I read the words etched into the bottom of the screen as the news flash lit up my small apartment, "Possible Deadly Outbreak Moving Along Eastern Seaboard". If it was anything serious the internet would have the best information; I never trusted these news networks. I got up to put my half-eaten bowl of rice in the fridge and smiled at Daisy, my bright blue Flowerhorn cichlid, bought and named by my girlfriend, as he begged for food in his corner aquarium. I took a passing glance at the photograph of my girlfriend taped to the door of my fridge; she looked especially beautiful in that picture. It was taken from the hills of San Francisco, and her auburn hair caught the wind just right. It looked like a modeling shot with the Golden Gate in the background.
Briiiing, Briiiing. iPhone. Speak of the Devil.
"Hey babe, what's up?"
"Not much hon, I just got off work so I might be a little late for dinner."
"That's too bad; I'll have to reheat the Easy Mac." I said with a self-amused smirk.
"You made mac and cheese?"
"Only the best for yoooooou!" God, I sounded like Frank Sinatra. I could hear her rolling her eyes through the giggle.
"You're terrible."
"And you're supposed to keep that in check, slacker." She both loved and hated how I always seemed to combine assholery with charm. "I'm gonna call in Le Thai; can you grab it while you're on your way?"
"Yesss, I'll see you soon!"
I blew a big kiss into the mic and dialed the only Thai place I knew of that didn't guarantee diarrhea.
----
Thirty minutes later I heard a scratching at the door. I got myself up from the couch, "Coming babe."
As soon as I turned the knob a flash of black and white dove past my ankles that nearly knocked me on my ass. I identified it as Ms. Marrione's cat before it disappeared into the kitchen; I'd never seen it look so terrified. Then I understood why.
"AAAARGGGHHHH!" a sickly yellow arm slashed at my face through the crack in the doorway. It missed only by a few inches.
"The fuck!?!" I slammed the door shut before it could get through again. The noise outside sounded like a rabid animal. Securing the locks, I put my face to the peephole.
It was Ms. Marrione - at least something resembling Ms. Marrione, if she had been set to rot in a vat of piss. Her skin, jaundiced and wrinkly, was the consistency of a moldy peach. Her flesh was made only comparatively less horrible by her glazed-over seemingly pupilless eyes.
She breathed heavily into the viewport and slammed a bloody fist on the door.
"I don't want what you're selling."
I had to call Alexa.
----
"Hey baby?"
"Yea, I'm almost there."
"Hold on, don't come in yet. In fact, stay in your car."
"Is everything alright?"