I was the last to enter the briefing room and stumbled upon Lamed's gaze. She is our coordinator, usually this woman is so optimistic and ever-ironic, but this time she was dead serious. I could read tension in her eyes. Yod had such an uneasy face expression. Samekh just looked grim like a cloud bearing thunderstorm, though that was nothing new - she just has a bitch face. Agent Vav concentrated at some invisible point at the opposite wall and thought.
"Take a seat, Dalet. We haven't got much time" - said Lamed strictly.
Yeah, you got it right. Our callsigns are Hebrew letters. Latin and Greek ones are so much a cliche overused by Hollywood. Cyrillic option was promptly refused, when none of us agreed to be called agent Scsh. Hebrew is just great. Also you can joke about Zionist Occupation Government, masons and Illuminati, so when someone would start talking about top-secret jews right under the government's nose, he'll go straight into the asylum or at least told to wear a tinfoil cap.
"After Kaf got compromised at Taiwan, we suspected, that there is a rat within our ranks. We started to shadow and collect information about everyone, who had access to the files, and methodically narrowed the circle. This way we found, that Wittenberg requested sensitive documents about our ops abroad during the last five years to date. And tomorrow, at 1 pm, he's going to make a presentation for the Congress. That son of a bitch is paranoid as hell, yet he made a mistake. We collected enough information and are absolutely sure - he's about to present them all of our little dirty secrets. You all know too well, that under certain circumstances our operatives have to resort to extreme measures. When lives are at stake, fuck rules and bureaucracy." - said Lamed.
"And you always covered our asses." - added Yod. Lamed just nodded - "Now Agency needs you to cover itself."
"But if we kill him now ..." - said Vav.
"We'll screw things completely." - Lamed finished it for him. - "His death means we just put a signature under his ravings."
"So what? Can we apply some pressure at him? I'm sure we have enough compromising shit on Wittenberg." - proposed Samekh.
"We have compromising materials indeed, but the CIA has it too, and that is a problem. They are practically holding Konrad's balls." - answered Lamed - "The only option we have is to make a swap. We had some luck for a change: Wittenberg backed himself up recently. Of course, he didn't announce it, but our tech guys were after him by that time, so we obtained a key easily. Now we have a clone of Konrad, our psychos take care of him" (comments by Dalet: Psychos, are the department of psychological methods. Terrifyingly capable guys, I must admit.)
Samekh said: "This is a gamechanger! But how do we swap them? It is still a very complex operation and we only have a few hours at best to pull it off. Do we even know where Konrad is now?"
"At the Alistair. He and his guards are occupying the western wing of the seventh floor. Guys are from the 35th guardian regiment." - informed Lamed
"All of them are pneumatics, aren't they?" - Yod asked.
"Sure. We did make them, you know." - Lamed confirmed grimly.
Civilians often think, that pneumatic people, or for short - pneumatics, are some kind of harmless balloon-folk. Retrogrades are still hiring bodyguards of flesh and bones. But that doesn't make any sense! Protein bodies often want to sleep, smoke, eat and then go to the bathroom. But what is even worse, they want to live so much! An Inflatable soldier knows, that if he dies while defending his objective, his yesterday's copy will be incarnated and promoted. Not exactly like Valhalla, but also motivating. On the other hand, he also knows that if he survives at the cost of failing his mission, his game is officially over and he can expect no mercy. Of course, pneumatics suck at martial arts and are useless in hand-to-hand combat without a gun or at least a knife, but that's nothing significant. By the way, there is one more important detail. You can kill a protein dude with a silenced shot, for example. It is much harder to get rid of an inflatable guy without causing much noise. He either bursts deafeningly, or will slowly deflate with enough time to raise an alarm and warn others.
"So, forcing our way in is not an option. We have to take him out without much fuss, but the Alistair is a freaking fortress. Bulletproof glass, steel doors, surveillance and grates in the vents." - stated Samekh.
"Just don't panic. So we enter deflated, we exit the same way. We just need an inside guy in their staff." - proposed Vav.
"I wish we had a week, we could hook a maid, janitor or a plumber. But we don't have this time." - cut off Lamed. - "Go on, brainstorm, I need crazy ideas. All the normal ones are already considered and rejected."
We exchanged worried looks.
"What if we kidnap him on his way to the Congress? Let's swap his car. Just put the clone in the new one." - I proposed.
"We don't know which car he'll be in. It is highly likely, that tomorrow, Senator Kingsley is going there to pick him up personally, or it will be some CIA guy. And of course they will be still guarded on their way." - said Lamed
"Then let's make a false fire alarm. Lure him out." - proposed Vav.
"Wittenberg is a scumbag, but he's smart enough. He knows, that we know, that he knows and that's exactly why he locked himself in that safe. However, if you know any good reason that would make him come out - please tell." - said Lamed.
"What kind of material do they have on Konrad? Can we take him off the hook?" - Yod tried another direction.
Lamed frowned: "Konrad used to be into kids. And got caught."
"How then we take of the hook our clone? They are going to expose their materials if he backs down." - asked I.
"That's a less urgent problem. We shall rehabilitate him somehow, after all that was before he transitioned himself to pneumatic, now he's different and not dangerous. Of course, it is still a shame, but he isn't going to jail. As for public humiliation and tainted reputation - he deserves them completely."
"So. What weak spots does he have?" - I asked.
"He's a chauvinist pig and womanizer."
"Does he call girl often?"
"Used to, but not now. If he calls any, we'd know instantly. Wittenberg is hiding and leading a righteous life for two weeks." - said Lamed.
"Okay, he didn't call any girls, but his guards may not know that. They should be used to these fairies going back and forth to his room." - I exclaimed - "Not that I wish to play a prostitute."
Yod snorted dismissively, yet Lamed was interested - "That's better than nothing."
"By the way, you said he's a chauvinist. What exactly does it means in case of Wittenberg?" - asked Vav.
"He's a homophobe, misogynist and racist. Jerks starter package in other words." - said Lamed.
"That's good!" - Samekh lightened up - "Well, of course, it is bad, but it is good for us. I have a really crazy idea now. So his guards are hetero males only, am I right? Because he can cherry pick them according to their dossiers." - she went on.
"Probably so, but we must check it." - Lamed was intrigued - "Do you intend to seduce his toy soldiers to get inside? They won't let you in without direct order."
"No, I don't plan to ask them politely. They are mere infantry, lowest element of food chain, they haven't been with a woman for all their sorry life. So they are extremely hungry..." - Samekh explained.
"How does it help our cause?" - Lamed shrugged skeptically - "Do you want to be gang raped by them?"
