Part 1
Samuel Foster didn't like being taken by surprise. He'd always considered himself a cautious man, always trying to anticipate whatever new disaster might be waiting around the corner. It had served him well on his climb toward regional management. But even now, being thrown completely for a loop never failed to leave a bitter taste in his mouth. Especially the kind that involved a surprise package left on his desk over lunch. And even worse when its presence was foreshadowed by knowing snickers and sideways glances all the way back to his office. The fact that this particular surprise could only have come from his wife didn't make things any better.
It was the size of a large novel, boxed in the usual drab cardboard favored by delivery companies everywhere for its cheap inconspicuousness. This made the hot pink and gold address label all the more obnoxious, proudly declaring itself to the world as a "Premium Deluxe Special," sent from the Miracle Flesh Co. The silhouette of a nude woman reclined beneath the letters, an engorged cock pressed to her lips. Probably in case the rest of it was too subtle.
"Hey, Sam! Looks like someone's in for a good time tonight!" someone outside his office crowed.
"So unprofessional," he growled as he slammed the door and locked it. Had everyone been in his office while he was gone, or had that intern from the mail room been showing it off to everyone as he made his rounds? He turned the package over in his hands and found an envelope taped to the back, signed "To my loving husband," in garish gold gel ink that made his eyes water against the crisp white cardstock.
Remember how you said you wanted to be more adventurous in the sack? Well, I went and found the wildest thing I could think of. Hope you'll be thinking of me until you get home. I know I will. ;-) Your ever faithful (and willing) wife (read: cum dumpster) Ash
He set the note face down on the desk and buried his face in his hands. Relieved that no one from corporate was scheduled to come in today. And grinning like an idiot. Until he opened the box.
***
"So? How was work today? Anything interesting happen?"
Sam looked his wife over suspiciously as he shut the garage door behind him. As usual, Ashley had beaten him home from work and stripped down to a comfortable pair of jogging shorts and a loose t-shirt. Her expression was innocent enough, a playful fox's smile parting her cupid's bow lips as she reached up on her toes to kiss him. He hugged her and kissed the top of her head, breathing in the scent of strawberry and lavender. She had pulled her blonde hair into a ponytail, freshly washed, blow-dried and so deliciously warm against his cheek. The way she smelled after a shower always left him ready to throw her onto the bed and tear her clothes off. Instead, he tore himself away, holding her out at arm's length.
"Something wrong?" she asked. Her eyes were a brilliant blue and wide with expectation. "Did something unexpected happen?"
He arched a dark eyebrow at her, which only made that knowing grin more feral.
"Actually, I did."
"And? What did you think?"
"No idea," he answered brightly, taking the package from his briefcase and tossing it to her. "I didn't open it."
"Boo." Ash caught it without looking, driving the full force of her pout into him. "You're no fun."
"You really need to stop sending weird things to my office," Sam said, all humor gone from his demeanor. "I could get in a lot of trouble if the wrong people saw stuff like this. Where'd you find this thing anyway?"
"One of my girlfriends recommended it. She has a cousin who has gotten into making stuff like this. Now she's started a business and they've been showing stuff off to our friend groups trying to drum up customers."
"Which friend?" he asked, incredulous. "Not that weird chick who thinks she can do magic?"
"Moira's not that bad. She and her family are just a little, you know, quirky."
"That's just a nice way of saying weird."
"Besides," she steamrolled by as if she hadn't heard, "Everyone says their stuff is great! My sister, she finally talked me into it. She and her husband have been using Miracle Flesh stuff for a year now. Whole new experience! Says she's never cum so much before and George can't keep his hands off her. It's amazing! Are you feeling okay, hon?"
"Yeah. Just tired from work," Sam lied as he rubbed his temples.
"Well, you know what will help with that?" Ash slowly lifted the package in front of her face, tilting it back and forth so it appeared to be doing a little dance. "Come on! Admit it, you're curious."
"About a 'Nu Yu Custom Skin Suit?'" he said, trying and failing not to laugh. "Sounds like the sort of thing Hannibal Lecter would come up with."
"Buffalo Bill," she corrected. "Hannibal was only a cannibal."
"Whatever," he said, playfully rolling his eyes. "Besides, your friend's cousin can't even spell. How am I supposed to trust a sex toy that isn't even grammatically correct?"
"Come on," Ash whined, putting her hands together and unleashing the puppy dog eyes. "I promised I'd leave a review online. And may I remind you that it was your idea to try new stuff? Then kept turning down all of my ideas: fucking in a public place, edgeplay, incest play, the BDSM club..."
"Okay, okay, you've made your point." He sighed, putting a hand around her shoulder and holding her tight. "I'm just, you know, trying to ease into things. We have a good thing going. I don't want to ruin it by moving too fast."
"You mean get scared off because your wife's a freak?" she asked, grinning like a maniac.
"Something like that."
"Okay. I'll tell you what. Indulge me on this and you get to pick our next weird sex outing. Sound fair?"
"Hmm," Sam agreed lasciviously.
Ash rolled her eyes. "Let me guess. Threesome?"
Sam answered with an indifferent shrug.
"Fine," she laughed, slapping him playfully on the arm before offering her own. "But I get to pick."
"Agreed," he said. And in the same breath added, "so long as it's a woman," before grabbing her hand and shaking vigorously.
Ash stuck her tongue out. "Basic."
"I just know what I like," he said shamelessly. "So where are we trying out this freakish thing? In here, the bedroom, or what?"
"Well, seeing as how you're such a basic bitch, we should probably do it in the bedroom. Wouldn't want to shock you by doing anything too out of the ordinary."
"Very funny, Ashley."
"Should I keep my nightgown and stockings on whilst we do the deed?" she said, attempting a posh British accent. "I know how bare breasts and ankles distress you so, love."
"I'm leaving now."
He heard her call after him and ran faster, down the hall and up the stairs to their bedroom. Moments later she burst through the door, only to pull up short when she found her husband nowhere in sight. Sam leaped out from behind the door, making her shriek as he tickled her ribs mercilessly. She rounded on him, pushing and slapping until he pulled her in for a kiss. Her resistance melted away like ice cream in summer, wrapping her soft hands around his broad shoulders and kneading at his muscles with enough force to make him fear for his shirt. He retaliated by grabbing handfuls of her ass and spanking her till she moaned into his mouth.
He had almost pushed her onto the bed when she gave a start and broke the kiss off.
"Oh, right!" She skipped away from his grasping hands to retrieve the package from where she'd dropped it. "Come on, don't you want to check it out first?"
"I want to fuck you until you can't stand, then chuck the damn thing out a window while you're out of it," he said obstinately.
The joke had no effect. She just crossed her arms under her chest and glared. He sighed in defeat and took a penknife from the nightstand.
"Okay, okay. Let's take a look."
He felt his enthusiasm drain with each incision. As he cut the shipping box apart, more neon pink and gold packaging assaulted Sam's eyes. A pretty woman's image was printed on each side, looking playfully over her shoulder at him. Bleach blonde, a summer tan, and, apparently, nude from the waist up. A thin zipper ran most of the way up her spine, exposing several inches of skin that was considerably darker than the outside. The picture and product name seemed bent on a hostile takeover of the box's surface area. What little free space remained was a bunch of male and female symbols interlocked together in various combinations and colors that clashed horribly with the rest.
"You might have Moira pass it on that her cousin could use some graphic design courses," he said, holding it at arm's length as if it were a bomb. "The Photoshopping with the skin isn't bad, though."
"Will do, Mr. Art Critic. Just open the fucking thing already."
"Rude," he said, but did as he was told.
As he had expected, the thing inside looked like a prop from a horror film. Probably some trashy B-movie where the monster sucks out all its victim's innards and leaves their skin behind.
"Well?" she asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "What do you think?"
He turned the suit over and over in his hands, helplessly shaking his head.
"I honestly can't decide how I feel. On the one hand, the craftsmanship's amazing. Aside from this slit where you get in at, I can't find any seams at all." He tried stretching it. "Sturdy. The wig's good quality, maybe even real hair. Hell, if I didn't know any better I'd say the skin was real. See?"
Ash took it and jerked back. "Wow, you're right. It's kinda warm, too. Freaky."
"Which leads to the other hand: It looks gross, and I almost want to turn it into the police. It's like a crime scene in a box."
