A Master Without A Sword:
I
As I lay face down on my bed and cried, I heard my mother walk up the stairs and enter the room.
'Hey, what's the matter?' she asked as she walked over and sat next to me on the bed, then reached out and stroked my hair.
'I'm fucking
useless
!' I cried into the pillow in reply.
'No you're not,' she said, 'you just need some small improvements. Ramus told the village council that there were a couple of things you needed to work on, and I guess you've been having some problem with that, yes?'
'Ramus?' I realised I'd never heard Teacher Paynor's first name before, 'I think it's a little more than a
couple
of things, though -- I'm supposed to be a
swordswoman
, but I couldn't hurt a
fly
!'
I hit the pillow with a fist, but continued sobbing, as the words I'd spoken to myself continued to rattle around in my head, before my mother put her arm round my neck and lifted me up, hugging me into her chest. Here I am, supposed to be a grown woman, crying into my mothers' breast like a small child!
'Oh darling,' she said as she continued to stroke my hair, 'you never
used
to have any problems being aggressive. I remember when Nepin and Tegor used to complain about you beating them too much, when you were first learning to use those little wooden swords for kids. You remember that?'
I nodded, remembering it quite well: we all thought we'd have a few little competitions to see who the best little swordsman was - (
we
being Nepin, (the baker's second son), Tegor, (the Wheaton's son -- (they own the grain/cotton-farm to the south-west of the village)), Waymin, Jaik, (Sharil Gylson's son, (they own the vegetable and fruit farm to the north, in between the river and the road, after the washing and bathing area)), Stewain Landson, (the leader's son), myself, and of course Alnia, who always stood by in case someone got hurt with her healing salve, (though she mostly just followed me around whenever she could)).
As it happened, I'd nearly
always
win these little fights and 'competitions'. In fact, it didn't take long for the boys to stop asking me to join them, simply because they knew they'd lose! Of course, that didn't stop them from teasing me all the time about it, though they were never nasty or spiteful, (mainly because they knew I'd beat them up if they were!). Yes, I know, I was a right little tomboy when growing up! Thankfully I had Alnia along side me to help balance things out somewhat… (Or so I thought…).
The main thing they always teased me about was my appearance, (of course), with their favourite being '(little-miss) flying-pig-face', (because of my nose and ears), along with comments like 'if you run any faster you'll take off'. I never really paid them much attention, though, and, if anything, I actually found them rather amusing as I grew older. I definitely got my revenge against them in practice anyway, so I can't complain
too
much.
Either way, my mother was definitely right about me being more aggressive when I was younger.
'Yes,' I replied.
'So what happened to you then? Where did it all go? We all thought you'd grow up to be a good swordsman, but now look at you. What happened?'
'I don't know,' I replied.
Neither of us spoke for a while after, just being content to hold each other closely, and eventually I stopped crying, just being happy to be warm and loved, forgetting about my troubles, if only for a moment.
'Anyway,' she spoke eventually, 'I think it's about time you got something to eat, yes? I had some food cooked for you, but it's probably all cold now. It's up to you if you want me to cook some more, or if you'd prefer to go to the inn. In fact, that's probably the better idea. I'm sure they'd love to see you, and if you'd like, you could always stay for the orgy later on.'
I quickly drew back after she said that, and sat up and looked her as she smiled at me, puzzled.
'I thought I had to be on duty tonight?' I asked, then realised that it was probably not really worth it, since I was so useless at that point.
Mum rolled her eyes, 'you forgot we're going to Millton tomorrow haven't you?'
'Oh,' I replied. Of course I'd forgotten!
'So you can stay at the inn tonight if you want and sleep on the way there tomorrow morning. It's up to you, just like I said. I doubt Jemila or Marna would let you go anyway!'
'What about Alnia? I should really go talk to her at some point. Not that I've got a clue what to say…'
'Don't worry about
her
, I'll have a word with both of them, ok?'
'Ok. Thanks.'
'Aww, come here…'
We had another quick hug, followed by a kiss this time, before we finally both got off the bed and stood up. There was a brief knock at the door. My mother looked at me, to see if I wanted to answer it, but I shook my head. (No way -- it might be Alnia, and I didn't really want to talk to
her
yet!).
So I stood there waiting while Mum went back downstairs and answered the door. As soon as she did, I realised it was Teacher Paynor -- (I don't think I'll ever be able to call him Ramus) - but I still stood there, waiting, wondering what exactly they were talking to each other about, as they took a while. I
could
have walked closer to listen, but I really couldn't be bothered -- I knew that if it was
that
important Mum would probably tell me anyway…
Eventually they finished talking, and I heard Mum close the front door, before walking back upstairs. As soon as she reached the top of the stairs, I realised she was carrying my sword, after I'd left it with Teacher when I ran home earlier.
'Here,' she said, handing it to me.