Just how big an orgy do we have here?
Thanks to my editor kenjisato. Also, to LanguageTool. Combined, they put me right. Any problems left all belong to me.
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Last week, Jewel told me she was engaged. Over the next several days, she told me all about him, and his reaction to Angel as a third. They both told me all about Mark Wagner, the man in Jewel's life. It seems they met in a coffee house not far from the law firm he worked for. It was also near where their apartment was, so they kept bumping into each other.
While this lifted my spirits, my depression was still there. What I did, did not sit well with me. That the ones who died deserved it, I agreed with. But being the instrument of that vengeance for Inanna is not something I'm cut out for. Killing one who is trying to kill me is a matter of survival, and does not carry the emotional weight that an execution does. I needed a way to find spiritual peace. Eventually, I remembered Mato Hatathli and his sand painting.
One evening, I called him up, and spoke with him about learning sand painting as a way to settle my mind. He told me he wanted to teach it to his latest apprentice shaman, and was curious to see if he could teach us at the same time. He also indicated it would take several weekends. I told him to call back, and I would make time. Two days later, he did, and we would start in two weekends.
I drove up the night before, and stayed at a local motel. I let Mato know I had arrived. In the morning, I arrived at his place just after nine, as he had asked. As I walked up, he greeted me.
"Hello, Becky Sue."
"Hello, Mato."
"What brings you to your decision?"
"A long story. Do we have time?"
"My apprentice is fetching groceries. He won't be back for nearly an hour."
So I told him the story, and why I have been depressed.
"What you describe is not uncommon in law enforcement. You have accepted that what you have done is right, but your empathy with the perps makes it hard to deal with. The ritual may not help you, but it will help you clear your mind of irrelevant things, which in turn may make it easier to process. Just so you know, the ritual is not perfect."
"I understand. Oh, by the way, I did do some sand painting as a token after I defeated some mages."
"Oh? And you come to me to learn?"
"Not the art. I want to learn the ritual behind it. I am enough of an artist that I was able to make a passable imitation, but I don't know what I saw: calming your mind through the art. I have tried the martial art techniques, but they have not worked well on my depression, so I decided I needed a different approach, and thought of you."
"You mentioned mages, tell me about them."
"The first found me, and attacked. I defeated him, and as he was responsible for trapping the small site of power. I turned him over to An, the god who was involved with the site. He is no longer a concern, and may yet live. I don't know, nor care. The next came after I freed the site into a new location. I expect you felt the effects of that."
"I did? What effects would that be?"
"The Storm."
"There are many storms, why would I note it?"
"Over Death Valley?"
His eyes got really big. "You were responsible for it?"
"I actually became part of it for a time."
"I think I need to revise my estimate of your power again. By a large amount."
"Most of that power was An's, not mine. I only directed it, mostly. Even so, I'm glad few died."
"Yeah. That hurricane set all sorts of records. A fair amount of damage, and I am sure quite a few learned it was supernatural."
"That's why the second mage came. I am linked to Death Valley now, and so when someone started messing about magically, I felt it. When I confronted him, he attacked. After I took him down, I took him home and took away his magic books and his talismans. He might try to be a powerful mage again, but he will know to be more careful. The third was another who tried to do the same. She was a lot harder to defeat, but I did in the end. I did to her the same as the last one, but I had to do more, as she had a contract with a demon, and had the demon's hand in place of one of hers."
"What? It takes a lot of power to bind a demon."
"She was known as Kate Demon Hand. I caused her body to reject it, and the demon blood, which in turn broke her contract. I have since learned the demon came to collect, and she is no longer alive."
"I have heard of her. She's supposed to be one of the most powerful mages about."
"I was told she wasn't just one of them, but actually the strongest. And she was well protected, from magic, mental, and physical attacks. But a fifty-pound staff moving very quickly hits much harder than a bullet. Even so, it only knocked her out. I had to use an exorcism ritual to weaken her enough to let my other abilities work."
"Wow."
"The fourth mage, however, was different. He came to learn, not to gain power. I questioned him, then asked An to check him out. An decided he would make a good guardian."
"You let a mage be a guardian for a spiritual power?"
"If a god is happy with him, who am I to say otherwise?"
"A point."
"So, I've taken him under my wing to teach him, with the intent of making him a better guardian, not unlike your apprentices."
We spoke a bit more, before falling into a comfortable silence. Eventually, a truck pulled up.
"This is my apprentice." We got up and helped him unload. "Roger, I'd like to introduce Becky Sue Tate. Becky Sue, this is Roger Chadwick."
"Hello, Roger."
"Hello, Becky Sue."
We got everything settled in the cabin, and then Mato told us to follow him. We fell in behind, as he led the way to his workshop. "Here, each of you, take a set." He pointed to a pair of carriers with empty jars. I recognized the symbols on the lid, as the same I copied to the large stone jars I made and saw them still where I left them. Going over to them, in fact, he told us the name of each symbol, and its meaning, and then directed us to fill the corresponding jar. We then followed him, each with our own sand carrier, to the painting rock. As we walked, he told us about the ritual, and its meaning.
"Roger, Becky Sue, this ritual is not about art. What you create may be beautiful or ugly. It matters not, for it is about your mind and spirit that the ritual is about. I know Becky Sue is an artist, so I expect her paintings to be interesting, but that is secondary, and much more suited to the tourists. Freeing your mind and spirit is the hard part.
"Each color of sand has its own meaning. These meanings are not words of a story you create, but rather words to inspire your thoughts. As you pour the sand, think about the word and its meaning. When you feel you have thought about it sufficiently, choose another color and think about its word. Usually, you will use all the colors, but sometimes you will feel a need to skip a color because the other words need to be more expressed. The words you focus on will guide your thoughts, and the art is just a byproduct.
"Another aspect is making the sand flow just right. Each flows at its own pace. You must concentrate to make it flow as you need it, and not too fast. If it falls too slow, it may make you lose focus, but that is easier to handle. For this first attempt, I want you to make a small painting, perhaps one foot in diameter. As you pick up a jar and put sand into your hand, I want you to say the word of the symbol on the lid. While you pour the sand, I want you to speak your thoughts on the word. As far as art is concerned, work on an even flow of sand. I will show you the speed it should fall. Just spread it evenly, starting in the center, and just making the circle larger as you go around the edge. Change colors as needed. Roger, you'll begin first."
Mato demonstrated the flow, and worked with Roger to get him started. A few times, Mato had to correct Roger on the word, and helped him to pour sand. Fifteen minutes later, Mato told Roger to stop. They spoke for another fifteen minutes about what everything meant, and how the thoughts reflected Roger's inner thoughts. Now, it was my turn. While my memory is not perfect, it was more than up to the task of remembering the words for each symbol. When it came to speaking my thoughts, I did my best to give them free rein. My rock sense allowed me to have a more refined level of control of the sand, but I did not use my ability over sand to affect it.
"Becky Sue, I am surprised again."
"How so?"
"I thought you would use far more control on your thoughts. I didn't expect you to be this open."
"If I am to learn, I must do as you say. You want unrestrained thoughts, then that is what I shall do. I am mildly concerned should I accidentally mention secrets, but I trust you, and also your choice of my fellow student."
"You are so young. How did you become so wise? And I am humbled by your trust."
We then spoke about what I had said, and how it reflected my own inner thoughts. He also spoke as to how they showed my inner turmoil. We spoke for maybe fifteen minutes. Mato then told us to sit and reflect on our thoughts, and also on the other's thoughts. He then closed his eyes, and I could sense he was listening to us. I thought about what I said, and what Roger had said, while we waited for him to speak. We contemplated our words for nearly half an hour, when Mato finally spoke.
Mato spoke to us and how to use the words to direct our thoughts, and how to use our thoughts to clear our concerns by seeing them truly. He gave examples drawn from what we said. He also pointed out how we also had similarities to each other. He gave us instructions to contemplate our thoughts even as we thought them. This time, I went first. He let us go for over twenty minutes, as our expressed thoughts took longer. Likewise, discussing them took longer. When he finished talking with Roger, he had us meditate again, for nearly half an hour. Next he spoke to us, even as he had us pack up and return the carriers to the shed.
Over lunch, we talked casually about ourselves. Mato wanted us to know about each other. "Roger, Becky Sue here is a powerful priestess, old school style. She has some divine powers, and has already faced several mages. Becky Sue, Roger is an apprentice shaman. I have been teaching him for some years. He also has some spiritual and magical abilities. Roger, why don't you tell Becky Sue a little about what I taught you recently."
"Okay. Mato taught me to tune into the land about me, and feel the animals nearby. I have to still my mind, and listen, which is quite hard. But in time, I have learned to tell what animals are nearby, and even a bit about its health."
"Why don't you show her?"
"Right. Give me a moment..." Roger closed his eyes, and I could sense him stilling his mind. "I can sense some deer that way, about seven hundred yards or so."
I focused and looked for them where he pointed. "Yes, I see them. Four adults and three fawns. They seem at ease."
"You can tell that much?"
"I told you, she is powerful."
"I can. Before Mato and I knew each other, I had a limited ability. But when I went into the waterfall, my inner senses for life were greatly enhanced. I could feel the life about me, and even the cycles they followed. I lost track of time, but emerged three days later, where I found Mato waiting for me."
"You've been to the falls? Mato, how is this possible?"
"She asked, and when questioned, she answered honestly. Her desire was to purify herself from psychic debris, and the falls chose to grant her desire. Becky Sue, why don't you show something you recently learned."
"I'll need some materials first." So I summoned a pile of sand to the table.
"Woah! That's cool."
