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SCIENCE FICTION FANTASY

Needs And Wants 1

Needs And Wants 1

by olivereys
19 min read
4.22 (1300 views)
adultfiction

ONE.

One must destroy the wisdom of the wise, and bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.

Chelsee pondered this. It was his loneliness that drew him to this teaching, for he normally would not gravitate towards the later pamphlets. He found them too caustic in nature. He supposed he should lean into those now, in his current circumstance. There was nothing better to do. He had ten minutes left of his dinnertime, and the fat in the pork had put him off of his stew. Around him, the crew tore into their food, and spoke lazily. It was the only meal they spoke at all. Mostly their meal time seemed better conserved for eating. He'd seen it before that they were forced up before scarcely eating a bite. Because some line had snapped, or the sea's temperament had turned, or some secret information had to be dealt with that only he was not privy to.

A weaker part of him longed for those meals better, because it concealed the true feelings the crew had toward him. He sat among them, and yet entirely separate from their conversations. They talked of their day, mostly, or old voyages. Often they re-lived tales of drunken nights off, more often of whores whose warmth they missed. Nothing that Chelsee could contribute to, even if he had wanted to.

Thankfully, the interpretation of this text didn't come easily to him. The teachings of Iso encouraged man to dismantle his own belief, for the more comfortable he got in his own logics, the farther he strayed from his own Indo. He believed this, but as he watched sailors laugh and compare the sound of the wet cabbage in their broth to that of "good cunt," he wished sometimes Iso would follow through more swiftly with its promises. Then he rebuked himself for thinking it.

Still his own papers stayed blank except for the one excerpt. He weighed giving up on it for the eve.

"You can laugh, lest you think it will forfeit your Iso."

Chelsee looked up to see Akil staring back at him coolly.

"Though if it does, that would mean you aren't holding your end of the bargain."

Chelsee reached for his spoon listlessly. "I appreciate the camaraderie you all have aboard. For myself I try to hold more reverence for the women we encounter off-board."

"Right, right," Akil waved him off before he could finish. "You consults of Iso have a pamphlet where your prick should be. You've no taste for pleasure."

Chelsee studied the first mate. He was exceptionally muscular, browned like a native Edenian, probably pirating for his whole lifetime. He was purple with bruises, scabbed, rubbery from the sun; but he sat straight up like a horse, radiating health somehow. And in that respect he alone excelled. The ship looked to him with a respect Chelsee was bemused by, although for how high his revere was he wasn't overly friendly with anyone. This conversation was the first he'd struck with Chelsee.

"Iso doesn't rebuke pleasure," he said delicately, so as not to lose him. "I believe approached with discipline, pleasure is Iso's gift to man." "I believe it cautions us against succumbing to the Temptations of Flesh, but that that great adversity is what creates meaning."

Akil remained wordless. If not for his gaze, Chelsee would've thought he stopped listening altogether.

He touched his empty paper. "I devote my time to documenting this great balance in my own life, then I send it for the consults to read. Or anyone that wants to." He thought about adding that many people did want to, but guessed the opinion of the devout would not mean that much to Akil.

"So as you can see, my parchment is kept very far from my prick."

A faint smile pulled at Akil's lips. "A writer then. Not a consult."

Chelsee weighed explaining that this was a great honor. The consults were few, and fewer of them still were gifted the responsibility to document. Few of Iso's consults possessed the unique ability to so detach from their personal feeling that they could recount and assess where Iso breathed its influence in their life. Men were too far often blinded by their wants.

He pointed at the piece of bread floating in Akil's stew.

"Well. If, upon closer inspection, you noticed this bread had molded,"

Akil raised his eyebrows, and snatched up the bread. "Has it?"

"I- no. For the sake of the teaching..."

"Here we go."

Chelsee dropped it. The crew would often buck if he offered his opinion. He was now used to letting it go. It once hurt him to see such little curiosity among such a large gathering of men. Among the consults, which were much fewer, one could freely ponder. It was welcome to discuss anything, and challenge others' notions of the world. Here he went so unstimulated, the thoughts he could come up with now he was no longer sure were worth pondering.

"What then, consult? You've lost your nerve?"

He looked up again. Akil looked expectant, holding the unmolded bread in his hand.

A small flame danced in his stomach. "Well. You'd be upset if it molded."

"Of Iso, we do believe and accept." Akil's tone was icy with sarcasm, although it was not lost on Chelsee that he somehow knew the familiar close-chant to begin with. He made a note to ask about it later, but he kicked himself for his clumsy choice of wording.

"I believe that is your want casting a shadow on the way things are, on the reality of the bread," he said. "Perhaps the bread would be a portion too much of food, and send you to empty it all overboard, thus losing your dinner. Or perhaps you consume the mold, and it makes you sick, but tomorrow morning the swells rise so large they slash against your post on the upper deck and would've knocked you overboard had you been there. It is these musings, in my own life, that I ponder and assess."

He watched Akil turn it over in his mind.

"If I had been sick, someone would've been at my post to replace me. So the poor sap picking up my slack is the better man to die instead?"

"Yes," he said, and despite Akil's objections, "Through Iso, the bread is but one link in the chain. Perhaps it molded because it was meant to pass that your second mate would go Home, and below the waters is a fledgling whale weak from starvation, whose time has not yet come. Or perhaps, back on Eden, his wife has this month healed from her bruising, and has hoped something might deliver her from a husband of this temperament."

"Ansar is no beater!" Akil protested.

This objection caused a few of the ship's heads to turn in their direction. Chelsee spread his hands. "I merely say it to illustrate a point: all of our lives are but links in a chain, interconnected, and there to serve the greater will. It is not for us to deliberate on what has happened to us, for it simply is. We are introduced into each other's lives for a greater purpose, always. We must go in the direction of this, even when it feels most vulnerable for us."

When the door to the mess flung open, it slammed against the wall with such force it smashed two of the wooden planks. He recognized the older of the twin hunters: Illya. They both existed in this state of looking subhuman in a way that unnerved him. It was told in their pale skin, their purple eyes, their extreme height that he and his sibling hailed from the outskirts of Acacia. It was in part because of this culture that they composed themself so abrasive and uncaring to their surroundings. It was in part their complete estrangement from Iso.

But where was twin Jordana?

Chelsee thought this fledgling of irritation he felt at being interrupted, just as his point had been made to Akil, was what he should write of. Undoubtedly the twins were the

wisdom of the wise

aboard this ship. And here they were, as assured to enter at this moment, as the point of Iso was to land on Akil. Perhaps the scripture was a warning to the devout: that this culture of individuality could easily corrupt those that had even a passing wonder about the spirit of Iso. They held a certain charisma aboard due to their experience, and their utter success carrying out what was asked of them. But offboard, the twin hunters were nothing more than brutes. They barreled through their lives wanting and taking, and because of this, their wants cast shadows on the way things are.

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Jordana bent down to enter into the mess hall, and with it he hauled a girl Chelsee had never seen before. He, along with the ship, watched her silently.

She looked as roughed up as the twins, her arms tied back by rope. She looked afraid, and she hung barely upright in Jordana's hands. A chill crept down Chelsee's spine watching her.

"So the captain is a cunt muncher after all," Milton said loudly, which erupted the table into laughter. Jordana smiled, his lizard eyes shining.

"That'll be the bounty, idiot," Akil said lightly. Chelsee could feel that Akil's stare had not moved from him. He avoided his eye, which was easy to do considering the state of the room.

"Listen good," Illya called out. "Is orders direct from Captain Wilona."

The girl squirmed, but she did not resist hard. Chelsee felt grief for her. The weight of Jordana's grip must have been difficult to bear. Had he any reason to hold so tightly on a woman of such small stature? But the twins, especially he, relished in the brutality. It made them efficient hunters aboard, and to Chelsee, had cost them every shred of their Indo.

"In week's time, this bounty will be dropped off in Delton."

Conversation erupted immediately.

"SHUT IT!" Illya bellowed, which shushed the room as quickly as it had been disturbed. "We will be on mainland for one night. We will discuss terms of shore time after bounty has been dealt with. Only then."

"But no one is to fuck bounty. She is to remain untouched... by all."

Illya delivered this news so matter-of-factly it made Chelsee's stomach turn.

She wore a linen dress, sheer to offset the summer heat, which left little to be desired by the imagination. Her cheeks were round, her lips plump, her eyes wide, though Chelsee guessed that could be the immense fear.

The feeling it evoked for him, Chelsee didn't have a name. He found the whole circumstance, even as it still unfolded before him, completely disturbing. What was even worse, he could still feel Akil's eyes on him. Observing something. Undoubtedly a vulnerability Chelsee would prefer the chance to unravel himself first.

"If terms are broken, Jordana will retaliate in same manner, and won't be gentle. Though probably, you lot would like it too much."

Some sneering from the crowd.

"Then I will kill you myself," Illya said simply. "That is all."

As he watched her ushered away, she looked as helpless as a doe. He'd watched many of them slaughtered in his time in the countryside, and never once had he felt his Indo at peace, nor that that was just the way of things. He witnessed it as a greed, as someone's want casting a shadow on the way things are.

Then, she looked at him. Briefly, as she was to exit the mess hall for the aft, she had honed in on him and met his gaze precisely. Speechless, Chelsee watched her.

"You know nothing of pleasure - " Akil realized. There was a flatness to his statement. Chelsee would've thought he said it in jest, if not for the curiosity in his eyes.

"Now that's a thinker for you. You should write it down on that blank parchment," he beamed. "How you can consider yourself a disciple of discipline or what-have-you, if you've not ever felt the warmth of a cunt on your prick in the first place." He laughed. "You don't even know what you're missing!"

Chelsee felt himself flush hot with embarrassment. "I simply have not experienced it. That does not mean it doesn't call to me."

"Oh, I know it calls to you, big boy," Akil laughed, delighted. "You get a good enough look at her?" Chelsee felt a flash of anger replace his shame, if just briefly. Why did the ship commit to misunderstanding him so? What was the appeal in his misery?

"Who could look away from such a ghastly showing of her?" Chelsee asked. He forced himself to be calm, so as not to come across defensive. "She too is a creature of Iso. I would like only to ensure she is okay."

Akil grinned like a shark. Like a trap he had set had been triggered.

"Now that is your want, casting a shadow on the way things are."

TWO.

One must destroy the wisdom of the wise...

He knew where they'd keep her. Chained, down in the bilge. It was nary the first person he'd witnessed cross paths with the Eden Isle.

When Chelsee stole away from his cot to visit the prisoner, he waited until a hairsbreadth from the morning.

"You've no business down here, consult."

Chelsee didn't know this man's name, though he'd seen his bullish face around the ship before. It didn't matter much. Their rebuke of his presence had made it so he needn't learn more names than came naturally to him. Sometimes he so despised being aboard. He once had been curious about his fellow men. Now he rarely spared even innocent questions, for fear they would snap at him before he could work out what had set them off.

Chelsee once provoked Milton by asking him where he had learned to dress his salted pork in syrup. He had never seen that custom in his region before. The man had taken it as an insult of weight, and the crew mocked him for two days. Chelsee had answered for it in a beating the second midnight. He hadn't ever wondered aloud again. Not even now, for a name.

Although, he supposed that would not be acting in the name of Iso.

"I do not believe we have been acquainted," Chelsee tried.

"I do not believe I give a rat's dick about that," the man said simply. "Turn your ass around."

Chelsee sighed. This was simply the way things were.

"I've special permission to keep the ship's good fortune intact, in the name of Iso," he said. "I would like to offer a chant for this bounty. I would like to offer it to her face, to spare her Indo."

"There's no Indo to be spared there," he rebuffed. "'Tis but a bounty."

"I won't ask it again. Turn your ass around."

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It saddened him, the state of these people.

Chelsee bowed his head in prayer. He chanted in Isoic.

"Your prayers are not needed here, boy." The man's words tensed. He was losing his patience, which means he did not have much time.

The guard's head dropped, as if his neck suddenly refused to carry his weight. He stood suspended.

Chelsee would have to write later to his home-study to inform them of this practice, and justify its usage.

Something whispered in the back of his mind. He hoped he could justify its usage.

Chelsee entered the bilge.

THREE.

"I have to shut the door some of the way, lest they interrupt us." Chelsee paused, forgetting himself. "Forgive me. I mean you no harm. I succumb not to the Temptations of Flesh."

The bilge was damp and completely dark. He could hardly see the girl's silhouette, but he could feel her pointed in his direction.

She blinked at him. "Was it you singing in the hall?"

Chelsee took a long pause. "It was. That was a chant... A very impassioned chant."

The moments in between felt like forever in the darkness.

"I liked the song," she said, not quite understanding. "It seemed sad to me." Then, "There's a lantern just beside me. I've been conserving it."

Lighting it was not much help for the vast bilge, but it shed more clarity on the girl's appearance. Her hair clung to her neck, her clothes heavy with the damp of the ocean seeping through. She sat with her back flat against the wall, her legs outstretched, almost loftily.

It, at least, was quiet this far below deck. It was far enough down that you could not hear the water clash against the ship, nor the relentless wind whip anything loose of its place to smash around the deck. This far down there was a separation from the men, too. But the stench of mold was unbearable, and the moisture seeping through the wood made the air muggy and thick. Already he felt his breath labor.

"Are you truly here in earnest?" she asked. "Or are you here to rape me?"

What little breath Chelsee had was swept from his lungs.

"No!" he blurted firmly. "My heart weeps for you, that you would have felt that instinct, even for a moment."

Perhaps that was inadequate a defense.

He tried to imagine where the traders had plucked her from, the circumstances leading up to her abduction. It was not often sympathetic characters he would see hauled to the bilge from the mess hall. Often it was men who proved in the moment of meeting them that they had someway, in part, earned their fate.

He thought about it again. He supposed Iso would caution against this use of language. Fate is not so much the thing of it, as it is a decision one makes to walk towards or farther from Iso. It is having the decency to surrender to the way that it is, and the humility to ponder one's wants and needs. The usual prisoners aboard were men that wanted and needed above all else. That was what strayed them from the way.

"I brought clean clothes," he added lamely. "You and I share not such different roles aboard this ship. Consider it a small kindness of Iso. I would hope."

They'd undoubtedly be too big. They were a set of sailing trousers and a tattered top that they'd offered him should he want to rid himself of his consult's garb. But he had not.

"Thank you," she said sincerely, and immediately stripped of her garbs.

Chelsee turned promptly, and focused his energy on the wall. He could still see her silhouette against the orange of the lantern.

Her breasts sloped as she bent to draw his pants up her legs, and jiggled as she drew herself back up. She moved her wet hair from her neck. Her figure was enticingly curved, and plump. She looked blessed with the gift of birthing hips, perhaps of fertility.

Was that of Iso to observe?

She took her time fidgeting with the string of his shirt.

"Are you meant to untie the thread?" she asked.

"I - yes, it's a bit difficult. It gets stuck within the fabric."

"Would you show me?"

He turned to face her. She looked at him with an unawareness, as if she was not exposed. His pants were too big for her figure. They threatened to slip, if not held up by the thread around the waist. She held his shirt out for him.

Chelsee attempted the knot, but his fingers felt like rubber. Past the fabric, he could see that she was watching him closely as he worked the thread. She was so near. He felt her breath, watched her chest rise and fall. The lantern cast a glow over her eyes. They watched him with an emotion Chelsee did not have a name for.

When she took the shirt from him, her hands glided over his fingers first. He bid her a good night immediately, and took his leave.

That night, on his cot, Chelsee stared into the darkness and tried to name such an emotion. He felt something tugging in his stomach. Had anyone witnessed such flesh before? Hips that curved like hills, that would fit his hands on their slopes so perfectly? Lips that formed such a soft O? That looked so sweet and plump? She was so delicate, and he was but a man. The tugging in his stomach expanded at the thought, and felt like a wet warmth down into his groin, and his thighs. His hand twitched. Chelsee thought about addressing the feeling, if only for a better chance at sleep, but he thought against it. In the name of Iso, maybe, or more honestly to encourage a dream of her instead.

The second night he visited, Chelsee stood in the doorway, and sheepishly asked if he could chant for her. Really he had wanted an excuse to come back, but it was still better than offering nothing.

"A chant?" Her eyes remained steadfast. "You and I have come from very different paths."

"I admit it freely," he said. "I did not come to presume anything, except that our life's paths have led us to share the same evening together. That is the belief of Iso."

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