No Longer a Game

Chapter 17 - A confession and a favor asked

Natalie woke up as light from the rising sun entered the room through the window. Her naked body was pressed against Christie's and her arm draped over the drow's shoulder. For a moment, just a brief moment she felt happiness; a feeling that was rare for her. The happiness faded as she moved away from the other girl and she propped her head up with her hand and stared at the sleeping drow. Hate for the other girl replaced the moment of happiness and Natalie had to bury the desire to claw at her lover's face with her nails.

At times she really cared deeply for her girlfriend and others she hated the girl. The hate came from the feeling of caring she felt with Christie. Natalie hated the way Christie made her feel at times. Natalie had allowed many people to fuck her since she became sexually active, more than a girl her age should have. Some fucked her that she did not want to have sex with, some she allowed to fuck her for her own reasons, whether it was for personal gain or revenge for some slight she felt, or just having sex with another girl's boyfriend or a boy's girlfriend out of spite; others she let fuck her for fun and enjoyment; but there were a few...a small few she actually felt something for. To her those were the worst and when Natalie started to feel something for that person she began to hate them and made it her goal to hurt the person she was beginning to care for; normally by cheating on them and allowing them to find out, but once when she was eighteen and a senior in high school she started to care for a lover who was a twenty-eight year old lady and once again Natalie began to hate the woman and she set out not just to hurt her lover but ruin her lovers life. She succeeded. Christie was in the latter category of her lovers.

It didn't start that way. When she first met Christie she had sex with the other girl for fun then it turned into a few dates and that turned into dating and then a relationship. She began to care for her blonde girlfriend and at times began to hate Christie for it. Natalie did things to drive Christie away, she cheated with several young men to force Christie to break up with her but the girl never did. She ignored Natalie's indiscretions and never confronted her on them. That made Natalie hate the girl more at times but then there were times Natalie felt she could not go a day without being in her girlfriends arms and the other girl made her happy. Last night was one of those times and this morning she hated Christie for it and hated herself for it.

Natalie sighed and got out of bed and went into the bathroom. Her body was sore from the sex, her muscles ached, her sex was sore, and worse was the soreness in her butt. Christie had used her ass more than her pussy during the night and it was sore. Not that Natalie minded nor did she ask the other girl to stop; she enjoyed anal sex a great deal. Her body smelled of sex, her own scent and the scent of the drow on her and she could still taste Christie on her lips. Natalie smiled at the smell and taste. She looked in the mirror and frowned.

"You are one fucked up girl, Natalie Camille St. Claire." She said to her reflection that was truly not hers. Her voice was full of sadness. Natalie shrugged, washed her hands, and walked back into the bedroom.

She grinned as she saw Christie still asleep and then ran and jumped on the bed and started bouncing up and down.

"Get up! Get Up sleepy head!" She yelled cheerfully as she bounced on the bed. "We have things to do today!"

Natalie squealed and giggled when the drow grabbed her and pushed her down and got on top of her and started kissing her. Giggling again, Natalie pushed Christie off of her and rolled on top of the dark elf.

"Get up, we have to get dressed and go see your chickie priestess and eat. I am so hungry since you did not let us eat last night."

Christie wrapped her arms around Natalie's waist, "You didn't complain about being hungry last night." She teased.

Natalie pouted, "I don't think it would have mattered. You were not going to let me leave."

Christie pushed Natalie off of her and Natalie fell to her side and the drow snuggled close and kissed the elf's naked shoulder as Natalie grabbed her hand and held it.

"I love you, Natalie."

Natalie smiled and brought Christie's hand to mouth and kissed it. "I know. So are we getting up now? I really am hungry."

Christie rolled to her back, "God...you still can't say it can you?" She asked in an angry tone.

Natalie moved to lie on her back and sighed, "Would it be better if I lied?"

"No...but fuck...do something...anything to show you have some feelings for me."

"I didn't last night?"

The drow sighed, "Ok anything besides sex...we both know you fuck people you don't care about so sex does not count."

"What do you want from me, Christie? If you are waiting for me to tell you I love you then stop waiting and move along and forget about me. Give up on me Christie. You tell me you don't understand me because I won't tell you I love you, but I don't understand you. I fuck around on you...more than once...and yeah I know you knew about it...hell I made sure you knew about to hurt you. But what do you do? You don't say a word and you still tell me you love me. Why don't you get it, Christie? I am no good...I'm fucked up in the head, Christie, I can be a total bitch, I hurt people who care about me, and I'm a whore. You deserve so much better." Natalie was not angry and her voice was calm and cold.

"Because I have hope that's why, Natalie. I love you and I have hope one day you will love me."

"God...you are impossible. What do you want from me right now? Besides me lying to you and telling you I love you."

"Tell me something no one knows about you or something very few people know about you. Show me you at least care for me and give me that at least."

Natalie did not say a word for several moments. Minutes passed and still she remained silent. Christie finally got frustrated and turned to her side to put her back to the elf.

"Fuck, you can't even do that. I guess it really is over. I am sorry for what I did last night. I should never have come into your room. It won't happen again and I will leave you alone from now on...here and back home." Christie said in a hurt voice.

After several more minutes passed Christie tried to get out of bed but Natalie grabbed her and pulled the drow back in bed. Then Natalie rolled over and put her arm around Christie, kissed the back of the drow's neck, and snuggled close pressing her naked body to Christie's.

"I wanted to be a nun when I was growing up." She said staring at Christie's back as if talking to herself.

"What?"

"You asked me to tell you something no one else knows about me. To tell you something that shows I do care about you and I did. I wanted to be a nun. Only people who ever knew that were my parents and three other people...one a Bishop and the other two were nuns."

Christie chuckled, "Seriously...a nun? I can't imagine you as a nun, Natalie. I mean I know you were raised catholic and still say you are but you never go to mass unless you go home to visit your parents and even then you don't take communion or go to confession."

"I know...but I used to be very devout and I wanted to be a nun from age seven until I was thirteen. At age seven I took my first communion along with a lot of other young kids at St John's. You know we are taught as Catholics that the Eucharist actually becomes the body and blood of Christ while most protestant religions it's just symbolic. Well when the Bishop placed that piece of bread in my mouth and I drank the wine from the cup I felt it, Christie. I actually felt I was partaking in the flesh of Christ and His blood and it was amazing. I know you don't believe in this stuff or any religion, but it was how I felt and I did believe...with my entire being from that day on every time I took communion I felt Him...or thought I did. It's hard to explain...but at that first communion I actually felt the presence of God, His Son, and the Holy Spirit in me and around me and it felt wonderful; like I was high on some drug. It was at that moment I knew He wanted me to become a nun."

Natalie kissed Christie's shoulder and rolled to her back and the drow rolled to hers and Natalie took her hand and held it as she continued, "From that day on I was going to be a nun. My mind was made up and I told my mother and father and they humored me but I knew they thought I was just a silly girl caught up in the emotions of the day but that was not it; I was going to be a nun and my mind was made up. I went to mass not just on Sundays but other days as well. I went to confession every chance I got. When I was eleven and started walking to school I would get up an hour earlier and walk to St John's...you been to my parents and know how close they live to the church...so I would walk to St. John's and go to confession every day before I went to school; if it was raining I took a bus or hoped one of the tourists trollies. Nothing was going to stop me from going to confession."

"I took communion every chance I could right after confession." Natalie giggled and kissed Christie's hand, "The priests got a kick out of me...they enjoyed and even started to look forward to me coming in every morning. They would ask me what could a girl as young and sweet as me have to confess every day. I would tell them every little thing I thought was a sin...'I told my mother I ate all my vegetables at dinner but only ate half or that a girl at school made me mad and had mean thoughts about her'... things like that. They would smile and give me a small penance for absolution...'three Hail Mary's' stuff like that. They even nicked named me Joan of Arc."

"I prayed constantly. To God, to Jesus, to the Virgin Mary, I lit candles to the Saints, and I volunteered every chance I could at the church; with charity programs and Sunday schools, and vacation bible schools. I was a very devout pious little girl"

"One morning I walked in the church...I was twelve...and the Arch Bishop was there in the sanctuary and as I made my way to the confessional another priest smiled at me and whispered to him. He came over to me and took my confession...the Arch Bishop! Oh I was thrilled, Christie, and then after I left the confessional he took me to the alter and blessed me with holy water. You can't understand how I felt...what it felt like for me to have the Arch Bishop of the Diocese bless me like that. Again I honestly felt a high...a sense of euphoria and once again the presence of my God in me. I was more than ever determined to be a nun and I told the Bishop my plans and he contacted the head master at St. Vincent's where I went to school and they allowed me to meet with some of the nuns to help me decide my future."

"Through them I found out I could still go to college and be a nun and there were colleges that allowed novices to attend before they took their vows. The next day when I went to confession and to take communion, which I did every day, the bishop gave me a set of rosaries...a set of his personal ones that were blessed by the Pope. I cried when he gave them to me.

"Of course at age twelve I was older and my parents realized I was no longer just a silly little girl caught up in her emotions. They did not try and talk me out of it...but I could tell they were disappointed but I did not care...I would be married to Christ and never have kids and they would not have grandchildren but they supported my choice. I was going to be a nun and thought nothing would stop me."

"So what happened?" Christie asked after Natalie paused her story, "Did you discover boys and change your mind?" The drow giggled trying to make light of Natalie's confession. Christie could tell in the elf's voice she was serious and even full of sadness.

Natalie kissed the other girl's hand again and got out of bed, wrapped the blanket around her naked body, and walked to the window and sat on the window seal curled up with her knees to her chest. She stared at the beautiful view of the garden for several moments before she answered.

"You ever had anything important...no precious...taken away from you? Something you held so dear that you felt you could not live without?" Natalie said without turning around. "No...taken is not the right word...stolen but not stolen like a thief sneaking into you house while you sleep but stolen from you in the most brutal way? Something stolen that way that is the most precious item you have...something that defined your life and broke you heart when it was gone?" Natalie turned to the room.

"No...I can't say that I have." Christie answered solemnly.

Natalie gave the drow a small smile, "Ever had your heart broken...I mean truly broken. To lose someone you loved more than anything and to have that person betray you and turn their back on you?"

"I...well...yes by you."

Natalie smiled again at the drow, "No, baby, I never broke you heart like you think. Oh I hurt you that is true but I never turned my back on you. You always knew that regardless of what I have done or who I fucked I was always coming home to you. That's why you did what you did last night. You knew I would come back to you eventually but you just sped up the process."

Christie nodded because she knew Natalie spoke the truth. She had been hurt by the other girl several times but never really felt heartbroken. "No...I guess I haven't then."

"The worst thing about someone truly breaking your heart and turning their back on you...no betraying you...is that after a while you forget what it was like to love that person. You try to get it back. It becomes an obsession to get it back but you never can get that feeling back again so you develop another obsession...one that takes over and you can't control. One that is worse than the obsession true love gives you."

Natalie stood and turned her back ton Christie and a tear ran down her cheek as she looked out at the garden again.

"What do you do then...what's the new obsession?" She asked sensing Natalie was not going to volunteer the information.

Natalie gave a loud sigh of sadness, "To destroy your world and everyone in it." Natalie told her in a cold voice.

The tone of Natalie's voice in her last words sent an actually chill up Christie's spine. The drow remembered the words Michael told her on the ship about Natalie. He said almost the exact same thing.

'I do care for you, Christie, much more than you will ever know and because I care for you I feel sorry for you."

Natalie sighed, wiped her eyes, and turned to face the drow. Her entire demeanor was changed and she was smiling with a look of happiness on her face.

"No get up and let's go get something to eat and go to this temple of yours. I am curious to meet another drow."

The drow stared at Natalie as the elf hummed cheerfully as she got dressed. Christie shook her head, "Ok, baby." She said in a dead pan voice.

The party met downstairs and as they ate breakfast Ahira informed Natalie and Christie of the information he and Rain gathered from Linvall. After they ate the group made their way to the Temple District. They decided not to wear armor or carry most of their weapons since Linvall assured them since they accepted his contract they could go about the city without fear of being harassed by any of the street thugs or gangs, but they were still cautious. Jason carried a short sword, Ahira his hand ax, and Christie her song sword. They elected to walk instead of taking the rickshaw cabs when they noticed the transportation devices were pulled by slaves.

When the group got to the temple they were allowed entry without question and escorted by one of the guards to Sinafey. The friends were escorted to the large room where Christie had joined the feast the night she stayed at the temple, but this time there was no music, food, or revelry instead they found Sinafey sitting at the head of the table with her priestess around her, the novices standing against the wall and one had a pitcher in her hand to serve drink, and at the far end of the table was a man in the uniform of the city watch. Tlueindra stood with the novices and smiled and winked at Christie. Natalie noticed the act and gave her drow girlfriend a curious look. Sinafey stood and walked to Christie and hugged her when the companions entered the room.

"Oh, sister, a pleasure to see you again."

"Thank you, Mistress. We hope we are not disturbing you?" Christie replied.

"Not at all, my dear, just a little minor inconvenience with the city watch." Sinafey looked at the city guard, "Captain Jacerryl is helping us sort the matter out."

"Minor inconvenience?" The captain shouted, "I have four dead bodies in the streets killed by two of your drow guards!" He said the word drow with hate in his voice.

"Yes but of the gang of thugs attacked my guards for just being drow. It was self-defense." The high priestess replied calmly.

"Not according to my witnesses."

"Who are members of the same gang of thugs who accosted my guards. We are done here Captain. You may leave now." Sinafey waved her hands in the air to dismiss the man.

Jacerryl stood up, "We are not done and I will be back later with more questions." The captain stormed out of the room.

"We are sorry to interrupt. I hope the city guards won't cause problems." Christie said.

Sinafey laughed, "Not at all. He does not care if some street thugs got killed; it's a nightly occurrence in this city. He is just looking for a bribe. Added to the fact the Dark Lady and we as her followers detest slavery and do our best to encourage others in the city not to take slaves or free the ones they have; to little effect I am afraid. This is such a wicked city." The older drow looked at Christie's friends. "So you brought your companions. How delightful."

Christie introduced her friends to the high priestess one by one.

"A paladin of Tyr. We are honored, sir." She gave Jason a slight bow. "And a dwarf of Clan Bloodax was it?" She sked Ahira who nodded, "I know that clan well, good dwarf, my people had ummm...differences shall we say... with them before the clan mysteriously vanished. They were mighty warriors and a noble clan." She nodded to Rain and Lou as they were introduced and when Christie introduced Natalie Sinafey took the elf's hands and brought them to her lips, "A Moon Elf...what a wonderful pleasure to have you here, my dear. We don't see your kind often in our temples. Sadly bad blood between our races runs deep."

Sinafey clapped her hands and the novices placed chairs around the table for the party to sit and a novice set cups before them and the one with the pitcher poured them wine.

"So what brings you here, sister? I have a feeling this is not a social visit."

"No, Mistress, we came seeking help." Christie answered and explained the reason for the visit.

As Christie talked Sinafey listened with interest and when her guest finished explaining her request for help the older drow smiled.

"Of course we will help." She said. "I can't spare many since we are a small temple here but I can send two of my male guards and a priestess to assist you as well as supply you with some healing potions."

"That's it? It's that simple?" Ahira interjected. "No thinking about it or debating or more questions or asking for gold?"

Sinafey smiled at him, "My good dwarf, a Sister and Priestess of Eilistraee needs our help so of course I will provide it. Plus these evil creatures must be destroyed. We had heard rumors of their existence in the city but knew not where they were. Not many people are willing to give drow information." She chuckled. "I just wish I could do more."

Ahira squirmed in his seat embarrassed by his outburst, "I am sorry...I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I was just shocked you agreed so quickly and we are very grateful for whatever help you can give us. We will give you a share of our reward."