Josh: Hun 3

Josh gave me a toothy grin, and he almost looked human. I nodded at him and he pulled the air lock at the same time as I pushed the detonator, sending us both flying safely into space as our ship exploded in a fiery blast that died as quickly as it began, the lack of oxygen around us snuffing out whatever it might have been in a more forgiving atmosphere. I don't know if it was the sudden grappling with my mortality I'd just had to do or what, but I found myself sorta checking Josh out.

I've never really been into alien dudes, which I know makes me sound xenophobic, but my dad's a zookeeper and the few times I have fallen into bed (or that one time space station bathroom- yeah, I'm not proud) for interplanetary relations I sometimes kinda felt like I was fourteen again, cleaning out the octopus tank. So I can't tell you what is was about Josh right now that was getting me going, but here I was, looking at his double-tailed ass and wondering things I'd never thought before.

He saw my not-so-subtle ogling of his rear end and gave me a smirk that probably should've shocked me back into seeing him as my copilot and not Hunk #3 at RazzmatazZ, but instead sorta made me feel tingly. I rolled my eyes at him and signed that he should call main base and get someone deployed to save us. Embarrassing, but probably necessary at this point, unless he's got a ship hidden somewhere in that amble bubble butt. He signed back that he already had.

I kinda hate that he had to be the one in contact since my vocal chords couldn't make the sounds necessary to talk to command central, but I got my revenge calling him Josh. I mean, it's kinda hilarious that the sounds that're hardest for him to pronounce are all together in one name, right? He was signing again, so I focused, with effort, on his hands. He told me dispatch might be another hour or so, and we'd basically be stuck here floating around with nothing other than our suits, oxygen tanks, and trackers until rescue turned up. I signed back that I hope no one else attacks us today, seeing as we both lost our weapons in the struggle that got us into this mess. He signed that he'd protect me, and I rolled my eyes again, since everyone knew he was the navigator and I was the fighter.

I gave him another once-over, trying to be a little less obvious this time. I figure if we get out of this alive, he'd probably go for it. I mean, the dude was straight and I had to be one of three girls he'd interacted with in the last five years. Plus the guy didn't have the same hang-ups about my species as I had about his. Well, as far as I know. But, I mean, other than our low immune systems, what's not to like about humans?

I was deep into dumb fantasies and just about ready to climb Josh's vaguely lizard-like body by the time the dispatch team arrived to spring us before we died and were pulled into orbit by the closest star big enough to collect space trash. Or, you know, were assassinated by angry mobsters. Whichever. Luckily one of the people on the dispatch team was a human, young enough I kinda wondered if this was his first mission and he was a new recruit, but human nonetheless.

It's always a treat being able to speak out loud to someone who might understand you, or at least can make the same kinda sounds. I've learned not to get my hopes up about meeting other English speakers, since it only ever turned out that way once every couple hundred humans, and seeing humans this far out is kinda rare anyway.

The kid helped me unsuit and into a cleaning pod even as I signed that I didn't need it. He laughed (which honestly was great because I'm pretty tired of only hearing Josh's dull rasps when I say something funny) and signed back that yeah, I did need it, so clean up and then press my code into the key pad and he'll show me where I'm sleeping tonight. I guess we must've ended up pretty off course if we were in for an overnight trip. I sighed and grumbled that I'd do as he told me to and he said something back in what sounded kinda Russian to me, although I've never been much good at recognizing languages.

The pod was nice and I got out feeling pretty revived and honestly kinda horny. Humans are my preference, but my helpful probably Russian kid can't be older than 20 so my best bet's probably to hope Josh's ass still looks good outside of his space suit and now that I'm no longer quite as worried about a quickly approaching death.

I keyed in my code and waited for the kid to come back and escort me to my new digs, well at least for tonight. When he came back, I was again shocked by how young he was, maybe even still a teenager. His chin was smooth in a way that kinda looked unintentional, not like he shaved but like he just couldn't grow any facial hair.

He was nice though and we signed back and forth pleasantly. He wasn't mad about having to save our assess since it brought him closer to where his family lives. That sorta shocked me because I'd never heard of humans living out this far, but then he explained that he was raised in a multi- planetary foster program and his mom was one of the youth who never got stationed. Guess that also explains being in a dispatch team so young. If I'd been raised in one of those places, I'd be gunning to get out as soon as possible too. Nice he considers them family though.

My cot was standard issue, and the room had a waste depository connected to it, so at least that was nice. No fumbling down the hallway in confusion if I had to pee later. There was also a door connecting to another room, but when I checked the knob it was locked.

My Russian foster boy showed up one more time with food and a mouth cleanser foaming kit. He also told me Josh was situated next door and that we'd have a meeting in the morning. That was kind of ominous since we'd pretty much single handedly brought about the deaths of four crew members, destroyed a nice ship, and pissed off some important mobsters when we blew up their cronies along with our expensive ship, but on the upside we did manage to get the coordinates we were supposed to from them, so I was hopeful we'd still get paid, even if Meg would be less than pleased at all the mess we made.

Josh was still awake, and from the egg timer in front of him and his chipmunk cheeks I could see he was doing a post meal foaming. The guy always was a stickler for hygiene. Which is honestly nice in a copilot, though after blowing up our ship together I kinda figured we wouldn't be put on another mission together again soon. His cheek size went down and I could tell the foam had turned to liquid, something he confirmed by spitting out in the bag included as part of the kit. He noticed me standing in his doorway and smiled.

He signed at me to ask if I'd enjoyed dinner. I told him I wasn't hungry and he rolled his eye, a habit I'm pretty sure he picked up from me while we'd been stuck together in the cockpit over the course of that last two weeks. I asked if he wanted to bone and listened to his weird rasping laugh. Just as I was about to see his delicately scale-covered chest (a sight I'd been perfectly able to see without twitching with excitement many times before but was for some reason now giving me all the damn feels), the emergency alarm went off and the overhead speakers started making screeching noises. I looked to Josh to translate, still having not quite got the hang of common tongue, and he signed that the mobsters we'd upset were back.

Quickly, I slipped into the clean suit I'd been provided and we met back in his room two minutes later, lasers charged and suited up. He signed to check in that I hadn't lost the coordinates and when I affirmed that I've got them, he explained that while I'd been in the cleaning pod earlier, he'd readied a jet for us to escape on just in case. Smart guy. Kinda annoying that his species shed their skin and thus he doesn't need the regular cleanings I do, but lucky in this case.

We climbed in and I pulled the latch just as we came into view of a rather angry looking gangster I recognized from before when we'd stolen the coordinates. Josh gave me a questioning look and I nodded that we were airtight. Then, for the second time that day, Josh pulled the airlock and sent us shooting into space. The unfortunate mobster behind us wasn't wearing a suit, and his six-legged body exploding behind us gave me deja vu. Soon we were speeding away in the jet, and this time instead of Josh's tight, scaly body, my mind focused on that kid and I wondered if he'd die in there, and if he'd ever get to see his foster family again, and how close they are anyway.

Then we went through a warp and my mind shit off for a minute. When I was back again, Josh was grinning at me and my weak human body, and I grinned back, coordinates protected, getting paid in the works, and getting laid a definite possibility for the near future. I should've eaten that dinner, though, when I'd had the chance.