"What the fuck, Vik?! Like seriously WHAT THE FUCK?!" I screamed at her with my cheeks wet with tears and my face angry, screwed up with raw feeling. I knew her parents would probably be able to hear me across the house with how loud I was yelling, but I did...not...care.
"How could you bring me here and just ambush me with this crazy fucked up shit?! Did you think I would just say ok and put on a...a...." my hands gesticulating wildly now, my brain unable to keep up with my emotion, "...A FUCKING GIMP SUIT and be your bitch?! Is that your idea of love, Vik? Do you think I have no respect for myself? Do you have no respect for ME?!"
I started pacing back and forth in front of her. She keep her eyes on me and swallowed visibly, but kept silent for the moment, allowing me to get it all out. With no retort from her yet to stoke my fire, my rage burned out to sadness.
"How could you?! How could you do this? Would you really throw away our life together? For what? For some...sex fetish?!" I spit the words out at her with disdain.
"Don't you understand what we have? How rare it is?"
Suddenly I felt a glimmer of agency, a bit of hope that all was not lost. "I'm not going to let you destroy our relationship. We're going to get through this." My voice lacked conviction, but it felt good to say the words anyway.
I stood before her breathing hard, letting the silence lengthen. Though her body was still, her intelligent eyes were active, studying me. Her image evoked that of a military general, a genius tactician, receiving multiple streams of information in real time, weighing possibilities, and formulating plans. Fuck if that didn't turn me on. It struck me again in that moment how I'd never met anyone like her.
At last she spoke. "Lee, my darling..." Her voice was uncharacteristically uneven, charged with emotion. It reminded me of the crackles and pops of a bonfire.
"I'm sorry for this part. I knew it would be shocking and painful for you, but I could not see a way to spare you this. I knew if I told you everything when we were back in the States that you would never make this trip. The only way to let you know was to 'rip off the bandage' so to speak, to bring you here and show you that it's not what you fear. It's different from what you're used to, yes, but it's not depraved, it's not cruel. Algorian culture is something very beautiful."
"Vik, it might not seem that different to you, but I want you to know, if you think I'm going to do any of that shit, then..."
"Shh shh shh, don't worry about anything tonight. Don't make any decisions. You can't make any decision until you properly understand what it is you're deciding. Just let the information wash over you for now."
"But..."
"It's ok, Lee. We have lots of time before you need to make any decision, time to talk and time for me to show you how things work here. You're doing so well, darling, given everything that I've shown you tonight. I was worried I was going to have to tackle you to keep you from running away screaming when we showed you the video." A hint of a smile graced Viktoria's features for the first time that night.
"So you would have tackled me?!" I asked incredulous, my heart rate spiking up again as the image of physical violence reactivated all my worst fears about the place.
Viktoria didn't even blink. "Of course. It's like you said. What we have is very rare. I'm not going to let you throw it away. I'm going to fight for it like you can't even imagine." Her eyes burned with a conviction that seemed to soothe us both. Familiar territory. We were still in love after all.
I calmed myself and tried what I considered to be a more constructive approach. "Listen, Vik, I love you. I can't imagine my life without you. Just because you were born here, doesn't mean you have to live this way. We can leave here and never come back. We could--" She silenced me with a raised open palm.
"Let me stop you there and clarify so we don't waste any time on this point. My views on Algorian culture, on dominance and submission specifically, were not naively adopted and accepted without question. You know me. You know that I'm not some gullible, easily brainwashed person who's never considered her life. This is what I want. Even if this isn't what I wanted, it's who I am. I could never betray myself by settling for less."
She paused here and I started to interject, but she raised her hand again and continued in a voice so heavy with emotion that she seemed to be struggling to get it out, but also so soft that it was almost a whisper. "So while you should know that we have plenty of time over the next two weeks for you to learn about my culture, about the life that I have planned for us together, you should also know that you will either leave this island wearing my collar or you will leave without me."
There it was. An ultimatum. It was obvious that there was zero room for negotiation.
I felt like I'd been physically struck across the face. I shot her a glance filled with shocked betrayal, as my legs felt weak and I let myself fall back to sit on the edge of her bed. The sinking pit in my stomach felt worse than ever. "Urrghh...GOD!" I moaned, clutching my stomach with one hand to deal with the cramping pain sprouting there.
She moved then. Out of the chair, onto her knees in front of me, concern written across her features. She reached out and squeezed my hand.
"It's not so bad as you fear. I'm going to make you happier than you've ever been, my love, I swear it. I only say these things because we have a fixed amount of time to agree on a plan for the rest of our lives together, and any time we spend on scenarios where you're uncollared aren't realistic."
This did nothing to make me feel better and I let out another guttural groan and turned away from her.