Everything with single quotes is in the character's head, not spoken aloud.
Enjoy!
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This was not the first time that Thayer found himself gagged, restrained, and beaten in the back of a guard carriage. And if his past luck was an indicator of anything, it wouldn't be the last.
'That's the third time in four months, isn't it,' he thought. 'I'm not losing my touch, I hope.'
Only one way to find out. It didn't take much to sit up, bring his bound wrists from behind him down to his feet and back up, so that they were in front of him. However, it would take a good bit of skill to take the special pick out of his shoe and free himself before the carriage arrived at a jail.
Thayer dig into the sole of his shoe with his fingers until he managed to reach the hole in his boot where it was kept. No guard had ever found it, but they always found the generic lock pick that he left sticking out, which made them feel very clever about themselves. A simple diversion
He twirled it around his fingers and inserted the bent metal into the keyhole on his manacles. He felt the carriage take two left turns, then a right. That meant they were getting close. His light brown hair stuck to his face with sweat. He doubled his effort, muttering a prayer to the shadows for luck. Thieves were a lot more superstitious than most people realized. Came with the territory of staying out at night and having your fate up to chance.
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"Pull 'em out, Lester."
'Lester,' he thought. 'Hope you aren't due for a promotion anytime soon.'
The rear door of the carriage opened to the bright midday sun. A silhouetted figure of a guard that was living proof that the physical test to be on the city watch was a complete farce. The man wasn't that portly--in fact, he was of somewhat average build--but Thayer spotted the lack of care in his steps. It would be all too easy to force him off balance.
"Alright, your majesty," sneered the man. "Your humble carriage has arrived at your palace." He pulled the gag out of his mouth, hoping for a retort to use as an excuse to start hitting him.
'I take it all back. I hope you're three days from promotion.'
Thayer spared a glance at the man's hand. A golden ring, with a small diamond.
'And three days from a divorce you don't see coming.'
"Fuck you," he replied. Better to act angry than cocky. Plenty of time for taunting once he made his escape. He grunted as he stood up, and squinted at the light. Look as pathetic as you can. Give people a reason to be haughty, and they'll take it without question. May as well be a law of physics to him.
Lester pulled him out by the hands. Thayer took a quick glance around. Only one other guard off to the side. Busy street. Not even pulled up to the entrance of the jail; merely across the street. This would be easy. He made the split-second decision to enact the first step of his master plan.
He fell right on his face into the mud.
"Ha! Clumsy moron. No wonder you got caught," Lester mocked.
That did anger him. He'd been attempting to lift coins off a wealthy merchant, when said merchant's pet monkey jumped onto his shoulder from a nearby awning and started screeching at him. A fucking monkey. What are the odds that he decides to pickpocket the only merchant in two hundred miles with a pet monkey?
"Get up! You're not going to delay this further." Lester reached down to yank him up by the chain of his manacles.
Right as he pulled upward, Thayer kicked off the ground and shoved him with his shoulder. Lester fell backward, pulling the unlocked manacles off of Thayer's wrists. Quick as the wind, Thayer grabbed his arm and pulled that ring off Lester's finger.
"Ow--hey!! Thief! Stop!"
An odd suggestion. Instead of taking it, Thayer introduced Lester's face to his shoe's secret lockpick cache with a kick, and whirled to face the other guard, who looked as though he was about to dive-tackle Thayer.
'The standards are so low these days,' he thought as he slammed his knee into the man's head as he dove, sending him into the mud along his friend. By now, the townsfolk nearby were looking on. Some were in shock, others laughed, some looked like they were working up the courage to stop Thayer themselves. More watchmen were pouring out from the jailhouse. Time to leave.
Thayer sprinted through a crowded group of onlookers, who barely even realized he was headed toward them before he was past. The midday sun would make it difficult to hide on the streets, so Thayer turned into an alley as soon as he could. He scanned the walls in search of--there! Street marks etched into the bricks left by the poor and other thieves. They told him of an escape route nearby, likely used to break prisoners out quickly. It told him to turn right into the back room of a smithy, one that wouldn't ask questions about what he was doing.
He took that right, and found himself staring right at a freshly made wall. The mark was old.
"Shit," he muttered. The guards couldn't be far behind, and the alley continued into a wide open plaza where they would spot him for sure. If he turned back, they'd spot him again, and he had no idea if there was another way through the alley.
"Erinlay hide my passage," he said under his breath. If there was ever a time he needed luck on his side, then this was it. Thayer stepped into the busy plaza, filled with artisans selling fine goods, farmers selling produce, and guards selling ten year sentences to any escapees they found. He broke line of sight with the alley and began trying to mingle in.
Someone tapped his arm. He jerked to see who it was. A shop patron, holding an amber and emerald pendant to her chest.
"Tell me," she said with an oblivious smile. "Does this match my complexion, or does it clash too much?"
Despite his predicament, Thayer couldn't help but smile. She had no way of knowing that she was talking to someone that currently had a five-hundred glint bounty on his head, nor that she could get in trouble just for speaking to him. 'Innocent thing.'
"It accents it perfectly, and brings out the green in your eyes. I'd love to fall into them, but I'm rather pressed for time," he said with a glance around. He could hear footsteps in the alley he came from.
The woman brushed her deep brown hair behind her right ear. "It's so expensive, though. Maybe I could steal it."
Thayer's turned his eyes back to her. Was she serious? No one else seemed to react to what she said. Even the jeweler, who paid them no mind whatsoever.
"Want to escape?" she asked, not even bothering to lower her voice. She held out the pendant. "Hold onto this. Now."
"I..." Thayer searched for words. The guards were about to round the corner.
'Screw it.' He took the pendant.
The woman grew a wide smile. "For me? Thank you, Cole! I love you so much!" She grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him out of the street and into the shade of the awning of the shop. She tilted her head and took him into a deep kiss.
By far, this was the most ridiculous five minutes of Thayer's life. From escape to botched escape to free jewelry to romance with a woman he had never met in his life.
The guards ran past, not even sparing a glance toward him or the mysterious woman. She kept him in the kiss, though, and he didn't protest. She was his height, dressed in a gown colored black and green, with golden lace. Silken as well, he realized by the texture he felt as he placed his hand against her hip. And...an excellent kisser. Her lips were soft, and each movement was deliberate.
She pulled away, nipping at his bottom lip as she did so. It got a small reaction from him, a short and quick gasp.
"Who...who are you?" he questioned.
The woman smirked. Did she know who he was? Was she a plant from some thief guild, trying to lure him into a trap?
"A good friend of yours," she replied, "but we've never met properly. Not even now. Would you like to? I can offer many opportunities for someone like yourself."
'A trap, then.' She might be trying to plant the pendant on him to frame him.
"Unfortunately, I'll have to decline your offer. You see, I don't work well with others."
She eyed him up and down. She was gorgeous, but he couldn't let that sway his mind. But if he was rude, she may be tempted to call the guards on him again. He had to make her think he could be persuaded.
"Well," she replied. "I'll check in again tonight to see if you changed your mind."
'What?'
He moved aside, and stuck his head past the awning to search the street for any watchers. A guild would have people keeping an eye on their agent in plays like this. No one seemed suspicious, for the moment at least.
"Look," he said, turning back toward her. "If you--"
He froze. She was gone.
'What in the seven saints is going on today.'
He felt something cool in his hand. The pendant. She was framing him, for sure. He held it out toward the jeweler. "Here. Sorry about...whatever that was."
The man looked up from his work at him, and the pendant. "You looking to sell that or something?"
"Wh--no. Isn't it yours?"
The man raised an eyebrow. "I don't make pieces like that. I will buy it, though, if you're offering."
"I...sure."
The jeweler took the pendant, and used a lens to study it. He whistled.
"Fine quality. Real emeralds I can give you two thousand glints."
Thayer barely kept himself from gawking. Two thousand? That was more than he would make in an entire year. That was enough to set himself up as a crew leader with his own hideout.
...His own hideout.
"I'll need some time to consider," he replied, and held his hand out.