Lily of the Uncanny Valley

Liam held the tiny shears with surgical prediction.

The peppers- very hot orange habaneros- had finally grown too big for their space. The top leaves were reaching up too close to the grow light, and their tips browned from the contact. It was time to cut it clean to encourage growth in a healthier direction.

Liam pushed his messy brown hair out of his eyes to be able to see better, his equally brown eyes laser focused. He didn't like cutting the plants, but knew in the end it made them healthier. He found a good spot to cut, and placed the shears around the stem.

"Sorry. Trust me, in the end, it's better than you pushing more leaves into the light."

He used to feel weird talking to them. But... who else would he talk to?

Mere moments before the cut, his phone rang. He pulled the shears away, suddenly nervous, as he always was, when someone called. Some part of him hoped it would be spam. But when he looked down, his phone was projecting the perfect 3D hologram of Holly.

He and Holly had met and went on a few dates together. She was cute, but a little out of his league, and she seemed to know it.

He picked up. "Hey!"

"Hey. Is this a... good time?"

He swallowed. "Yeah, sure! Um. I had a great time last night."

"I did too, but. Look. There's no easy way to say this, but I just don't think we're... compatible."

Liam felt his heart drop. "Ah."

"I'm sorry, it's... you're a nice guy and everything. Just not the right guy for me."

He sighed. The first time a girl had rejected him, it had been painful. Now, after trying to find the one for a year, he had grown sadly accustomed to it. Still... it stung a little.

"Yeah, it's totally fine."

"Look... you'll find someone!"

"I... you don't have to..." He chewed on his lip. Taking a breath for confidence, he asked. "Can I... can I ask you something?"

"...what?"

"Can I just ask, like... why?"

"Oh."

"You don't have to, it's just... I don't know. Is there something I could do better for the... next person?" He swallowed. "Is it the height thing?" he asked, his voice quieter. He was a little short. He had heard girls really cared about that kind of thing. He had never asked a date before why they had rejected him, but... he was beginning to wonder why he never got past the third date.

Holly was shorter. But she wasn't that much shorter.

"No! No, of course not."

Liam wasn't sure he believed her, but didn't care. "Okay, so... what?"

"It's just... Liam, I don't know. You're a really good guy, but... you're just kind of dorky, you know? And that's not a bad thing! But it's just not what I'm looking for. I mean... the wall of plants? And the 20s retro VR arcade date?"

He sighed. "Okay. Right."

"Sorry!"

"No, I... I asked."

"Seriously, you're a great guy."

He was beginning to hate that term. "Okay. Well. Good luck out there."

"Same to you."

He listened to her hang up, and he was back by himself. He looked at his phone for a few seconds, mind numb for a moment, before leaning back in and cutting the pepper plant.

It was a terrible cut, an inch from where he'd intended it. "Sorry!" He cleaned it up a bit. "Oh man. Sorry."

He took a step back, observing the pepper plant in its place among all the other plants on the living wall- Liam's hobby for the last five years. Mounted to the biggest wall of his small apartment was a series of different basins- each having a different plant growing out of it. Above each of these basins was an artificial growing light, as well as tubes that ran water between them. Without the plants, the wall was quite ugly- but at the moment, full of fruits, vegetables and flowers, Liam was quite proud of how it looked.

Or he usually was. Right now he felt stupid for ever having started it.

He put the shears on a small table next to the living wall, and decided to get a beer out of his fridge, sit down, and watch TV.

It started with a commercial- targeted specifically towards him, as all commercials were now.

"Tired of the dating scene?" A sultry voice on the TV asked.

Liam rolled his eyes. It would seem serendipitous if he didn't know the phone companies were selling his data- including transcripts- to advertisers.

"Come check out SynthTech androids." Images flashed on screen of their androids, each almost eerily flawless woman. "One try and you'll never go back to the real thing."

Liam shook his head. He'd get these ads after every breakup- it was obviously when people made the choice to switch to a sex bot. But he wasn't that desperate.

He looked at the inside of his beer, nearly empty.

Was he?

***

God, thought Liam, buzzed. Am I really going to do this?

He stood outside the shop- the android girls in the window waving and winking at him silently. The inside of the shop was clean, but the outside was dirty, as it wasn't in the greatest part of town. If you sold innocent androids for innocent purposes, you could have a shop anywhere. Assistants and helpers- gardeners and salesclerks- sure, companies who made those robots could have a store at the local mall. But there wasn't anything innocent about these robots' purpose.

Was he really about to do this? To be one of those guys who buys a... sex robot?

Liam took a big breath and stepped inside.

"Hey," greeted a somewhat bored salesman, slightly overweight and greasy. "Welcome to SynthTech. Where your pleasure is our business." He droned the line as if he had said it a hundred times that day- and who knows, maybe he had. That being said, Liam was the only person in the store.

"Hi," replied Liam quietly. He couldn't help but feel a bit of shame for even being in the store. He glanced around the room, noting the androids on stands around the room. Unlike the ones in the window, they stood perfectly still- a statue of what you could have. Each endlessly beautiful in a unique way- some curvy, some athletic- some tall, some short- there were some men, too, in the corner, but it seemed to be far fewer than the women. All scantily clad so you could almost see what you were buying.

Almost.

"So, kid. What are you here for- you want to rent or buy?"

Liam swallowed, feeling himself crossing a threshold that he could never come back from. "Um. Buy."

The salesman nodded. "Good. Better than way. Who wants to fuck one of these things after someone else does. Right? Better to get a fresh one, off the line."

Liam laughed nervously, but immediately disliked the man. "Right."

The salesman tapped at the digital pad in his hand. "So, let's narrow it down first. Based on what we're looking for here. You like the ladies? Or are you more into the gentlemen?"

"Um, a girl. Please."

"Ok. And what about height?"

"Tall."

The salesman laughed. "You sure? At your height, you might feel more comfortable with a shorter one. A curvy little short stack, maybe? I can save you a few bucks that way, too."

Liam felt a little anger flare up at the dig at his height. "Tall," he replied again, more firmly.

"Suit yourself. And what's your ideal look, here? You looking for something more athletic, or curvy?"

"A little of both?"

The salesman nodded. "I hear ya. Why choose?" He tapped more on the pad. "Okay, SynthTech recommends... S double zero twenty four. Ah, yeah, that makes sense. The 'Nova' model. Come on, follow me." The salesman led him into a new room, in the back, with more displays of more models. He turned a corner, revealing the robot. "Meet Nova." He gestured at her, still bored.

Nova was a very tall brunette with dark eyes. The simple, light blue underwear she wore did little to cover her curves, which were enormous- both her bust and ass were big. Still, they gave her shoulder real defined muscle- she looked crazy strong.

"Wow," said Liam quietly, genuinely in awe.

"Yeah, I think whoever designed this one watched a few too many old Wonder Woman cartoons."

"How tall is she?" asked Liam, looking up at her.

"Uhh," mumbled the salesman, looking down at the pad. "Six foot three. So maybe a little too tall...?"

"No. No, it's perfect."

"You don't want to look at anything else?"

"I mean, I don't know. What about... what's she like?"

The salesman chuckled. "Kid, she'd like whatever you want her to be like. I can load up any personality you want- SynthTech has dozens to choose from. Or you can go for one of the custom ones, if you've got the cash."

"Custom?"

"Yeah, basically it'll ask you a bunch of questions to figure out the perfect partner for you. Money back guarantee on the personality if you don't like it, by the way."

"What do most people do?"

The salesman shrugged. "Depends on the guy. Some guys leave the default personality in, cuz they're looking for a sex doll that can put itself away, you know? Others need it to act exactly like an old boss, or their babysitter, or whatever."

Liam studied her. "Right. Can I see her... move?"

"Sure, kid." The salesman tapped the pad, and Nova came to life.

Her movements were not fluid, very robotic. She looked down at him. "Let me please you, master."

"See," said the Salesman, "This is the default shit. Basically using one percent of its CPU. But it's cheap if you don't care. Where as..." he tapped his pad again "... there are some more interesting ones if we add a little bit of power."

Nova's voice was suddenly sweet, with a bit of a southern twang. "Hi! What's your name?"

"Um. Liam."

She smiled down at him- her movements were much more fluid and natural. It was hard to tell she was a robot. "Well, hey there, Liam. You know, you may just be the cutest guy I've seen walk into this town in years..."

"With these simple ones... they're a little cliche, but it gets the job done," says the Salesman. "There are some more advanced personalities, or even, like I said... the custom one just for you."

"And custom makes... a totally unique personality?"

"Yeah. It'll ask you a bunch of questions, and try to make a good fit."

"Um. Let's do custom."

"Sounds good, kid." The salesman's tablet flashed. "Hmm. Um. Well, I've never seen this one before."

Liam cocked his head at him. "What is it?"

"Well, it's asking if you want to beta test one of the new items. Some kind of brain scanner, looks like it helps with building a custom profile? Wouldn't be extra since it's in beta. Are you interested?"

"Brain... scanner?"

"Yeah, hold on, let me read... yeah... okay, here it is. 'The 'Crown' sits on your head and gives your SynthTech android feedback whenever the pleasure center of your brain is activated. This gives immediate and detailed feedback to your android...' blah blah, you get it. Doesn't read your mind or anything but gives Nova here a sense of when she's doing something right. Sound interesting?"

"Uh. Sure."

"Great. Okay. Nova, with custom... comes out to... thirty three thousand credits." The salesman held out the tablet with the details, waiting for payment.

Liam winced. Not only was that a huge sum, but this was the final moment. Where he would decide to become one of these guys. The guys with a sex robot. It wasn't like he was absolutely awful with women, but... it was so tempting. He could never score anyone who looked like her, not in a million years. And it was so much easier, he was so tired of trying to find someone. Every first date went okay, but eventually, they moved on to someone new. Someone taller, or someone... without a weird interest in gardening.

He sighed. "Okay." He took out and tapped his card on the tablet.

"Great. Thanks, kid. Expect her in a week or two."

***

Two weeks passed, and finally, at his apartment door came a knock. He put down his squirt bottle, walked away from the flowers under his grow light, and walked over to the door and opened it.

Two delivery robots stood next to a large crate. They weren't androids- they were regular robots, humanoid in design, but their rusted orange metal exterior didn't attempt to disguise their nature. The crate was unmarked, to keep it discreet.

"Good afternoon, sir," said one of the robots. "Thumb scan please."

Liam placed his thumb on the robot's tablet- it blinked green, confirming the delivery.

"Thank you sir. Where would you like the delivery?"

"In my b- in the living room, here." He stepped aside, gesturing to the simple living room of his one bedroom apartment.

The robots easily lifted the crate, placed it down in his apartment, then quietly went on their way, closing the door behind them.

Liam stared at the box for a moment- a mixture of humiliated and excited. He lifted the top, and looked down. There, curled up in a fetal position, was the beautiful Nova, surrounded by packing material.

As soon as the light hit her closed eyes, they popped open. Liam heard a metallic whirr, and she lifted herself upright, standing up and stepping out of the box. She wore a simple dress- the same light blue color of the underwear she wore at the store. It hugged her generous curves.

"Hello, sir," she said, in a very neutral yet beautiful voice. She towered above him at her height.

"Hi," said Liam- feeling bashful but not really knowing why. She was just a thing, after all.

She smiled warmly down at him. "First, can I confirm your name, Liam?"

"Yes."

"And you are the purchaser and owner of me, this Nova model, correct?"

"Yes, I'm the... yes."

"Before we begin, do you mind if I plug myself in to charge?"

"Um. Sure."

"Thank you." She reached into the box, pulling out a thick wire. She walked gracefully over to the wall, plugging it in, and then plugged the other end into the back of her neck.

As she was turned around, Liam stole a look at her perfect ass. Then he wondered why he was 'stealing' it, and felt stupid.

She turned back around, and stepped towards him. "Would you mind sitting, please?"

"Okay." He sat down on his couch. She smiled down at him again- the height difference from here was tremendous.

"And do you mind if I move your coffee table? I need to sit before you for setup. I will move it back."

"Sure."

She moved the table completely effortlessly, showcasing tremendous strength. Then she walked over to her box, reached down and grabbed a circular ring from it. She then kneeled down before him- she was a little shorter than him like this, but... not by that much.

"First, thank you for choosing SynthTech," she said with a full smile. "I am excited to get started, and I hope you are too."

Liam swallowed. "I am."

"Great. You have selected a custom personality to best fit your needs. To build the best personality, I will explain some scenarios to you and ask you some questions. I will then build a personality for myself based on your responses- as well as the data I receive from this crown." She held up the ring- it was bronze in color, and on the inside, Liam could see the intricate details of tiny circuitry. "May I place this on your head?"

"Sure."

She reached out and did so- Liam couldn't help but drink in the full line of her cleavage as she adjusted the thing on his head.

"Thank you," she said, sitting back down. "Do you have any questions before we begin?"

"Um. No, I don't think so."

"First, can I have access to your internet and your browsing history?"

Liam blinked at her. "Um..."

"This data is kept totally private. But access to your hobbies, interests and- yes- the kind of porn you watch is very helpful in building my personality."

"Okay, um. Sure." The request popped up on his phone- a new request for full admin access to his system. He clicked accept.

"Thank you. I'll begin analyzing that now. Would you mind taking off your pants?"

Liam blushed. "You... need me to..."

"It is helpful to see if there's any reaction in your penis as I speak. Arousal is the goal, after all." She smiled, almost cheekily. It was the first moment she seemed more like a person and less like a robot.

"Sure...um..." Liam slid his pants off, but left his boxer briefs on.

"Thank you. I've finished my analysis and I'm ready. Are you okay to begin?"

"Sure."

"Thank you. All right. Please concentrate hard on the hypothetical scenario I present. Then, afterwards, please answer my question about it as truthfully as you can."

"Um, okay."

"Scenario one. You and I are sitting together on this couch. Our hands are touching, one on top of another. We are looking into each other's eyes. Are you imagining it?"

Liam swallowed. "Yes."

Her brown robotic eyes were totally focused on him, studying him with intense care. "Question: whose hand is on top? Mine? Or yours?"

Liam thought about it. "Yours."

She nodded. "Scenario two. You are fucking me missionary in your bed." Liam blinked at the swear, but realized quickly she was a sex robot. "It's passionate and rough. We flip over so I'm on top. I begin riding you. Who initiated switching positions- you or me?"

Liam felt his cock twitch, just a little bit. "You did."

"Scenario three. We've finished fucking, and are in bed. It's the morning, and the light is creeping in. You have work soon. Do you take any time to cuddle me?"

Cuddle? A robot? Why would that matter? Liam thought about it. "...Yes, I do."

"Scenario four. You are fucking me from behind, hard. It's intense and we are both close to climax. You demand that I flip over so you can see my tits. I tell you no, and beg you to keep fucking me from behind, since I'm close. What do you do?"

Liam felt his cock get a little harder, but couldn't contain his curiosity. "You... would you do that? Not do what I say?"

"Please answer the question."

"I would... keep fucking you from behind."

"Scenario five. There's a dress available for my model I want. You tell me to fuck you, but I deny you. I won't fuck you until you buy it for me. What do you do?"

Liam couldn't believe she was asking this. "I... I don't know, I think... I think I'd..."

"Scenario six. You-"

"Wait, I didn't answer!"

"I have all the data I need. May I continue?"

"Um. Okay."

"Scenario six. You have an important work event. I demand you take me with you and introduce you to your colleagues, even though I am obviously a sex android. What do you do?"

"I... I guess... I don't know, I might take you?"

"Scenario seven. Your brother is in a happy marriage. He visits with his wife- you tell me to stay hidden. I do not- instead, I seduce your brother, bring him into your room and fuck him. When we are making love, what are you doing?"

Liam stood up, shocked. "What the fuck?"

"Thank you. I have all the data I need! Would you like to hear the results?"

Liam studied her for a moment. It was such a weird question. She glanced down and he did, too- revealing the cock tenting in his pants. He blushed and sat back down. "Um. Sure."

"Great. So based on your browser history, crown data and responses, I've generated a new personality for you. This is based around the archetype 'Null' but is designed to be just for you."

"What?"

"My new personality is ready!"

"No, I mean... what was the, um... archetype?"

"Ah, an archetype is a useful guideline! It lets you know what my personality is most like. For example, some may end up with a personality based around the 'Playful' archetype. Others may like 'Bashful' or 'Sweet', and so on. Yours is based on 'Null'."

"And what is that? Null? Is that... a word, or...?"

Nova looked confused. "Hm. I'm sorry, there's some kind of error. I don't have access to the description of that one. But it's based on the following personality datapoints: Extrovert, 8. Honest, 3. Confident, 9. Humorous, 4. Patient, 1. Dominant, NaN. Smart, 8. Loya-"

"What was... was that one?"

"Smart?"

"No, the... dominant. What was that number?"

"The number 'NaN'."

Liam blinked at her. She didn't seem to realize she wasn't saying a number. "... but..."