Chapter 11: The End of the World, Part II
The Penguin and Kelly Gray were laughing as they picked off the Nova Missile Control Officers, one by one.
Much to Galina's consternation, the Penguin and Kelly Gray had hit it off almost immediately. After killing her latest host to demonstrate her abilities, Kelly had acquired a new host, a redhead with long legs. Galina's suspicions about Kelly's choice was confirmed when Kelly engaged in the ritual of reproduction with the Penguin.
As a Poltergeist, the Penguin's body was little more than a representation; energy molded into the shape of a physical body. But could the Penguin actually enjoy physical sensations?
From the sounds of the moans in the next room, his as well as hers, Galina guessed the answer to the question was a resounding
yes
. When they emerged some time later, Galina could see from the way they looked at each other that they were smitten.
Well, fine. The Penguin had once found Galina intriguing, and tossed her aside; Kelly Gray would be in for a similar surprise when the Penguin's tastes changed again.
Or maybe she wouldn't, since she and the Penguin were about to destroy all life on the world as they knew it.
********
On the third day of the following month, they struck. The Penguin had once again chosen Bunker Number Four at the Grand Forks Nova Missile Base, partially out of sentimental reasons. As he and Kelly Gray, in her newly appropriated body, shot the Nova Missile Control Officers, they seemed just as surprised as they had been the last time.
He had grown to love her little laugh, the way she tittered and smiled when her compression pistol blew a hole in a man's chest. The Penguin suddenly wished that there were not merely four other officers there but ten or twenty or two hundred, to extend their pleasure.
But there were only four, and once they were disposed of, it was time to destroy the world.
Once again.
The Penguin and Kelly sat side by side at their holographic Missile Control interfaces. Kelly mimicked everything the Penguin did. Kelly was not as committed to destroying the world as he was; she just thought it would be
fun
. It would be a
blast
, she said.
It surely would be.
As the Penguin worked his controls quickly and efficiently, he thought, finally, he would get his revenge; finally a lifetime of being scorned would be repaid with interest. The betrayal of Shoshanna would be repaid a thousand times over.
And then he got to the option in the command menu he had been working towards. The holographic launch button. He looked over and could see that Kelly was poised over hers, waiting.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes," She laughed.
The Penguin paused.
Shoshanna. Her HappyHappy. Her betrayal. Squeezing the life out of her-
"Let's do it!" he cried.
Kelly and the Penguin pressed their holographic buttons at the same time.
They waited for the world to end.
And waited.
And waited.
"What's wrong now?" the Penguin cried.
The computer responded. "Awaiting final code for launch."
"Code? What final code?" The Penguin looked around. No one had ever told him anything about a
final code.
"The launch codes, silly," said Kelly. "Only the President has them.
Everyone
knows that. Didn't you?"
The Penguin didn't.
Chapter 12: The Story of Max... and Ronnie
His name had never
really
been Max Boot. Instead, his real name had been Max Plank.
Max Plank,
sort of
named for a famous German scientist who
almost
had the same name, was named by ambitious parents who hoped he would follow in their footsteps. Max's mother had been a brilliant virologist, studying Ass to Mouth Disease, and his Father had been a Social Economist for the World Government, deriving the price amount of societal payments which would persuade people to stop working in the private sector. They both wanted Max to be a scientist.
Instead, Max dropped out of school and became a grav car driver. He took people to and from the spaceports in Queens and Brooklyn.
"That's a job for robots, not people," said his father, making a face.
"No!" said Max. "There are still people out there who are old fashioned, who like the personal touch."
He was right. Customers came to love riding in his hired car, and he developed a cult following. Max was a great conversationalist. People just opened up naturally to him. He made almost as much in tips as he did in fares.
Max was also very smart, people-wise. Sometimes people would open up about their personal problems and Max would give them advice. Good advice. He loved helping people. Max met a gorgeous redhead named Alexandra, and they got married when Max turned 30. Unfortunately, Alexandra died eight years later after a botched nipple transplant. Max was shaken up and sad for a while, but soon he regained his positive attitude and was back to driving people around in his grav car and helping them with their problems. Tragically, however, Max was one of the 3.4 million people killed in the Ass to Mouth Plague of 2254.
Max wasn't particularly surprised to learn that he wasn't dead; he was lucky to run into a
kalak
, a good
kalak
, who explained what had happened to him. The
kalak
told Max that he had apparently survived because of his great love for helping others. The
kalak
said that Max had probably been turned into a Guardian, a
kalak
who helped other people. But the
kalak
warned Max that helping people, however well intentioned, was forbidden by the Three Laws of the Circle. Neither the
kalak
he had run into nor even Max himself, didn't at first know that he could assume physical form like a Poltergeist, which made him one of the most powerful
kalaks
in existence.
That all came later.
Max thanked the
kalak
for his friendly warning, and promptly continued helping people. Obviously, helping people as a ghost inside their bodies was a little different than dispensing advice from the driver's seat of a grav car... but Max quickly adjusted.
And then Max made a friend. Well, Max made a lot of friends. But this particular friend was named Ronnie. Ronnie pretended to be a Guardian, one who helped people, like Max.
But nothing could be further from the truth. Ronnie was actually a Lemure pretending to be a Guardian. She had discovered a way to camouflage her red eyes. Ronnie had lived a bitter life and died jealous of everything and everyone in the world, and had stuck around in order to administer payback.
And what better way to pay back then to systemically hurt every person who Max helped?
********
Gloria Conrad was in mourning. Her eight year old daughter Victoria had been killed at a bus stop by a runaway car. The driver was a man who was high on weed. Since the World Government had determined that Weed was one of the Nine Basic Universal Civil Rights, the man couldn't even be prosecuted.
Gloria was devastated. Her husband Brian tried to console her as any good husband would--with the incredible healing powers of penis. But Gloria pushed him away. She wouldn't be consoled. Not in that way.
And that was the situation when Max found the Conrads. He had discovered that like Ghost Hunters, who had a talent for finding other ghosts, Max had a talent for finding people in distress. Perhaps it was part of the reason he had stayed on as a
kalak
, rather than simply dying. Max simply observed, and listened for a few days, as he usually did. Then he decided to actively interfere.
He had actually just been hauled before the Circle, and warned in no uncertain terms that if he was caught interfering
again
, the penalties would be stiff. He was told that even though he had good intentions, he was still violating the First Law (making his presence known) and the Second Law (interference).
"But I'm not harming anyone. To the contrary, I'm helping them!"
The Circle turned a deaf ear to his pleas. Max didn't know precisely what they would do to him if they caught him again, but he didn't care. He felt compelled to help. And he knew, or at least he thought he knew exactly what Gloria needed.
And so he entered Gloria's body, and he started to whisper to her, in her sleep.
You want a baby. You want another baby.
"No... no...." Gloria said at first, tossing and turning in her sleep.
Yes, yes. You want another baby.
Max planted the image in her mind, the image of holding a beautiful baby boy or girl. Gloria couldn't resist. Soon she fell in love with the idea.
But she made no move to approach Bryan. After spending weeks rejecting his sexual advances, she felt awkward about asking him for the seed of life contained in his heavy, hairy balls.
And so Max sighed and entered Bryan's body.
Gloria wants a baby.
"Who is this?" said Bryan, frowning broadly.
Gloria wants to have a baby.
"Gloria doesn't want to have another baby. And who is this, and how are you talking to me in my head, and am I going crazy?"
