Lilith Has an Etsy

The shit you buy when you're drunk and horny... Of course I emailed the scam artist this morning, desperate to cancel, hoping for a refund.

This was the reply from the shop:

"We are sorry to hear that you are having second thoughts. Unfortunately, as clearly marked on our listing, we do not offer refunds. We understand this is a very personal matter. You may still request to cancel the ritual if you wish, but please do so before midnight. If you would still like us to go ahead with the ritual, please know that we do have a 100% satisfaction guarantee and over seven hundred 5-star reviews. Have a blessed day!"

Such a fucking rip-off. $300 for a

Long-Lost-Love Return Encounter

. What the fuck does that even mean?! The Etsy Shop was called

Lilith's Rituals

, as in Lilith the succubus queen, mother of demons. Yea,

that

Lilith.

My reply to them:

"So the way I see it, and correct me if I'm wrong, I can cancel this bs ritual and I'm out my money. Or I can let you

go ahead

with the ritual and at some point get my money back for not being satisfied? Is it a money back thing or would you just give me some shit coupon for another made up spell?"

I'm not an idiot, I swear! I was just lonely, drunk, and apparently thought

what the fuck?

last night after stumbling home from a work happy hour. I can't believe they let shops like this exist. I mean, where is the quality control?! I saw no downside to letting them say they've performed the ritual. If it was real (as if, right?), then I was in for some kind of action. Since it's not real, there's no harm in them doing the ceremony. Smart money would be on them doing nothing and sending the same 'proof of ritual' pic they advertised on the listing to every idiot dumb enough to fall for this trap. Still, you gotta admire the dedication of this shop, paying for that many fake reviews. Kinda overkill if you ask me.

Midnight rolled around and I received another email from them:

"We are pleased to inform you that your ritual has been completed! Please allow up to 24 hours for initial results. Attached find your proof of ritual picture."

I wasn't sure if I should open it. I scanned it for everything I could think of before clicking on it. It was literally just some lines drawn in sand with like three crosses connecting in a weird upside down way. There were some dark drops that I'm sure I was supposed to think were blood. Definitely just an image that was sent to every dope who fell for their trap.

Fuck it

, I thought as I began writing up an email requesting a refund. I'd send it precisely one minute after midnight tomorrow.

I tried to go to sleep after that, but my mind was racing with thoughts of who'd I'd choose if I could pick someone from my past. I imagine while drunk shopping I'd been thinking of Sara, decent tits and an ass that would not quit. She liked it in the ass, too. Fuck she was good.... But love? I don't know if I'd call her a

long lost love

. I don't know if I'd call anyone that, really. I grabbed my cock and started jacking off thinking about some of the better lays I'd had. Emily gave the best blowjobs and she always swallowed. Steph had a thing for creampies. Georgia though...I don't know, maybe I loved her. I treated her like shit, though. No way she'd come back into my life.

I hadn't meant to. I was finishing up grad school. I was busy! The excessive amounts of weed I was doing would make me insanely horny. Plus some other fucked up reasons I'm sure. She was sweet and so naïve and impressionable. She went along with everything and anything I suggested. It's not like I'd set out to be such a dick to her. I hadn't even realized until my old roommate asked why I fucked with her the way I did, especially when she looked at me the way she did. Georgia loved me, no question about that. I should have loved her. If I were to meet her for the first time today with my life the way it is, I probably would. I would try at least.

The next day was like any other. Woke up, went to work, got some takeout, came home, and played Dota 2 for a couple of hours. I thought about going to bed. I'd need to set that email I drafted on a timed delivery though. I'd be damned if that thing wasn't going to get sent at 12:01. I grabbed my phone to set the timer, right? Well fuck me sideways if I didn't have an email from sweet, naïve Georgia. I thought I was being pranked. There was no fucking way.

"Hey David, had a change in plans and I'm back in town. Never really got unpacked before, unpacking now and found an old notebook of yours. Looks like it's from when you were teaching in Japan. Figured you'd want it. I can mail it to you or drop it off or something if you want it. Let me know. My number is still the same. I would've texted, but I deleted your number. -G"

She always ended her emails like that, as if she didn't have the time to write out her full name. I called her out on that once and instantly regretted it. She fought to hold back tears as she said she just never really liked her name. I didn't ask why, I just kissed her shoulder and kept going and then we were fucking, and I didn't really care and she seemed over it. She was decent in bed. Not the best I'd ever had, but I was also like the second guy she ever slept with. This all ended a couple of years ago. I'd been an asshole from the start. After we slept together for the first time I told her I wasn't looking for a relationship or anything serious. She agreed so adamantly that I believed her when she said that was perfect and she felt the same way.

Feelings developed after we'd been sleeping together almost daily for about a year. We admitted it to each other, and I don't know, I didn't want anything to change so I talked it back.

Why

did I do that?! I was such a fucking idiot back then. This girl would do anything to make me happy, and often did. She even arranged a threesome once. Found a cute little thing that got off on being a unicorn for couples. Damn, that was a great birthday weekend.

Alright, so what to do? It was almost nine pm, I wanted to send this email at midnight. I still didn't believe any of it, even with this email from Georgia. But it's not like I

had

to send it precisely then. I just wanted to call them out on their bullshit. Okay, fuck it. Let's go for it.

I texted Georgia: (I hadn't deleted her number.)

"Hey Georgia, it's David. Nice hearing from you. Yea, I'd been looking for that notebook, forgot I brought it to your place to show you. I'd love to have it back. Can I buy you a drink at Justin's? For the hassle and for old time's sake? I've moved but I'm still pretty close to there. Or I could meet you somewhere else if that would work better for you?"

She read it almost instantly, took about ten minutes to reply. Of course I read all sorts of shit into that.

Her reply:

"Hey David, Justin's is fine. When?"

In for a penny, in for a pound.

"Tonight? It's a four minute walk for me and I got nothing else going on."

"Fine. See you at 9:30."

Not the warmest correspondence I'd ever had with her, but it was something. Still, I couldn't see how I was going to get from her keeping me at arm's length to fucking her brains out. But you never know. I hopped in the shower to scrub up and trim up downstairs. It'd been a while, and no one likes having all that in their face.

Nicely trimmed and scrubbed, I still got to the bar early. I liked this place but on the weekends they kept it too dark and obnoxiously loud. Took a seat in the far back corner hoping we could actually talk. Ordered my usual, Johnnie Walker Black, on the rocks. She always liked how Scotch tasted on me. I figured it couldn't hurt to remind her that once upon a time, she actually did like how I tasted.

She was late but hadn't bothered to send a text. Not like her at all. Then again, I guess I didn't have any right thinking I knew her anymore. At about 9:45 I began to wonder if she was fucking with me. But I knew that was bullshit. She wasn't one to waste her own time like that. Regardless of everything else, I knew that to be true about her. I was just about to close my tab and head home when she strolled in. She was wearing more form fitting clothes than she used to be comfortable in. And her dark red top showed more than enough of her still amazing tits to stir up some fond memories, not to mention my dick. She was wearing tight black pants, maybe yoga pants, leggings, I don't know. Regrettably her shirt covered most of her ass. Still, easy access either way, I contemplated. Although peeling those things off might be a lewdly slow process.

She had her hair down, a sumptuous dark brown that looked black in this lighting, or lack thereof. It looked longer than I remembered. She looked good. Judging by the way she smiled at me, she knew it. She walked over as I stood, not entirely sure how this was going to go. As she got closer, her candid smile at least seemed convincing enough. Even her gray-blue eyes seemed happy to see me.

I put my arms out a bit, making a hugging gesture. I wasn't sure if we were there, but I wanted us to be. I

wanted

to feel her tits pressed up against me as she wrapped her arms around my neck again, but I'm not the kind of guy to push. She didn't even hesitate. She threw her arms around my neck just like she'd done a million times before. I pulled her in close and squeezed tightly, a gesture she returned. I only realized my mistake once it was too late.

"Oho! Happy to see me, it seems!" She teased as she arched her eyebrows seductively.

What the fuck do you say to your ex, not even ex because you couldn't get over yourself enough to treat her better than a fuck toy.... What do you say to that person when they just felt a chubby pressed up against them while getting a simple fucking hug? I didn't say anything and just shrugged guiltily with my whole body and shook my head. She laughed it off, coming back to me quickly to give me a quick kiss on the cheek. Her lips felt so warm against my skin.... She felt warm, all of her, and so fucking soft. She always did have the softest skin.

"Well, it's nice to see you too!" She handed me my notebook and I thanked her profusely.

"Let me get you a drink. You can tell me how you ended up back here."

"I can't stay. I still have a lot of studying to do tonight. It really was good seeing you though."

She wasn't even going to wait for me to say goodbye.

I didn't even know what I was saying. She had started to turn, and the words just came out. It was me, but it wasn't. "Look Georgia, I owe you an apology. Stay for just ten minutes, please? I know I don't have any right to ask anything of you, but I am. Please?"

It was enough to stop her in her tracks. If I believed in this whole crazy Lilith Etsy shop thing, I'd be raising this as a possible issue with them. I still really don't know where

those

words came from. But they did the trick, regardless of how they came about. It was enough to push me to make my actual apology, one long overdue.

"One drink. I really can't stay longer than that." She was hesitant, but clearly curious.

"More than fair! What can I get you?"

"Red bull and cherry vodka."

"Same old, same old huh?" I smiled, remembering how that tasted on her.

"You're one to talk." She giggled as she nodded at my Scotch. Well, she had me there. I smiled at her as I rushed over to get our drinks. It took them long enough, I was a bit surprised she was still there when I got back.

"Sorry about that. You know how they get." She nodded as she took her drink. She seemed a bit nervous. I guess that was fair, this was really unlike me. "Okay, so let me start by saying I know this is really long overdue." She made an exaggerated expression that tried my resolve. I pushed on, needing to get this off my chest for more than one reason.

"I treated you like shit, and I know that now. And let's be honest, I knew that then, too. I was busy and young and selfish. But that doesn't make how I treated you okay. I know we weren't always perfect, but I have a lot of really happy memories with you. And then I remember how I made you cry that night. When I said you were mistaken, and that I hadn't admitted to having feelings for you. I was lying. And if it helps you at all, it's because I really liked what we had, and I was scared that it was going to change."

Neither of us said anything for a long while. It was clear she was thinking of something to say, but the longer she took the more worried I became.

"Tell me why you never introduced me to anyone from your grad school cohort."

"I.... What? I must have—"

"No. You only ever introduced me to your stoner friends. You even lied to me about not going to the tulip festival and then went with your grad school friends instead. I put on my big girl pants and went by myself. I saw you there. I thought about confronting you but didn't want to be that crazy bitch crying in the middle of everything asking why I wasn't good enough for you."

"Georgia...fuck. I am so sorry!"

"So? Why didn't you ever introduce me to any of them?"

The honest answer was I wanted to fuck one of them. That'd never happen if they met Georgia because they'd ask about

us

and figure out what we were to one another. I couldn't tell her that though, right? But she probably already knew. For as naïve as she was, she had a knack for knowing shit like that. It was downright eerie at times. One reason why I know she'll make a fantastic lawyer.

"I wanted to fuck one of them." It came out before I knew what was happening. Even if I was going to be honest, which I still hadn't decided on yet, I would

never

have been that blunt about it.

She looked at me, appropriately stunned with her mouth slightly open. "I think that's the first time you've ever really been honest with me." After a very long pause she shot the rest of her drink and then looked back at me. "Thank you, David. Really, it's nice to know you're not that same asshole."

Fuck me. Was all this just...was I fucking with her again? Would I be making another apology in a couple of years for being...well, honest I guess, this time around. It seemed to really matter to her, so I figured I'd try to keep up with being that level of straight forward. Even if it did turn her off of me.

"Hey, since you're back in town, let me make it up to you. There's a Halloween party my department is throwing next weekend. Go with me. The people from my cohort that I still talk to will be there, plus all my colleagues. I'll even let you pick our costumes, complete control!"

"I don't need you to prove that you're not embarrassed by me. It took me some time, but I figured out who I was because of you. In a weird way, you being such an asshole made me learn to love myself. And you can't put a price on that."

"So, should I not feel bad then?" She gave me a bit more of a laugh than I deserved. I could tell she was feeling the alcohol. "Can I get you another?" It was the weekend, but I didn't know what her schedule was actually like. Maybe she really did need to study. Not that I wanted to remind her of that.

"Yeah. Fuck it. Why not?"

"That's what I like to hear," I teased as I winked at her. She blushed slightly and I felt an inkling of hope.

We only had those drinks as we caught up with one another. It took too damn long to get back to the actual bar and order more. Besides, neither of us were there to get drunk. She'd come back for law school here. After being waitlisted for the second year in a row she'd accepted elsewhere, only to turn around and drive twelve hours back, making it just in time for classes. She was happy that she did though. "Much better school really," she kept saying, "just not great timing. I still can't believe they called so last minute like that." Part of me wondered if there was more to it, but I sure as shit wasn't about to ask.

The place got to be too crowded and raucous. We decided to call it a night and she stood beside me as I waited to close out my tab. Her fingers brushed mine and didn't move away. I looked over at her, hoping for some kind of sign to know how to proceed. She must have misread my expression because she quickly pulled her hand away and mouthed the word, "Sorry." I wanted to clear up the misunderstanding, but it was so loud this close to the bar I didn't want to make it worse.

I shook my head and leaned in close to her. Basically yelling into her ear I said, "No worries!" She nodded against me. When I pulled back she had the sweetest smile. I can't tell you how badly I wanted to fuck her right there in the bar in front of everyone.

We were still waiting, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. We held one another's gaze for a few minutes before someone bumped her and she stumbled up against me, her body pressed flush with mine. She rested her hands on my chest and took a deep breath in and out, her tits rising and falling hypnotically against me. I put my hands on her hips and held her gently to me.

Through the smooth material I was certain she wasn't wearing anything under them. I ran my hands up and down, just to be sure. She bit the side of her bottom lip when she realized what I was doing. She knew how that look drove me crazy and it emboldened me to continue my exploration. I ran my hands up and down the sides of her ass, cupping her cheeks, excessively checking for a panty line. There was none to be found. I grabbed her ass, digging my fingers in as I pushed myself against her, hoping no one was paying any attention as they scrambled to get closer to the bar. Her breath hitched and I couldn't take it anymore.

I moved to kiss her, and she pulled back slightly. Not much, but enough to stop me. I could see she was thinking over some things. I wanted her in the worst fucking way, but I wasn't going to push her. Now that I'd laid out all the shit I'd done and how I'd treated her, I couldn't add one more thing to that dung pile. I figured I could be honest with her though. I leaned down to yell into her ear again, "I'm sorry. I just want you in the worst fucking way. I didn't mean to push." When I pulled back this time she looked almost incredulous.

She dragged me down to her, kissing me hard and deep. She grabbed at my hair as she moved herself against me. I didn't hesitate, even though I didn't understand it. I pulled her to me as we kissed, pressing my -despite being surrounded by strangers- very hard cock up against her. She moaned into my mouth and then I felt her hand squirm between us and travel south. She started rubbing my cock through my pants in the middle of this crowd as she kept kissing me. I started to wonder if we might actually fuck in the middle of the bar.

One of the bartenders yelled at us. Georgia pulled away but didn't turn around. Her face was a deep crimson as she buried it in my chest. She clearly didn't want to face the guy. As I told him I wanted to close out my tab she spun around on a dime, pressing her ass against my cock, and ordered another Johnnie Walker Black. I knew why and my dick jumped, eliciting a butt wiggle from her against the motion. I was beyond grateful it was so dark in here, and that she was in front of me.

I don't usually slam down my drinks, but I made an exception this time after basically gurgling a mouthful for a second. I finished it and she was on me again. Her tongue exploring my mouth, savoring the mixture of the Scotch and me. The bartender yelled at us again and I hurried her ass out the front door.

The crisp fall air sobered us up pretty quickly. Not that we'd had that much to drink anyway. I was glad for it though. If this was going to happen I needed to make sure she was sober.

Of course she hadn't brought a jacket. "I like the cold! I'm fine!" She said as she shivered and nonchalantly rubbed her arms. It was too cold for that nonsense. I pulled off my sweater and made her put it on. It was a couple sizes too big for her, but she looked so fucking cute as she drowned in the excess material. I kissed her again, but softly this time. Yeah, I still needed to fuck her. But I could also appreciate this moment.