This story was originally published by me on Reddit.
*
"Hey, Alicia," I say.
"Yeah?" she says. She's lying on her back reading a huge book. I have no idea how she does it; I'd be terrified of dropping the book on my face.
"Could you do me a favor and, um, go to the library for a few hours?"
"No! Really?" she says, sitting up. "Who is he? Finals are only two weeks away!"
"Have you heard about Josh?"
"Which Josh? There's chess Josh, Josh with the weed, Josh with all the girlfriends, boring Josh, and probably like ten others."
"Josh from room 249," I say, blushing.
"Other boring Josh," she says, frowning. "I mean, I guess you could call him cute, but... why? I could tell you five other guys who are hotter than him, and they're probably better in bed, too. I'm not going to yuck your yum, but, um, you deserve better."
"Well, it's not actually like that," I say. "You heard about Kim, right?"
"She was going to drop out, right?" says Alicia.
"Did you hear what happened to her?"
"I heard she changed her mind," says Alicia. "What of it?"
"Well, she told me that Josh's ex Brittany said that--um--his cum helped her work out," I say, blushing.
"What?" says Alicia.
"That's what Kim said Brittany said. She said Brittany called it 'Josh's energy drink.' She said that after sucking him off just once, she could do a step class every day on top of her Round and all her classes."
"That sounds like just the kind of rumor boring-looking guys like Josh would start," she says. "But Brittany works out, like, all day long, and I've been wondering how she does it."
"That's what Kim said she thought too. But she said she was really desperate. You know she already quit her job, and she was failing most of her classes. She was going to lose her scholarship."
"I didn't know that," says Alicia quietly.
"So she was willing to try almost anything, right? She even tried Adderall she bought off Mike, and it didn't help. So as a last resort, she tried sucking off Josh."
"And?"
"She said it was like magic. She said that suddenly she could sleep again. She said she could study, she could work out, she got extra tutoring, and now she's almost made up for what she missed earlier in the semester for all her courses."
"So what are you thinking?"
"Well, you know I've been struggling," I say.
"Yeah," she says softly.
"So I was thinking, I'd kind of like to give it a try," I say, blushing.
"Well, I'm not going to tell you what to do," says Alicia. "But I still think it sounds like a rumor a desperate guy would start. So I'm not going to the library. I'm going to Kayla's room. If it starts going bad, you can pound on the wall, you can yell for me, or you can speed-dial me, and I will be right there."
"Thanks," I say.
*
I knock on room 249. A fairly scary-looking, tall, muscular boy answers.