. "A little."

"Ugh! That's so dumb. I mean, no offence, but why is that even a rule?"

"Mates are the only ones who would be, uh. "Using" those parts?"

"Sexual intercourse, yes, I'm aware. But in times outside of your breeding cycle, it should be fine, right?"

"We don't have breeding cycles."

That earned Chip a few moments of shocked silence. Then, Zoo exclaimed loud enough for practically the whole galaxy to hear: "Then how do you fuck?!?!"

Chip had to hand it to the aliens. Their eloquence with human language rivalled that of most native speakers.

"We just do it when we want to?"

Zoo sputtered. "When you WANT to? So if you wanted to, right now, you'd be ready for intercourse."

"I mean—"

"Or tomorrow morning. Or in the dining hall. Or in the middle of a breech of the ship's force fields."

"—I wouldn't during—"

"Or if we stopped on one of the nearby moons, you could do it then. Or even while we flew directly into a sun!"

"I'd have to be horny for it, jeez!"

"But you have the potential to get horny. All. The. Time. Gadzooks, no wonder human mating is so complicated. If we did it as much as you guys do, we'd need to find ways to make it more interesting, too."

Chip laughed. Zoo just seemed in awe. They grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, bouncing on their feet. "Please, please, please. You have to show me."

"Zoo! I really can't."

"Why not?"

"I told you; it's inappropriate."

"Inappropriate for humans. I'm not a human. Please? I'm not trying to mate with you, I promise."

That earned another chuckle. At the sound, they squeezed his hand tighter.

"Besides, isn't this appealing as a human? You want someone to be interested in your . . . junk, you called it. Right?"

Chip shrugged, looking away. He happened to stare at the door again. He considered it, then realized he was considering it, then shook his head. He wasn't actually going to do this. . . right?

The normal part of his brain said of course not. The part of him that had been on the ship for a few months now, surrounded by people, without any chance to "be interested in" himself . . . thought it wouldn't be so bad. And it was true, Zoo had only a scientific fascination. To them, it was like getting to examine a limb. It would be completely professional and acceptable. And it would make them so happy.

Chip bit the inside of his cheek. "Just. Just for a second, alright? And maybe don't tell anyone about it."

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"Yes!" Zoo actually jumped with joy, then, like a pupil waiting for a lesson, sat at his feet, legs crossed and hands tapping their legs excitedly.

Chip sighed and sat down on his bunk, glad that it was the bottom one. He'd feel weird sitting on anyone else's bed for this. He looked down, drummed his thighs with his fingers, and gave himself a last time to chicken out. Then he did it.

It wasn't a big deal, really. The ship's uniforms were utilitarian, navy blue pants with matching shirts. He unzipped and took his dick out.

Zoo instantly burst into laughter, rocking back and laying down on the floor.

"Hey!" Chip said. "Way to be insensitive."

"I'm—sorry!" They responded, trying to sit up but cracking up at their second sight of human genitalia. "It's just—look at it! That's so crazy!" They got up and crawled close to Chip's lap, until their face was right in front of his cock. Chip could feel the breath expelled from their alien lungs; colder than human exhalation, definitely, but the attention was enough that he felt his body warming. He started getting hard; a spike of embarrassment pierced the core of his brain, but he tamped it down, assuring himself that Zoo wouldn't know enough to recognize the effect they were having.

In fact, now that Zoo was done laughing, they seemed too enraptured to notice much outside what they were staring at. They shifted around, viewing the penis from different angles. Eventually, they settled with leaning one arm on Chip's thigh, leaning their head on that arm, and gazing at the cock like one might view a television show they were half-watching.

"So, this means you're a cis male, right?"

"Yeah," Chip said.

"I thought so. I mean, eventually I did. It's so hard to tell. First assigned gender off of hair length, but that doesn't work very often. Then, I realized that the ones that were 'pretty' seemed to be females. But that doesn't work for you."

They said it so nonchalantly that Chip almost missed it; his brain snapped into focus again as he analyzed what they said. Were they calling him pretty? It only added to the blush that was grazing his neck. Before he could process it all, though, Zoo took their free hand and pointed at his dick head. "What's this part of it for?"

Chip forced his brain to think professionally, and he answered Zoo's anatomy questions the best he could, while their hand hovered over different parts of his slowly-growing cock. Eventually, Zoo's brow furrowed, and they asked something slightly different.

"Is it supposed to be doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Y'know. Going up." They held their free arm straight up in the air, emulating the motion.

Chip's shoulders squared and he pulled himself more into the bed, away from Zoo. "Sorry," he said, throat thickening with the instant sludge of embarrassment. The alien only frowned.

"What? Is it bad?"

"No, I—I'm getting hard."

"Does it hurt?"

"No—well, if left too long—no, I mean, no. Zoo, this is inappropriate. I shouldn't have said yes to you, I'm sorry."

He started to pack himself back in his pants, but Zoo put a firm hand on either of his thighs, keeping them open. They got to their knees, to get closer to Chip's face.

"No, wait. This is, like, a "getting ready to mate" thing, isn't it?"

Chip nodded, avoiding eye contact.

"Well. Really, learning more of the details of human mating could be useful to my research."

"Zoo—"

"I'm serious! And you'd only be helping me with my scientific curiosity, right? Even if not, this whole situation is my fault, and you said that it hurts—"

"I didn't mean like that—"

"I should help. Come on." They sat back down, face close to crotch again. They smiled and looked up. "What do I do?"

"Uhhhhh," Chip said, effectively conveying the thoughts in his head.

"Come on, man. Help me out here. Can I touch it?"

"That would, uh, be a good start."

Zoo frowned at the cock, trying to discern the best way to grab it. They reached out and held it by the shaft, lightly, and gently angled it around, as if a control panel might appear somewhere on its side. Some instructions, any information on what to do.

"You could try, uh . . . ." Chip wrapped his hand around theirs and tried guiding their movements, up and down, until Zoo was rubbing him base to tip at a steady motion. Already Chip could feel heat building within him, small and shining like a new star. He closed his eyes, but after a while the motion stopped.

"What's happening now?" Zoo cocked their head, examining the slit of his cock as it dropped precum. Chip helped move their hand to collect it, then getting them to a massage the tip for a few moments before going back to the motion from before, now with added lubrication. With a little coaxing, Zoo picked up the pace. Chip ground his bottom lip between his teeth and a moan seeped from his throat.

"Is that a good noise?" Zoo asked.

"Very good," he answered. He barely got the words out before choking on surprise; of their own volition, Zoo leaned forward and took his cock head into their mouth, sucking lightly as they continued to slowly jack him off.

Their large eyes flicked up to him, awaiting approval. He gave it by putting a hand to the back of their head, sinking fingers into their short, lilac hair, and coaxing them gingerly to take more of him inside of their mouth. With his other hand, he guided their hand to his balls, to lightly massage them as they experimented with the dick now probing between their lips.

Chip watched intently, turned on but also concerned for Zoo's attitude towards this. He was average size, and only a bit more than the tip of his cock was in their mouth, but he had no idea if there was an alien equivalent to what Zoo was doing right now. He didn't want to push them further than they were willing to go.

For their part, though, Zoo performed spectacularly. They understood without instruction that the general goal was to work as much of the shaft into their mouth as they could, and as Chip started gently thrusting, they followed by bobbing along with his movements. They were only about halfway to taking his cock, but they used their other hand in tandem as they continued to feel up his balls with the original. They smiled around the dick in their mouth; although they weren't sexually aroused by the proceedings, they clearly found it all enjoyable: a mixture of amusing, confusing, and excitingly new.

Chip, meanwhile, was dealing with the layers of arousal that the situation was causing him. Not only was he getting off for the first time in months, but he was doing so with someone he probably shouldn't be—it added excitement to the endeavour. Then, the reality struck him, and it overshadowed everything else: the truth was, he was receiving head from an alien. He was probably the first human in history to engage in sexual behaviour with extraterrestrial life. And, god, it was good.

Zoo was well-known around the ship already for for being curious and good at adapting to new scenarios; this situation wasn't anything different. And their mouth; god, their mouth. As they continued, their more-viscous-than-human saliva started seeping out and drooling down their chin; their tongue was textured softer than a cat's, but the sensation it caused along the bottom of his shaft was palpable and transcendent. Chip pulled out enough to watch Zoo automatically lean forward, tongue out and chasing its prize, pointed tip remaining touched to his skin until their whole mouth met back to his cock and they took it in again.

If Chip had any fears regarding his decision, they were swept to the corners of his mind. He grabbed the shelf of the bunk above him, using it as leverage as he carefully but steadily thrust into the sloppy, amazing alien mouth that so graciously allowed itself to be used; he gasped with every pump back between those purple lips and almost got too carried away. He groaned: "Shit, Zoo, I'm gonna cum."

Zoo ignored him. They didn't know what that meant; all they knew was that Chip was enjoying what they were doing. They hummed a monosyllabic response, not meaning anything by it, not stopping.

"I'm serious, Zoo. I'm close, you gotta get off."

Zoo wasn't listening, and neither was Chip's body. It took him a moment to work up the resolve to stop Zoo; by the time he cupped a hand along their jaw and backed them off, the star of arousal inside of him went supernova. His other hand gripped his sheets, and he shot his cum against Zoo's jaw and down the front of their uniform.

Panting, he regained himself and looked into the eyes of the startled alien, who thumbed some of the substance off of their chin and held it up to inspect.

"Genetic Material?"

"Yeah," he breathed.

"Weird how it looks like cake frosting."

"It's not." Chip grinned. "Trust me."

Zoo looked at him, looked at the thumb, then stuck it into their mouth. Instantly, they spat it out. "Agh! Yuck, no, definitely not."

Chip chuckled. He looked Zoo over, though, and his brow furrowed. Saliva and "genetic material" coated their chest and the bottom half of their face. "We've gotta get you cleaned up."

"Huh? Oh, don't worry, I have a spare uniform stowed in my bunk. I'll wipe everything off on the shirt and sneak it down to the cleaning room when the janitor takes her smoke break. Once it's in the machines, nobody will notice."

"You're quite prepared." He raised an eyebrow. "You weren't planning this, were you?"

Zoo snorted. "Gadzooks! No, I just sneak desserts from the cafeteria a lot. I'm a bit of a messy eater."

"Yeah. I see that."

Chip felt the pressure in his throat of more to say. Zoo was already up and getting cleaned off, however. Chip pulled himself back into his uniform and watched as Zoo got their mess under control and balled the soiled top under their arm to take to the cleaning room.

"Thanks for the help, Chip," they said, giving a friendly wave as they headed out. Numbly, Chip returned the gesture. He stayed there, frozen, for a good few moments after he was left alone. Already, he knew he couldn't get over this.

After what he and Zoo has done together, he couldn't return it to normal. He'd need to find a way to have it happen again.