Copyright Oggbashan March 2014
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
This story is not eligible to win the 2014 Earth Day Story Contest because I am a recent winner of a themed contest. Votes and comments would still be appreciated.
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Lads and Lassies, listen now to me
While I relate the tale so dire:
Maidensdoom Wyrm roaming free
Condemning some to eternal ire.
From earth the Wyrm doth come
Giving lust to any Adam's son
To earth again when Wyrm's done
Who has power when Wyrm is gone?
Tup not a lass, nor woman grown
Nor e'en an ancient ugly crone
Upon the Maidensdoom stone
Far better leave the stone alone.
In the day the Wyrm doth rest.
Dead of night to take the test
For Wyrm to raise its crest,
Midnight hour much the best.
For woman sacrifice on that rock
Releases Wyrm from bar and lock,
Powers unearthed round her flock;
Powers that heaven itself doth mock.
Rash indeed must be that man
To gain Wyrm's powers doth plan;
Better the Bible's truth to scan
Than risk the Church's dread ban.
But men there be who live for lust
Wyrm's powers risk they must
But not you, I hope and trust:
Seeking ends but in graveyard dust.
Be she winsome, be she fair,
Be she blonde, or red of hair,
Be she eighteen or much mair,
Mother, crone -- Rash man,beware!
Tup her but once upon that stone,
Releases Wyrm to be yours alone
Body will bring from you a moan --
Far better leave; your sins atone.
I had printed this as a modernised transcription on the printer attached to the older desktop I had put in my uncle's study. The equipment would do until I could upgrade from the dial-up connection that was the best the village could have.
I had found this fragment, presumably of a much longer poem, in the family papers when I inherited the family estate. The parchment was torn as if was only the left hand half of a larger piece.
My inheritance was unexpected. My elderly uncle's whole family, his son, his daughter-in-law, and their two teenage boys had been killed in a car accident in thick fog.
My uncle Simon died soon afterwards, but had instructed the family solicitors to change his will, leaving the estate to me as the next in line to the title of Socman of Maidensdoom. I hadn't known because I was on a business trip in Sydney. While others could contact me, my uncle and the solicitors had no contact details except my London address. I found several letters from the solicitors when I returned from Australia.
Don't think I suddenly became rich. The estate, much reduced by death duties by heirs dying on the Western Front in the First World War, was little more than the old house in poor repair, a farm leased out that had provided uncle Simon's sole income, and the small hill behind the house. On that hill was the Maidensdoom stone of the owner's title.
The Maidensdoom stone looks like a rough cut altar, standing about two feet off the ground. It is rectangular but has two projections at each end. The legends suggest that the projections were used to secure ropes holding the female sacrifice immobile while she was 'tupped'. The modern word is fucked. There is no suggestion that the woman was ever really harmed, and certainly not killed. It appears that the women had been willing. I couldn't understand why.
But there was someone who might know. If I were to die without children, my cousin Sylvia would inherit the estate. She had been very close to my late aunt Hester, who had died about five years ago.
Although I call Sylvia 'cousin', the relationship is more distant than a first cousin. But we are both descended from past Socmen of Maidensdoom. I had wanted Sylvia for a long time, but she had treated me as a distant relation, not a friend, and certainly not a potential lover or partner. But as my heir, I had invited her to visit me.
What I really wanted was to tup Sylvia on the Maidensdoom stone. What little I understood of the legends included the suggestion that the man and woman who coupled on the stone were linked for the rest of the lives. A life linked to Sylvia seemed an attractive prospect. But how could I get her on to the stone? I had asked around in London and found a supply of the date-rape drug. If Sylvia wouldn't cooperate willingly, perhaps drugged she might be persuadable? I still didn't understand why the women were so willing to be fucked on that stone. I could ask Sylvia. Maybe aunt Hester told her something that Uncle Simon hadn't told me?
The family solicitors had produced a draft amendment to my will. Previously I had left my estate in trust for my uncle's son and his sons. Now they were dead, Sylvia was my only living relation. I had friends, but none close enough to leave more than a few trinkets to.
The next few weeks passed in a whirl. I had to arrange for a survey of the old house and get estimates for the more urgent repairs. I was still running my business in London, trying to create time for a week or two at the old house, yet despairing of getting my staff to take suitable responsibility. I appointed a local firm of land agents to deal with the builders and asked them to employ some cleaners to make a few of the bedrooms and living rooms vaguely habitable. It was costing money, but I could afford it. If I made an office and installed fast broadband at Maidensdoom, I could sell my London house. I could live very comfortably as Socman, travelling to London sometimes.
Sylvia and I communicated by email and text. She would arrive next Saturday and stay for a few days. I was excited by the idea of those few days. Would they be long enough to for me to persuade her to lie on the Maidensdoom stone?
I left my office early on Thursday afternoon so that I could visit the land agents, get the house keys back, and check on Friday that everything was ready for Sylvia.
The land agents had excelled themselves. So had the cleaners. Maidensdoom sparkled in every room despite the faded furniture and curtains. The curtains could be replaced. They were 1960s. Some of the older furniture could be reupholstered and some just replaced. The heirloom furniture was wooden and had been polished beautifully.
The only disappointing parts were the kitchen and grounds. The kitchen had been modernised in the 1950s. The equipment was working but antique. Two of the bathrooms had been refitted in the last ten years. The grounds showed that my uncle hadn't spent much on gardeners. The hedges were overgrown and the flower beds had too many untrimmed shrubs.
If the land agents knew of gardeners as competent as the cleaners then the gardens could be improved.
I had my evening meal in the local public house. It was a competent meal but not up to the restaurant standards I was used to. I asked some of the regulars about local restaurants. Their opinions varied but apparently there are half a dozen or so reasonable restaurants within ten miles. They could be explored later.
Saturday morning I met Sylvia's train. She would have come by car but some drunken idiot had side-swiped it. It would be repaired by the middle of the week but she didn't want to drive an unfamiliar hire car that far.
I would have recognised Sylvia anywhere from her flaming red hair. Her head shone on that station platform, reminding me painfully just how much I wanted her.
We went to the Land Agent's office first. I wrote a couple of cheques then asked if the staff could witness my new will. Sylvia objected.
"Why now, Duncan? Couldn't it wait?"
"Sorry Sylvia, but you have to be my heir just in case..."
"OK. But I still think it could wait."
I spread the will document on the desk, and while two of the staff and Sylvia watched, I put my finger on the seal and said:
"I execute this as my will and deed."
I then signed it, and two copies. The witnesses signed all three versions. I put one copy in an envelope addressed to the family solicitor, put a postage stamp on it and sealed it. I gave a copy to Sylvia, and put the last one in my jacket pocket. As we left the office I posted the Solicitor's original in a nearby post box. It wouldn't be collected until Monday afternoon, but it was safe in the care of Royal Mail.
Sylvia didn't say anything while I drove the short distance to Maidensdoom house. Once we were inside and her suitcase was in her room, we made coffee in the kitchen. She looked around as if in disbelief.
"Depressing, isn't it?" I said.
"No, Duncan. It isn't. I'm amazed at how clean and tidy it is. It was never this clean even when Hester was alive. It wasn't tidy after she had died. Uncle Simon used to leave most things on the work surfaces. I can see what this kitchen must have been like when it was new. But I couldn't live with it now. There's no dishwasher. The washing machine isn't even a twin tub."
"I bought a microwave..."
"I can see that. It jars with the time warp that this kitchen is. Can we take our cups somewhere else? I'm feeling sad. This was once Hester's pride and joy and now it is just out of date."