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Synopsis: Mary and Tara are college dorm mates. An inexplicable event leaves them in control of one another's bodies, but still feeling the sensations of their own.
I
Okay, so... I'm totally stressing out about this thing. I don't know who to tell. Everyone will think I'm crazy. God, I know
you
will too... But whatever. I don't even know you. I was looking up how to deal with this kind of shit online—the stress, I mean—And everything keeps telling me to just talk about it. Write it down. I'll try anything at this point, I guess. Well, I
guess
I already have!... err... never mind. I'm getting ahead of myself.
I'm Mary. You don't need to know my last name. I'm a sophomore at... a university. I live—lived? A normal life. I grew up in the suburbs, had a couple of boyfriends in high school, and moved out-of-state on a scholarship. I'm pretty sure I'm going to go into zoology. I like animals. They're a lot easier than people.
It's not that I'm antisocial or anything. I've always just found myself more at peace with things that don't understand the concept of drama. Then again... well, I guess you probably don't care about any of this. Maybe I'm stalling. I'm not that great at explaining things, but—oh to hell with it.
So I have a roommate, Tara. We've shared a dorm room since spring quarter of last year, so I think I know her pretty well. We're not BFFs or anything, but we get along decently. She's just, you know, that typical- um- precious little thing. She's nice enough, if not a little stuck-up at times... Okay, I'm supposed to say what I really feel. I'm beating around the bush, and I know it.
Don't get excited, but she's very pretty. Okay, she's gorgeous. And she knows it, but it's true. She can eat whatever she wants and always stays skinny. Her parents... I don't know what they do, but I guess her dad must rake it in. Maybe her mom does too... I forget. It's just
that
kind of family, I'm assuming. I mean, they own
horses
for crying out loud. And don't get me started on how many medals Tara has won in all her little tournaments.
Sorry. Pet peeve. I don't know if it's the snob hang-up, or because I think training horses is kind of cruel. Just let them
be;
they're not a toy for our amusement! I almost had this conversation once with her, and she couldn't even fathom where I was coming from. But that's Tara for you. Self-centered.
God! I'm not trying to avoid the subject. I don't know how to
tell
this. This isn't what I
do.
Some of it is important though. You have to—to know Tara to get the impact, I think. But I'm being unfair to her. Like I said, she's not all bad. She can just get under my skin from time to time. Everything comes so easily to her and- and...
Honesty
. I'm supposed to be honest. Fine. Let me just explain how it started, first. Maybe that will help.
It was late Friday night. Well, not
that
late. Getting close to midnight, I guess? I stayed in. I usually stay in. Going out to parties or whatever is just... a lot of work, you know? Tara always invites me out. No matter what it is, where it is, she'll ask. Sometimes I even go. More out of a sense of some weird obligation than anything else. I just feel like a total bitch if I say no
every
single time.
"Come on," she will always say with that sweet smile, "It'll be fun! Why are you always cooping yourself up! We're hot, let's live it!"
Uh huh. So Tara likes boys. I think she likes
herself
even more though. The amount of time she spends preening herself in front of the mirror. Sometimes I catch her just looking at herself, little smile curling on her lips, self-approval just
radiating
out of her. There's probably nothing she likes more than having people gawk at her. I never knew if it was some sort of weird insecurity thing, or if she just had a crazy vain streak. Maybe it's both. I don't know.
Anyway. The point is that she has a different "boyfriend" every other week. They're like trophies to her. Except she's no tease. She likes sex. Likes to feel good.
My
theory is what really gets her off is knowing how excited the guy is to be with her.
Ugh
. I don't mind if she wants to lay every "hottie with a body" she meets. It's her life. It's just not how
I
want to be. I don't even mind leaving the dorm if she brings someone back
here
that much. I just don't want to hear about it.
I mean,
sure
, in the beginning I guess I was curious. She would tell me about this guy or the next, saying how he was good, if he was. And she was completely, I mean
completely
uninhibited about sharing details. Now, I'm not a nun or anything, but like I said, I had a couple boyfriends in high school... I'm not exactly, um—
that
experienced. So after my initial shock, I
was
fascinated by what she had to say. At least, I mean, it was educational.
But after awhile, I realized she didn't even care what I thought. She was really just using me as a soundboard to talk about herself. I got sick of it. But she never picked up on my hints that I wasn't interested anymore. Now I just sort of ignore her.
Okay. I'm whining again. The truth is, I was jealous. Yeah, I bet you already figured that out. It took me awhile to admit it to myself, but there is something appealing about her self-assuredness. Her willingness to use what she has to get what she wants. Her complete lack of shame in feeling good. I didn't want to be
exactly
like her, but her... freedom? That was something I envied. So yeah. My secret little fantasy, sometimes when I was alone, was to imagine myself wearing a skimpy little
'Tara'
outfit and just giving in to the first cute guy I saw. It's not
that
bad.
Back to the point though. It was Friday. I was surprised that she came huffing in when she did. She so rarely comes back this early without another toy in toe. But she was alone and not looking very happy. She stomped through the room and let out a loud sigh as she dropped her purse into a chair, just waiting for me to chime in.
Like I said, I'm not a bitch... Even if I knew it was going to be some bullshit fuss. "Hey Tara... What's wrong?"
"Boys!" she groaned out loud. "Stupid, Neanderthal, groping, incompetent boys!"
Here we go
. Time for her to unload all her woeful problems onto me, because the world is just
so
unfair to her! I had a book in my lap and looked down at the pages sorrowfully, knowing that I would try to keep reading as she ranted, but I wouldn't be able to enjoy it.
"So the party didn't end well?" I offered with a tried sincerity.
"So Jake... You remember Jake, right? Sandy brown hair? Great arms?
Guh-
what a
waste!
A complete troll!"
Who says 'troll' anyway?
Equestrians
...
"He thinks he can just paw his way into my skirt after just
one
drink!" she scoffed.
I couldn't help but point out the obvious. "I thought you wanted him, though..."
Her eyes blinked rapidly. "Well, yeah! But he was such a brute! No finesse, no talent! Just groping me, expecting me to get wet
just
because he's
there!"
My neck tightened at the comment. I could never quite get used to how blasé she was about it. "Oh. Sorry about that."
She was looking at herself in the mirror now, still irritated. Her hands ran over her clothes; straightening out her shirt, smoothing her skirt—as
if
she was still going back out tonight. "Such a waste that the best sex I ever have is when I give it to
myself
," she sighed.
I
almost
blushed at the comment. Whenever she mentions something like that, my mind derails to the
one
time I accidentally walked in on her masturbating on the bed. Her legs were wide open, hips pushed way up off the sheets... she was even
sweating!
It made me wonder if
I