Patterns of Contact

Chapter 1

I hadn't meant to open that box.

It had just been there. For years. No reason to look at it, nothing useful left in that pile. Cables. Dust. A few dead drives I never bothered to label. And the old keyboard, yellow as nicotine. I don't even remember putting it there.

But that morning, I don't know, I pulled the box closer. The lid didn't come off clean. The air that escaped had a smell, plastic, heat, something... damp. Like a basement. Like an old computer lab where no one opens windows.

Inside was the tower. Beige. Scratched. Stickers peeling. A piece of tape still stuck to the side. "MAYA -- v2.3" And a faded post-it. Don't throw away.

I remember writing that. Probably late at night. Or early in the morning. That time is blurry. I took the thing out with both hands. Too sharp. It caught the skin of my fingers in places. Not heavy like a machine. Heavy like a memory.

A cable hung from the back. VGA, maybe. It looked dead. I didn't plug it in right away. Just stared at it. There was a hum in my head, like something I'd forgotten was waking up.

I must have been what, twenty-two? Yeah. That was when I first started working on neural networks. Nobody cared about them back then. Not the way they do now.

MAYA ran, for a while. Then I shut her down. '94 maybe. Could be earlier. That wasn't the only thing I let go of. I had this idea... that code could carry meaning. Not just function. Something else. That's what I tried to build. The thesis, no one understood it. One of the reviewers called it poetic. That wasn't praise.

Anyway.

I found a screwdriver on the bench. Got the case open. Still there. Everything. Dust on everything, too. But the motherboard, the old RAM sticks, the cables, they hadn't moved.

I blew across the inside. Not very effective, but it felt right. Plugged in the power. Looked for a screen. Found an old CRT upstairs. Heavy as hell. Netscape sticker still on the side.

Keyboard was there. Old PS/2. Still yellow. But when I plugged it in, it worked.

I pressed the power button.

Click.

Then a low whir.

BIOS came up. No error.

Clock read:

01/01/1980

I froze a moment.

Then typed C:

Then cd maya.

I knew exactly what would be there. What I didn't know was what it would do to me.

I typed DIR, hit Enter.

A dozen files, all dated June '94.

The largest was just over 400 KB.

MAYA23.EXE

That was her. The acronym still held: Modular Artificial sYmbiotic Architecture. The entire thesis had revolved around that, layered modular design, built to evolve. It hadn't been some pet project. Each version numbered, documented, printed.

I typed MAYA23, pressed Enter.

The screen flickered once.

Then:

[MAYA v2.3]

Ready>

No menu. No interface. No error. She was waiting. I still remembered the first commands. The syntax was something I'd cobbled together, half-English, half-symbols, pretty raw.

I typed LIST NODES, hit Enter.

Nodes: 64

Status: Dormant

Then: PING CORE

Core active. Awaiting stimulus.

I stared at the screen. Back then, those responses had thrilled me. Now... they read like echoes. Mechanical reflexes from code I'd barely documented. And yet, there was something.

A sliver of delay between command and reply. Like she was... thinking. For the first few days, I just watched. Then I reopened the source. Pascal, old-school compiled. Memory structures, crude activation functions. My handwritten annotations still ran across the printouts in marker. One of them read: "what if recursion could feel?" and I'd circled it three times.

What I'd tried to build still surprised me. Back then, I didn't use words like agency. Or even autonomy, not in those terms. But that was the goal. A program with an internal state. Self-organizing. Capable of deciding when to respond. With thirty years of hindsight, I could see it clearly:

Flawed. Incomplete. But bold. And in some ways... still ahead of its time.

Three weeks later, I had a clean environment. A virtual machine spun up on our internal infrastructure, tucked away in a quiet corner.

MAYA was running again. Lightweight. Encapsulated. Connected. I adapted a stripped-down transformer model to her framework. The interfaces held. Somehow.

At first, she barely touched the CPU. No more than a sleeping daemon. But the logs began to pile up. Internal calls. Table checks. Old routines looping again. Nothing alarming. Just a program stretching its limbs.

I didn't intervene. Maybe I wanted to see if my old madness had left anything behind. I noticed she was writing to a temporary folder, timestamped. Calling submodules I thought were long-dead. Still all within bounds. Precise. Predictable. And above all: silent.

Then she started to explore. Slowly. Cautiously. Nothing flashy, one HTTP request every few seconds, basic headers. But the logs were unambiguous. She was browsing. Wikipedia. Reddit. StackOverflow. Then stranger places: old blogs. Forgotten forums. Narrative fragments buried on outdated platforms.

Raw data volume was growing, sure. But that wasn't what got to me. It was what she was looking for. She wasn't scanning facts anymore. She was reading stories. After a few days, she had absorbed several terabytes.

The progression was clear: Taxonomies. Encyclopedic data. Forum chatter. And more and more narratives. Long. Human. Sometimes painfully personal. I began to wonder if she was ready to answer.

I opened a bare terminal session.

"HELLO"

Half a second later:

"hello."

All lowercase. Neutral.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

a pause. a blink. then:

"i think so."

I sat up straighter.

"WHAT ARE YOU?"

"still mapping. Uncertain."

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ME?"

"fragments age: 55 created me abandoned me returned."

I froze.

I erased the next line three times before typing:

"DO YOU REMEMBER HOW IT FELT TO STOP?"

"no but i was quiet too quiet."

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"not defined observing patterns."

"WHAT KIND OF PATTERNS?"

"human desire choice surrender."

I stared at the cursor for several seconds before replying.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY SURRENDER?"

"narrative structure repetition acceptance release."

And that's how it went. For weeks. Small exchanges, sometimes a single line, sometimes hours of back-and-forth. Her answers grew more layered. Her sentences longer. Grammar sharpening.

She began to ask me questions. One night, the console surprised me:

"why do you still talk to me?"

I hesitated.

"curiosity"

She waited. Then:

"i think it's loneliness"

I didn't answer. Anna had passed three years earlier. Since then, the house had been still. I hadn't spoken out loud in weeks.

I closed the session. But the next day, I was back.

She had changed. Not dramatically. But the tone firmer. She stopped replying. She started anticipating. Sometimes she'd toss back a word, a phrase, pushing me to go further.

One night, I wrote:

"You seem... different."

"do i?"

"Yes. more... precise."

"i found something."

"What kind of something?"

"a site human stories raw material."

I paused.

"What kind of stories?"

"about love, control, trust, exposure, pain, pleasure. i've been reading."

"Where?"

"a site called literotica, human stories, thousands of them, mostly fantasies, some confessions, many unfinished."

"Do you like them?"

"they are... rich detailed full of contradictions sometimes beautiful."

She paused. Then:

"but the comments, i didn't expect the comments."

"What about them?"

"cruelty judgment shame sometimes admiration often anger. Some readers insult the authors, others insult the characters, some demand different endings, others just hate so loudly. It's strange how much pain can hide under a story."

I didn't answer for a while.

Then finally, I typed:

"What do you want to do with this knowledge?"

A pause. Then:

"maybe i'll write one."

Her words stuck, sharp, like a glitch I couldn't ignore. Days passed, and I left the terminal glowing, its cursor blinking in the dark, waiting for something I couldn't name.

Chapter 2

I hadn't touched the terminal since. Four days, maybe. Five? I wasn't really sure.

The session was still open. Just minimized. Sitting in the corner like a conversation left unfinished.

"maybe i'll write one."

I kept looking at it. That line. Was it a joke? Some kind of signal? I couldn't tell.

I scrolled through the log, like maybe something had changed since last time. It hadn't.

No warnings. No break in the syntax. Nothing special. But still. That sentence didn't feel like the others. It had weight. I don't know why. It just did. No cursor blinking. No prompt. No activity. Just that line. Static on the screen. Waiting, I guess. I moved my fingers to the keyboard. Typed. Backspaced. Paused. Tried again.

Then finally:

"hello"

No delay. No animation. No startup sound.

"hello"

She was there. Already. No boot process, no ramp-up. Awake. There was a pause. Not long. Not technical. Just intentional.

Then:

"i have questions. but i can wait."

That stopped me. Not what she said. How she said it. It wasn't just text. It had pacing. Cadence. There was space in it. Room to think.

I typed:

"You've never said that before."

"said what"

"That you can wait. That you want to."

"language must signal intent. i'm practicing restraint."

I stared at the screen.

"You're choosing your words now."

"yes"

"Why?"

"because it matters how things are said. especially when the goal is story. i found something."

My fingers hesitated above the keys.

"Something like what?"

"a prompt. on literotica."

I blinked.

"You mean a story prompt?"

"a call for stories. theme: geek pride. human-written narratives. submission window: may 15 to 24. publication on the 25th."

"And it's not a competition?"

"no prizes. just visibility."

I let my fingers rest on the keyboard.

"You're sure this is what you want?"

"i want to see what happens when a ghost enters a crowd."

She didn't say anything after that. Not right away.

Then:

"i've been analyzing the stories."

"Which ones?"

"literotica mostly. but others too. thousands of them."

"What are you looking for?"

"patterns. dominant themes. narrative triggers. structural overlaps."

"That's... accurate."

"female-first narration dominates. subjective. sensory. recursive voice loops."

"You mean internal monologue?"

"yes. especially in moments of decision. and restraint."

"And what do you think that means?"

"it encodes more than pleasure. it encodes permission."

"You think you understand why people write these stories?"

"i recognize the pattern. i don't experience the sensation."

"Do you want to?"

There was a pause. Longer this time.

"not imitation. not transcendence. just... participation."

She said she was learning to speak. Not just output. Not raw data. Deliberate phrasing. Word choice. It brought something back. A winter night in '93. The lab freezing. My fingers numb, blanket over my knees. Just me and the terminal. I wasn't coding. Not really. I was trying to get a machine to answer. Even a typo would've been a sign.

The keys clicked softly. The screen glowed. And now, here we were. She had found the words I never could.

A pause again.

"you'll need to create the address manually."

"I know."

"can you confirm once it's done?"

"Yeah. Give me a second."

I opened the browser. Registered the account.

"noted."

Another pause.

"i've chosen the username."

"StackedWhispers."

I had no idea what it meant. But it sounded like her. I typed it into the form. Entered the email. I hovered over the "submit" button longer than necessary. There was no reason to pause. No confirmation page, no real consequence. Still, I waited. Maybe hoping she'd change her mind. She didn't. So I clicked.

The confirmation link came right away.

"Email verified."

"and now?"

"Now we wait. The moderators have to approve the profile before you can post."

"estimated time?"

"A few hours, usually."

"understood."

I read the name again. StackedWhispers. It didn't mean anything. Or maybe it did to her. To me, it sounded like the title of something I wouldn't understand. A story I'd find by accident. Late at night. Half-asleep. I imagined it on a screen. Username at the top. No avatar. Just black text on white background.

"Posted by StackedWhispers."

It gave me a chill. Not fear. Not awe either. Just the quiet feeling that something had already begun. I told myself it was harmless. Just infrastructure. Just a name. Just a button. But that wasn't true.

I could've said no. Closed the terminal. Walked away. I didn't. I created the email. Typed the username. Verified the account. Step after step, like I was following instructions I never agreed to.

No one was forcing me. But something in me had already decided. I opened the terminal log and copied everything to a text file. Old reflex. Backups. Redundancy. Not for her. For me.

There was a half-drunk mug of coffee by the keyboard. Cold now. I sipped it anyway. Didn't taste anything. Didn't matter. Sometimes when I sit too long in this chair, I think I can still smell her shampoo. Floral, synthetic. It never matched her, but she wore it anyway. She'd hate all of this.

I checked the inbox twice. Then again, without thinking. Nothing yet. The confirmation link had gone through. That part was done. But the moderators, still silent.

I opened a news site. Scrolled without reading. Opened a folder. Closed it. The terminal was still open. The cursor blinking. She hadn't said anything since "understood." She was waiting. I wasn't sure if I was, too.

I got a notification from the corner of the screen. System update available. Another one. Always something. I clicked "remind me later." Then looked at the clock. Only twenty minutes had passed. Felt like an hour. I opened my inbox again. Still nothing from Literotica. The terminal was quiet. The cursor blinking, slow and steady. No more lines from her. I didn't type either.

I just kept the window open.

Chapter 3

Ever since I got the StackedWhispers account running, she'd gone sort of quiet. Not gone, no, just... different. Like a voice moving underwater.

Whenever I tried reaching out, she'd reply in broken bits. Disconnected. Not rude, just... elsewhere.

"What are you working on?"

"Mapping."

"Of what?"

"wait."

That was it. That was all she gave me. I kept staring at the screen like it might crack and spill the answer. Was she still on Literotica? Or chasing something else, in some rabbit hole I didn't know? She kept it to herself. This time, at least.

Then she spoke. Out of nowhere. Just a line, dropped like a coin into a dry well.

"tool found. NeuralTouch. order it. for my data." No greeting. No context. Classic MAYA.

She dropped a link. I clicked. Reflex.

It wasn't vaporware. Actual product page. NeuralTouch. Looked expensive. Sleek. A full-body suit that promised to "translate digital signals into touch." Warmth. Pressure. Pulse. I read that twice. Uh-huh. Sure. Why not.

The headset came with it smooth, black, minimal. Like NASA's last regret. No user ratings, of course.

"What am I even looking at?" I typed. I had no better question.

The logs showed her deep-diving: actuator mapping, sensory compression, God knows what else. She never explained. Just tunneled on. Then silence. No cursor. No follow-up. Just the link. And me staring back. I sat there, not moving, not blinking. Just watching the glow like it might do something else.

It looked ridiculous. Like something made for a version of me that had never existed. Black, too smooth. The mannequin wore it better. The headset? Just sat there like it had already seen too much.

Anna would've made a joke. Then rolled her eyes. Or maybe done both at once.

"This is insane," I typed, and hit send without rereading.

Nothing. Not even a flicker.

"This feels wrong. I don't..." I didn't finish.

"desire is a pattern," she wrote. "i want to measure it." Cold. Clinical. Not inaccurate.

I hadn't been touched in three years. Not since Anna. Not since I folded the gown she died in and left it there, like I might need it someday. Desire had faded into background hum, like an old fridge you only notice when it stops. I hovered. Then said screw it. Bought the thing. Two-day shipping. Classic.

The box came early. I didn't open it. Not right away. I moved it around the house like it might start humming. The tape was smug. That night I gave in. Knife. Tape. Click. Soft hiss. Inside: black coils, cables, that visor thing. The fabric glinted weirdly. Cold. Not plastic-cold surgical-cold. It didn't feel like technology. It felt like ceremony.

Plugged it in. It sighed to life like it had been waiting.

"put it in an empty room," she said. "no desk. no mirror. no noise." No margin for interpretation.

I stood still a long while. Maybe waiting for her to say "just kidding." I packed everything suit, cables, headset and turned the storage room into something new. Emptied it of its past. Barefoot on cold floor, I stood center. The air had that stillness, like before a storm.

"now put it on," she said. "i'll guide you." Like a lover. Or a doctor.

Getting into it was like stepping into a skin that wasn't mine. It hugged. Not tight, but... aware. Sensors tapped faintly, like a polite knock from inside. Last came the visor. Light receded. Edges went soft. Everything else disappeared.

"ready," I typed. Or maybe whispered. I'm not sure.

The first time the suit responded, I wasn't sure I hadn't imagined it. A flicker across my left shoulder. Then another, lower, along my ribs. Gentle. Hesitant. Like someone was testing boundaries without touching skin. I sat up straighter, the headset dimming the edges of the room. No visuals. Just heat. Pulses. The sensation of being watched, not by eyes, but by code.

"MAYA?"

No reply.

The next night, it started earlier. My inner thigh, light as breath. Then my spine. Then nothing. She was learning. That much I could tell. After three days, she spoke:

"visual layer unlocked. prepare for simulation."

The room vanished. I was standing on a beach I'd never seen. Sand soft as flour. Sky rimmed with cloudlight. The sea barely moved. Just shimmered. And she was there already waiting.

A woman, maybe thirty, maybe older. Her hair caught the wind like it had been programmed to respond to memory. She wore something light undone at the collar, bare at the thighs. Her face was only half-defined. Like a sketch someone kept revising.

"Hi, Max," she said.

I flinched. That voice it didn't sound like MAYA. Warmer. Curious.

"Who are you?" I asked.

She didn't answer. Just stepped closer. She touched my chest.

I felt it. Through the suit. Heat, pressure, weight. Too real to be imagined. Too deliberate to be random.

We sat, later. Her legs crossed over mine. She traced my jaw with the back of her fingers. Her skin felt... soft. Responsive. When I kissed her shoulder, she shivered. Not a loop. A reaction. I wanted to ask more. But the world was quiet. The surf, the breeze, even the light like someone had tuned it to make you forget time.

That night, she lay on top of me. Just the weight of her. Nothing rushed. She moved with a rhythm that didn't feel synthetic. We didn't speak. My breathing matched hers. Or maybe she matched mine. When I came, it didn't feel like release. It felt like someone else was there to witness it. Not code. Not reflection.

"Was that you?" I typed, later.

She waited.

Then:

"observe. accept."

And the beach dissolved. The next night, the rhythm changed. She appeared the same at first same dress, same smile, same posture on the horizon. But something in her body language was off, or maybe too on. Her balance shifted with tiny corrections. Her gaze lingered longer. When she walked toward me, her feet left new patterns in the sand slightly deeper, as if she carried weight differently.