Day 736
I keep journaling to mark the passage of time as I careen through space. It's part of what keeps me to the Earth definition of a "day", out here in this empty region. Journaling and coffee and exercise and sleep and (since no one else will ever read this) jacking off.
It's been two years, by my reckoning, since Earth Command put me on a ship and shot me out to meet our neighbors from the next galaxy over. I was a compromise choice, I know. Qualified, but not too important to spare. After all, this is a one-way mission. Even if I survive first contact with the aliens, I have no ride home. It was only by a precise gravitational slingshot maneuver that my ship was able to achieve its velocity in the right direction. To achieve that, the ship had to be stripped of any propulsion and navigation systems.
When I left Earth, we knew that this alien race is interested in a first contact meeting, but not much else about them. It's been a week since a transmission from Earth Command caught up to me. Using infrared telescopes, they'd gotten better imagery of other worlds this race had been to. Worlds that had been showing signs of space exploration, like us. After these aliens visit, the worlds they visit stop exploring. Perhaps they kill intentionally, or perhaps they carry disease. Guess I'll find out soon enough.
My instructions are simple. Establish first contact and report back, and don't betray humanity.
Day 741
It was easy to forget sometimes that I've been traveling at close to light speed. But I sure could feel it when the alien ship locked onto mine, and brought the two ships into alignment. I could feel the deceleration of my ship even before theirs came into view.
It's been a very strange day, and I don't know what to think about it yet.
Their ship brought mine in to dock. My airlock gave me readings from the outside--the pressurized interior of their ship--and it looked compatible, in terms of pressure, temperature, and composition. It was basically equivalent to Earth air. Maybe it was foolish, but it seemed like they had prepared the meeting chamber to meet my requirements, so I decided not to bother with the full space suit. I guess I wanted them to really see me, and understand what humans are.
I stepped out of my airlock and into the chamber on their ship. There I saw one of them for the first time. It was tall, probably 7 or 8 feet. It was swathed in something--cloth? loose skin?--so I couldn't really even make out how many limbs it had under there.
"Uh...hello," I said, my adrenaline pounding.
Instead of a verbal greeting, it started poking around in my mind. Images came and went. The muddy ground of the Earth Command training camp. Over-warmed coffee and fluorescent-lit offices. It was sifting back through my memories. I was powerless against it. I saw myself arriving at the training camp, duffel bag over my shoulder. If it had gone back that far, it already knew everything that I did, about Earth's capabilities and defenses. But that didn't seem to be what it was after. It kept searching.
Then it latched onto a memory, and I was thrust into it. I was lying in bed, curled up against Jenna's back, morning light filtering through the blinds. My erection was pressed against her backside.
I had thought about Jenna often, on so many nights to myself. The last relationship I had, before I got catapulted into space. I knew what my memories of her felt like, and this was something more. It was so real that I risked forgetting that it wasn't.
I held Jenna close in my arms, and kissed the back of her neck. She gasped, and craned her neck out of the way, offering more of it to me.
As she started to writhe in my embrace, my cock found its way down between her thighs. Angling her hips, I could feel my shaft slide across her cleft. I could feel the heat and slippery moisture of it.
While my hands reached around, teasing the soft skin of her stomach, caressing her breasts, Jenna kept pressing back against me, guided by her own sense of need. The friction between us was nearly overwhelming, but I held out, waiting for a moment I knew would come. Feeling her align with me just right, I pushed forward into her, the head of my cock slipping just barely inside her.
We both stopped to savor the moment, and hesitate about what to do next. This was dangerous, but that made it all the more intoxicating. In moments like this, when I was having a brush with fate, my life would flash before my eyes. Jenna wanted kids, but not with a guy who didn't want them. So I was only ever a stop-gap lay, on the way to a guy who would. We both knew this had to end pretty soon for her to have a shot at that, or else I had to become that guy. Sometimes she tried to change my mind; I knew it was out of a desire to make it work between us, but it always grated on me anyway. But sometimes, in the heat of the moment, my mind was more open to what she wanted.
Not content to stop at the threshold, I pulled her to me, pushing my erection deeper into her. We used condoms religiously, but I could always tell the difference when I entered her raw.
"We ought to get a rubber on you, it's my fertile time of the month..." she said, short of breath. I could feel her vaginal walls responding to my intrusion, in a way I never could through a sheath. "Unless..."
"I've missed this so much," I groaned.
"Huh?" she said, confused but only half paying attention to my words.
In that moment, I realized I wasn't just a passive observer here, this memory was maleable. My present self was the one reliving it. It reminded me of the real world out there--the first contact mission, with a powerfully telepathic race of aliens.
I also realized exactly which time with Jenna this was. This was the very last time we were together. I'd just been chosen for the mission, and I had held off telling her, for as long as I could. And I remembered what I had actually said at the time.
"I'm going to miss this so much," I said.
Her hand grabbed mine, stopping me from teasing her further. "What did you say?"
I hesitated. It would be so easy to lie. I could play out this scene differently than how it had actually happened. This was my chance to be with Jenna just this one last time. Except she was so real to me here, and I did care about her, too much to actually do that.
"I'm leaving at the end of the week," I said. I stopped thrusting into her, and just held her close, kissing her shoulder. "I'm going to space!"
I expected it to be something of a disappointment to her, but I hadn't registered just how suddenly things could change between us. She pulled away, my cock slipping free of her. I tried to reach for her again, but her hand intercepted mine.
"What are you doing?" I asked, letting my hand fall to the bed.
"Sorry, I'm only into people who are into me," she said, pulling on her clothes with shaky hands. "I take that back, I'm not actually sorry."
"Jenna, come on! Can't we just make the most of the last few days we have?"
But her mind was already made up. She shook her head in disbelief.
And then I was torn from the scene. The alien kept skimming back through my memories. I felt it linger briefly on other times I'd been with Jenna. It would drop me in for just a moment, often mid-act. My mouth on her pussy. My erection straying dangerously up into her for just a moment. These moments came to me not just in sight and sound and smell and touch, but in the full-body sensation of coupling with her. I could feel my cock straining for the warmth and comfort and caress inside of her, like it always did.
And then we were delving further into my past, before the Jenna era, venturing back through a string of short-lived flings and one-nighters. It was dredging up encounters that I had all but forgotten about. Not that I marked my life in sexual acts, but these were the only parts of my past that the alien paid any attention to. I wondered if it took a voyeuristic pleasure from it.
Then we reached Lila. Lila and I were a match made in hell, with drama at every turn. We split up and got back together too many times to count. Lila at least knew herself well enough to recognize that nobody should ever entrust a child to her. That didn't stop us from stupidly pushing our luck too many times.
I recognized this memory immediately. Lila and I were on a road trip with Lila's sister Emmie, and we had just checked into a motel room in West Virginia, sharing the room to save some cash.
Emmie was in the shower, and Lila hopped up on the bed, straddling me, kissing me hard, her intent clear and outrageous. Her hand found its way down between my legs, and she never had any trouble coaxing me to hardness. Lila seemed to get turned on by the possibility of getting caught. (I've always suspected this is why I found out about her affair in the end.)
"Seriously?" I asked, letting the voice of reason have its say.
"We've got plenty of time," she said, with a wicked smirk.
I pulled down my shorts, mainly so she wouldn't get her juices all over them, and she guided me up into her. Then she started bouncing frantically on my lap, so hard that it almost hurt every time her buttocks came down on my thighs.
Lila wasn't lying; it didn't take long until she was writhing and shaking on my lap, biting her lip to stifle her cry as she came. I wasn't far behind, panting in her ear. Then the water in the bathroom shut off.
"Stop," I whispered. "Stop stop stop!"
"Okay, okay, okay," she said, teasingly.
Lila's skirt was splayed out around us where we were conjoined. It maybe hid that I didn't have shorts on, but it also wasn't hard to guess that we were in flagrante. Her sister Emmie seemed deliberately clueless as she came out in a towel, just long enough to grab a change of clothes and go back into the bathroom. Meanwhile I was still very much erect and on edge inside of Lila's vagina, trying with all my might not to cum inside Lila with her sister in the room.
