~~Jack~~
Not much longer until sunrise. God, he was starving. Strong as the curse was, it wasn't invincible, and it'd used a lot of his available vitae to fight that creature.
Fought, and won. Don't forget that.
Jack silenced his thoughts as best he could, and waited, but the curse said nothing. Just as Jack had noticed throughout the battle with the azlu, and SΓ‘ndor's Horror before that, and the attack on the hospital before that, the curse had trouble maintaining control after expending a lot of vitae. It, or he, was connected to the Beast in a way not dissimilar to Jack.
That meant, while Jack starved, became weak, and felt his Beast instincts kick into overdrive, the curse itself went quiet, growing weak as well. A flaw in the curse? A weakness. Despite how the Beast grew louder and louder inside Jack's head and chest as his blood lust increased, the curse said nothing. If the curse was simply the Beast given voice, it'd have an easier time taking over him when he was hungry, not a harder time.
The Strix curse wasn't the Beast then, but something that infected it, imbued it with power, indirectly imbued Jack with power, and... what, created another personality in his head? Without a power source, of the 'essence of life' as it put it, the curse was weak. Jack became weak too. The Beast did not.
Feed. Feed. Feed. Find something with a heartbeat and drain it. Get blood. Get the essence of life. Devour. Fill. Blood. Blood. His Beast sounded like that, and now his Beast was insanely powerful, but that wasn't the voice of the curse. Or maybe, instead of thinking of the curse as the power given to his Beast and the voice of the curse, he needed to start thinking of them as separate things? His Beast was now absurdly powerful, so was he, and so was... this other entity, now inside him?
He chuckled, and let his head sag. It'd been a long time since he'd been starving like this, truly hungry, to the point he could feel a frenzy under his skin, ready to break free and take over. But the Prince had him locked up tight. An elder Daeva or Nosferatu might be able to break the chains with pure strength. A Gangrel could probably transform into something that let them slip free. A Mekhet would probably be screwed, and so was he. But that was good. If he frenzied, no one would get hurt, and someone would feed him some blood come the morning.
The last time he was this hungry, it'd been his first night as a vampire. He'd frenzied, appetite surprising even his sire, and he'd killed someone. Mrs. Pavala.
Mrs. Pavala. God, he was happy he didn't run into her ghost. The guilt would have ripped him in half.
It made him wonder, though. What were the requirements for becoming a ghost? It must have had something to do with the emotional and mental state of the person. Sabrina was so devoted to her sire, that dying in a skirmish with Carthians left her utterly unable to accept the reality. Mary apparently unlocked the memories Jack had suppressed inside her; suppressed, not wiped, evidently. And that had driven her into such a rage that she didn't move on either.
Clara had said to ask the hunters. Good idea.
Jack.
A tiny whisper pushed through Jack's thoughts.
Still with me?
I'm here. You'll never be rid of me.
Yeah, we'll see about that.
Why do you hate me so much?
Why? Why? Are you fucking serious? You snuck into my thoughts for months, years! You planted your claws in my brain and my personality, my instincts and desires, and twisted them. It wasn't until I freed you that I could even think clearly anymore.
I gave you strength.
You gave me a guilt complex. Christ, I've been through fucking hell, and it could have been so much better, and smoother, if you hadn't--
Hadn't what? Gave you the strength to Dominate the hunters when they first kidnapped you? Or gave you the strength to Dominate Damien's mind, and save your lover? So many times, you tapped into my strength, and so many times, I pushed it on you so you could save yourself. You dragged yourself out of that fire you created to kill your grandsire, cut in half face to crotch, and you lived because of me. You got revenge because of me! Angela is dead because of me! You have a mansion. You have power and money. You have the Prince--
Nothing. Nothing about what you have done, is why Antoinette and I are an item. If anything, it's in spite of your presence that I found such an amazing woman, a woman who likes who and what I am, and vice versa.
And if it wasn't for me, she'd be in her basement, crying her silly, ancient tears, over her dead lover.
You were just saving yourself.
Exactly. Saving me. Saving you.
Don't talk about us like we're the same person.
I am you!
No! You can't have me!
Ha ha ha.
Jack sighed and let his head droop. The lights were still on in the room, since it didn't matter to a Kindred how many lights were on, when dawn came. He looked up at his wrists, and how the wounds on his hands were healed. The memory of barbed wire cutting through his palms was vivid, and he gazed at them.
God, he was starving.
Jack. Don't trust her.
Who?
Elaine.
Fuck you. She's Antoinette's friend. She trusts her, and I trust the Prince's judgment more than my own.
Elders are blind to the past, Jack. Think. Would Elaine really help her, just to help her, and you? What Kindred is so thoughtful of others?
Julias was. You know, my sire? Her grandchilde?
Don't be a fool. The Strix curse was created with a sacrifice.
Yeah, and? That was centuries ago. What does--
Think about it. Just... think.
The curse went silent, and Jack sighed relief. The curse needed blood to run, and now that Jack was starving, it couldn't keep it up. If the Beast inside Kindred grew louder and louder the hungrier the vampire became, why did the curse grow quieter? The more details he could put together, the more he had to work with with Elaine.
The curse, it, he, was Jack, in a way. He hadn't been lying. Somehow the curse had latched onto him and created an entirely new personality, something that existed parallel inside Jack, and shared his body with the Beast. It wasn't Jack fighting against his Beast. It was Jack and the curse, fighting for control of his mind, while the curse had also inflated his Beast's power to the extreme.
It was such a disgusting problem. If he could get rid of the curse, he'd be free of his influence, but so much weaker. Given the chance, he'd happily become weak, if it meant having this thing in his head gone. The curse was sick, and horrible.
And he had a point. Not about helping Jack out a lot, fuck that. Power wasn't worth having this abomination fighting for his god damn body. He had a point about Elaine.
Jack laughed, and smiled at the floor as he pieced together some memories. Not once had Antoinette left him alone with Elaine. Either she was around, or the sheriff was around. They didn't trust her either, not completely.