Mysterious Notes of Patti

My family and I went to one of our favorite Mexican restaurants and it was there that everything started becoming bizarre. Why I was picked, if you want to call it that, I don't know.

This is a tale that's weird and unbelievable. While waiting for dinner, I stepped away from our table and went outside for a cigarette. It was Indian Summer in late October and nobody was around except for passing traffic.

Upon lighting up my smoke, she walked out and appeared to do the same, but actually only sucked on a straw. She was a pretty but a chunky girl with all the right attributes that I would love to have in a woman if I was to date her. I used my imagination a bit when deciding if I actually liked her. She wasn't a girl by any stretch as she had to be around 30 I guess.

"Nice evening for a walk up the strip here isn't it umm Dan" guessing or actually knowing my name, hitting it dead on. She smiled and everything from her shoulders up sparkled bright and that gaze went right through me. "Yep, I'd love any man's hand right now so we could walk romantically up through town. Doesn't that sound nice to you?"

I didn't know if she was speaking generically or directly to me, but she did use my first name and how the heck she knew it was beyond me. "It is Dan right, you just look like a Dan to me" and she smiled on and on.

The woman's hair was a mid-length wavier cut and pulled back nicely into a pony tail. It complimented her hazel eyes. Her soft tanned cheeks were not over done. In other words she didn't over due it at a tanning spa or anywhere else. She was about my wife's height at 5' 7" and no signs of too much extra weight other then her full breasts; after further review I looked past her waist line and she was Queen's version of a Fat Bottom Girl. Oh yeah, she was totally a Fat Bottom Girl. Overall that fat bottom meshed right along with thick smooth thighs a guy would find on a young 20 to 25 year old.

"Umm well, I think something like that would be nice too" Replying to her unsolicited comment. "I suppose if I wasn't married I'd take you up on the offer since then I'd be free to do that now wouldn't I?" She looked at me in a friendly manner smiling and nodding her head yes.

"I like you Dan; so here come in on Tuesday at lunch and here's a coupon for you. I hope to see you. Sorry I can't stay and talk as work calls, doesn't it. Nice getting to know you though." She didn't know anything about me I thought.

I put it in my wallet underneath all my 10's and 1's I keep so no one would see it. Tuesday I came in at 12:15 and sat at a small table up front by the windows of the restaurant. The woman comes up dressed in the standard attire. A black shirt with the Mexican restaurant's logo and that day her black shorts helped me become very fond of her. I watched her work as she walked back and forth up the isle. She was more delicious each time she passed by. Then she came and waited on me.

"Hiii Daniel I am so happy you came into today. What is your pleasure Danny? Anything you want, anything whatsoever, it is yours Danny boy" she said as if hitting on me and putting herself out there for, well you know, putting herself out there.

"I do hope lunch is perfect today, sometimes a cook isn't up to par and lunch can be a little below average, but even then it's good. Here, as she scooted right up next to me like my girlfriend might, let's go over some of the better lunch items on the menu."

Oh my god she turned me on instantly the way she scooted up like a new girlfriend cuddles with you. She smelled pleasant wearing some body spray and it was irresistible too. I accidentally turned my head to take a whiff.

"Ohh you do like it too huh, thank you for noticing. A girl loves to be noticed for that. Mmm and you do that all the time to me." But she referred back to her perfume saying "girls like being noticed for many things other then just that Dan. I know this outfit doesn't do me justice but what do you think?"

Feeling a little more relaxed at her outgoing friendly personality and not even knowing her name for that matter I said "Such as what; I think you're fine the way you are umm I'm sorry I don't know your name."

"Ohhh geez where are my manners? I'm Patrice and you're probably wondering how I figured out your name. Tell you what I'll let you in on a secret soon enough. It's an uncanny one, but I'll tell you in good time. Don't worry it's nothing frightening. Did you want to look over the menu and then order and have a cigarette?"

She was winning me over quickly. I went outside and smoked while waiting for lunch. She came from around the corner after freshening up. "Isn't it just another beautiful day Danny? It's another one of those days isn't it? After lunch, care to take one of those strolls with me?"

I looked into her eyes and thought I'm the one who usually wants to hit on the girl and know I won't get anywhere at all. "Patrice it's a great day for one of those walks. I wish I could take one right now too with a pretty girl like you."

"Maybe that can happen Dan. Wouldn't it be splendid if we could do that?"

Okay I felt as if I was in a dream. I felt as if it was a fairy tale of some sort. She's not real and this isn't real I began to believe. She smiled at me with her sexy wavy curly hair pulled back in a pony tail and hazel eyes melting me.

"Your lunch is ready, better suck that down, and go sit down. I'm on lunch so I'll join you while you eat okay?"

She and I talked about general things as she led the conversation. We really didn't get to know one another personally. She talked and talked about normal things in life that she liked and brought me my bill at the end.

Finally she said "This has been great. Being able to sit and talk with you especially, it has been a perfect day for me. I hope you felt that way. Oh by the way, you don't have to tip me this time, alright Daniel?"

I wondered why I wouldn't. I did anyways. I went up to her as she was cleaning glasses behind the bar and said goodbye and thanks for lunch.

"My pleasure honey" which struck me odd because not once had she called me honey while I was there. She always addressed me as Dan, Daniel, Danny, or Danny boy. Why the honey all of a sudden? "Oh hey by the way Danny boy, oh I'm sorry, Daniel I mean I'll see you soon okay? I mean it I'll see you soon and have a great week. Miss me."

I waved and walked out. Miss me, what did she mean? Umm I thought she's getting too cutsie for me.

In Butanes, a small rural town south of me, I stopped in a service station to fill up and pick up a few things. It was in the urban area of the rural town. I walked in and it was quiet. Nobody else was there. Just after I walked in Musak began playing Queen's 'Fat Bottom Girls' and I stopped dead in my tracks for a second and thought "What a coincidence huh?"

"Hi" said a female's voice from a distance as I was looking for something to drink and getting ready to hit the head. "Great song isn't it. I just love it, don't you?"

Not seeing the nice girl who said it I spoke up and replied "Oh yeah it is an awesome song."

I went in and took a piss, washed my hands, and went back to get a drink; I went to pay and buy cigarettes too. "Patrice, what are you doing working here" I asked surprisingly.

"Hi Daniel ohh isn't this a wonderful day seeing a nice friendly face like yours here. And it is Patricia. I know, yes I know you thought I was Patrice but it's actually Patricia. I like Patrice, but I really go by Patricia."

Her hair was styled the same and her hazel eyes sparkled like gems and I could smell that same body spray she wore at the restaurant.

"Are you still at the Mexican place?" She told me yes but loved working here too. "That's a busy schedule you keep don't you think" I asked.

"Oh sure but I love it. What brings you down this way, business or pleasure. I bet it just so happens to be pleasure or you probably wish it was now right Daniel?"

The look of pleasure upon her face turned me on momentarily although I didn't let it show. Instinctively I said "business" and asked for my smokes and as she went to get them she bent over displaying a large round shapely and incredibly beautiful ass. She was wearing jeans but she looked great in them. It was the nicest view of the day.

Standing back up and turning around a smile was on her face. "It's been scenic today I bet hasn't it? Isn't it a beautiful looking day? I mean what you see when you just look at certain things?"

I thought "Does she know or does she read my mind or something?"

From out of the blue when I paid she said something that utterly threw me for a loop. Looking right at me and confident as hell Patricia or Patrice said the most outlandish thing in the world.

"Don't you wish you could go back home and get in the shower and masturbate and cum on your shower walls? I mean today's one of those days Danny boy that haunts me, so to speak, in a way saying, orgasm, orgasm Patricia. Oh an orgasm would feel so incredible at this very moment. I wish I could do it, don't you wish you could too?"

Any normal feelings went haywire. My body short circuited. I was floored. I couldn't respond normally. I don't know if my jaw dropped but I know one thing for sure and that is I had an instant boner inside my slacks and I thought "What the fuck should I do now?

"What are you talking about" I replied without thinking. Since I didn't know her well enough and I was out of town sort of, I still gave her the benefit of the doubt and added "Yeah any day is a good day for that." I forgot myself. I was talking to an almost complete stranger. Where did that come from I wondered.

"Ohh I'm sorry I though after you saw me the other day that you went home and tried masturbating in the shower but you couldn't so I assumed if I said what I just said that it would be added motivation to help you get off in the shower. Don't you wanna cum after trying to masturbate Daniel?"

I blushed and was embarrassed. Yeah I had some problem getting off that day but how in the fuck did she or could she even remotely know? I was at a loss for words. She probably could tell.

"It is okay. I understand Dan. I really understand and if I was able or capable of helping you out with it, ohhh Daniel I'd be in there with you in a heartbeat. I would there with you in a second. I simply get wet in a moments notice just thinking about your poor limp penis and not being able to get hard and ejaculate. I know how you feel and think and that pains me Danny, it really, really does."

"Are you crazy Patricia? There isn't a woman, including my own wife who would openly come out and share stuff like you just did."

I looked at her with confused surprise and added "there isn't a soul who would openly discuss masturbation with a guy regardless if there was anyone around or not. My wife and I, even though we umm get extremely intimate, don't even talk about that stuff. There isn't a woman in the world that does it."

"Oh yes there are Daniel, you simply haven't met any, until me, who will do that. I'm special Daniel and you haven't discovered that yet. I'm very special and you'll come to appreciate how special I am very soon in fact. Ohh I'm looking forward to this relationship. But I'm going to warn you of one thing. Don't expect more then what there is. That is all I'm telling you.

"Danny I want you to have the most extraordinary day. Will you think about me tonight or tomorrow when you step in your shower? Good luck Danny boy?"

I didn't walk out of the service station. She went about her business stocking things through out the store and looking back at me smiling with her angelic hazel eyes and succulent fat bottom and oversized luscious legs.

Was it time to go home and jack off or refocus and get back to finishing up my calls. I didn't say goodbye, I only waved and smiled at her, and she waved, smiled, and winked at me and that made my day. She made my day. Who the hell was this unusual woman? Where did she come from and how did she ever know my name to begin with. More then that how the hell would she know about my problems masturbating lately?

That night after making several bad presentations on cold calls, I went home and saw my wife. I gave her a big hello and an even bigger kiss on her lips. I told her how much I actually loved her, which was probably a bad idea because she may have interpreted that as an open opportunity to get it on with me. I went out to the garage and worked on the mower fine tuning it and the snow blower as well. I got all oily and needed to wash my hands. To top it off I went under my wife's car, justifying getting in the shower, and enabling me to do what I craved doing all day.

I walked in and dinner wouldn't be ready for about 15 minutes or so. I looked scummy and my wife insisted I get a shower. "Yippee" I thought as I felt my cock boiling over with expectant excitement. I told her I'll just wash my hands but she insisted that wouldn't be good enough. I knew it and almost verbally thanked her but instead went up to her and kissed her cheek.

"Have I told you I love you today? When the boys lay down why don't you and I snuggle on the couch and watch that one show?" She kissed me back and said maybe.

I hopped up the stairs, undressed, and got in the shower. Lathering up, I rubbed shampoo over my chest, teasing my soft nipples and lumpy chest imagining it was Patricia, aka Patrice in with me and doing me the honor. Her hands quickly poured more shampoo on me and swiftly cupped my balls and limp penis, caressing and coaxing me hopefully into that preferable hardened state.

No deal as I wasn't able to get hard whatsoever. I pictured her naked and I pictured my hands on her breasts, simulating my hands on my soft smaller lumps called a chest but as I said, no deal. I couldn't get hard for the life of me. I felt let down and big time too. "Like what the heck is up, I asked myself also thinking this isn't normal." A sexy plus size woman, as is my wife even, and I can't even fantasize in the absolutely perfect place that I usually like getting off at when I'm by myself! It seemed unreal but it was a reality, so I rinsed off, stepped out, grabbed a towel, and began to dry myself off.

I was only in a little over 5 minutes. According to my wonderful wife, dinner would be in five minutes. Standing in front of my mirror and looking at my unspent cock and lumpier medium sized frame, I wasn't proud and more to the point I was disappointed to say the least.

Then I saw something really odd. There was an envelope seated underneath the tissue box next to the sink. I pulled it out and opened it up. It wasn't addressed to anyone.

It was for me though and it was an anonymous note. What I read blew my mind.

"I did myself for you, so at least you could return the favor for me and graciously do yourself for me. Hugs and licks all over Danny."

I really wanted to believe it was from my wife but it was typed and she would never have done that. And for the woman, whoever it was and assuming it was a woman, to say that made me feel conscientious as hell but the mystery of it all motivated me to want to get back in my shower because I suspected however way she did it, Patricia somehow was watching over me. She masturbated, orgasmed, and somehow left me a note letting me know I was in her thoughts.

How that worked I didn't have a clue but I turned the shower back on, got back in, and jacked off hard but all of a sudden I heard my wife's footsteps so I had to cut it short and I didn't come close to getting an erection like I needed. I rinsed off and got out. Standing naked in front of her the lovely wonder looked down at my penis and looked up at me and smiled and thankfully too.

But she happened to see the note which was opened and facing up, from who I believed was Patricia. "What does this mean after quickly reading her note? Who is this from Dan? What does she mean by return the favor and graciously and all, and hugs and licks?"

"Umm I don't' have a clue to be honest. I honestly don't know. I was in the shower and I happened to recall seeing something under the Kleenex box after stepping in and I got out and opened it up. It is the god's honest truth. I don't know where it came from or who it's from. I actually thought you typed it but you never would have ever done it that way. So I don't know."

"Bullshit Daniel, some woman you know that you've met has the hots for you and is masturbating because of you and she wants you to know it, so she typed this note, and is trying to get you to jack off in the shower and fantasize about her. Aren't I right Daniel?"

"Umm no, you're not honey" as I dried off and headed out to the bedroom to put on clothes for the remainder of the night. "I don't know how that thing got there. I just happened to see it where I said it was and became curious."

"So when I got out of the shower...and that was actually a little white lie in itself...and opened it; when I read it I wondered why you would typed it but knew it wasn't you who typed it. I couldn't figure out how it got there, I really could not. I have no way of proving that I'm innocent in this; honey I don't."

Looking me straight in the eye, she searched for the truth and seemed to believe me. I looked innocent in all of it except that I was going to get in the shower and actually jack off in the shower. I was going to get back in at the bequest of Patricia's note; both attempts had been unsuccessful.

"Dinner is ready so finish getting dressed and come down" she said abruptly. "Don't dawdle and don't be doing anything worthless like playing with it in the mirror. That's what spouses are for aren't they?" She didn't smile and she kept walking down the steps.

I felt guilty somewhat and dinner strangely enough was quiet. I thought about Patricia and running into her or somehow getting to know her at the weirdest places. I wanted to know her better then I've gotten to know her so far.

Sitting with my wife that night we watched some program which was boring. I waited for her to take the lead romantically but there was no lead. She didn't make a move. I did but she presented a cold air front. It moved in quickly and I felt the frigid woman's attitude just inside her cold air front so I got up, grabbed a blanket, put it around myself, and offered the other half to her. Still I had no luck with the loving wife that evening.

"What's going on honey, why the cold shoulder tonight? Whatever it is I don't think it's fair. Want to talk about whatever it is?"

"No I do not!"

That pretty much put me in my place. I tried again, but no luck. Then I got up to go the bathroom. I said I'd be back in a few minutes as I had...issues. While in there I pulled out an older sports magazine. An envelope dropped out of it. "What the fuck" I thought. It was exactly like the one in the bathroom.

Typed inside the card it simply read "Pull her jeans off, then her panties, tell her you love her with all your heart, and do her with your 'muffin dance.' She'll love you forever. She'll have a great orgasm. Go on Danny boy, I know you; I know you can do this because you are one of the best at it."

Whoever it was, the person who typed the mysterious note was right. I was always able to eat out a woman and make that woman orgasm like there was no tomorrow. It was a gift. It really was. I'm not bragging either. Hopefully doing it would get me horny and hard. Hopefully that is.

After completing my business in the bathroom, I scrubbed up good, pulled out the reserve package of mints, and chewed one down. Then I drank a glass of water, and went on to complete my specialty. It was 9:45 and nobody stirred except us. I walked up to my wife, got down on my knees, and said honey this is for you, and you don't even have to say please.