Names changed to protect identities. This is not a real story, but many elements of it have really happened at one time or another.
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It's been a really hot day here at the Rennaissance Festival. With the 100+ pounds of armor I'm wearing, I've been sweating the entire day, and the metal exterior has me baking in the heat. But the combat demonstration must go on, and you've come to see today for the first time what all the fuss is about.
You see us take the field, and as the individual combats begin, you realize that this is for real. We're using blunted swords, but there's no choreography or beautifully rehearsed interplays. We are seasoned swordfighters trying to land heavy blows on each other and win. The fight only ends when one of the fighters is to battered or exhausted to continue. You suddenly understand why this show is so popular; the crowd loves the visceral rawness of the violence, and every observer is screaming for the favorite knight to win.
After a few fights, I stride into the combat arena to take my turn. You can tell its me, because my beard flows out under my distinctively colored helmet. As I take the field, you hear a distinct change in the crowd's attitude; it seems I'm the favorite of many in the crowd.
"OHMYGOD ITS HIM WITH THE BEARD!". A woman screamed out. Another one shrieked and exclaimed, "OH ITS SIR BRUCE KICK HIS ASS MY LORD!"
You're quietly amused by the reaction. You didn't realize I was so popular. Then the fight begins.
I'm not the most skilled fighter that has taken the field. Some are faster and some are stronger. But I'm one of the more precise. I pick apart my opponent's defense, luring him in with fakes and parrying his blows into openings through which I rain counter blows. And my blows are solid and loud. The field rings with the sound of my sword clashing repeatedly into my opponent's helmet, with each hit echoing like a church bell and adding to his disorientation and fatigue.
Realizing that his sword work is insufficient to counter mine, my opponent rushes me, seeking to engage in a more personal form of close combat. Unfortunately for him, I have nearly a foot of height advantage over him and out-weigh him by a solid 80 pounds. As he charges in, I plant my feet, lean forward, and throw my shoulder directly into the center of his mass.
There's a spectacularly large crack of metal on metal as my shoulder plates make contact with his chest plate. The impact was hard enough to destabilize both of us, but I recovered quicker. As he staggered back, I gained my footing and charged forward, driving my knee up into his groin and following up with a solid punch straight into the side of his helmet. With a crack and a thud, he stumbled to the ground, and I pinned him there with my sword against his neck.
"Your winner, Sir BRUCE!" The announcer calls out. The crowd goes wild. The fight was heavy and fierce and violent in all the ways that appeal. "Ladies and gentlemen, the fights are over, but now we're at the meet-and-greet part of the show! That's right, our knights are coming out into the audience! Take pictures, hold the swords, feel the armor! It's all real, folks!"
As the announcer finishes talking, I take off my helmet and carefully pick my way over the safety ropes that denote the edge of the battle field. My face is flushed and covered in rivers of sweat and dirt and sand, and my hair is matted and unkempt from the impacts of the fight.
Immediately, I'm rushed by fans. You notice a pattern; fighters that won their matchups get much more attention than fighters that did not. And the attention we do get, we're eating up. It's clear to anyone who's observing that we do this for the crowd, for the adulation, for the reflected martial glory in their faces.
Most fans want their pictures taken with the knight. You notice that I prioritize the small children, but I do eventually get to everyone. But then...
"OHMYGOD ITS HIM SIR BRUCE OH MY GOD I HAVE TO TOUCH THE BEARD!!!!" The distinct sound of a Fair patron, massively drunk, cuts through the hubbub. As you watch, a group of 3 women, who clearly don't understand the difference between drinking mead and drinking beer, descend on me. They're hugging me and rubbing against my armor and talking about how strong I must be and how fit my body must be. While it's clear that I'm enjoying the attention, there's a time and a place, and this is neither. I try to make excuses about being out of time, and back away, but they're not sober enough to take a hint. "SIR BRUCE TAKE ME BACK TO YOUR TENT AND SHOW ME YOUR DRAGON SLAYER!!!!"