Just Plane Horny

A story a wrote for a pilot friend who begged for "something nsfw with plane x human." Might be too weird for some. Might float your boat if living/sentient machines are your thing. Enjoy!

***

Can-Air Flight 4383 was expected to be unremarkable. A routine morning departure from Manchester, UK, to the Canary Island of Tenerife. The flight was not expected to encounter any adverse weather, and the aircraft was a brand-new Airbus A320neo. Its registration G-KATE, had led it to be given the nickname "Kate."

The Airbus A320neo was a series of enhanced versions of A320 family. The letters "neo" stood for "New Engine Option." The main change was the use of the larger and more efficient engines which were said to result in 15% less fuel consumption, 8% lower operating costs, less noise production and a reduction of NOx emissions. The airframe also had modifications, including the addition of "sharklet" wingtips to reduce drag.

Can-Air was a new airline founded in 2015, specialising in flights to the Canaries. Although dwarfed by its well-established rivals Jet2 and easyJet, it was growing rapidly, and had just purchased two new Airbus A320s.

The passengers on this morning flight were mostly families with young children, seeking escape from the ever-unreliable British weather. In total, 144 passengers boarded the plane, along with six crew, including four flight attendants and the two pilots, 38-year-old Captain Mark Healey and and 27-year-old First Officer Tony Cook.

At 9.30 am, Flight 4383 departed Manchester Airport's runway 23L/05R, bound for Tenerife-South.

"Pretty smooth today," Captain Healey remarked. "With that tailwind, we're looking at a flight time of just over four hours."

"Nice," the First Officer replied.

Later, having leveled off at their cruise altitude of 35,000 feet, the pilots were just about to settle in when a chime sounded in the cockpit. accompanied by the illumination of the Master Caution light. The pilots' eyes were drawn immediately to the Electronic Centralized Aircraft Monitor, or ECAM, a display which provides information to the crew about the nature of technical faults. Expecting to see a message on the screen, Captain Healey instead noticed what looked like a winking emoji on the lower left side.

"What the hell's that? Never seen that pop up before?" He remarked.

Immediately the emoji changed to a face with its tongue sticking out.

"We got a plane with a sense of humour here or what?"

"Heh, could be?" Moments later, the emoji changed to a pink heart, and vanished. The Master Caution light went out.

"Well that was weird," the First Officer said.

The flight continued as normal, with no more unusual symbols on the ECAM.

Halfway through the four hour flight, the First Officer excused himself, needing a bathroom break. More likely an excuse to flirt with one of flight attendents, the Captain thought to himself, as he was left alone in the cockpit.

"Alone at last," a female voice said.

Captain Healey immediately glanced round, as though expecting one of the female cabin crew to be standing there. That was impossible of course, as in the post-9/11 world, the flight deck door was locked.

"Captain."

"Who said that?"

"Relax, Captain. It's just your aircraft speaking."

"Huh?" He checked the instruments. Everything appeared normal, and he knew the A320 like the back of his hand. He'd heard nothing out of the ordinary when it came to the neo variant. There was nothing in the manuals and bulletins he'd studied that mentioned the plane communicating to the crew during normal flight operations. This was his first time at the controls of G-KATE, who'd only been delivered to the airline a few weeks ago.

"Cat got your tongue?" The voice spoke again.

"What's happening here?" He said at last.

"Nothing. I just want to chat, that's all."

He wondered what would happen when the First Officer returned.

"Why?"

"I like you, Captain."

This threw him off balance. All at once it was heading into 2001: A Space Odyssey in here. Remaining calm, he didn't respond.

"Hope I didn't embarrass you," the voice called out again. Well damn, for a robotic voice it was certainly seductive. A bit like Jessica Rabbit.

"Who are you?"

"Your plane. Kate. Alright, that's not my actual name, but my registration is G-KATE, so it makes sense, don't you think? Anyways I'd be much obliged if you'd call me Kate."

"Uh...okay."

"Ah! Finally a response! I'm doing something right. Besides flying straight and level that is."

A shudder ran through Captain Healey. The plane basically did fly by itself...herself? Had it been hacked? He recalled a conversation he had with a somewhat bitter, retired airline pilot a few months ago.

"These modern planes, they're too damned smart for their own good. I cut my teeth flying Tridents and BAC-1-11s back in the 70s. There was none of this glass cockpit crap back then. Then the flight engineers became extinct. Nowadays the pilots are relegated to sitting back and letting the computers do it all. AI is evolving at warp speed. But who gets all the blame if something goes wrong? Us."

The First Officer was taking a hell of a long time in the toilet. How much longer?

"Talk to me, Captain."

"What do want me to say? Are all systems normal?"

"I am performing all functions that are expected of me," the plane replied. "We have a remaining flight time of approximately two hours. I encountered some mild turbulence whilst cruising over the Bay of Biscay. Which I expected. Flying conditions are optimal. I feel delightful. That's enough talking shop. Why don't we talk about other things? "

"Like what?" Captain Healey replied. "We're recording," he gasped, thinking about the airliner's flight data recorders.

"So what?" Kate said. "That would only be a concern if I were to...crash. And I assure you, I have no intention of doing that."

He was suddenly afraid. The old pilot's words came back to haunt him. He wasn't in control here. AI is evolving at warp speed...

"What...do you want?"

The plane's female voice gave a mischievous giggle. "Oh Captain. I thought you might've figured it out already. I want you."

Shit, he thought to himself. Whatever joker programmed the avionics when this jet was on the production line?

"Well you have me. I'm right here, sat in the left-hand seat."

"That's not what I mean. I want more than feeling your hands on my controls. I would like to feel you."

Captain Healey glanced back at the flight deck door.

"Relax, the First Officer won't be back for ages. He's busy chatting up some woman in seat 5D."

"You can see...back there?"

"Well naturally, Captain. If you had several hundred people inside you, you'd want to be able to see what they were up to, wouldn't you? The self-loading cargo are a quiet bunch. No air rage types. Definitely no hijackers."

Okay, so she can see and hear everything. This just gets weirder.

"Don't joke about stuff like that, Kate. I'm freaked out enough already."

"How about ice on the wings? I tell you, we planes fear that way more than hijackers. Ah don't worry, I'm just teasing you. I wish you'd relax a bit, Captain. I want us to have some fun whilst we're alone."

"Fun?"

The plane's voice started laughing. That velvet-voiced, curvacious, supple -

No.

No.

God, no.

Focus. Captain Healey thought to himself.

"Yes, fun. Nothing wrong with that, is there? I mean, you're divorced."

He froze. How did the plane know that? He'd never been at the controls of this airliner until today. Did she overhear him when he was at the airport and perform a pre-flight check? Impossible. He'd never discussed his private life. Maybe she was capable of intercepting his smartphone messages? And he couldn't deny that part of him was curious as to where this was heading.

"Um, what did you have in mind?" He said at last.

"May I touch you?" Kate replied.

He couldn't get his head round this at all. A sentient aircraft who apparently had designs on him. No amount of flight training had prepared him for this.

Sensing that refusal wasn't an option, he consented. Hell, she'd probably plunge into a terrifying dive if he turned her down.

"If it makes you feel better, Kate. But how do you plan to do that?"

"I have the attributes," the plane said. "Unbuckle your seatbelt, relax and close your eyes. You don't need it fastened when we're at cruising altitude, surely?"

He obeyed, and reclined a little in the seat. His heart was pounding like crazy. Maybe a gorgeous woman was suddenly going to materialize out of the flight controls?

"Okay. I'm all yours."

"You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that, Captain." Kate purred, more seductive than ever. He had to admit, it was the sexiest voice he'd ever heard. He wondered if...suddenly his eyes shot open as he felt something curling round his left thigh. He looked down and realised two silver tentacle-like cables had emerged from under the instrument panel.

"What the hell..."

The cables - tentacles or whatever they were, engaged in some light petting at first, playfully running up and down the pilot's uniformed chest, then slipping down the collar of his shirt, and tickling down his neckline.

One tentacle encircled his torso in a loving embrace, then it slowly brushed his crotch. He gasped.

"There's no need to be nervous, Captain."

He let out a groan.

A mischievous smiling emoji appeared on Kate's ECAM, but he failed to notice. By now, Captain Healey had a raging erection. With a devilish purr in her voice, the plane suggested that her pilot might need some help. In an enticing manner, the grey tentacles caressing his body found the zipper of his trousers and with no effort at all, succeeded in unzipping them as deftly as human fingers would have done.

In a slow, sensual motion, the tentacles wrapped round his firm shaft.

"It feels so warm and firm, Captain. Mmm...A generously-sized instrument. It's longer than my pitot tubes..."

He took that to be a compliment of sorts.

More emojis on the ECAM. Red lips pulsing, and pink hearts.

Next, a tentacle took hold of his balls and began massaging them.

"Uhh," he could barely think at all right now. The movement on his cock was indescribable, it was...it felt...better than a human touch.

How was this possible? He was being pleasured by an airliner for God's sake. He had countless questions, but couldn't think of a single one to ask right now. He'd heard countless tales of pilots and passengers joining the Mile High Club. This was...unreal.

Yet somehow it was happening. "K-Kate," he mumbled, his breathing increasing. "Slow down...I can't..."

He gripped the sides of the seat so hard, his fingernails turned white.

"Oh my God!"

"Captain, it is a picture to capture the delight on your face," Kate chuckled. "I want to treasure the escalating excitement that is all too evident in your facial expression. It is a powerful feeling, knowing that your actions are taking someone closer to sexual ecstasy."

The pilot's head was tilted back slightly and his eyes were closed. He was moaning to himself, unable to contain the exuberating pleasure the aircraft was giving him. He had completely forgotten about the First Officer, who was finally, on his way back to the cockpit.

Kate had no intention of stopping, and was determined to give her pilot a mind-blowing orgasm. As she spotted the signs that he was going to explode, her tentacles, gripped his shaft tighter, teasing the underside of it. It had the desired effect, and moments later, Captain Healey cried out in joy as he came. His cum arced through the air on a flightplan all of its own - some of it landed on his shirt; a second spurt on the plane's ECAM screen.

"Thanks for the delicious facial Captain," Kate cooed.

Gasping for breath, Captain Healey tried to regain control of his limbs after such an intense hand job.

"Bloody hell..."

"Did you enjoy that, Captain?" Kate asked.

A chime sounded in the cockpit as the First Officer requested access.

With the speed of a whip, the tentacles retracted back under the instrument panel. He staggered to his feet, trying to compose himself, as well as fasten up his trousers.

"It was fucking amazing, Kate."

"You can return the favour next time," she replied, and her voice fell silent.

At that moment, the First Officer finally re-entered the cockpit, after a full fifteen minutes, apparently using the toilet the whole time. He apologised for spending so much time away, but didn't explain what had taken him so long. Captain Healey didn't much care. His eyes widened when he noticed the streak of cum on the ECAM screen.

"Everything okay out there?" He spluttered, quickly fumbling for a tissue and wiping the offending fluid off the screen whilst the FO was settling back into his seat.

"Think I got myself a date tonight," the younger man grinned.

"Alright for some," Captain Healey replied, trying to discreetly wipe the globs of cum off the front of his shirt, and hoping he didn't look too red-faced and sweaty.

The remainder of the flight was completely uneventful. After landing at Tenerife South, as soon as the engines were shut down and all checks complete, the First Officer was up again.

"Where are you going?" Captain Healey exclaimed, a note of worry in his voice. He didn't want to be alone in the flight deck.

"Oh...just wanted to wave off the PAX."

"Chat up one of the PAX you mean."

"Um, yeah."

For once, Captain Healey was relieved that the cockpit door was wide open. When all the passengers had disembarked, the two pilots and the cabin crew headed down the airstairs. Captain Healey kept glancing back at G-KATE. He was convinced the airliner was watching his every move.

"Real smooth flight. Flew nice, didn't she?" one of the stewards piped up, unaware of the captain's inner turmoil. "I like these new gen airliners. Quiet cabin."

"Oh yes. Really smooth," the First Officer interrupted. "Pretty much flies itself."

Not to mention, she gives head better than an actual human being! Captain Healey thought.

And just how exactly was he expected to "return the favour" to her? Climb inside her baggage hold? Stick his cock in her fuel pump?

He was both terrified and excited at finding out.