New Intergalactic Sex Toys!

As a senior member of the Verkerit Battle Force it's fair to say I've done well. I was first on the ground in the Jascratt offensive, and I lived through the Brillig massacre. I've survived assassination, politics, and recurring back pain. I'm in a good place, and that means when I want to get laid, I have plenty of choice: my wives; a few rather beautiful military protégées; the servants. I'm frequently offered amusements on diplomatic missions that it would be downright rude to refuse, and occasionally one of the other female officers is feeling up for it and I, I should stress, I am almost always up for it. So I get laid when I want to, and I don't get too many complaints. I thought I was fine. Until I discovered something new. Something special. Something alien. A new intergalactic sex toy. You've probably heard the rumours, and let me tell you: They're all true.

I was off-world near Ranjit taking some much-needed R&R on the sea world of Boltratroon when I heard some of the guys talking about. Blackterf, who is a young beast not fit to lick my tail hole, was slamming back jar after jar of Schwash and talking about some new orbital brothel he'd been to on the moons of Megradoor. He said that what had happened there had basically blown all three of his minds. I thought he was exaggerating, and that's the first time I heard about humans.

They're a shock at first. Quite small and slender, only two Bath tall, no keratin plates, and they look unpeeled, raw even, very little body hair except on their heads and around their Lords and Ladies. There's no mass or heft to them. You can pick three up under each arm, and carry two more on each shoulder, which I recommend, it amuses them.

The skin, the holes, the fucking: perfection. They're slippery and tight and so excellent that when you unsheathe your Lord and stick it into them it feels like nothing else in this galaxy.

By one of those cute evolutionary coincidences that make all sentient creatures believe in the existence of higher beings, they have a massive genetic disadvantage when we take them. It seems there's a pheromonal sex musk we secrete through our body plates that drives them mad. They can't help it, the poor things. Simply go into one of their play spaces, and you'll see. They'll be lying around, naked pink boys and girls lounging on chaises and pillows. The men are more muscular, with strong chests and arms and legs, and of straighter build, with cute little Lords, no bigger than your finger nail, that spit most amusingly when you fuck their tail holes or suck them gently with your mouth. The women are curvier, with delightful soft milk sacks they call breasts,and delicate pink Ladies that feel extraordinarily good around your Lord. They're also lovely to lick and suck, with a sweet, delicious taste that's impossible to describe: they taste like love, and I assure you, everyone is talking about it.

As soon as you walk into the room and take off your armour, they start to respond. The men start to get hard Lords, and to shift uncomfortably. They don't know what's happening to them, the poor dears, their little things all so hard and stiff they look like they're going to explode. The woman's eyes start to half close, and they start to touch themselves, and then in their confusion they touch each other, touching their Ladies, popping a finger in their tail holes, kissing each other's breasts, and generally going wild.

Once you've got your armour off, you can trigger even more arousal by beating your chest plates - it seems to bring up the musk, and if you roar, that gets their little Lords leaping and their soft Ladies weeping, and before you know it they become so horny they all start to fuck each other, weeping, moaning, begging. The men will present their tail holes and their little Lords, and the women throw themselves on their backs and rub their Ladies.

At this point I'm usually so hard that my own Lord is fit to burst. To be totally honest, I'm not the biggest chap in the battalion, and thank goodness, because they're easy to damage, the poor little things. Blakterf is hung like a Juff and split two of the men with that great thing of his. I'm of a more delicate build, and my Lord is only eighteen Nak long, about seven Nak around. They struggle, but they can take it, because the truth is they are remarkably sturdy and flexible for an After the death of President Jessop four years earlier, the threat is taken very seriously species of such delicacy and grace.

Then I get a couple of the women to start sucking. They are usually whining to be fucked, and they're terribly impatient, crowding around your Lord on their knees, rubbing between their legs, mewling and fighting to suck it deep into their mouths. The musk is most intense when they start to taste you, and that's when things really heat up. They force their pretty little faces down on your thing and move them back and forth, it's the most extraordinary thing you've ever seen, it's as though they're trying to eat you. They have beautiful little shining eyes, and they look up at your, their mouths choked with Lord, it's one of the wonders of the universe. They want it so much. They whine and beg for more, and you must be kind and share your Lord with each in term, and make sure they get what they need fairly, or it will cause bad feeling. Fuck them all, over and over again, as is only fair.

When I'm fit to burst I take one of the men and flip him over and get the women to lick his tail hole and get it it nice and wet. It's hard to describe how good it feels to slip your Lord deep into male tail-hole. They cry and moan and their own little Lords stick out, and it's a good idea to get one of the women to suck their little things fiercely when you fuck their men, as that keeps the male so off balance that he can't resist as you push deeper and deeper into him. Sometimes some ancient innocence means their tail-hole ring tries to reject you, but of course they are too soft to resist our Lords, and when you push your hardness into them, they moan and shake like they're in a fever, overcome by the force and hardness of it.

When the little thing has shot its load four or five times (our musk seems to have a big effect on their stamina, it's most amusing) then I like to play with the women. I lie on my back and get them to sit neatly on my face, and then one by one I lick and suck their sweet pink Ladies while they squeeze their breasts, and moan, and scream, for our tongues are much longer and more powerful than human tongues, and we penetrate deep into their beings, and when we vibrate our tongues, it seems to take them to the very limits of ecstasy. It's a good trick to slip a claw finger up their tail-holes at the same time, they scream as though it were going to hurt them, but then they grind their tails down on your hand and moan and weep and fuck your claw.

And of course all this time three or four of the little pink kittens are sucking and licking jerking and riding your Lord. I like it especially when one of them is riding while two other women are working its tail hole and squeezing her breasts and kissing her lips. They become quite overwhelmed and when they arrive at their final destination they often weep and fall asleep, gently rocking and holding each other.

After five or six hours, when I am spent, the room looks like the aftermath of some terrible victory. Their little pink bodies lay everywhere, snoozing on each other, little faces still gently sucking a breast, or licking a Lord to try and make the ecstasy last a few moments longer. You really must give it a try, tell them I sent you and you'll get a discount.