I have a secret. Her name's Kelly.
Walking home after a party in my hometown at the height of summer. I always took a shortcut through the woods to my parents' house when crossing from the east to west side of town. Yeah it was secluded and you felt a bit exposed, but it was a small town and violent crime was unheard of; everyone knew everyone. The kind of place where half the town didn't even lock their doors.
I'd spent most of then party hanging around with the guys, my oldest friends, drinking and making bad attempts to flirt with the girls who were present. I'd never been good at that kind of thing! About half I knew from school, while the rest were either girlfriends of other guys who'd come home for the party or friends of the girls from school.
It was kind of an informal reunion party, everyone was either from my school year or the one above and below. All towards the late end of late 20s.
I was single at that time. I'd had a few girlfriends, but nothing really serious. I wasn't a virgin but I wouldn't have called myself 'experienced', only having had a few sexual relationships none of which lasted more than a week or two.
I'd walked this way to my parents' house a hundred times before, back when I used to think of it as 'my house'. But this particular night was different.
I noticed a light in the sky. Kind of blue coloured, it looked like it might have been a helicopter since it didn't move like a plane. I paid it no mind and kept walking.
It grew bigger. It was wierd because there was no sound, I was in the middle of nowhere so you could've heard a pin drop (as they say), but there was no noise from this 'aircraft'.
It started to get really bright, like sunlight level brightness, though with a blue tinge. I had a brief moment of "WTF?" and then...
I woke up in my old bedroom at my parents' house. Huh?
To be fair, it wasn't the first time that I couldn't quite remember how I got home. But I hadn't drunk
that
much, had I?
Hmm. Hang on, what was the deal with that blue light? Maybe I'd dreamt that? I checked that my phone and wallet were present, and decided it was wierd but no harm done.
The rest of the day was uneventful, Sunday lunch with my folks was littered with the usual "When are you going to find a nice girl and settle down?", and "Why don't you move back here if you don't have to actually go to work any more?"
We said goodbye with hugs, I took some of my mother's home made pie with me then started the two hour drive back to the city and my apartment.
It was a public holiday on the Monday but then Tuesday I'd be back to work, albeit sat at my desk in the lounge.
Post-pandemic I was lucky enough to be still working at home, which saved me at least 90 minutes of travel time every day.
It was early evening when I arrived home and despite the upcoming day off I decided to take it easy. I was still tired after last night. Strangely I felt exhausted, though it hadn't been a manic night at all. All thoughts about the walk home and that wierd light were gone at this point.
So Netflix, Domino's, a glass of wine (I'm not middle class, honest!) and bedtime before midnight.
I had wierd dreams. I couldn't fully recall them the following day, but there was a girl, a tall girl, and that blue light.
I woke up feeling... strange. That was the only word for it. Strange.
I pulled myself out of bed. Sat on the bedside in the half light, wearing my usual nighttime t-shirt I looked at the clock. Nearly midday! Wow, a full twelve hours. I'm usually a six to seven hour guy.
I practically stumbled into the bathroom and sighed as I pulled the drawstring to turn the light on.
"What the..."
It wasn't an aversion to foul language that stopped me, but rather two other things. My voice sounded completely wrong, and the face staring back at me in the mirror wasn't mine!
I nearly jumped out of my skin!
"What..."
Again, that wasn't my voice! Well, it kind of was my voice, but sounded...
"Hello... hello... what?" I watched the face in the mirror mouthing my words, only they weren't
my
words. I was saying them but a woman was actually voicing them.
I stared into the mirror for a few seconds and then laughed. She laughed too.
"OK, very funny. Who's prank is this?
Danny?" Certainly Danny was the only person I knew who could pull something like this off, having worked in special effects since leaving college.
"How're you doing that? I'll bet you've replaced the mirror with a screen and..."
I touched the corner of the mirror and pushed. It moved sideways a little. I pushed again then lifted it away from the wall, off the screw it was hanging from. I turned it around, saw the back was made of wood just as I remembered when I'd hung it up myself last year. I pinched with finger and thumb to test the thickness of the glass and wood, which was maybe quarter of an inch. I hung it back up and regarded the face in the mirror.
"She's pretty cute. Are you rendering this in real time on the..." I realised that couldn't be it. "The. Mirror."
I looked down at my supposed-reflection's t-shirt. Same as mine. I pulled the bottom of the t-shirt so it was tight against my body and my reflection revealed bumps. I looked down at my actual t-shirt again and saw the same bumps.
I swiftly pulled the shirt off, and peered in the mirror, then down at my body. My hands trembled as I slowly reached towards my chest while I watched in the mirror.
Oh. My. God.
I had boobs! Standing there wearing only my skintight boxer shorts I slowly ran my hands over the breasts while looking in the mirror. I felt the touch of my hands on them. I pinched the nipples and
felt
it.
Fuck. This was real.
I staggered into the lounge, sat on the sofa and reached to the coffee table for my vape. I took several big puffs then put it down to rest in my lap.
What the actual fuck? This has to be a dream. A very, very vivid dream.
This can't be real!
I looked down to my lap for my vape and froze. My boxers were pretty tight. They're my tight boxers, they're supposed to be! But something was missing.
Oh. My. God.
Again.
There should have been a bulge. I always had a bulge. Where was my fucking bulge?!