Edited by MichelleMoran
Thence come the maidens, mighty in wisdom,
Three from their dwelling in roots of the tree;
Past is one named, Present the next --
They scored wood with runes-- and Future the third.
Laws they made there; and life they allotted
To the sons of men, and set their fates.
The
Völuspá
Chapter 1
It was a dark and stormy night...
No, seriously, it was a fucking dark and stormy night. It was cold, wet, miserable, and dark as hell. I was sunk in mud halfway up my combat boots, my ruck was funneling rain water right down the middle of my back, and I would have been shivering if I hadn't been burning up from an eight or nine mile hump over the hills and through the woods to-grandmother's-house we damn well
go
, in full battle-rattle. I could only see at all because we stopped at the edge of a break in the forest, and the difference between pitch black and almost-pitch-black was enough to see by.
I was bent over with my hands propped on my knees to take some of the weight off my shoulders. They say it's better to drop your ruck and walk it out, but that would have required moving. And there was mud everywhere, and I didn't want to deal with the mess. And it would have required moving. To hell with my pride, I was
tired
. I'd had to keep pace with a horse, for chrissake. I concentrated on keeping my breathing even.
Wolfdietrich leaned back on his horse beside me and shrugged his hood back. When I worked up the strength to open my eyes and look up, he was halfheartedly trying to shake the water out of his reins. He had already tugged his boots up, adjusted his belt, and hitched his sword further back on his hip.
His horse shifted its weight from foot to foot and sighed loudly. Then it tugged on the reins.
Personally, I agreed with the horse. Wolfdietrich was killing time we probably didn't have, because he wasn't looking forward to taking the next step. And who could blame him? I wasn't very happy about the idea of marching into a hole in the ground to take on a dragon either, but I wasn't in charge, so I didn't have to be. They pay officers to be happy about that sort of shit. Or nobles, in this case.
Yes, the guy's name was actually Wolfdietrich, and we were about to fight a fucking dragon.
But maybe I should back up.
My name is John Falcone, Sergeant First Class, US Army. I'm a 21 Mike –a firefighter, and I'm responsible for all, and I quote, "Fire protection, personnel rescue, first aid and fire prevention duties" at Army Flight Operations Detachment, Heidelberg. Translation: I'm a thirty two year old solder in this man's Army, pretending to be a station chief, trying to keep an honest-to-god firefighting service together on hope, dreams, bailing wire and all the equipment I can misappropriate from beautiful, scenic, Heidelberg Army Airfield.
That last part was a lie. There's nothing scenic about Heidelberg AAF. If Heidelberg is a jigsaw puzzle, AFOD Heidelberg is a piece from a different puzzle that somebody stomped into place. I shit you not; there are houses two hundred feet from the runway. Look it up on Google Maps, it'll scare the hell out of you. And if you think it makes you nervous to look at on a map, try flying out of it sometime. Or into it. Someone could literally back off the end of their driveway and onto the airfield. When the locals are drunk enough on their awesome German beer, sometimes they
do
.
Do you know the story of Sisyphus? The guy who was punished by the gods to roll a boulder up a hill, but as soon as he gets it to the top, it rolls down the other side and forces him to start all over again? My job is like that. Almost all our equipment is twenty years out of date, we don't have the budget for testing it regularly, much less training with it, and I have precisely four other dedicated firefighters to work with. The rest of my boys are mechanics or machinists who cross-trained to fill in.
Not that it's a disaster waiting to happen, really. When Army doesn't have the funding or equipment to solve a problem, it tries to make up for it with good people. Usually. And we have good relations with the local
Feuerwehr
. And whenever the Heidelberg
Feuerwehrleute
strap on their black-and-gold bumblebee suits to have a training exercise, more often than not one of my guys will be tagging along, trying to look inconspicuous in silver mylar and digicam nomex.
They put me in charge of this mess because I'm one of the four enlisted men in the Army with a Master's degree in fire prevention engineering. University of Maryland, class of '09. Bet you didn't know there was such a thing. Don't feel bad, my chain of command didn't know either. They were so happy when they found out that, for my sins, they promoted me to Sergeant First Class and ended my career.
You see, because I'm a firefighter, I'm just about guaranteed never to be promoted beyond SFC. And if by some miracle I am, the Army will turn me into just another general contractor doing general contracting in an engineering battalion, and I'll spend my days doing something interesting –like building a bulletproof Starbucks in Afghanistan.
Knowing that to an old 21 Mike that kind of thing would be a fate worse than death, some kind soul in Admin somewhere managed to put me out to pasture at what's essentially a private airfield for the brass at Campbell Barracks. Or, excuse me, at Component Command-Land Headquarters, Heidelberg, as we're officially supposed to call it now. Yeah I know, no one else does either.
Either way, the brass fly in, the brass fly out. They pretend that I'm valued, and I pretend to believe it. All together it's enough to give a man a headache.
Which was why, as soon as my CO approved my leave request, I hopped a train from Hamburg to Freiburg im Breisgau for four days of hiking through the Black Forest.
Der Schwarzwaldverein
, kind of a combination hiking club and nature society, had sent me a surprisingly detailed tourist map that promised me 24,000 kilometers of clearly marked, easy-to-navigate nature trails, and I was ready for all of them. Rank hath its privileges.
A lot of avid hikers try to go for "yuppie-adventurist chic". Slip-on running shoes
sans
socks, cargo shorts
circa
1998, Underarmor running shirt superglued to the abs, Livestrong bracelet, weathered ballcap, hemp necklace, seven hundred dollar modular hiking system with lumbar support... you know the look. You have to accessorize before you can go for a walk in the woods. Whatever happened to the classic outdoorsman look? Maybe it makes me old-fashioned, but I keep rocking the flannel and jeans.
It was almost nineteen hundred hours when I finally stepped into something that looked like a forest. I still had a little more than an hour of daylight left though, and there was no way I was going to wuss out and rent a room on my first night of leave. So I tightened up the only kind of boots I own, threw my MOLLE pack over my shoulders and shuffled off down the trail at the quickest pace I could manage without risking my knees. Hooah.
It didn't take long in the forest to convince me that Germany is amazing. Even their forests are clean. I've never seen anything like it in the States. I grew up in Tennessee, and between the fallen logs, underbrush and rabbit holes, our forests will flat break your leg if you're not careful when walking off the beaten path. Not in the Black Forest. It's almost like they have someone go out with a rake and a lawnmower to clean up the woods. Then again, it's Germany. Maybe they do.
It was well after sunset, so I had maybe twenty minutes of light left when I came across a good camp site. This is Europe so of course it was occupied, but it wasn't full. I unpacked both halves of my same-as-issued two-man tent and staked out a spot between the tall, sweeping roots of a truly enormous old beech tree on the edge of the clearing.
The camping ground was on the crest of a long, steep hill that overlooked stone-fenced pastures, and a sleepy little hamlet with an unpronounceable name full of too many consonants and grossly inflated prices. The other campers had obviously decided to cook for themselves rather than take out a mortgage to have dinner in
Touristplatz
down below. Or maybe they didn't want to hike back up that godawful hill while drunk as a skunk.
Either way, food was cooking and the drinks were flowing. And the pot was smoking. Enough that you'd think we were in Amsterdam. I was worried about getting a contact high and flunking my next drug test until a little breeze pushed most of the cloud away.
While I was walking around setting up camp, I noticed that I got a few looks from my campmates
du jour
. When you're a big guy with short hair and you dress like a lumberjack or an off-duty cop, you tend to get that. I chalk it up to my good looks and southern charm. And if you believe that, I'd love to sell you some prime Arizona beachfront property.
I was a little surprised, though, because you
don't
normally get scowls, frowns and suspicion. Or at least I don't. Southern charm, remember? But several of the campers visibly kept their distance. Maybe I'm too old for the cool kids to play with anymore. Or maybe they were afraid I was
Bundespolizei
and here to break up the fun.