No 'im'

I was lying on the bed not feeling particularly tired, it was 11.30 and I should have felt tired, as I had a big days work to do in the morning, but sleep eluded me!

That is the problem when you have a hard day in front of you and you start to plan what you are going to do in your mind, you find that you cannot relax and doze off.

So here I was lying on my bed, with nothing to distract my mind from tomorrow, it was far too late to ring any of my friends, they would scream at me and hang up; if I rang them at that time and complained that I could not sleep.

Then it dawned on me, there was the computer and the Net!

I figured I would be able to find one of my friends on line for sure, so I went and poured my self a scotch and water, turned on the computer and connected to the net.

I thought that I would soon find out if anyone of my friends were on line, I clicked on AIM and all I got was a message "This page is temporally unavailable", well so be it, I have other Instant Messengers, so I tried "MSN" and the same thing happened, so I thought well maybe "Yahoo" would be on line...well no it wasn't.

What was going on?

Had the whole world shut down?

Mmmmm...Google will find something, I thought to myself.

I clicked "Search", I typed in "Life" and clicked "Google Search" and waited... Something in a strange language appeared, now my knowledge of foreign languages is not very good, but I was pretty sure that I had never seen anything like that before.

In trueness to form "Google" had 'Translate this page' displayed, so I clicked that.

Up came the message "Do you want to chat?"

Well "Yes!" I thought, and typed in 'yes.'

A black page with white printing appeared; it read "TYPE YOUR NAME HERE".

So I did...the page went blank and then it read, "CLICK THE TOPIC YOU WISH."

There were only two categories displayed "Life and Death"

Well I certainly did not want to chat about dying so I clicked "Life".

The screen turned white and the familiar black typing appeared "What is the most important thing about life?" I read.

To me the answer was very easy so I typed 'Existence'.

"What is the most wonderful thing about Existence?"

I typed 'Communicating with others on all levels'.

"Which level pleases you most?"

I typed 'Sexual'.

"What do you like to have sex with?"

Now I thought this was a very strange question, but well the obvious answer for me was 'girls' being a male, so I typed 'Girls'.

"Are you a Girl?"

I typed 'No, I am a male'.

"Males and females have sex?"

Well I was getting very confused here; who ever I was chatting with obviously knew Girls were females, well doesn't everyone?

Just to humour him/her I typed 'Yes'.

"Do you like to have sex often?"

'About once a day', I typed

"Is that typical of your species?"

Now that is something I did not really have a clue about, all I knew was how often I liked to have an orgasm, and not the rest of the population. I typed 'I do not know about others'

"I have been looking for someone like you for ages".

'Why is that?' I typed.

"Our males rarely want to have sex more than once a month."

'Who are you?'

"I am a female"

Well I would have guessed that when she said "Our males" it was more of "WHAT WAS SHE?" that entered my mind. I typed 'Where are you?'

"Above you."

'Where?'

"Above you."

'Are you human?'

"No"

'Do you look like humans?'

"Yes."

'Why are you chatting with me?'

"I am looking for a partner"

'You are??????????'

"Yes."

'What about your own males?'

"They are not sexually for-filling at all."

"I want more from life, I want sex like you, and I want to fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck!"

Obviously she new all about our language, but to fuck an alien???

'Are you and I sexually compatible? Like will we fit together?' I typed.

"Yes, I am a little smaller than your females, but we will 'fit'."

'You really want to try?'

"Yes, you are mine now."

'Don't I have any choice in the matter?'

"No you chose at the start of the 'Chat'."

"Had you typed 'Death', you would no longer be alive! You chose wisely, you will have all the sex you want, that is my gift to you."

It seemed that this was not a very good deal to me; I was just about to start typing 'No Way", when there was a bright light out side the window, I did not remember anything more until I awoke in a strange metal room.