~~Jack~~
As the two of them sat on his couch in his old apartment, he spared no detail. It wasn't exactly new information for Elaine; they'd have this conversation already. But it was obvious she wanted more info about the emotional side of the Ripper, about how he thought, how he felt, how the fucker took over Jack and basically became a new person. She wanted the information Jack had kept a little vague, to spare Antoinette. Of course, the Prince likely inferred a lot of it, but that didn't mean Jack was going to say it.
He described to his great grandsire, what it felt like to want to see someone die. Not delight in killing, because as horrible as that was, it didn't really get across how alien, weird, and absolutely fucking vile the curse was. To actually want to see the life go out in someone's eyes, because it scratched an itch that was basically existential for the curse, that's what Jack told her now. The Ripper would forever be furious, even if he piled a mountain of corpses, and fucked one in front of his next target, instilling disgust and fear in enemies and prey alike. A strange mix of unadulterated rage and carnal delight, aggression and hunger swirled into something only a genuine psychopath could empathize with.
He described what it was like before the curse was released, when those emotions and desires mixed with his own, and Elaine nodded as she closed her eyes, reminiscing. How much of her savage past she could remember, he didn't know, but based on the subtle smile, she could remember enough, and she sorta missed it. Missing it was not the reaction he expected to see, but if she expressed it now, it was because she felt comfortable letting him know she did.
Good thing Veronica didn't get to hear any of this. She'd run from Jack, screaming.
"Truly an abhorrent creation, this Ripper curse," Elaine said, opening her eyes.
"You uh, don't really seem like you think it's abhorrent."
She shrugged and leaned in closer. "When you have seen murder and carnage on the scale that I have, you become... jaded."
"And, what? You miss not being jaded? You miss the thrill of killing people? Cause I've never been thrilled. The curse has, I haven't. Killing people just... hurts, and makes me sick."
"I do not believe you."
"What? I--"
She came in so close, she could have kissed him. "At the height of blood lust and violence, in battle, where emotions run rampant, even kine can give into an urge so primal and instinctual, that killing becomes satisfying. And you, my childe, have a Beast, a part of you that both understands that, and craves it, as all vampires do. Try as you might to deny it, the Beast is not some dog on a leash you can order. It is a part of you, and it delights in the kill."
She had him there. Much as it sucked to admit it, the vampire part of him enjoyed killing; at least, when it came to securing power, safety, or resources. Hell, even the human part of him found an inkling of satisfaction from it, hidden underneath all the nausea and terror. But it wasn't the same as what the curse wanted.
"What are you driving at?"
"I simply wanted to... see, a part of you I know you keep from my friend. You are far too self sacrificing an individual to let Ann know how truly depraved the emotions of the curse are, and how his desires affected your own, before your separation."
What a load of crap. She wasn't lying, but it was a half truth; fucking worse than any lie. And she knew he knew that, from the twinkle in her eye.
"Come on Elaine, enough with the games. I suck at them. Just tell me what you want."
She sighed, her fun ruined. "I seek to understand the curse, Jack."
"Understand?"
"The Strix placed it upon my sire, so many centuries ago. She sired me. I sired Viktor, and so on. The curse infected us and spread through us. The curse colored our perceptions and emotions for ages. I left Viktor to his fate, and disappeared into the world to find the ritual to save me from its influence." She glanced down, weight pulling her eyes to the floor, before she corrected the error and smiled at him again. "And before then, as I once told you, I ran with wolves through forests, and I gave into the curse's lust for violence and death."
"But you regained control of yourself, right? I mean, you came back to civilization, sired Viktor while you still had the curse, and--"
She held up a hand. "Its dark urges danced within me without relent, but by then I had learned to coexist with them. I pretended to be a creature of the night, but one with a secret; seducing a rich man was easy. Viktor took me to his balls and gatherings, and dressed me in clothes to make me presentable. And when people were gone, I would fuck him, and Kiss him, and feed him my blood. Eventually, I sired him, in the darkness and the empty streets of night. I fled soon after, leaving Viktor to his fate, as I only then finally realized the curse had to be removed." Sighing, she turned back to face the wall with the television, and the nearby door where Veronica was out like a light. "I remember no details, as confounding and frustrating as that is. I can vaguely remember running through the dark, naked in the woods. I can remember blood, and pain. I can remember hunger and desire, wanton violence, urges that overwhelmed me, boiling up from the curse."
"And you want that back?"
"I want to understand, and appreciate it, in a way that..." Elaine sighed, and slumped. Seeing a five-hundred-year-old vampire slump, posture ruined and back curving into the couch, was a really strange sight, and Jack raised a brow. "I suppose I am seeking punishment, for passing this curse on, and then leaving Viktor to deal with it. I did not know that would happen, and yet, I feel guilt for it."
He half frowned, half smiled. The whole situation was confusing, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out what she wanted. And it seemed like, neither could she, cause there was more to it than a guilt complex.
"I can remember in vivid detail what it was like before I freed the curse, Elaine. I couldn't even say Angela's name without frothing at the mouth with overwhelming, ridiculous, juvenile rage. But I also felt power with it, power and bloodlust and even bits of strange bliss." He scratched his hair, and slouched back into the couch too, almost touching shoulders with her; woman was too tall. "So, there were tiny bits of pleasure, from feeling that kind of power, very dark side. But mostly it was just pain and self loathing, when the rush was over. I felt... inhuman."
"But you are not human. You are a vampire."
He frowned at her and shook his head. "Is that what this is actually about? You're... missing that part?" It was a pretty old story, and an integral one to Kindred, far as Jack knew. Vampires had to fight against their Beastly nature, every night of their second lives, or they'd rot away and become nothing more than a draugr, a mindless husk only capable of hunting and killing.
