La Petite Mort

Author's note.

This is a slightly slower burn than my usual offerings. The story revolves around a recently deceased couple as they come to terms with being dead and the difficulties of possessing the living to get your sexual kicks. The story explores both heterosexual and homosexual themes as well as philosophical and religious concepts in a manner some may find offensive.

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Jenna and Daniel were unremarkable. He pulled a wage on a production line at a car plant and she worked as a sales assistant in a department store. Neither turned heads on the street but they were happy together and all looked well as they muddled their way through life together.

It was a Friday evening, Daniel had just picked Jenna up from work were heading to her parents at the coast. It was over an hour away through twisting roads but one he knew well and it gave them time to chat as the hills and woods flew by.

"Weather looks good for the weekend, might get a tan," said Daniel as he flipped the sun visor down.

"Sunburned you mean. You've only got two colours, milk bottle white and tomato red."

"It turns brown once it peels off."

"Men. You never learn."

"But you love my sexy bronzed body."

"Not shedding all over my sheets I don't."

A few miles ahead, a tractor was slowly making it's way along the road accompanied by a convey of frustrated drivers all wishing the farmer would pull over. Occasionally the following car would see an opportunity, hit the gas, and over take. Eventually it was Robs turn. He was in his 60s, what most would consider safe driver and not a risk taker. The road looked clear, nice downhill slope, "perfect," he thought as he accelerated and pulled out.

Suddenly out of a blind dip in the distance emerged a small grey kia picanto. Rob was side by side by the tractor with no where to go and with only one option, floor the peddle and over take as quick as possible. The gap was narrowing, he prayed the other car would brake as he pushed the accelerator hard.

Daniel had seen him but only at the last moment, another car up his backside prevented him from slamming on the brakes. He pulled to the side scraping the verge but it was to no avail. Headlights shattered and metal crunched as bumper to bumper they collided with an almighty bang and all went black."

Light returned and they found themselves lying against a drystone wall in a grassy meadow as if on a picnic. Their car, the tractor, the other driver nowhere to be seen and in the far distance flashing blue lights lit up the hedgerows. Neither could remember anything bar a few seconds of panic, no collision, nothing.

Jenna look OK, a bit shaken, but physically OK, "Where are we?" She asked, "What happened."

"You alright? I don't know. Has someone brought us here? I can't see anyone."

"I can't feel anything, must be on strong painkillers, why we not in a hospital or an ambulance, why we here?"

Suddenly a thick west country accent called out from behind them, "Because you're dead, that's why."

They both spun round to see an elderly farmer, "I got kicked on the head by my favourite horse right over there back in 1879. I like to pop every now and then for old times sake, see how the old farms doing. Nice lad who's got it now, he's doing well. Shame his missus is a miserable that though."

"I'm sorry did you just say dead?" Asked Daniel. "Where are we?"

"Well this is Oakridge Farm, the bottom meadow to be precise. And those blue lights over there, well that's where your bodies are."

"That's not funny," snapped Jenna.

"Can't feel anything can you? Go ahead pick one of those daisies."

Jenna reached out to grab one, but her fingers slipped through without so much as ruffling a petal. She panicked, snatching at others but each time was like grasping at smoke. Daniel followed suit, attempting to disprove the old man and failing miserably. Simultaneously they both reached out to each other, their hands passed through each other like beams from a flashlight without so much as a tickle.

Reality sunk in. Neither of them were religious, they both believed that when your time cane that was it, no Heaven or Hell and definitely no such thing as ghosts. Now they didn't know what to believe and Jenna broke down in tears.

"Always hard at first. I spent my whole life a good faithful Christian and in the end it's all bollocks. No Heaven, no god, no Hell."

"So where are all the dead people?" Asked Daniel.

"Well you just go where you please. Want to vist America, just walk across the sea. North Pole? Just keep going that way. Of course you can just cross over to the other side."

Other side? I thought you said there wasn't a Heaven."

"No fluffy clouds or lakes of fire. More like a flat sandy desert that goes on forever. Peaceful in a way but there's nothing like popping back here."

"I don't want to be dead," sobbed Jenna as reality sunk in, "I'm only 25 it's not my time."

"It's not fair, I know," replied the farmer, "but it is what it is. Always hard at first but you'll learn being dead isn't that bad."

"Where do we go? Do we get to meet up with people we've lost?" Asked Daniel.

"Not exactly a register book of who's died I'm afraid. Unless they were in the car with you they probably don't know you're dead. Where were you heading?"

"My parents."

"Possible a grandparent hangs around there, they often do. When the sad news reaches your parents there's a good chance they'll be there."

Daniel was hopeful but feared the farmer was just being kind, "This sandy place, are we supposed to go there?"

"No rule about it but it does ease the burden to be among the dead. We've all been through it and there's no shortage of support. Now what you have to do is go to the light."

"Like in poltergeist?" Asked Daniel

"Any light will do, big or small. A single candle will do as well as a floodlight. Just avoid traffic lights."

"Does it affect them?"

"No but the green light gives you a bit of a headache. Come on the farmhouse is this way, plenty of light there."

Not a blade of grass bent nor cobweb broke as they crossed the meadow. Daniel took Jenna by the hand as best he could, they merged like two holograms offering no sensation of comfort except the intention. The summer breeze rustled the long grass yet passed through them unfelt as did the suns warmth.

"Odd isn't it?" Said the farmer, "You can see the flowers sway in the wind, but you can't smell them, or touch them. You can walk through any obstacle, wall, tree, rock, fire...but you never sink into the ground. Baffles everyone it does, drives the scientists nuts it does."

They crossed over the farm yard disturbing neither the chickens or children playing. It felt wrong just walking into a strangers house but in a way it was still the Farmer's.

"Funny thing is you can walk through a castles solid stone wall but we always feel we need to use a door. Old habits die hard I guess, some won't even go through a closed door."

Luckily the front door was half open, Jenna was relieved, walking through walls would be too much to take today. Even as she entered she turned her body to slip through the gap. It was just as she'd imagined a farmhouse to look like, stone floors with rugs, a dog napping front of an unlit fire, cups hanging by the window. A middle age couple sat at a wooden table as he drank his 12th cup of tea of the day while typing on a laptop.

"That glowing book thing will do," said the farmer, "Just touch it and nature will take it's course." With that he pushed his hand into the screen and in a flash was drawn inside.

Jenna and Daniel looked at each other, the farmer"s whole body had compressed and distorted into a swirl as he was sucked inside. It felt like being asked to step into a blender.

"I'll go first," said Daniel. Nervously he reached out his hand and as it neared the screen he felt a slight tickle, "feels ok, kind of fluffy..." Then he vanished.

Jenna stood alone. She wanted to be with Daniel, but still feared where it really led and losing the chance to see her parents one last time. Shaking she stretched out her hand and was hit with pulsating lights followed by a brief indescribable sensation, the only thing she had felt since death. A second later her fears were allayed by the sight of Daniel and the farmer waiting for her.

"Just be certain to use the same light if you're travelling together or you could end up miles apart," advised the farmer.

They glanced around, it was as the farmer said, countless people wandering about a flat sandy featureless desert. Yet despite no structure everything seemed naturally organised. People flowed in the same direction, groups stood chatting, or lounged on the ground like they were at the beach.

"How do you find your way around?" Asked Daniel.

The farmer point up at the sky that swirled and and danced like oil on the surface of water changing colours as ripples collided. "You heard the expression 'motion of the ocean'? Back in the day sailors would navigate by feeling how their ship moved up and down in different waters and how the wave pattern changed from place to place. That wavy sky looks random but you get to know how to read it, spot the patterns that point the way."

"Way to what exactly?" Asked Jenna.

"Well if I walk that way towards that swirling bit that looks like a fried egg I know I'll find the wife gossiping with the bakers wife about my muddy boots or something. There's nothing here and it's all the same but we've all got our own spots we like to be."

Jenna looked around hoping desperately to see a familiar face. Everyone seemed calm with a sense of belonging, but they were still strangers.

"See that bit that looks like red and blue mackerel skin. On the left it looks like a cross. People feel the need to head that way, guess it's a religious thing. Anyway those waiting for new arrivals know this and hang around there in hope."

Jenna and Daniel thanked him and slowly walked towards the cross, "You think he's just trying to get rid of us? Asked Jenna.

"Nah, he's been helpful so far. Know it's hard but at least were kinda alive."

"Wish we had changed clothes first, I wonder why we're not naked."

Daniel didn't have an answer, "Least you're not spending eternity peeling my sunburned skin off."

"People must be devastated back home."

"I know," sighed Daniel.

"What did I tell you about buying grey cars?" Boomed a voice, "Bloody death traps they are. Roads grey, cars grey, virtually invisible."

Jenna recognised the voice, it was her grandfather who had passed away at 86 a few years ago. He stood in his old torn coffee stained bath robe. She ran towards him for a hug but stopped at the last second.

"You're standing up." She blurted out.

"No bloody chairs that's why. Die in your robe and it comes with you, die in a chair, no such luck. Your granny was snooping on your mother that's how we heard the news."

"Is she here too?"

"Where else would she bloody be?"

"Are my parents alright?"

"As well as could be hoped, it'll take time but they'll cope. We all do."

"Can I visit them?"

"It's best to wait a while, it's not easy crossing over and it doesn't help, trust me on that."

Time passed, and Jenna and Daniel came to accept their fate. The other side was much like Earth bar the lack of physical features and plant life. Time was spent mostly in conversation or watching the wonders of nature reenact their living pursuits as if unaware of death. Ghosts of swallows snatched at ghost flies to satisfy non-existent appetites above the heads of reunited families as they discussed their recent visits to earth.

"There's one good thing about being dead they don't tell you in church," said Jenna's grandfather, Herbert, "The sex is better than on Earth. Once you get used to it, that is."

"That's only because you weren't able to get it up for the last 30 years," replied his wife.

Jenna had never heard her grandparents mention sex when they were alive, "Doesn't look much privacy around here. Besides, we can't even hold hands here."

"Who said anything about here? You've got to go back to Earth for that kind of thing," replied Herbert.

Jenna's grandmother, Betty butted in, "Possession dear, if you want to feel anything, you have to possess the living. Not just sex, any physical sensation. It's just that sex is the only way to escape from their bodies after you go inside."

"Possession is real?" Asked Daniel.

"Very real dear, chances are you've been possessed at least once. It's quite a popular pass time, as you might imagine. You might want to have a word with Crispin, Herbert can arrange a meeting if you want."

"Anything you want to know about possession, just ask Crispin," added Herbert, "You might find him easier to talk to about sex than us."

Jenna's grandparents took them on a long walk, and life on the other side involved a lot of long walks. Eventually, they came across a man standing alone gazing across a small herd of dinosaurs. Herbert approached him alone and, after a few minutes, beckoned them over.

"The name is Crispin de Coquatrix, I will be your guide on the matter of carnal possession," he spoke with a thick French accent, but otherwise his English was very good.

Judging by his attire, he had been dead quite a while, medieval Jenna guessed, but she was no expert. he just knew it from movies and stuff. Not quite nobility, but it was clear he could once afford the better cloth. Jenna assumed, quite rightly, that being dead for so long, he had plenty of time to master other languages.

"Carnal possession? Is that different from normal possession?" Asked Daniel, "You know, like off the Exorcist?"

"Exorcist, Exorcist, Exorcist, every time the Exorcist. NO, it is not like in the movies. FIRSTLY, there is no normal possession, all possession is carnal."

Daniel wondered why not just call it possession then, but thought best not to ask, "So it's just a sex thing then."

"YES. Possession is done for one reason only to fulfil your carnal desires. I'm sure by now you've both noticed an inability to touch anything, even each other."

They both nodded, "It's quite frustrating."

"After centuries, it becomes more than frustrating. That is why we have carnal possession. NOW, forget any notion you may have of controlling your posessee. You can not make them speak, dance, spin their heads, nothing like that."

"So what can we do?" Asked Jenna.

"NOTHING. Nothing at all. You will feel what they physically feel, but it is simply impossible to direct their movements or use their voice. If they are stung by a bee, you will feel it. If they eat a strawberry, you will taste it. When they have sex you will enjoy it. BUT, no matter how hard you try you can not control anything."

"So we are like passagers on a train unable to change destination nor speak to the driver?" Asked Jenna.

"There is another thing, the most important thing. You will remain trapped inside their bodies until they either orgasm or die, whichever comes sooner."

"There's as a rumour going around that some women don't get that pleasure," said Daniel."

"There's quite a few souls overdue their return, so be warned."

"So I can jump into her body and him into his, and it's like we're having sex with each other?"

"In a way, but without the control, and it won't physically feel like each other. If the gentleman possessed is more generously blessed, you will feel the difference."

"And how do we find people to possess? Are there any rules?" Asked Daniel.

"There are no rules bar the misfortune of entrapment. As to find them, you are ghosts and no longer restricted by walls and doors. Watch, listen, observe, then possess. Just push both arms inside them, and you'll be drawn inside."

"When you say put your arms inside them.." said Daniel.

"Just push on the chest or back. But remember, once on board, there's no departing until climactic energy expels you."

"Silly question, but where exactly are we expelled?"

"Relax, you are simply shook out like water off a wet dogs back."

"Do people know they're possessed? Ask Jenna.

"They are blissfully unaware. They feel neither the weight of your spirit nor it's troubles or desires. You are no more burden than a fruitfly upon an elephant."

"And we can go in anyone, anyone at all?"

"Young or old, virgin or whore, pauper or royalty, nor are you restricted to your own sex."

"So I could jump into a mans body? Experience it from his perspective?"

"If you so wish. BUT, no multiple possessions. If the host is already possessed then you won't be able to enter. Be warned if you are looking to enter the body of a famous moviestar then more often than not they're taken. Start simple until you get a handle on it."

"I'd have thought there would be more moral judgement about this sort of thing," said Daniel.

"Morals are for the living. With neither Heaven to reward us nor Hell to punishment us we are unrestricted by all bit our own self judgement."

"Can we enter the living at any time or just before sex," enquired Daniel, "To enjoy the taste of food for example."

"But of course, but never forget only an orgasm will set you free."

"We know how to get back here but how do we cross over that way?"

"The sands of time," answered Crispin, pointing to the ground, "Haven't you noticed it's the only thing here you can touch? Draw a line in the sand, think of a destination then step over it."

Neither of them could believe it, it sounded so corny but nothing else made sense either. Jenna knelt down and drew a line, "Where shall we go?"

"Best play safe, let's go home."

Concentrating hard on their old house they stepped forward into their old garden. A for sale sign stood by the door and the once manicured grass stood knee high. It felt like returning home after a long trip abroad. Instinctively they walked to the door, held non existent breath and stepped through. All was empty, traces of their life erased bar one lampshade hanging from the ceiling.

"Come on," said Daniel, "It's time to let go."

They wandered through their old town, browsing in shop windows as they once did until they saw a young couple walking hand in hand. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" Asked Daniel.

"Yes, but it feels wrong invading their privacy."

"I don't think I can do eternity touching nothing but sand. Besides they won't know."

"What if they don't do it? We'll be stuck. Might be one of those couples that waits til marriage."

"True, and he doesn't look the type who could finish the job. I wouldn't want to lose you. Best we play safe."

"Tracy and Jason? they've been together a while. Usually means a guy can perform. Least if we get stuck we'll be together and they've got a nice home."

"Didn't you once tell me you heard Jason was hung like a donkey?"

"I can't remember that."

Tracy and Jason had recently moved in together. A decent looking couple and although not proper friends with Jenna and Daniel they were social enough when paths crossed. Their home was a simple terraced house no different to the dozens of others on the street. Jenna and Daniel stood outside a while contemplating if it was the right thing to do.

"Fuck it come on, "said Daniel, "we've been through enough, we deserve this."

With that Jenna followed him as he glided through the door. Even though they knew they couldn't be heard they moved silently towards the lounge. There they sat cuddled up together watching TV, blissfully unaware of the two ghosts just feet away.

"Just push your arms in," that's what Crispin said right, said Jenna nervously. She stretched out her arms towards Tracy's shoulders and bent over.

Tracy stared straight through her at the TV screen oblivious to Jenna's apprehension as her hands slowly disappeared into her. Suddenly, Jenna felt the beating heat and expanding lungs and in a flash felt herself being inhaled. Inside it was akin to getting dressed by your parents in the dark, tugging, pulling, and twisting until all fitted.