Pruriential Paladin Ch 00 Pt 09

I'll attempt to change the other titles to match this format going forward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~scriggles~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time Bridget, Devin and I returned with our new charges in tow, Kaikadi had worked out a plan to house the wayward guild and used Lily and her Pink Ladies to implement it.

The result had left the militant woman staring at the newly decorated palace from the fountain at the center of the square when we arrived, grinding her teeth and groaning in a simple white uniform not unlike my own. Though where mine bore my mother's red glyph over my breast, hers bore mine in purple

"I did NOT tell her to do THAT." She spat the words like poison as she pointed towards the renovated palace, which now looked more like child's dollhouse than the creepy-as-fuck murder-mansion it had before.

I chuckled, "Well, it is an improvement..."

She stabbed me with her steely eyes and stopped grinding her teeth again long enough to spit, "The inside is worse."

I turned to Faeravin and found the dark elf also staring incredulously at the newly pink building, "It looks like Barbara's Dreamhouse and the Presidential Mansion had a baby..."

Devin raised an eyebrow at the drow's words, "That is so weird... I was gonna say Barbie's Fantasyhome and the White Palace..."

I shrugged at the elves' equally confused faces, and offered a quick explanation. "We call it reality bleed. Your worlds are similar, but not the same. This 'Barbara' is probably a deity somewhere, and their presence leaked across both of your worlds." Pulling the conversation back onto the tracks, I focused on the drow. "As for the palace, I'm sure I can get her to modify the palette. Well.. pretty sure." Hopefully.

My slimy little princess could be down right obstinate when she wanted to be...

The drow shook her head and sighed, "It's just...

very

pink."

She wasn't wrong.

Even the formerly grey stone of its base had been either painted or transmuted pink, along with the walls, the windows, the steps, the roof, the chimneys. All various shades of vibrant pink. And from what I could see, every window now had pink drapes, and even pink lighting shining behind them...

Turning to Kai, I asked, "Are the lights-"

She cut me off without looking at me, "All pink. Everything. She even transmuted the tiles..."

A loud gasp behind me told me her guildmates had caught up and seen their new home, and I turned to find an ogre smiling in wonder.

"OHMYGOD! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!" His words bellowed like a roar, but with the giddy tempo of an ecstatic fanatic. The ogre wasn't alone with his clapping hands and sparkling eyes as half a handful of others smiled while the rest were taken aback at best.

While I didn't want to make any assumptions, I was guessing from their reactions and observations I'd made during our return that at least a few had found themselves in bodies that not only didn't match their original species, but also their anatomical sex. "Bridget, do you think you can brew or bake some things to help our new friends feel more like themselves?"

The blonde serial killer raised an insulted eyebrow, so I quickly added, "I meant would it fit into your schedule."

Her pinched smile became a smirk as she sighed and rolled her eyes, "You're fucking lucky you're pretty, you know that?"

I matched her smirk and wiggled my own eyebrow at the uncharacteristic compliment, "I do."

The self proclaimed lesbian bit her lip, then narrowed her eyes as she read the smugness in mine, "Dinner tonight. You and me. We have shit to talk about." Shifting her eyes to Devin, she added, "Both of you."

Sensing her sudden unease, I wiped my smile clean of anything but respect and nodded. "Of course, Lady Bridget."

The short blonde snorted a laugh, "Bro, call me a 'lady' again and I'll punt your balls into your throat."

I chuckled as she turned to depart for the inn, "Understood." Her reply came in the form of a rude gesture I knew she didn't mean as she swayed her hips, showing off her curves as she swaggered away.

Faeravin's voice tore my gaze away from the lethal woman's leather clad backside a few moments later, "Umm... Now that you've mentioned food..." Her stomach growled audibly, drawing more chuckles from everyone except Kai, "Sorry, I haven't eaten since breakfast. And I know plenty of my guildies have poor eating habits as well..."

Devin responded to the blushing dark elf before I could, "Oh he didn't mean normal food, but we have plenty of that too." Turning to the silver haired Kai, she raised an eyebrow, "I assume..." The ginger elf let her words fall away.

And the grizzled human woman finished for her with a smile, "That I anticipated the need to feed a dozen or so floodworlders with no supplies of their own? Yes, yes I did."

The freckled elf scrunched her nose and smiled, "You're the best Kadi! You should come to dinner, too." Kai and I both opened our mouths, but she spoke over both of us, "I'll talk to Bridget, it'll be fine. She loves you just as much as I do, she's just not very good at showing it."

I closed my mouth and shared a shrug with Kai, "She's not wrong."

The laconic woman huffed, but nodded before turning back to Faeravin as the rest of her guild approached while chatting with two pink-clad knights, "Come on, let's get some chow in you guys." Shifting her eyes to me, she added, "Our civilian administrator, Linnea, has a presentation for you as well."

-- -- -- -- --

The common room of the inn had been rearranged to accommodate a small stage, presently occupied by a podium specifically designed for small folk.

Behind that podium, a two foot tall halfling woman wearing denim trousers and a simple white shirt began her presentation with a professional tone, lacking her typical drawl. "Welcome! And know that you are safe."

I ate my food and kept my focus on the halfling as she explained again, and in better detail, their new reality. After that, she went on to demonstrate the usage and utility of various common magical items, and explain why they should wait until they'd been trained properly before attempting to use their own new powers.

The wayward guild watched with their jaws on the floor as she shifted her garments to an elegant white dress, and then a swimsuit that showed off a surprisingly toned and muscular body.

Meeting my eyes, the scantily clad halfling blushed but smiled confidently as she continued. "As I said before, our Lord, Brother Dilin, is kind, just and merciful. But you should know he is a paladin of joy, and his mother was originally a goddess of lust and passion."

"His aura is quite potent, and he is presently suppressing it. When you feel it, you can choose to deny it and it will not have an effect." She raised an eyebrow at me and smiled, "Brother Dilin, if you would be so kind as to release yourself for me?"

I opened my mouth to argue, but as usual was cut off before I could.

"Your aura is subversive, and they should know what to expect when they encounter it." The halfling's smile told me resistance was futile, and she made a good point regardless.

So I sighed, and released the bonds I'd bound around my soul and the room immediately filled with gasps and moans.

For me, it was like I could suddenly take a full breath again and sense a sweetness in the air I couldn't before. I could feel the health of every single person in the room, and the building, and the square. I could taste their arousal if I chose to, and hear the song of their souls if I listened close enough.

But I refrained, and kept my attention on the halfling now biting her lip as her nipples threatened to pierce her 'swimsuit' top, ignoring the faces now turned to me with lust in their eyes.

Linnea winked at me before continuing with a purr in her voice, "I hear it's even better when he's actually inside you, but I haven't yet been honored by his massive cock!" Feigning embarrassment, she slapped her hands over her mouth and giggled, "Oops! Sometimes it can make you a little too honest!"

The room chuckled awkwardly as she grew more serious, "Now, simply wish to not have our Lord inside you and the feeling will be gone."

Devin snorted next to me as I groaned at the halfling's wording, and felt only two manage to resist from the effect. Raising my hand first, I clarified. "All you have to do is think, 'stop' at it."

Devin quickly added, "It's easier if you remember that you can turn it back on, too!" Several more resisted the effect quickly, with others managing to slowly, but before they could all do so my attention was drawn to a soul behind me I didn't recognize as Linnea continued her speech.

"And now that our Lord has seen that we can all make our own decisions, he can more comfortably be himself. As he would want for each of us. This is his domain, after all." With a gesture, her skimpy attire became the simple denim and cotton shirt it had been as she turned back to the crowd, "Which brings me to my next point, his exhibitionism..."

It was my turn to blush as I leaned to Devin, "Try to be subtle, but is there someone on the stairs behind us?"

Devin turned in her seat to look up at me, pursing her lips for a kiss which I promptly gave as her eyes darted for the stairs. She let out a small squeal of surprise as I pierced her lips with my tongue, then melted into me as I found hers and we danced. Taking her face into my hands, I stroked her cheeks with the thumb of one while the other slid up her slender ear to stroke its sensitive tip.

Her body tensed as I felt her arousal blaze, quivering as her hypersensitive body brought her to the brink of orgasm within moments. Enhanced by my aura, the need in the gorgeous, ginger elf's eyes for release called to me and became my purpose for breathing.

Rolling the sensitive tip of her long ear in my fingers, I tightened my grip on her face and growled a moan down her throat, then sucked her tongue into mine and the air from her lungs as she squealed, shuddered, and gently came as I sucked her deep and breathed air full of passion. Then filled her again with my love as I moaned with her pleasure.

Her hands found my shoulder and chest as her tongue came to life in my mouth, squeezing my flesh tight and pressing her nails into me as she moaned through her aftershocks while my cock throbbed in his sheath. Before taking her tongue back suddenly as she breathlessly whispered. "We have an audience, husband."

I smiled and kissed her lips, "Wife."

Her face became a crimson blush as her smile became infinitely more gorgeous each moment, sparkling with love, joy, and wonder.

Her nose scrunched, "You can't take it back now, I have witnesses."

Tearing my eyes away from her sparkling emeralds, I found a room of onlookers gauping. Half of them had reactivated the effects of my aura, and the halfling on the stage behind them was biting her lip and shuddering with one arm hidden behind the podium she now leaned against.

I shrugged at their stares and smiled awkwardly, "Um... Sorry?" It was just a kiss, after all. Mostly... "Are marriages private things on your world?"

Devin leaned her head on my shoulder and giggled, then whispered, "Arika's mother is on the stairs, watching."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise at her words, and I felt for the tortured woman's soul reflexively to assess her health. What I found was a body in perfect condition, healed from whatever torment she'd suffered while her soul was being consumed, and a blazing pyre of need and desire.

I could practically feel her eyes burrowing into me as Linnea brazenly lifted her hidden hand to her lips and licked her fingers clean, purring between her slurping suckles as her drawl returned, "Like I was sayin', this here inn's gonna be our Lord's domain. Y'all get the big house to yerselfs, but we expect that you'll take in any more that comes along. He'll keep his aura tight if he comes over there, but over here we do as we please. Yer all adults, make her own decisions."

A long-limbed trollish woman raised her hand, and Linnea acknowledged her with a gesture. "I'll have what she's having." The room erupted into snorting laughter as the tension and disbelief shattered.

Linnea began passing out the trinkets she'd demonstrated for the floodworlders to play with, her professional voice returning as the halfling leapt from table to table, "Remember, think with intent. Speak to it like it's a person."

Catching the halfling's attention, I waved a goodbye and received a wink and a blown kiss before she warned me with her eyes of our watcher on the stairs. Nodding my thanks, I winked back at the survivor and she returned to her work without missing a beat.

Devin stood with me and slid her arm around my waist as we made for the stairs, calling out to the pale, scarred woman as she attempted to slip away, "It's Portia, right?"

She tensed and I knew I'd made a mistake immediately as she snapped, "No. Portia means 'pig'. That's what he always called me. My name was Seraliel, before my grace was torn from me."

I stopped at the base of the stairs as she spoke, but Devin wore a gentle smile and continued on to offer her hand to the pale woman, "I'm Devin. It's nice to meet you. Can I call you Sera, or do you prefer Seraliel?"

I hid my wince as the angel took her hand, shaking it with an awkward smile, "I know you mean well, Devin, but Seraliel died long ago."

Touching Devin's back, I clarified the woman's words. "An angel's grace is their soul. The body that remains is an entirely different being, with its memories and form. She's not being euphemistic, she is not Seraliel."

The angel smiled for the first time with a wicked smirk and her golden eyes sparkled as she watched for Devin's reaction. "I'm her corpse."

Devin smirked back and ogled the nearly nude woman, "Pretty hot, for a corpse..."

The angel narrowed her eyes and cocked her head back as she folded her arms with a smile, "And you're pretty bold, for an elf."

"Did it hurt?" The odd question confused me, but I could practically feel Devin giddy with delight as the golden eyed woman and I looked at each other in confusion.

"Excuse me?"

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

The elf immediately burst into laughter as I tried to explain, "That's not how..." The entire room followed as they used their new trinkets to eavesdrop.

Even the angel joined as everyone got the joke but me, "She thinks I fell! I forgot how funny floodworlders are..."

"But that's not.." Her eyes narrowed and I recognized a look of recognition I'd seen many times before.

"Imagine a universe where it does, would you not ask?"

Still confused, I shook my head and pointed at the six golden tattoos that wrapped each limb and her ribs to her thighs. "Not if you still had wings? I mean, wouldn't you just.. land?"

The angel chuckled and sighed, "You're lucky you're pretty, aren't you?"

I laughed at a joke I'd heard a hundred times, "Yes ma'am, I am."

"C'mon then, pretty boy. Let's go wake up my daughter."

-- -- -- -- --

Now that we'd been moved into the inn properly, I had a room with a bed that fit six and a few couches of strategic design from my collection.

The angel smirked in appreciation, "You live comfortably. Are you a glutton?"

I nearly shook my head, then nodded. "I am. But my appetite does not control me." The angel wandered off as I spoke, inspecting a blade that caught her eye.

Devin took the opportunity to ask a question, "It's kinda weird that she's so.. normal. Right?"

I shook my head, "They don't really

do

mental trauma. I've never even heard of psionics working on one."

Arika watched her mother inspect the longsword with a sigh, "Well I think it's weird." Folding her scarlet arms of her naked breasts, she huffed, "She didn't even hug me..."

Sensing a problem I could solve, I pounced. "Do you need a hug?"

She smiled and instantly relaxed, "No baby, I don't need a hug."

Well fuck. Back to lost, then.

Devin had more questions, which at least gave me something to do. "Why does she have six wings and you have two? And I thought you were half-devil and half-human?"

I wiped my face and groaned at the ignorant question, "She is. Arika never got a chance to know the woman that gave birth to her. She never had a chance to..."

Arika was apparently not appreciative of my verbal tiptoeing, "He's trying to say I tore her apart when I was born, but he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. Portia is the only mother I ever knew."

I raised my hand slightly and gingerly corrected her, "She doesn't use that name anymore..."

The horned woman burned me with her fiery eyes as she snapped back, "Great! How about I just keep calling her MOM then?!"

The angel laughed and put the sword back down gently, "You may call me as you like Arika, and I'm sorry I didn't hug you. I'll try to remember more often."

The door to the room opened and Bridget entered, towing Kai behind her. "Alright, we need to talk about the who fuck is in charge of this cluster-FUCK, YOU'RE HOT!"

I sighed as the short blonde gawked at my mother-in-law, or maybe my stepgrandmother-in-law? Maybe if I wanted to get murdered...

The moment my mother-in-law had learned from her daughter that the modesty of her garments was unnecessary, she'd stripped them away. And I couldn't disagree with the blonde as she ogled the golden haired seraphim's sculpted, curvy body.

Devin spoke to break the tension as the angel stared at the short woman intently, "Bridget meet-"

"Brenda." The angel, Brenda, brushed past the tiny killer's offered hand and wrapped her in a hug, "I'm happy to meet all of my grandson's wives!"

"REALLY!? You hug

her

first?!" Arika seethed and gnashed her teeth as her tail whipped furiously.

Meanwhile Bridget stared at me with terror in her eyes as the angel buried her face between her breasts as she gulped, "Help me?!"

I forced a chuckle in hopes of de-escalating the potentially volatile situation. "Brenda, could you please let her go? Also, I'm pretty sure she's not my wife." Turning to Arika I asked, "She's like me, isn't she?"

Arika snorted and folded her arms as Brenda released Bridget. "How the fuck do you think I knew how to deal with your ass?"

I kept my voice calm, and gave her the smile I knew she loved. "Then you know she didn't mean anything by it, and only hugged her so that she won't forget to hug you again?"

The cambion deflated and whipped her tail into her hand as she growled, "I do now..."

Turning to Brenda, I sighed. "Please hug your daughter. She was lying when she said she didn't need one, she just didn't need one from me."

Brenda surprised us all as her six golden tattoos grew into feathery wings that beat once together to throw her across the room and onto her daughter's lap, wrapping her in a hug with all ten of her limbs. And then began to tickle her furiously with all of them a moment later, "Who loves tickles!"

Arika screamed, "NO! YOU BITCH! GET OFF ME!" But broke down into laughter that wasn't only inspired by the angel's tickles as she playfully fought back.

Bridget stared slack jawed as the two nude women fought, Arika unfurling her own leather wings to utilize the spikes at their tips. "So bro... if we got married you wouldn't give a shit if I fucked your grandma, right?"

I stared with her dumbfounded and replied, "She's not my grandma..." The tickling duo slammed into the ceiling as their reunion went airborne, "So anyway, dinner?"

Kai tore her hand free of Bridget's and dashed my hopes of escape as she fixed her uniform. "It's being brought up. And I still don't know why I'm here."

Bridget growled, "You're here because you're family! Get over it!"

I shrugged and the silver haired woman laughed as she fell onto a couch, "You two are a mess..."

Bridget sat on the taller woman's lap and leaned in to kiss her as she purred, "But you love us anyway." Her moans seemed to acknowledge her agreement as she filled her hands with the small woman's thick ass and returned her kiss with a smile.