Amelia:
The air surrounding her was solid. Perhaps she could swim through it. No avail, whatever was holding her down needed to be moved. Perhaps she could grab and pull it off of her. Amelia reached out to grab nothing and took hold. It was heavy, or was it just stuck in place? No, her obstacle was being difficult on purpose. It didn't want to move, so rather than force it, she tried persuasion. She curled her fingers, and teased it out gently, until it trusted her timid touch.
Now you're mine!
She ripped it out of its confines, and reveled in the small victory. But there were others. Hundreds, all around her. They were chaotic, obnoxious. They needed to be put in their place. She found another. It was invisible, but she knew it was there. She teased this one out too with a more practiced touch. Once again it fell into her farce. She yanked it free.
Hah! Now you're mine as well.
A collection of precious baubles were hers. She coveted her little treasury, but she was tired now. They sought to be free of her will, and Amelia lacked the first notion of what to do with them. So she played. She ran them along her skin and tested their resistance to her grip. She let them free and saw how far they got before she trapped them again.
She squeezed them to test her strength. They squirmed, but her curiosity must be satiated. With enough force they popped with no sound or protest: just a satisfying release of energy.
"An infant learns to destroy before it can be taught to build."
There was that voice again. So familiar, so warm. Her body was cold and the voice could warm her. Amelia realized her eyes were closed. Was she sleeping? No, the voice was there, but in another world than her baubles. She would have to remember how to open her eyes to find it.
"Wake up, come back to me."
Amelia needed to find the speaker. It commanded her and she had never been more sure that she needed to awaken. She opened her eyes, but soon realized they were not open. She was stuck in a dream she couldn't awake from. Trapped in a claustrophobic loop that was quickly shrinking. She began to panic.
"Taste the air. Breath it."
Amelia had never even considered her breathing. What an odd sensation, the realization that your body is doing things you can control without your permission. She took back ownership of her own breathing and became distraught at how light her breaths were. She breathed deep. The air tasted so sweet. She lost sight of the baubles, but in return found her fingers lying at her side.
What had I been reaching with?
She awoke then. Sensation and feeling hit her all at once. Cold stone on her back. Soft fabric on her chest. This was the real world, and perhaps the most important thing was right at her side. She opened her eyes and found it.
Kono....
Amelia sat numbly at the edge of the shrine. She had a bowl in her trembling hands and was eating something out of it. The taste was there as usual: mushrooms and salt pork, but there was a lag to it. LIke each time she took a bite she only remembered the taste as a distant memory. She saw the baubles out of the corners of her eyes. She longed to feel that energy and pop them again, but the thought of returning to that place made her sick to her stomach.
Amelia watched as Kono fiddled with her gear. The drow was wearing her lighter armor again, and was inspecting the warped blade of her scimitar. Amelia found it difficult to look away from her. Every time she looked down at her food it was like the bright sun was irritating her eyes. Returning her view to Kono felt like relaxing under a shaded tree.
This must be the drow magic at play. At least I'm still sentient of what's going on.
Kono tossed the scimitar into the dirt with a sigh, and turned back to look at Amelia. The acknowledgement gave the girl a slight surge of satisfaction.
Strange... I know it's magic, but that doesn't make it feel any less real. Or maybe this is just what love feels like. I probably would have reacted the same way if she looked at me yesterday too.
"How do you feel Amelia?"
Amelia answered the question quickly with barely enough time to think her words over. "I think I'm in love with you. Or something. It's hard to tell." Amelia blushed.
Did I just say that?
Kono sighed and offered her a reassuring smile. "Love is an instinct just like any other emotion the mind uses to trick itself."
Amelia shook her head. "It's not the love thing I'm worried about. I expected and accepted that. It's my magic that I'm finding difficult to parse."
Kono nodded and Amelia was starting to find it easier to regain her composure.
"When I woke up, I felt like I was somewhere else. Like I was in between awake and sleep, like a fever dream."
"When you interact with mana you have to transport your consciousness to another place."
So that's why Kono and that other drow seemed to slip into meditation when they cast spells.
Amelia became curious. "When I was still half asleep, you said something to me, something about infants and destruction."
Kono turned back to her work.
She's moving like she's worried about something. Why is she in such a hurry?
Finally the drow spoke. "It takes most mages months to get to the point where they can interact with mana, and there you were manipulating it like a curious child. You were pulling threads at random and it was only a matter of time before you did something... self destructive."
Amelia could sense worry in Kono's voice, but couldn't help but feel immense satisfaction with herself and her new power. "It felt like I was coaxing little worms out of their holes, and then popping them! What were they?"
Kono stood up and tossed Amelia her shirt. Amelia caught it with a bit of surprise; she'd forgotten she was still in that transparent dress.
"All things are connected by tiny particles so small you can't see them, even through the finest of lenses. Mages call it the weave. To use magic is to manipulate those connections and twist the weave to fit your purpose."
"Are we made up of these particles too?"
"Yes, but every living thing possesses a soul. Women can give birth and create souls, or give up that ability to instead thread the weave with their own souls."
"So my soul protects me from pulling away at my own weave?"
"No, it protects you from others. Only your choices can protect you from yourself."
Amelia gulped. "And the colors?"
"You seemed to catch on quickly enough. Every thread has a color, but there is no black thread. Black mana doesn't weave magic willingly, it coaxes, coerces, and twists the threads into place."
How fitting for a drow.
Amelia set to work putting on her clothes. She kept the dress on underneath... It was quite comfortable after all. Kono was already packed up and ready to go.
"Where are we going?"
"North, to Ridgecross."
Ridgecross? Why aren't we heading home? Do I even have a home anymore? Am I even Amelia anymore? I feel no urgency at all to return to the people I knew. It's weirdly... freeing. I can focus all of my energy on one thing: whatever Kono wants.
As they exited the grotto, Amelia took note of all the work Kono had done while she was asleep. The enemy drow's body was completely absent, and every goblin along the way was missing an ear. Amelia made sure to retrieve her treasure from earlier, but Kono wouldn't allow her to take any of the books; those the drow kept for herself.
So be it, she knows better than I do.
There was a strange mood in the air as they carefully stepped over the traps and exited the tunnel. Amelia felt like Kono was distressed about something, and that made her distressed as well. This whole love and empathy thing was proving to be quite frustrating when dealing with someone as stoic as Kono. Amelia was getting fed up.
"Ok, can you tell me what's happening? Being a slave to your will and all is quite difficult when you don't tell me what your will
is
."
Kono stopped. Amelia was relieved; it was much more difficult to keep up with her when she wasn't all plated up.
"Ridgecross is a trade hub for goods headed north. Conveniently, the dwarven trade company Sonne And Sons passes through every third full moon. Tomorrow is one such moon."
"Why are we traveling north?"
"I'm not traveling, you are."
"Wait, what? Why?" Amelia felt a sudden pang of panic. The prospect of leaving Kono was already scary enough. But going on her own? So suddenly?
Kono looked deep into Amelia's eyes. Her red hue was so comforting, but in this moment there was a commanding presence that Amelia could not resist.
"I won't be your mentor, I won't be your master, and I certainly won't be your mother. You're going to learn how to control your power without relying on me."
"I don't understand... how will I do that?"
"Far to the north in the great forests of the high elves there's a college unknown by most where magic is taught freely and all who show promise are allowed to study, even those "blessed" with black mana. There's a drow that teaches there, Telaneya. Go there and tell her Kono sent you, she'll know just by looking at you that you belong to me."
"Why her?"
Kono shrugged. "She owes me a "saved your life once" sized favor. That and your bag of emeralds should be enough to get you in."
"And after that?"
"Follow your dreams. Become the best mage you can. When I come for you, and I will come for you, I expect to be met by a mage worthy of your talents."
With this command, Amelia suddenly felt free. She had one singular purpose: gain power. Anything else, any doubts or insecurities, were completely obsolete. There was only Kono's will and Amelia's ability to fulfill it.
So there are benefits to submission.
"As for your stay in Ridgecross, you'll need these." Kono handed Amelia a small pouch of coins. She held them with reverence. "There's two gold pieces and a few silver in there. The gold will get you a seat on the caravan, the silver will buy you a room in town. There's three inns in Ridgecross: two dumps and one overpriced dump. Go to the overpriced one, you won't be bothered there."
Amelia appreciated the instruction.